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There's a wonderful text about that in the book about introverts... “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking”.

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https://www.amazon.es/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0141029196/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536191453&sr=8-1&keywords=power+of+introverts


The problem with feminine strength is that it's gained with time and confidence. It's twice as hard to be strong and soft as it is to be strong and crass. Let me find this excerpt. It's a bit long, but I think it gets it.

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This is one I loved, I think it might help. It's about introverts, but can apply to your case (I think):


“My very first client was a young woman named Laura. She was a Wall Street lawyer, but a quiet and daydreamy one who dreaded the spotlight and disliked aggression. She had managed somehow to make it through the crucible of Harvard Law School—a place where classes are conducted in huge, gladiatorial amphitheaters, and where she once got so nervous that she threw up on the way to class. Now that she was in the real world, she wasn’t sure she could represent her clients as forcefully as they expected.

For the first three years on the job, Laura was so junior that she never had to test this premise. But one day the senior lawyer she’d been working with went on vacation, leaving her in charge of an important negotiation. The client was a South American manufacturing company that was about to default on a bank loan and hoped to renegotiate its terms; a syndicate of bankers that owned the endangered loan sat on the other side of the negotiating table.

Laura would have preferred to hide under said table, but she was accustomed to fighting such impulses. Gamely but nervously, she took her spot in the lead chair, flanked by her clients: general counsel on one side and senior financial officer on the other. These happened to be Laura’s favorite clients: gracious and soft-spoken, very different from the master-of-the-universe types her firm usually represented. In the past, Laura had taken the general counsel to a Yankees game and the financial officer shopping for a handbag for her sister. But now these cozy outings—just the kind of socializing Laura enjoyed—seemed a world away. Across the table sat nine disgruntled investment bankers in tailored suits and expensive shoes, accompanied by their lawyer, a square-jawed woman with a hearty manner. Clearly not the self-doubting type, this woman launched into an impressive speech on how Laura’s clients would be lucky simply to accept the bankers’ terms. It was, she said, a very magnanimous offer.

Everyone waited for Laura to reply, but she couldn’t think of anything to say. So she just sat there. Blinking. All eyes on her. Her clients shifting uneasily in their seats. Her thoughts running in a familiar loop: I’m too quiet for this kind of thing, too unassuming, too cerebral. She imagined the person who would be better equipped to save the day: someone bold, smooth, ready to pound the table. In middle school this person, unlike Laura, would have been called “outgoing,” the highest accolade her seventh-grade classmates knew, higher even than “pretty,” for a girl, or “athletic,” for a guy. Laura promised herself that she only had to make it through the day. Tomorrow she would go look for another career.

Then she remembered what I’d told her again and again: she was an introvert, and as such she had unique powers in negotiation—perhaps less obvious but no less formidable. She’d probably prepared more than everyone else. She had a quiet but firm speaking style. She rarely spoke without thinking. Being mild-mannered, she could take strong, even aggressive, positions while coming across as perfectly reasonable. And she tended to ask questions—lots of them—and actually listen to the answers, which, no matter what your personality, is crucial to strong negotiation.

So Laura finally started doing what came naturally.

“Let’s go back a step. What are your numbers based on?” she asked.

“What if we structured the loan this way, do you think it might work?”

“That way?”

“Some other way?”

At first her questions were tentative. She picked up steam as she went along, posing them more forcefully and making it clear that she’d done her homework and wouldn’t concede the facts. But she also stayed true to her own style, never raising her voice or losing her decorum. Every time the bankers made an assertion that seemed unbudgeable, Laura tried to be constructive. “Are you saying that’s the only way to go? What if we took a different approach?”

Eventually her simple queries shifted the mood in the room, just as the negotiation textbooks say they will. The bankers stopped speechifying and dominance-posing, activities for which Laura felt hopelessly ill-equipped, and they started having an actual conversation.

More discussion. Still no agreement. One of the bankers revved up again, throwing his papers down and storming out of the room. Laura ignored this display, mostly because she didn’t know what else to do. Later on someone told her that at that pivotal moment she’d played a good game of something called “negotiation jujitsu”; but she knew that she was just doing what you learn to do naturally as a quiet person in a loudmouth world.

Finally the two sides struck a deal. The bankers left the building, Laura’s favorite clients headed for the airport, and Laura went home, curled up with a book, and tried to forget the day’s tensions.

But the next morning, the lead lawyer for the bankers—the vigorous woman with the strong jaw—called to offer her a job. “I’ve never seen anyone so nice and so tough at the same time,” she said. And the day after that, the lead banker called Laura, asking if her law firm would represent his company in the future. “We need someone who can help us put deals together without letting ego get in the way,” he said.”

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The problem with trying to be feminine strong is that you have to be really superior. You cannot blow past your way with threats, screaming or banging the table. You have to know everything better than the others, be really competent. That's why I didn't start to feel safe in my femininity until after my 30s. It takes MUCH more hard work and much more competence to be feminine-strong than to be macho-strong (really masculine strength is not easy either).


Be nice, be relentless, and be better prepared than everyone else in the room. If someone raises their voice, you answer lowering yours (you never tell anyone to calm down UNLESS you want them to get furious). They scream, you speak even louder. You need physical help, you either fetch your pepper spray or call security. But unless whoever's at work lays a hand on you, you are poised, calm, polite and empathetic, just poised, calm, polite and empathetic steel.

25 isn't old. Neither is 30. But as you already know, if what you want is a family, the younger you start the better. You can still have children in your 30s but it will be higher risk than in your 20s. Human Biology 101.

You're right about men not putting much importance on a woman's academic/career credentials (unless he's hiring her for a specific position). What matters most to us after youth and fertility is a woman's femininity. Can you be intellectually interesting without a PhD? Yes. Just read a lot. Is it a waste of time for a woman who goes for her B.S/B.A./Master's/PhD and prioritizes her career? Not if that's what she wants to do. But realize that doing so comes at a cost—your femininity. The world of work is hard, it makes anyone hard, men and women. Like everything else in life, there's no free lunch (unless you don't have to work for a living). Time is a finite resource; the doors you walk into close other doors; but that's life.

What turns men on isn't your book knowledge but how "soft" you are. We are the hard, you are the soft. Hard seeks soft, soft seeks hard. But that doesn't mean you necessarily have to give up your chosen path in academia/career. You'll just have to work extra hard on maintaining/cultivating your femininity.

Here's some of what I've said in related threads.

Keep yourself physically attractive:

• Make fitness your top daily priority. Make it a way of life, as natural and enjoyable as drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning.
  
  
• Exercise one hour daily. Lift weights for muscle tone, not muscle mass. Don't worry, you won't look like a man unless you have higher than normal levels of testosterone or eat tons of protein. Run for heart fitness. Do abs/core exercises daily.
  
  
• Wear a moisturizer with SPF EVERY DAY. Your face won't age as fast. When you're hitting the beach or doing any physical activity in the sun, don't forget the sunscreen, especially on your face.
  
  
• Wear sunglasses. They'll help you avoid squinting or furrowing your eyebrows (facial strain).
  
  
• Eat healthy. Avoid sugar. Drink orange juice and eat yogurt daily.
  
  
• Get plenty of sleep.
  
  
• Drink rarely or moderately. The more you drink, the faster you'll look older.
  
  
• Drink plenty of water.
  
  
• Avoid drugs.
  
  
• Dress your best every day. Get rid of all pieces of clothing that don't make you feel confident or sexy.
  
  
  Maintain/cultivate your femininity/softness:
  
  
• Have a positive, vibrant, cheerful demeanor. Banish bitchy resting face.
  
  
• Take dance classes, especially social dance where there's a leader and a follower.
  
  
• Learn to flirt http://www.amazon.com/Flirting-Bible-Ultimate-Reading-Language-ebook/dp/B004R1PVQG
  
  
• Dress in a way that shows/enhances your femininity but doesn't cheapen you. Show cleavage but beware the slut cleavage threshold. Find jeans that fit you well. Learn good timeless, classic fashion.
  
  
• Learn to love your body and feel sexy all/most of the time. Learn how to walk sexy in heels (not like you have a corn cob stuck up your ass). Wear sexy lingerie, for yourself, regularly.
  
  
• Enjoy sex freely and let your freak flag fly proudly within a strictly monogamous relationship. Learn the art and joy of the blow job.
  
  
• Learn to yield to a mature masculine man. Learn to let him lead and relax in his leadership.
  
  
  Keep your relationship "value" high:
  
  
• Don't sleep around. If you want to enjoy sex or experiment, do it within a strictly monogamous relationship.
  
  
• Don't get pregnant (while dating).
  
  
  Learn about yourself / Learn to love yourself:
  
  
• Discover awareness. Meditate.
  
  
• Learn to be happy alone. Spend plenty of time in solitude and reflect on what you can learn from what's already happened. But balance solitude with socializing. Stay connected with family and real friends.
  
  
• Practice yoga.
  
  
• Volunteer at a nursing home.
  
  
• Find and make friends with people of good character. Ruthlessly cut off those with bad character (don't look back).
  
  
• Dump a cheater on the spot.
  
  
• Walk away decisively from anything you don't want or don't want to be in. Don't look back, only reflect on what you can learn from it.
  
  
• Learn to think critically / think for yourself. Realize that the world always wants something from you and will do what it does to extract the most from you. Don't get into any religion; they'll only force you into groupthink.
  
  
• Travel. But don't sleep around on the road.
  
  
• When you hang out with women, keep your mouth shut and your ears open. Observe and decide what's right or wrong for YOU. When you hang out with men, remember that most want to sleep with you. Enjoy their friendship and masculine energy.
  
  
  "Market" yourself / "put yourself out there":
  
  
• Volunteer at an animal shelter, farmers market, or any social activity that puts you in touch with the kind of man you want.
  
  
• Go to speed dating.
  
  
• Network and attend all social events you're invited to. Ask good questions about the person you're talking to.

I'm not sure if this is quite the right place to put this, but as someone who is very into fitness, health, etc, I want to put good information out there for people to see. Your statement about not losing weight possibly due to muscle gain reminded me of a pretty important idea:

Worry less about the scale and more about the mirror and your waist/hip measurements. The scale numbers matter, but not as much as you might think.

Here is an article on the average ideal waist:hip, waist:chest, and BMI for both men and women:
Ideal to real: What the perfect body really looks like


For the BMI, I'd recommend using this calculator, which BMI with an exponent of 2.5 instead of 2.0, making it better for people of significantly above or below average height:

New BMI Calculator

Here were the ideal numbers for women designed by men:

• BMI of 18.8
  
  
• Waist-to-hip ratio ratio of .73
  
  
• Waist-to-chest ratio of .69
  
  Obviously, you have less control over bust size than you might like, but handling your waist:hip ratio and trying to eat towards the ideal BMI is going to massively increase your sex appeal, mating options, and body satisfaction. The good news is, these are averages, and as long as you are reasonably close, you are going to be somebody's ideal.
  
  EDIT: Just to give a concrete example of this, I like narrower/flatter hips, a smaller chest, and a bit more muscle than most men. This will lead to a small overall size and low curves, but a somewhat higher BMI due to the higher muscle density. However, most women would be very well served by tailoring their fitness regimen to approach the above numbers over time.
  
  
  You can track both your weight and your measurements pretty cheaply. Here are a couple of products on Amazon that make it very easy:
  
  Body measurement tape, $5
  
  Digital scale, $23
  
  I own both of these products and I am very satisfied with them. I'd say measure yourself in the morning after relieving yourself for the most accurate & consistent results.
  
  Fitness and health are both easier and harder than people make them out to be. Often we pursue ideals that are a bit wrongheaded, and it is difficult to form good habits. However, once you pick the right goals, and you establish the good habits, it gets fairly easy and very rewarding. Happy self-improvement, folks!

Was it your SO? Was it your own choice?

We have 3 small children and I currently work full time in a nursing job. I was trying to do it all caring for my patients at work, being a mom, being a good wife, keeping up with the housework and all the kids activities and schooling. I found it was impossible to keep in top of it all and suffered a nervous breakdown a few months ago. My husband was the first to bring up me being a SAHM but I didn't initially want to as I was worried we wouldn't have all the vacations and frivolous things we currently can afford. My therapist then brought up the same thing and asked me if I was happy right now with my 1 vacation and year and frivolous things. The answer was no and neither are my kids and husband. We sat down and ran the numbers and we spend 50% of my salary on childcare and we were about to hire a maid so that would've taken more of my salary. The decision was easy.

How did it impact your life? Do you consider your financial stability is great on your SO's salary?

I'm not quitting for another 6 months, we need to make sure we have all our debts paid (credit card and line of credit) so all we will have is out mortgage. Things will be tight but the kids have been so happy since I've been off work. The house is in order, my husband only has to focus on his career and my kids can spend more time with me as I'm not struggling each night to get a days worth of chores (laundry, dishes, lunch and dinner making) done in a 2-3 hour period. Vacations are off the table as are pricey meals out and things like mani-pedis, but at the end of the day my marriage is stronger and so is my relationship with my precious children. Yes our finances are strictly on my husband but when the kids are older and don't need me as much we have talked about me getting a part time job that I can do when they are in school and still be home to pick them up from the bus.

Do you have any concerns about the future?

The future is never a given so I am trying to do the best by family and husband that I can in the present. If finances or health scares caused me to need to work again, I would in a heartbeat but for now this is the best for husband and kids.

Please tell me a bit about your experiences.

I head back to work in a few weeks and I'm dreading it but I have an end game in sight and a wonderful husband who supports me. He loves that I'm currently at home. He said coming home to a happy wife, clean home and happy kids is the best feeling as it makes him going to work worth it.

My biggest fears about staying at home are:

-SO meets another woman who contributes financially

I think this is a common fear for SAHW because their spouse us surrounded by other women 24/7. If you're keeping up with the housework and other necessities, taking care of yourself physically and mentally and are satisfying him physically I don't think there's anything to worry about. He chose you because of who you are as a person and if you keep up your end of the bargain he will too.

-SO leaves me and I have no savings /work experience

The future is never certain but if you trust him to marry him and he the same to you I think you will be fine. You just need to keep working on yourself and the house like it's your job, because it is. Don't fret over maybes, or you will drive yourself crazy. If he's a good man he will take care of you.

-Be poor

Money may be tight and that's a real consideration but if you are both smart with your spending and have a budget than it won't be that bad trust me. I highly recommend Dave Ramseys book "The Total Money Makeover" it changed our lives. I also can't say enough about Dr.Lauras book "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms".

Links to both books (both has a slight religious slant but as an agnostic I had no issue)

http://www.amazon.com/Praise-Stay-at-Home-Moms-Laura-Schlessinger/dp/B005SNO0L4

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1595555277/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1453678813&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=total+money+makeover&dpPl=1&dpID=51g2DdD31VL&ref=plSrch

Ok, here's my assessment. It's not 'trying harder' that will get you the man you want, you've been doing your best, I'm sure. It sounds to me like you have done your best; what you could think to do so far. You've not gotten the results you want, and now are rationalising giving up. So be patient and try more and different ways to add value to yourself. I say that because a good prospective partner, generally speaking, will be snapped up eventually. You are in no way hopeless. There is plenty of reason to believe you can find someone if you adjust your approach to do more of what works.


It may sound a little harsh for the previous guy's post to say you're not trying hard enough. Maybe another way to put that is to say that there are things that you haven't tried yet, or simply that you need to expand your repertoire.


For example: your voice. That's a rationalization. Changing your voice is totally possible. A voice coach can help you more than you dream, if you do the work. There are good videos on youtube that you can use to learn a more pleasing voice if you don't want to pay a coach. I knew a woman who did this as part of a makeover and the effect was stunning. Couldn't believe my ears.


My acne responded really well to the the ketogenic diet: /r/keto



> both my father and sibling are antisocial, and have communicated to me that I am expected to look after them

That's what they want. Who says they must get what they want, and you DON'T get to have what you want? Where did that rule come from? That's a rationalization.



>I've been realizing that the idea of a woman willing to put her career aside and sacrificing a large part of her independence is not for me personally.


So your career means more to you than marriage/family of your own? I don't hear it in your statements. If you were really happy to be focused on your career to the exclusion of a relationship, you wouldn't have written this post - you'd be happily focusing on your career, not giving men a second thought. That's a rationalization.


Do you see how the next two comments contradict each other?


>sacrificing a large part of her independence is not for me ...


>a handicapped sibling and a disabled father to care for now. No one else will care for them, the obligation has fallen on me


Sacrificing yourself is not for you... that's why you are going to care for your father and brother instead of allowing someone else to care for them and having your own family? Wait, what? That's a rationalization.


>Just getting married and having children while serving in the military isn't an issue for me.


I don't understand. You mean, it's not an issue, because you could do it easily, but you don't want to? Or it's not an issue because you think it's impossible? That's possibly a rationalization, I need clarification.


>I began to date recently for the first time as a woman in her early 20s, and found nothing no men worthwhile in my accessible range.



Fixed that for you. Men are not 'things'. Could it be that you are objectifying men in revenge for them not choosing you? If there is no one in your accessible range, does that mean that you are not using a realistic relationship/sexual market value (RMV or SMV) for yourself ? If there is no one worthwhile for you, that may be a sign that you are setting your sights too high. Or that you are hoping that certain men will find you attractive, they don't, and so the ones who do find you attractive, you reject because you are angry at men for rejecting you, and it just feels good to think certain men are beneath you?


This totally sounds like hypergamy, or 'women marry up'. This is the dynamic that, in a woman with lower self understanding, leads to her getting herself knocked up by the Chad she fancies, then finding a chump to pay for the kid who, once his natural masculinity kicks in from having a woman, will eventually want to assert himself, but then he will realize he's been played for a fool when the woman is obviously not attracted to him. Another MGTOW is born. Or (speaking from personal experience not having an involved dad) in the worst case scenario, she's raising the kid with no father.







How many men have you tried dating? How many of the ones whom you turned down did you actually give a fair shake before writing them off? In John Molloy's Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others, a significant percentage of women in his research project who had written off various men for one reason or another went back through their phone books and gave the guy another chance, and wound up marrying him.


Some men can and will grow into the role of Captain - there are a lot of men out there who don't even know it's possible to be a Captain because of the way our culture devalues masculinity. That doesn't mean they can't ever do it. You'll feel pretty disappointed if you ever meet one you turned down who later grew into a stud because he had a woman believe in him. I have to wonder how many of the 'things' you turned down just need the love of a feminine woman to bring out their masculine nature?


>I love caring for others and finding ways to support them


Are you really as caring and supportive as you claim?


Try giving care and support to some of those 'things' at whom you turned up your nose and see what happens. Maybe you are only interested in caring for and supporting a man who gives you tingles? What if one of those men just needs someone to believe in him and support him, to turn him into a more sexy version of himself? If any woman here can learn about RPW and increase her SMV/RMV, and the same is true of men in /r/marriedredpill, wouldn't it stand to reason that any unattached man could similarly raise his SMV? Or would that ruin it if you had to help open some guy's mind to his better nature?

So, where to find a husband....

Make yourself a list of all the traits you'd like your ideal husband to have. Done? Good.

Step one: Take a good look at that list. Really look at it. What kind of wife do you think a man like that would like to have?

Step two: Become that woman. In other words, MAP. This book will help. Become the best version of you that you can be.

Step three: Hang out in places you'd like your future husband to hang out. The grocery store, libraries, museums, the gym, farmer's markets and such tend to be good places to start.

Step four: Make eyes at your future husband. If he's Alpha, he'll take care of the rest.

No problem!

It's a book. I got my copy on amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting/dp/0743217896/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409767508&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=the+surrended+single

I would say once would be enough as long as you are very clear in the way that you communicate. That being said, if he is the one bringing it up you could certainly talk about it more.

He also needs to know that if he asked you, you would say yes. Not that you have to say that outright, but again, he will know by the way you treat him.

Perhaps more experienced (i.e. married) ladies would have a different perspective?

I think it's also about holding firm boundaries. If you say, for example, that you don't want to live together before marriage, then don't agree to live together thinking it will get you what you want. To me, that's where the manipulative behavior comes in.

The right captain cares about your happiness and your desires. I think your job is just to make your desires clear and then he can decide if that is something he is able to do and wants to do.

Seriously, the book is really great. I highly recommend it!

Partially at best, in my opinion. Yes, being skilled at making a man feel good -- through sex, respect, etc. -- is useful for sustaining a relationship.

But my model for pair bonding is that a person becomes bonded when they give, not when they receive.

The world is full of women who gave and gave and gave, become tightly pair bonded to their partner, only to have their hearts broken when they learn their partner hasn't developed the same feelings.

And the world is full of men who do their submissive best to be giving to women, developing strong and unreciprocated attachments. Bitter "friend zoned" guys really have developed emotional attachments to women who have never shown them any romantic interest.

So my recommendation for women is to ask for a lot of investment and attention from their partners, while rewarding that investment with good feelings. That maximizes the chance that the partner will pairbond while offering a fair and mutually beneficial trade in return. Investing without your partner reciprocating will likely just get you hurt. Asking for his investment without reciprocating with good feelings will create resentment on his part.

If you want to know more about the strategy of asking for -- insisting on, really -- male investment, The Rules is worth a read. The exact strategies it proposes are controversial, but I would definitely recommend it to jog your thinking.

See also the Ben Franklin effect.

The biggest thing you need to do for yourself right now is begin to lose the weight. Learn how to eat healthily and begin to workout. Fat head and Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (which streams on Netflix) were excellent starting places learning about food for me. Then hopping on the internet to do my own research.

As for working out, Bodybuilding.com has a plethora of information. When you get on there, DO NOT LOOK AT THE WOMEN AND GET DEPRESSED. That won't get you anywhere and you will change nothing. Look at those women as pure potential in yourself. Start changing the way you think about things like this right now. Changing the way you think is going to be the biggest and best thing for your self and it's going to apply across the board.

Grow out your hair.

Find a girly style that you are comfortable with. Personally, I love Modcloth.

Learn to cook. Get it out of your head right now that it is at all difficult. It's not. The reason people find it difficult is because they think it's difficult. Here's and incredibly easy recipe that takes minutes. What do you want to learn to cook?

House cleaning. This is an excellent book on the matter.

Hobbies. Look for something that you like to do. Knitting, sewing, crocheting are all great. But do they interest you? If they don't, don't force yourself to do them because you think you should. It won't stick and a man will think you strange. What interests you? Don't search for traditionally feminine pursuits if there is nothing there that piques you. Find what you love and try to do it in a feminine way.

Stand up straight. Really. Small but huge.

Smile. Often. At everyone. Even heavy, people will notice a happy and pleasant woman. Your attitude means everything.

Be friendly.

Don't sleep around.

Start with these. As you begin with the big things, you'll begin to delve deeper into the nuances. But you have to work with the big before you can work further. DON"T BEAT YOURSELF UP. You. Will. Fail. It's just part of the process. Even the women doing this for years, we still fail. It's not the set back that makes it awful. Awful would be giving up because you made a mistake.

Read. Read. Read. Here and the sites on the side bar. Once you've done that, come back here and ask questions. We'd love to help.

I married at 18 and have been married for 10 years.

Your husband sounds beaten down and depressed. Besides the obvious good diet, plenty of sleep, sunshine, etc be mindful that he is going through a lot. It's really hard living with a person like this and it's really hard being this person. Just keep trying to show that you love him and support him.

Femininity attracts masculinity. Submission attracts dominance. The best way to help him become this person is to make space for him to become this person and make him want to be this person.

> I know part of the problem is that he feels emasculated and unappreciated at his job.

Make sure he feels masculine and appreciated at home. Thank him a lot. Not just verbally. Show your gratitude for all that he does for you.

I suggest reading the MMSL Primer and The Surrendered Wife

I'm going to go ahead and try to post this one more time.

Give him a copy of this http://www.amazon.com/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420726216&sr=8-1&keywords=Married+man+sex+life+primer

Then make damn sure he reads it. You're a guy, so if you go to him and tell him frankly that the relationship is in danger and the sense of comfort he has created is smothering the passion, it's going to mean more coming from you than it will coming from your sister (or pretty much any woman).

MMSL is the best book I've read on balancing alpha traits and beta traits to maintain a relationship's stability and closeness while also maintaining desire and carnal attraction.

Caveat: As your sister's boyfriend steps his game up, his SMV runs the risk of getting to the point where he may be able to pull better women than your sister. Tread cautiously, make sure she's ready to keep improving herself too.

A few that make the rounds of recommendation pretty frequently are:
The Surrendered Single, by Laura Doyle
The Surrendered Wife, by Laura Doyle
Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin
I'm also personally drawn to books about social etiquette, and quite enjoy Eleanor Roosevelt's Book of Common Sense Etiquette, as well as the classic wisdom of Emily Post.
Oh! I also see Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus mentioned quite frequently, though it hasn't climbed to the top of my reading list just yet.


Disclaimer I haven't read the 19th edition of Emily Post's Etiquette, so I can't endorse that specific work, but it was written by her great-great-granddaughter Lizzie, who does her best to carry on the matriarch's wisdom.

I will definitely add Candace's book to my reading list. Gabrielle Reece has a book too :)

Interestingly, people on twitter were giving Ayesha Curry negative feedback for her dressing modestly to "save the goods for her husband." It's hilarious that it had clearly offended some people hahaha

Tell her that she doesn't have to agree with everything in it, even the title, but this book for single women has a lot of positive reviews and could help her out. If I was going to try to help out some woman who was single and looking, the first thing I'd do is recommend this book or some of the advice in it.

https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Single-Practical-Attracting-Marrying-ebook/dp/B002XXGIJ4

Deciem has a range of products that aren't quite makeup, but sorta are: http://deciem.com/category/skincare/finishers (Find them on Facebook to ask them the differences if you're confused.)

Also grab a Vitamin C serum. I've been using Vitamin C daily now and my complexion is a lot brighter and even. I've had people ask if I'm wearing makeup. I hear really good things about Timeless though I use Indeed's C24. (Indeed also has a blurring product too.)

And of course, top everything off with sunscreen.

Have you read the Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle? If not, I highly suggest you read it ASAP. I can’t recommend it enough! Best of luck! :)
https://www.amazon.com/Surrendered-Wife-Practical-Finding-Intimacy/dp/0743204441/ref=nodl_

I've found Fascinating Womanhood to be very helpful. I've been reading it casually over the past few weeks, and so far I've seen a lot of improvements in my relationship. It's definitely worth checking out.

https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Absent-Mother-Self-Healing-Getting/dp/1615190287

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no judgements, you can also make a list of self care regimens that you do throughout the week to keep you stimulated and less interested in them

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xoxo

Hi!! I HIGHLY recommend The Surrendered Single. The author, Laura Doyle, is hugely popular in this sub. She gives incredibly insightful and actionable advice for single, RP ladies. This book changed my life and I can't recommend it enough to single RPWs looking for their captains.

• You're allowed to throw used batteries directly in the garbage in fact that's the suggested way to dispose of them.
  
• Cooking Oil
  
  • Keep a jar under the sink to pour into.
    
• Learn every tool in your house. Go through his tool box (with permission) and google each thing, learn how to use it. Make yourself self-sufficient. Pretend every new thing you encounter is a Rubix cube, sure it's daunting and confusing at first, but 100% solvable if you just take the time to figure it out. Hell, learn how to caulk a window for fun.
  
• THE DOG OUTSIDE? That's not clumsy, that's ignorant and careless. That's unacceptable. That's LIVING, DEPENDANT CREATURE. You need to just reassess everything about your morals on this one. Also, this is the ONLY thing (aside maybe the shared cutting board) he can be rightfully upset about.
  
• Learn to sew, start small, youtubers have easy stuff, start with a bandana and keep building up, learn basic stitches. Lots of different ways to fold a towel so I'd suggest learning your boyfriend's preferred method since he seems miffed about how it's done. That being said, lots of youtube videos.
  
• Always wash your hands, like as many times as day as you can, before food, inbetween raw and fresh food
  
  • (I have a separate cutting board for meat only, it's plastic not wood so it won't store as much bacteria)
    
    Buy this book: https://www.amazon.ca/Life-Skills-101-Practical-Leaving/dp/0970133421
    
    This all really comes down to you making a bunch of excuses and not TRYING. Sounds like when you're single, you do just fine figuring things out, but when you're with someone else it's like your brain shuts off.
    
    And he seems really controlling and unreasonable. Like the batteries thing he's completely wrong about, what you were doing is fine, and seriously? Micromanaging how a towel is folded? Petty. He's not king of "THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY" He's not your mother, she was wrong too. He shouldn't be undermining you every corner. Very disrespectful.
    
    I agree with therapy to re-build your confidence and backbone. You probably have a really hard time telling the difference between what someone thinks is the "Right way" and what actually can be the "right way". Sounds like your mother V2.
    
    He also irritated me that ONLY ONCE he was a lower-tier dude, did he think you were good enough. That sounds like he settled for you, and that would worry me about his potential thoughts in the future.

I think there might be some books out there by women orbiting the manosphere, but I don't know any. The Surrendered Wife is a good book to read, and she also has The Surrendered Single.

Good for religiously using sun screen, if you are surfing. When I was younger, people didn't. We would use that Tropicana coconut oil instead of sunscreen. I didn't surf, but I used to bake myself in the water and at the beach. Now, I've had multiple basal cell carcinomas cut from me and I probably have more wrinkles than I should. I also used to look very young for my age, and it kills me now to know that I still could, except that I have more wrinkles!

You should be using zinc oxide based sunscreen on your face. It comes invisible now, although it is kind of cute to use the colors on the apples of your cheeks and nose, if you want. Please use a rashguard to protect your arms and chest from cancer!!

I've just recently started using argon oil on my face at night, and it has been the best thing I've done for my skin in a long, long time. I've also just started to use this in the morning: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0036BI56G/ref=oh_details_o03_s00_i00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Also check out the Rules Book, I'd recommend it

https://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446618799

We read this versionFascinating Womanhood

It was the final chapter and it extensively carried on about virginity. I wouldn’t mind having a copy of the original version. I’ll have to look into finding one.

The Rules is by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schnieder: http://www.amazon.com/All-Rules-Time-tested-Secrets-Capturing/dp/0446618799

Here's a low-quality scan of the book https://www.scribd.com/doc/195571788/Ellen-Fein-The-Rules