(Part 2) Best products from r/OkCupid

>I have an imaginary pug named Hank that I named after Charles Bukowski.
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>I like to disappear. I am amused by horribly fucked up things. They say I can be insanely glib. I call it devil-may-care but have no idea what that actually means. I love to argue and am fairly good at it; I don't even need to believe in the position I take. I like to wear suits and ties, they make me feel fancy. I make funny faces. I rarely smile but constantly smirk or have a shit eating grin.
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>I get bored very easily.
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>I can probably drink a lot more than you. I have only been black out drunk a few times in my life and three of them happened over a 5 day span in which I made out with a lesbian, got in a fight with some Ukrainians, cracked my ribs(curb related, not Ukraine), got in a shouting match with a stripper, nearly grifted by another stripper and a poker dealer, convinced a cop to not only not arrest my friend and I but to give us a ride home, only to snap out of my black out screaming "NOEL!!!" outside of a building eight blocks from where the cops dropped us off. Then when the new set of police showed up, due to my screaming, convinced them to not arrest me and I walked home. Noel's my best friend, and his story from after we separated is even crazier.
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>People that say "I don't need to drink to have a good time" are fucking assholes. Not people that don't actually need to drink to enjoy themselves, but the people that feel the need to vocalize this utterly fucking useless bit of trivia.
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>I have a talent for pretending to be a mature, well-adjusted adult when the circumstances call for it.
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>I like to say things like "There is no love, only pain" to infuriatingly upbeat and happy people just to watch their brain melt. The reality being I don't have that strong an opinion on it either way.
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>I have super strong opinions and beliefs and do absolutely nothing about them. I just like having them.
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>I don't vote.
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>I'm a published author but my profession is listed as other because I haven't been paid to write anything in over a year, haven't even tried in about 6 months, and am back to being a soulless administrator. However, I hold out hope that I will eventually finish the three novels I've spent a quarter of my life working on. Bukowski spent a decade at the post office before getting his first novel finished. Granted it only took him three weeks after he'd actually started. But I digress.
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>If you'd like to purchase something I was published in and then try to guess which author I am here you go:
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>http://www.amazon.com/Bleeding-Heart-Cadaver-magazine-September-December/dp/1467910201
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>I think versatility is sexy.
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>I am a bit of a sexual deviant. I think the Marquis de Sade was misunderstood.
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>I like poetry. Fuck you.
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>I grew up in a small northern California town that apparently smells like cow shit to people not from there; I don't get it. I spent half a year in Seattle after high school, ran away to LA with nothing but my guitar and my 1990 Geo Prism and a decade later wound up here with a Honda Accord and no guitar.
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>My friends are my family. My family are mainly people I barely know and barely know me. I am not a filial person but I am fiercely loyal.
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>I am always writing, even when I'm not. Hope you've always dreamed of being thinly-veiled. As a result, I have tendency to treat most people as though they were characters in a book about my life.
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>I will randomly quote Louis CK stand up or Arrested Development. And sometimes it is completely appropriate. I am open-minded. I am often contrary for no reason other than being bored.
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>It has been brought to my attention recently that the beauty about being a writer is that you don't actually have to possess any talent in order to call yourself one.
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>I rewrite/add to my profile often to amuse myself.
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>Lately, come mid-Thursdays, an overwhelming and seemingly corporeal urge to find an excuse to get in my car and drive far from this city and spend the weekend there encompasses me. Then, come Monday the urge is quelled and I have no desire to even go to the fucking mailbox.
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>Also, for whatever reason(and you can read into it what you will) I have a deeply ingrained attraction to women that irritate the shit out of me. Maybe because sex is so boring when it is with someone you actually care about... is he kidding?
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>UPDATE: I've now been black out drunk one more time. I must be getting old. July 4 I was wandering round my cousin's back alley showing strangers pictures of my friends from back home in Los Angeles from my phone. Why would I be ashamed of that? That is adorable!

Overview

Overall, pretty good.. needs a fair amount of wordsmithing, but I think you're doing a fair job of getting you personality across

Photos

Your main sucks wind, it doesn't look like the person in any of the other photos. I suspect it's the most recent, but it's focus is so bad it makes you look kind of like the brown eyed office bound older brother of the blue eyed mad bro who's out in the world having a great time in all the other pictures.

How much time are we talking about between the oldest and most recent pictures here?

You're 22, you've changed a lot in just the last year, for that matter 3 years. None of these should be more than 6 months old.

My self-summary

>Here's a hint... My name's not Steve! Recent University grad, Computer Science major. I'm very easy going and love to meet new people. I'm interested in traveling, photography, techy stuffy and love vinyl records.

Beeb! Hipster alert!

You're hopefully going to put most of this in it's appropriate section, so it really doesn't belong here.

Then come back here and give it a fresh try.. make this section why you like all the things you're mentioning in the other sections.. All of those are what you're passionate about, this section should be why you're passionate about it.


What I’m doing with my life

> Just graduated University! Currently working in IT for a corporate office. My coffee mug says that I'm the worlds greatest computer whizz.

I hope your coffee mug doesn't really say that, and if it does I hope you take it home, otherwise I will guess at least one fellow employee has taken a piss into your mug.

This is what you're doing in the "what's occurring in your life" sense not "What are your life goals and what are you doing to achieve them" sense. The question can go either way, I'm personally more fond of the later.

I’m really good at

Meh.. not terrible, not fantastic.

The first things people usually notice about me

Leave it blank, let it disappear.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Not bad.. covering most bases.

No book? Not even a single favorite book?

Winter's Tale Paperback – by Mark Helprin

Get it.. wait till the first snowflakes start to fall, open it and start reading. Thank me or tell me it was crap when you finish reading it.

The six things I could never do without

Fair enough.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

> If the Oxford Comma is truly a necessity.

Yep. It's like ending a SQL statement with out a ;

On a typical Friday night I am

Paint a more vivid picture. Give the potential date reading your profile something they can mentally place themselves into. Do you frequent sports bars, wine bars, craft brew taprooms, live music, what?

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

No.. clear it, make it go away.

You should message me if

I was good with that until you used Adventure.

NO.

> Why don't you google it before you rant or at least look up Wikipedia

Why don't you just listen to one of Donald Trump's speeches before disagreeing with him? Why don't you just educate yourself?

The reason is that it is not my responsibility to express your belief system for you. What you are really saying is that no one is allowed to disagree with you. You seem to think that Googling "Social Justice" yields all the positive results of your cult but ignore little facts like this book: http://www.amazon.com/Social-Justice-Islam-Revised-Edition/dp/1889999113

Where a founder of the Muslim Brotherhood and a strong influence on Al Queda wrote a book about social justice.

Seems like you didn't Google it. But rather just have lofty ideals that you expect and demand anyone else to have.

> Justice is a really broad term.

It's odd that you would say this but then think that Social Justice is less broad. Justice itself is pretty simple, it's the application of the law doing the right thing. I'm going to go forward and say that the goals of "Social Justice" seem very good and very lofty but they have no means (law) of doing anything right. When Social Justice has become the law, it's openly totalitarian in it's application.

I'm so glad that you used such a great source as Wikipedia. It shows the level of intellect that follows social justice.

Let's compare and contrast your definition of Social Justice to the Khmer Rouge's implementation of it via their constitution:

Social Justice:

> tacit terms for the distribution of wealth

Khmer Rouge:

• > "“every citizen of DK is guaranteed a living,"
  
  
  
  > opportunities for personal activity
  
  Khmer Rouge:
  
  
• > all peasants are the masters of the rice paddies and fields, all workers are the masters of their factories, and all laborers have the right to work.
  
  > Instead of flaunting your ignorance by writing "where social justice gets it wrong",
  
  NO, instead of flaunting YOUR IGNORANCE , maybe you should learn a little history about where your Social Justice Movement gets it wrong and has consistently gotten it wrong.
  

Depends on how old you are.

• Middle school: I really enjoyed this, this, and this, but I don't think I can read those books now (29) without cringing a little bit. Especially, Getting Things Done because I already know how to make to do list, but I still flip through all 3 books occastionally.
  
  
• High school: I really enjoyed this, this, and this, but if you're a well adjusted human and responsible adult, then I don't think you'll find a lot of helpful advice from these 6 books so far because it'll be pretty basic information.
  
  
• College: I really enjoyed this, this, and started doing Malcolm Gladwell books. The checklist book helped me get more organized and So Good They Can't Ignore You was helpful starting my career path.
  
• Graduate School: I really enjoyed this, this, and this. I already stopped with most "self help" books and reading more about how to manage my money or books that looked interesting like Stiff.
  
  
• Currently: I'm working on this, this, and this. Now I'm reading mostly for fun, but all three of these books are way out of my league and I have no idea what their talking about, but they're areas of my interest. History and AI.

Har de har har to all the comedians replying to you... here are some non-joke answers:

• Dataclysm, by OKCupid founder Christian Rudder
  
• Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, an advice columnist I happen to love who could teach a lot of OKC users a thing or two
  
• OKCupid A-List gift subscription (you'd have to know their username... could maybe print out a homemade "coupon" for them to redeem with you later if you don't know it)
  
• phone tripod, for taking better profile selfies

I should always be working on my dissertation, I feel, but that's not always possible. Subtle difference.

As for reading? The go-to books are Segal and Spaeth, Epstein and Knight, and for a bonus, Maltzman, Spriggs, and Wahlbeck. Also, take a gander at Esptein's CV or any of the authors listed. They sometimes have accessible (re: free) articles. Epstein's CV also includes access to the Judicial Common Space scores, which are ideology scores for the Supreme Court.

As for what I want to be researching? Legitimacy, without a doubt. The globalization of law. Law as a recolonizing tool. Comparative constitutional structures. Symbols of law in pop culture. There are a myriad of things that interest me with several common themes.

Yeah, just ignore all the crap. There are guys there that truly just want to help you become a better human by increasing your self worth, then there are the dudes that just want to get laid. I'm way past the "just wanting to get laid" stage, but most of the same rules apply for both. I'm not a pick-up professional by any stretch of the imagination, but I have absolutely no problem talking to the hottest chick in a bar.

I highly recommend reading the book "The Game" for any guy who wants to have better success while interacting with women. Again, it is filled with all kinds of bullshit but it is a fun read and the key facts about the psychology of the female mind is spot on.

A PRO TIP for guys that want to "get a girls number" on OKCupid. If you message back and forth a few times and are hitting it off and want her number message her something along these lines: "Hey, I'm super-busy the next few days (or away from the computer), here's my number, text me if you want to chat otherwise I'll talk with you when I get back."

90% of the time, you'll get a text saying "Hey, this is blahblah from OKC." If you don't get a text, all is not lost, she's just a tad more shy than most women.

Models

First step is accepting your situation in life. Good job.

Good luck.

My favorite are these because they're my images from when I studied abroad in Australia. I just wish I could reprint them in a bigger size, but they come from way back in the day when DSLRs were 6MP. There's also a version somewhere on my computer that's got pterodactyls photoshopped in that are pretty cool.

I have a TARDIS poster in my bedroom though ....

Why not read [this] (http://www.amazon.com/What-Do-Women-Want-Adventures/dp/0061906085) and then remark on it under your favorites section? You might be surprised what you find in this little tale of female desire. :)

Yeah like this one

I saw a couple at Nocturnal and immediately knew I needed one. I was going to wait until my birthday next month but DJ is playing a little festival in a couple of weeks and I want it in time for that.

You are a Nice Guy. You are emotionally needy and you try to fulfill your needs by doing things for others, expecting tit for tat, having them give you attention because you did something for them. Life does not work that way and you will continue to experience frustration until you start doing things for yourself and gain confidence.

http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/

And people are on OKCupid looking for dates. I have no idea if you're doing this to find dates or if you're just messaging people for the hell of it, but most people want to learn something about the person they're talking to when they exchange messages. What would I learn about you if you recommended a book or band to me? Pretty much nothing. It's not a good way to have a conversation.

Generic advice here, but this book might be interesting as a source of info on what's attractive and what's not:

http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24

I had some savory sriracha bacon jerky the other day.

and that's a great looking sandwich.

if there's a natural spring on the hike, this will be handy.

[I am tempted to read this book] (https://www.amazon.com/Feelings-Practical-Managing-Impossible-Problems/dp/1476789991/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474906930&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=fuck+feelinsg)

Yeah, breaking out of your role models is hard. Glad you were able to do it with the help.

From what I know, they'd like to; their author has spent the last 3 years making an update to them and compiling the results into an independent book.

I'm sure some variant will return at some point.

I know therapy gets thrown around a helluva lot around here, but I had temporary self esteem issues for a bit in the past, and therapy really helped me out of it. I also read a book called Fuck Feelings which had a section on Self Esteem. That was also helpful in maintaining my self esteem whenever I was down about it (but logically knew it was bollocks).

Philips BodyGroom is better than shaving. Just gotta be careful with the trimmer thingy around your balls

It's part of The Game - That's definitely an interesting read if you're into reverse engineering a relationship out of insults.

According to Christian Rudder, it's one of the most common phrases for white peoples' profiles.

Yeah there is https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24

And it's quite old so it has been tested by time. It's evergreen and it came from someone who despises tactics, tricks and other malicious approaches.