Welcome to OYS!

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>lifting 3-5 times/week and 2 basketball games plus shootaround/week

>Physically I am doing alright, just want to get cardio up and stay mobile/quick but also strong.

>Extremely rare porn use (I think twice this year) and barely drink alcohol. (I used to use both a lot)

> Bit of background on my red pilling journey: Oneitis rejected me because she couldn’t handle me not being a virgin. I used to feel bitter about it but now I realize how much growing I needed that God wanted me to go through (and still going through). I was infatuated with the idea of a relo (some of my mates have great gf’s) and not at all interested in whatever my mission was. It sounds like a simple fix but gee it was a revelation.

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Sounds like you're heading in the right direction. This is good evidence that God is working in your life to conform you to the image of His Son.

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>Coeliac, Crohn’s disease and IBS

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Here is an article with links at the bottom to a series of articles on Celiac Disease. You may find it helpful. Also check out the book Grain Brain - I haven't read it myself but have seen it highly recommended.

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>Quick question: how much looking is too much to see if a girl looks good?

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It's the point where appreciation for her beauty turns to lust. There's a huge difference between thinking "Man, that girl is freaking gorgeous!" and "Man, she's got a bangin' body!" Imo one of the easiest ways to tell is to determine what you're focusing on: if it's her beauty there's nothing wrong with that. But if you're focusing on her body parts or mostly her body, then it's probably lust or will lead to lust. And if any of it leads to thoughts of wanting to bang her, then that's definitely lust.

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>Bible Study: 7, need to keep going now that semester has finished

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Are you using a reading plan?

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>Short term: I’m starting a regular men’s group within the uni Christian group, and I’ve been asked to help start the media ministry at church (we are currently filming a short video for Christmas). Also finish my BA. Sub points: develop my leadership and creative skills effectively.

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Wow, you've got a lot going for you right now, and it seems that God is using you in a number of different ways!

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>Long term: During the summer break and next year with the activities that I’m doing, to decide whether I should go into full-time ministry or Gov, non-Gov, private sector etc.

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What do you think God wants you to do? Have you prayed about it?

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>Anyway, I’m looking forward to the journey ahead. Also, looking to incorporate RPC ideas into the men’s group in an appropriate manner (which was one of the main reasons for me starting it). I have a fairly good idea on how I will go about it, but if anyone here has done something similar, would appreciate any advice or experiences.

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It depends what the focus of the men's group is. If it's a Bible study, you might find it difficult to incorporate much RPC stuff directly. On the other hand, if the focus is more on men and the issues they face, you might be able to copy some of the material from the Sidebar and share it with the class where appropriate, without mentioning that it came from here (most pastors won't even consider anything "Red Pill", no matter how biblical the advice is). In addition, you might be able to use u/Deep_Strength's book The Biblical Masculinity Blueprint in the class - it's very comprehensive and was written without any overt references to Red Pill.

Finally getting around to filling one of these out, haha. Here goes:

OYS #1 (1/31/2019)

Background / Stats: 23 years old | 5’9” | ~150 lbs., unknown BF | Single, living in the PNW.


 

Physical#

Physical / Lifting: 4. Hitting the gym regularly twice a week. I spend an hour on the treadmill/elliptical, followed by 30 minutes of dumbbells (25 lb bench, 15 lb overhead), 50 lb leg press, and some crunches. Recently decided to participate in a Spartan Race (Sprint) this June. Wish I was making more progress with the dumbbells. Happy with cardio growth. Likely need to up this to 3 times a week.

Diet: 2. Was recently asked by my landlords not to cook in my apartment. I had been doing fairly well cooking with a hot plate, but air circulation is a problem, and they live directly above me. Having to rely on eating out, freezer meals, and sandwiches until I move out later this month.

Porn: 2. Alternating between long streaks and binges. Trying to get back into a streak.

Relationship: 0. I am not in a relationship, and have no prospects for one. There are no Christian women at the church I go to or in the same denomination within an hour's drive. There are some women who are farther out, but as far as I've talked with them, they seem to be more career-focused. I tend not to care enough to try and get beyond that, as I am adamant about my wife not working outside the home.

Fashion: 4. Nothing special. I don't dress sloppy, but I'm not particularly fashionable either. I tend to wear T-shirts or sweaters, jeans, and a jacket most of the time, occasionally wearing a dress shirt. I haven't found any fashion advice yet that didn't look hipster-ish.

Time prioritization: 2. I spend too much time on the computer, either having private group political/moral discussions on social media, reading about history, or occasionally playing a game. I could do much better in this area, as it is currently hurting me the most.

Career/Finances: 6. Graduated last spring and am currently employed as a software developer making 70k a year. My only debts are my student loans, which are down to 60k now. I plan to have these payed off within 2 years. I am content with how much I am payed.

I'm experimenting with a few ideas that could translate into a business, but don't have anything serious in the works yet.

Goals: Become debt free (short term) | Move to a lower cost-of-living area (short-mid term) | buy a home with land, start homesteading (long term, to what degree depends on having a wife).


 

Mental/Emotional#

Have read: NMMNG, the Bible, Lost Art of Discipleship, most of the sidebar material (didn't keep track of which ones).

Currently reading: WISNIFG, How Liberalism Failed, a historical biography, the Bible (currently in 2 Cor., no set reading plan).

Game: 2. Beyond what little evangelism I'm doing, I don't know or practice any game. I experience difficulties holding and leading a conversation, as well as making an unpopular point coming across in a convincing, non-sperg way.

Social: 2. Outside of things I have scheduled or committed to, I spend all my time at home, and am normally not very productive. Apart from the occasional longing for a wife and companion, I don't feel lonely. There is only one guy my age at church who doesn't stick around for long. I get along well with the middle-aged and older folks though.

Pressures: I previously leaned MGTOW, and, while I no longer do so, I still find it difficult to care, particularly if a woman displays even a slight amount of popular culture in her actions or preferences, often unrealistically so. When it comes to talking to women, I still tend to present myself in a more agreeable, warm, beta style.

Trust in God's will, even when it's not what you want: 100%.



 

Spiritual#

Spiritual background: Baptized Christian for 9 years. Grew up and was homeschooled in a fairly traditional Christian family that has a fairly large amount of regional respect and influence in the conservative denomination that I attend.

Assurance of Salvation: 8. I struggle occasionally when I struggle with sin (mostly porn) or miss an opportunity for or mess up evangelism, but overall I don't dwell on it too much and am secure in it.

Quiet Time/Devotional: 1. Struggling to regularly spend time in the scriptures. Trying to establish barriers and habits with technology use to help prevent it from distracting me.

Bible Study: 2. I only tend to do meaningful bible study when preparing for a class, lesson, etc.

Scripture Memory: 0. I bought An Approach to Extended Memorization of Scripture and read it about a month ago, and it gave what seems to be a solid system. I haven't started to memorize anything yet.

Prayer: 3. I pray often, but only occasionally spend a prolonged amount of time in focused prayer.

Evangelism: 3: Every Monday I go with a few of them men from the church to take a meal and evangelize to the homeless. Gave the lesson for the first time this week. I'm not a great or smooth speaker by any means, but it gives me experience speaking well/clearly, and learning to guide conversations. Not doing any other evangelism besides slipping references to my faith in my conversations with others.

Fellowship: 3. I spend as much time at church as I can talking with folks and sharing what's working and how I'm struggling to increase my faith. Unfortunately I'm not able to invite anyone where I'm living, and I haven't been invited to anyone else's home either. I volunteer to participate/help in anything that comes up.

Mission:

1. To preach the gospel to all who will listen.
   
   
2. To strengthen the church from within by advocating for a more traditional Christianity along with pushing Christian culture as opposed to bending to the frame of secular culture.
   
   
3. To live a life that is holy, godly, and less stained by the world by seeking a more traditional lifestyle.
   
   Mission progress: 3. I was asked about teaching a midweek class at church for the younger teens, which has gone well both times I have taught. Some roughness in presentation, but I'm improving and enjoying it. Slowly getting better at the weekly homeless evangelism, which I see as a stepping stone to doing more evangelism in other places. Really excited about the progress that is being made through these areas. Struggling with balancing my relationship with technology, which easily soaks up most of my time. Haven't learned any traditional skills lately, but this will likely improve once my housing situation improves.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1932455302

“Bilingual edition: In English and in Greek. It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). When you receive, your hands are filled but when you give, your soul is filled. When you swear for someone else, your body is getting tired but your soul is at rest. Life means "offering". Marriage is also an offering. It is a source of life and of joy. A candle will not illuminate a room if it does not melt. Incense doesn't become fragrant if it doesn't melt. The same is true of spouses. If they do not "melt" into their obligations, they will not illumine in their marriage or become fragrant. Every husband and wife can become light and incense as long as they desire to do so, as long as they try and struggle to "melt" while fulfilling their spousal obligations. This book is a guide to a good and successful marriage. Hopefully, it will help our brothers and sisters in Christ view their marriage as a spiritual struggle, which can "elevate" them to Heaven. Amen. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Δίγλωσση Έκδοση: Αγγλικά και Ελληνικά. Τό βιβλίο εἶναι εἶναι ἕνας ὁδηγός γιά μιά ὡραία συζυγία· γιά ἕναν ὄμορφο καί πετυ- χημένο Γάμο! Μακάρι νά βοηθήσει τούς ἐν Χριστῷ ἀδελφούς μας, ἄνδρες καί γυναίκες, ὥστε νά ἰδοῦν τή συζυγία τους σάν ἕνα πνευματικό ἀγώνισμα πού θά τούς ἀνεβάσει ψηλά, πολύ ψηλά στόν Οὐρανό! Ἀμήν.”

Great stuff. thanks for puting this all together. I know it took a while to get this all out on here. Keep up the good work.

We are going through a similar series here in our local group. This idea of vetting a woman can be tricky stuff.

One of the things that we teach is to learn about attachment styles. Attachment styles are crucial because some personality types can go undetected during even the longest of dating periods.

For example, a covert narcissist is skilled at hiding and obfuscating and has in fact built their whole life around covert behaviors and gas-lighting manipulative behaviors. These types of behaviors are never talked about or trained, etc.

They can ruin relationships of all types...especially marriages.

A nice intro book into Attachment Styles is Amir Levine's book:

https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=attached&qid=1551372762&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Anyway, keep up the great work in helping guys learn how to better vet women.

Compassionate Alpha

Rom 12:2 "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

Renew your mind so that you think different thoughts in times of testing.

Basically, read the Bible. Memorize Scripture. Read good Biblical books. I'm reading this now: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004Z70982/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Let the Word of God (aka God's thoughts) rewire your brain.

What is your mission? I may be able to give you some book recommendations that can inspire you in your mission.

Awesome news about the new job. Hopefully that gets you out of the house and into your own place soon. Don't worry about what your step-sister says - keep locking your door. Are you talking to any other girls?

Good job making it to small group.

Have you asked your pastor about working out with him? In your askRPC post you mentioned that he's pretty jacked. Sounds like he'd be a good dude to workout with.

Where are you at in terms of the recommended reading? Have you read u/deepstrength's book?

I think like the parable of the weeds and wheat it is nearly impossible in many cases to distinguish real faith apart from false faith. That said, sometimes it is beyond obvious when someone does not actually possess faith.

Regarding the crusades, I do believe that true Christians were involved, at least early on during the first few. I recommend this book on the topic. I for one am glad that Europe did not fall to the Muslims back then and it was the bravery of Christian men who stopped the advance. Was it always so clear? No. War is a mess and the motives are many. Atrocities were committed on both sides. That said, I wish the common Christian man had that much courage these days rather than roll over and let the SJWs walk all over them.

Background / Stats: 51 years old, 6’0”, 215, ~14% BF. Discovered RP in 1986 thanks to my old man, didn't find it was called RP until 2015.

Have read: All of RPC Sidebar, all of MRP Sidebar, all the books

Physical / Lifting: LOL. It's been two months since I've had a progress report, so I've gone up on most of my lifting.

Diet: 9. Lean, and protein.

SPIRITUAL Born again Christian for 32 years.

• Assurance of Salvation: 10.
  
• Quiet Time: 10. So I've had some travel, and some time helping family members clean up in the aftermath of my home town getting wiped out. It's pretty bad when that place looks like my mission trips to Honduras. But it's also given a lot of quiet time to reflect, be it on a plane or while operating equipment in a repetitive manner.
  
• Bible Study: 8. Still going through the lesser prophets, even after two months. Last one was Hosea.
  
• Scripture Memory: 7. I've actually gotten a talking Bible to carry around now.
  
• Fellowship: 8. Nothing builds fellowship like trying to get structures built or repaired with a group of guys.
  
• Evangelism: 8. Still working with the gym group between traveling. Took a couple of the younger ones along on some of the trips to see just how good they have it here in the U.S.
  
• Prayer: 8. Again being in a group working on structures, you need prayer and vigilance to avoid injury. Especially when the local hospitals aren't 100%. I'm reminded of Alexander Selkirk's declaration about his faith once he had made it back to polite society.
  
  Career/Finances: Not much to report here.

>I’ve had a pastor at my church admit that if he spoke out against Marxism, the church would only retain 1/5 of if it’s members.

Hmm, wasn't the early Church Marxist in nature, in that members apparently pooled their resources? (Incidentally it doesn't seem that it worked very well for them; hence Paul's admonition that people who don't work shouldn't be able to eat, etc.). The Pilgrims were inspired by the Gospel to attempt communal farming -- again, it failed and they nearly starved before adopting an "every family for itself" model. OTOH, there were a number of religious communistic societies in 18th-century America that fared quite well for a time. The Shakers are probably the best-known, but there were others as well, such as the Amana colonies and Harmony Society. An interesting read: https://www.amazon.com/Communistic-Societies-United-States/dp/1406550418#customerReviews

(In short while I think socialism/communism may be impractical, I wouldn't consider it necessarily ungodly.)

Ignoring some of the how women work commentary he makes, I highly recommend Wild At Heart by John Eldridge.

https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Revised-Updated-Discovering/dp/1400200393/

Look up the book Boundries by Cloud and Townsend - Scripture based, very good, helped me solidify my frame.

Let me share something back: https://www.amazon.com/Closet-Vatican-Power-Homosexuality-Hypocrisy/dp/1472966147

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948252074/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_E6.UCbPFP2TXW