(Part 2) Best products from r/Stoicism

In a very constructive way. Before Stoicism, for me, there wasn't a difference between indulging in short-term consumerism and long-term fulfillment. I thought one leads to the other. In short, I wasn't aware of the difference between pleasure and happiness. I wasn't aware of the fact that spending hours playing video games or watching series could be harmful. But Stoicism pointed out that we need to refrain from making ourselves dependent on the external things, the things we cannot control, i.e. we should refrain from becoming slaves of our own cravings. Temperance, as always, is the keyword: Satisfy the desire, no more, no less. And whenever what you are doing right now hinders you from leading a virtuous life, refrain from doing so.

>"If you are struck by the appearance of any promised pleasure, guard yourself against being hurried away by it; but let the affair wait your leisure, and procure yourself some delay. Then bring to your mind both points of time: that in which you will enjoy the pleasure, and that in which you will repent and reproach yourself after you have enjoyed it; and set before you, in opposition to these, how you will be glad and applaud yourself if you abstain."

>-Epictetus, Enchiridion, XXXIV

 

>"He who is making progress, having learned from philosophers that desire means the desire of good things, and aversion means aversion from bad things; having learned too that happiness and tranquillity are not attainable by man otherwise than by not failing to obtain what he desires, and not falling into that which he would avoid; such a man takes from himself desire altogether and defers it, but he employs his aversion only on things which are dependent on his will. For if he attempts to avoid anything independent of his will, he knows that
sometimes he will fall in with something which he wishes to avoid, and he will be unhappy. Now if virtue promises good fortune and tranquillity and happiness, certainly also the progress toward virtue is progress toward each of these things."

>-Epictetus, Enchiridion, IV

For Epictetus, happiness is accepting that we cannot control outside forces, but the only thing we have control over - our own decisions. (Discipline of desire)
Happiness requires freedom from passions (destructive emotions). Pleasure is a preferred indifference, it is to be selected but not sought. Act out on it in moderation. If you become subject to your own desires, you become a slave and thereby a vicious individual: You are enslaved by your passions.

Pleasure is short lived (instant gratification), happiness is long lived (delayed gratification). Pleasure can be achieved by using substances, happiness cannot. Pleasure causes craving ("I want more"), happiness causes contentment ("I have enough"). Pleasure is visceral, happiness is ethereal. Pleasure is typically experienced alone (sensory stimuli), happiness is typically experienced in social groups (bonding).

(This last paragraph is from a summary of the book: The Hacking of the American Mind).

I do think Virtue is the highest good, and living with virtue in accordance with your nature is everything you should strive for. But the Stoics are pretty clear in their writings that the intended consequence of living Stoically is to reach a sense of fulfillment, flourishing, or however you want to translate "Eudaimonia" through living with virtue. So if you're unhappy and anxious, then you're not using all the Stoic tools available to you to overcome this. And that's fine! That's not an admonishment of you or your Stoic skillset - there has never been and never will be a Stoic Sage, it's natural for us to trip and tumble on this journey! What's important is that we get back up and keep working towards our ideal. If you read Meditations and Seneca's Letters, you know they both make references to the study of this philosophy being like wrestlers and boxers who get up over and over again no matter how many times they've been punched and kicked and defeated - and that's us now, against our opponent, Fortune. So don't despair that your life hasn't suddenly improved on Stoicism, your entire life is your Stoic journey - and small steps are still progress.

First you should always remember that "ruin and recovery come from within." You are so powerful in regards to yourself / your mind, and you just have to remember that at every turn - I have the power to change, I have the power to appropriately judge this impression, I have the power to set my goals appropriately!

And that last part (about setting goals appropriately) is essentially why I felt the need to comment, because if you feel your dreams are crumbling around you, then you're not setting your goals according to Stoic principles, and if you're not setting your goals appropriately, then you're not applying the Stoic Fork appropriately.

You should break down every situation into its individual parts, then separate them between things you can control and things you cannot. Let's take a job interview as an example: You want them to like you, you want the interview to go well, you want to get the job. None of those are entirely up to you! So switch them around, look at them differently. Set your goals thusly: "I will try my best, if nothing stops me, to be a likable person in this interview. I will do my best, as long as nothing prevents me, to give compelling answers to their questions and give the best interview I can." And the last part of the goal: getting the job? ENTIRELY out of your control if you think about it - they will be making that decision, not you, so why are you concerned with something outside your sphere of control? You should be focused only on things you can control. These two techniques are called goal internalization and the reserve clause.

On top of that, are you spending time on morning and evening meditations? I'm not talking about mindfulness meditation (although I do love it), I'm talking about the meditations recommended by the Stoics.
In the morning, visualize how your day will go, how you will interact with disagreeable people, how you will react to common disturbances in your life (traffic, horrible boss, lazy coworkers, etc.), and perhaps even bigger disturbances if you have time. Then end that meditation with applying the Stoic Fork "these things are not in my control, only my impressions and my (re)actions are in my control."
In the evening, review your day and ask yourself "What did I do well today? Where did I falter? Where could I have done better and how?" A lot of people say journaling this helps, I'm sure it does. I just do it all in my mind though right as I wake up and just as I'm falling asleep - it takes 5-10 minutes each time, and it's easy. I think it will vastly improve your situation.

And I don't think you should "let go of [your] hopes" - that's not what Stoicism tells you to do. Yes, you should control your desires and set appropriate goals for life, but you are allowed to prefer things in life. The key is not to let your happiness or fulfillment hinge solely on those things. For example, while it's natural that you should desire good health, you shouldn't let the loss of your health defeat you if it ever does happen. Health and many other things are preferred indifferents.

I'd also highly recommend reading Epictetus' Discourses - you will probably get a lot out of it.
What translation of Seneca's Letters did you read? I highly recommend this one, it's super easy to read and flows so smoothly. Perhaps if you were reading the older translations, some of it didn't come across so well - I certainly struggle through the older translations myself. That book is expensive, but perhaps your local library would have it...or it is possible to find it online...

Most importantly, and I know you know this, although if you're anything like me you also forget about it sometimes - reading a book isn't going to help you. Studying it and practicing what it teaches will. Since I started Stoicism, I've actually been compiling all my favorite quotes and explanations into a book for myself, because it helps me keep it all straight. You need to think of Stoicism like seriously religious people think about their religions - you can't just read the bible or qur'an or Torah once and call yourself a follower - it's about reading them, studying, finding analyses of them, studying them in depth, seeing what other scholars are saying about it, and then actually practicing it. And the Stoics knew this, it's why they recommend using maxims so heavily - having these short little phrases that stick in the brain so you can think of them right away and remind yourself "I need to be practicing this...I can do better..." So next time you read any Stoic literature, write down some short phrases that are easy to remember and recall, and memorize them, study them, get the true meaning behind them, and I think this will help Stoicism become a more ingrained way of life for you!

(continued)

>Are there any areas where you feel CBT or Hypnotherapy have significantly added to or expanded the ideas and techniques of Stoicism?

Yes. This is such a vast issue that it would take a very long time to answer this question properly, so I'll try to just make some brief comments. Modern psychological therapies are diverse and continually expanding, there are hundreds of books on CBT alone, so that in itself means there's always more and more scope for new comparisons with Stoicism. The Philosophy of CBT describes many points of comparisons between Stoicism and CBT, REBT, and hypnotherapy. In all of those areas, modern approaches and Stoicism offer different but perhaps complementary perspectives, and practical techniques. CBT practitioners certainly don't just "do Stoicism" with their clients, they use a vast array of different concepts and strategies, most of which would be of interest to Stoics. One difference is that CBT tends to focus on clinically-severe problems, diagnosable mental health disorders, which naturally leads to a different emphasis from ancient Stoicism. However, there's now more interest in applying CBT to "resilience-building", improving the overall wellbeing and resistance to stress of the normal population, and that's an area where the aims coincide more closely with the focus on traditional Stoicism. Stoicism has a fairly limited repertoire of practical techniques, which modern therapy has vastly expanded. We also have a fairly incomplete picture of Stoicism, unfortunately - only a tiny fraction of the ancient Stoic literature has survived. There was obviously a lot more to Stoicism than we know about. Chrysippus was one of the most prolific authors in the ancient world and yet virtually nothing of his remains. We could draw a huge list of CBT techniques that would be relevant to Stoicism but it would take time to explain them all. You probably want one or two examples, though, so here goes:

• Imaginal exposure. The discussion of premeditatio malorum ("negative visualization") by William Irvine and others seems very simplistic to a modern therapist and very lacking in terms of links to current research on similar techniques. The most robust finding in the field of psychotherapy, in this regard, is that anxiety (and sometimes other feelings) tend to "habituate" or naturally wear off during repeated, prolonged, systematic exposure to the stimulus (when certain factors are controlled). Clearly, if the Stoics repeatedly visualized misfortune one of the things modern psychology tells us is that their level of anxiety will tend to naturally abate, whether or not they directly attempt to challenge their thinking - and in some cases too much verbal rumination might actually prevent the natural process of habituation from happening. So most anxiety specialists would probably advise Stoics to learn a bit more about that process in order to engage in premeditatio malorum, and that the procedure should probably be prolonged beyond the point at which most people would normally stop, i.e., for about 15-30 minutes per sitting, or until anxiety has reduced by at least 50%, in order for lasting habituation to occur.
  
  
• Worry/rumination. In recent years there's been growing interest in the notion that traditional CBT may have placed too much emphasis on disputing the content of negative thoughts and not enough on managing the whole process of thinking, particularly learning to stop and interrupt prolonged episodes of worry (chains of thoughts about future catastrophes) or rumination (chains of thoughts analyzing past events). I'm sure the ancient Stoics make many passing comments that suggest they were "against" disputation or self-analysis being allowed to turn into prolonged worry/rumination. However, they don't give very clear and explicit advice on spotting and interrupting chains of thinking, which is perhaps a particular problem, an "occupational hazard", for philosophers! Again, tricky to be concise here, but learning to spot typical early-warning signs of worry/rumination spirals and then practicing postponing further thinking until a pre-specified time of your choosing is a common behavioural strategy (called the "stimulus control" method) for managing worry/rumination - although there are now many other methods being used for these issues.
  
  
• Learning to gain "psychological distance" (or "defusion") from thoughts rather than engaging in disputation of them seems particularly important in this area, something hinted at in the Handbook of Epictetus but not often brought up in discussions of Stoicism because it's a concept most philosophical commentators don't seem to be familiar with, although it's very important in modern CBT and behaviour therapy. Epictetus appears to say that the Stoic should spot disturbing thoughts and remind himself that they are mere appearances before attempting to dispute them. There's now some evidence to suggest that "cognitive distancing" (or "defusion") may be more powerful than previously assumed and perhaps more important in many instances than trying to question the evidence for thoughts or beliefs. There are lots of studies in this area now and we're learning more all the time about the factors that are relevant and the value of different techniques of distancing thoughts from reality.
  
  > What, if any, practices of Stoic life do you feel should be added to the general practice of CBT, to enhance its effectiveness?
  
  Good question. I'd have to start by explicitly saying that this is speculative and that I wouldn't recommend introducing treatment components to CBT in clinical practice until they've been tested. (Although, incorporating some Stoicism might often just mean making the sort of slight "tweaks" to established techniques, which nobody would think it's necessary to run a clinical trial before doing.) Some suggestions?
  
  
• Values clarification is absolutely integral to Stoicism, i.e., contemplating the nature of the good and acting with virtue. This wasn't really part of CBT, although something similar is now very central to Positive Psychology and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which both evolve out of CBT. Being clear about what you value most in life and trying to act more often in the service of your values (or the virtues) is something that seems to mitigate against and depression and possibly generalized anxiety. It seems to me that expanding this aspect of CBT raises some of the best opportunities for explicit dialogue with philosophers, particularly Stoics. (See my book Build your Resilience for a detailed discussion of values work in behaviour therapy, with links to Stoicism.)
  
  
• Distinguishing between things under your control and things not, which I would call "control appraisal". Obviously that's fundamental to Stoicism; Shaftesbury even calls it the "sovereign" precept of Stoicism. There are traces of it in CBT, especially in a recent protocol (Dugas' method) for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) but we could probably develop that concept and techniques derived from it much further in certain forms of CBT.
  
  
• The "view from above", as Hadot calls it, isn't a common strategy in Stoicism. It's not clear how it would function in terms of CBT theory but it's a very popular meditation and I think it deserves to be studied more systematically. It can be done simply by listening to recording, which is "gold dust" in therapy because it makes it extremely easy for clients to do it for ten minutes or so each day, with minimal training or preparation. (It also makes it much easier to do research on a technique if it can be administered with a standard recording: there's a complete script for this at the back of The Philosophy of CBT.) I've used this technique with hundreds of people over the years and almost everyone reports a sense of serenity that comes from it, and a shift in perspective. Technically, it may contribute to "cognitive distancing" but we need to be careful it's not misused as a form of "experiential avoidance", or a way to avoid confronting unpleasant thoughts and feelings.
  
  Moreover, there are lots of aspects of Stoicism beyond "technique" that add something of value, as I tried to emphasize in the introduction to Philosophy of CBT. The beautiful literature, the broad philosophical perspective, the sense of community with fellow Stoics - are all important things we don't really get from CBT.
  
  (continued)

Great question. I think finding stoic thoughts/words to share at funerals would be easier than for weddings - although the audience at a funeral might not be very receptive, at least at first!

Cynthia King's translation of Musonius Rufus's lectures and sayings includes good stuff about marriage in Lectures 13 and 14. A few quotes:

> In marriage there must be, above all, companionship and care of husband and wife for each other, both in sickness and in health and on every occasion. Each party entering into a marriage desires this, after all, just as they desire children. When this mutual care is complete and those who live together provide it to each other completely, each competes to surpass the other in giving such care. Such a marriage is admirable and deserves emulation; such a partnership is beautiful.... Neither wealth nor beauty nor noble birth have been able to increase a sense of partnership, let alone increase harmony; nor do they aid in the creation of children.... Souls that are naturally disposed towards self-control and justice - in a word, towards virtue - are obviously most suitable for marriage. Could a marriage be good without harmony? Could such a union be noble? Could wicked people be in harmony with each other? Could a good person be in harmony with a bad one? This could not happen, [as] a crooked piece of wood could not fit together with another crooked piece, and would fit even worse with its opposite, a straight piece.

To conorohiggins's excellent points, I would only tweak the third item on the list: that as a good spouse, I would aim to "give" to my partner my own virtue / arete / excellence of character, as a gift without expected reciprocation, in addition to trying to help my partner develop his/her own virtue.

edit: link format

First of all, I want to say that it speaks very well of you that you are looking to use your time in prison to your advantage. Most people would see this as a catastrophe, but you see it as an opportunity. If you want to make this a full-time, in-depth study, this is the plan I recommend.

I would first start with a good introduction to the entire Stoic system. A great one is Stoicism by John Sellars.

Then I would start reading the source material. We are fortunate enough to have the lectures of one of the great teachers of Stoicism, Epictetus. I would go with Epictetus - Discourses, Fragments, Handbook translated by Robin Hard.

After reading Epictetus, you can move on to Marcus Aurelius, who was directly influenced by the Discourses. Robin Hard has also done a translation of the Meditations.

To fully appreciate the Meditations (and to better appreciate Epictetus), next read The Inner Citadel by Pierre Hadot. This is an incredible analysis of the Meditations which explains Epictetus' influence on Marcus Aurelius and his work.

Finally, you must of course read Seneca. Two good sources are this book of his essays and this book of his letters.

Between the footnotes in these translations and the detail given by Sellars and Hadot, you won't need Wikipedia to get clarification on any points. You'll have the expert knowledge in your hands.

I don't think it's necessary to read one of the modern how-to type books before you begin reading these, but if you think it would help to read something lighter first to become acquainted with the core concepts ahead of time, I recommend Stoicism and the Art of Happiness by Donald Robertson.

There are other sources, such as Musonius Rufus and Cicero, but these are the three most people start with and the three that I recommend first. You can look at the FAQ for more ideas if you'd like.

Find out how many books you are allowed to have at one time, as this may be an issue in prison.

As others have said, it's a very good idea to keep a journal of your thoughts, both on what you are reading and how you relate what you are reading to your life.

These excerpts are from probably the best Musonius Rufus translation, there are a bunch more, including how he ties marriage and relationships into Stoic philanthropy, but I can only type so much ;-):

> Would not a woman who studies philosophy be just? Would she not be a blameless partner in life, a good co-worker and likeminded one, a careful guardian of husband and children, entirely free from the love of gain or grasping for too much?


> Husband and wife should come together for the following reasons: to live with each other, to have children, and to consider all things as common possessions and nothing as private--not even the body itself.


> In marriage there must be, above all, companionship and care of the husband and wife for each other, both in sickness and in health and on every occasion. Each party entering a marriage desires this, after all, just as they desire children. When this mutual care is complete and those who live together provide it to each other completely, each compete to surpass the other in giving such care. Such a marriage is admirable and deserves emulation; such a partnership is beautiful.

I would personally start with the William Irvine book:

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy https://www.amazon.com/dp/0195374614/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YduuDbEW3T11Z

I don’t necessarily agree with him on everything in the book, but it gives a good view of stoicism. It’s easier to read since its in modern English.

I would also recommend “The Daily Stoic.”

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01HNJIJB2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_IguuDbHAQG82S

It is a good book that you can get into if you only have brief periods of time to read. Ryan Holiday books are all pretty good. He mostly uses stoicism in his books, but also a little from other philosophies.

The reason I would start with these books is because the language is a little easier to understand, unless you are used to reading older English. Though “Meditations” does have pretty good translations.

I work in the marketing industry and every attempt I've seen to make something "viral" or "big" has always failed miserably. If you think about it, this is not how news is made. In reality, the idea of ​​publicizing something suddenly changes too often, too quickly into an imposition that never arouses interest but rejection and makes one look like a religious preacher.

​

The best example of how stoicism can regain attention are Ryan Holiday's works "The Obstacle Is the Way," "Ego Is the Enemy," and soon "Stillness Is the Key." As he describes in his book on marketing called "Perennial Seller" (I can highly recommend this book to anyone who can't get the question of this discussion out of his head) and his first podcast interview at the Tim Ferriss Show, no one ever wakes up in the middle of the night sweating and thinks: "I desperately need a 2000-year-old philosophy from the antiquity," but people can't fall to sleep in the evening, because of the thought: "I need a solution to my problems very quickly." That's why Ryan wrote a practical book with concrete lessons & advice and not a systemic essay on the philosophical "school" of the Stoics.

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It is said that stoicism is not the philosophy of the retired monk, but that of the worker in the marketplace; a person who wants to create things and pushes forward what concerns. At such places, Stoicism is really "taught". It's a practical philosophy which should be lived and shown by example in the work you do. And maybe after the work is done, you drink a beer with your colleagues and if the situation presents itself you tell them about the philosophy you're currently studying. This is how it reached popularity from the beginning, and it is how its representatives said how it was meant to be taught.

In the everyday business of the agency in which I work, topics related to stoicism often come up, as it does in any real workplace. If it seems helpful in solving the problem of the client, I give advice that I have learned while studying the Stoics, sometimes I even quote them. For me, these are the moments when philosophy comes alive and really leaves a lasting impression on people.

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What of course can happen then is that someone can be a stoic, but he does not know it, because he is more busy acting righteously than wondering what his lifestyle could be called. This leads to the fact that Stoicism is less proclaimed. But this is what distinguishes this school of thought from so many others and makes me appreciate it so much: the primary focus of it, is that ist LIVED more than talked.

If I were to be given the choice of whether everyone in the world should know what Stoicism is or whether everyone should act like a Stoic, I would always choose the latter.

​

I trust that the things beyond my control, such as my fellow men understanding that philosophical action is the groundwork of a good life, will fall into places. And in my opinion, there already have been "successes", if you want to call them like that:

Ryan's practical books on stoicism have sold hundreds of thousands of copies.

Here in Germany, the author Ferdinand von Schirach, who is currently being hold up as the most important writer in the country, quotes in his current work "Kaffee & Zigaretten" (English: "Coffee & Cigarets", not translated yet), which until last week was #1 on the Spiegel Bestsellerliste, Epictetus, provides background information to the life of the philosopher and tells of his first encounter with the "Enchiridion." In another work, he writes: "Marcus Aurelius says that the purpose of life is right action, and the secret of life is life itself. I doubt that a man can know more than that, for me this is all."

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So in response to the question of this discussion, I would say that we should diligently fulfill our duties, do what needs to be done, and tackle the issues that are affecting us. In solving them, the teaching of the Stoics will show through by righteous action, inspire people and thus spread by itself.

• Meditations: Either get the one by Gregory Hays or Robin Hard. I have both. Hays uses more modern English and is easier to understand, but he can be pretty liberal with his translation. Hard is a little more straight laced in his translation it seems but still uses pretty modern English. Also the Hard translation contains Letter from Marcus to his Rhetoric teacher Fronto which are cool to read. Other versions of Meditations do not have this in them afaik.
  
• Epictetus, Enchiridion + Discourses: Epictetus's Discourses, Fragments, Handbook by Robin Hard. Best translation of Epictetus I have found ( I like more modern English). Lots of good footnotes in this one.
  
• Seneca's Letters: Either Letters from a Stoic to get a taste of what Seneca is like, or go all the way in and get Letters on Ethics which contains all 124 letters to Lucillius. Hardcover book is awesome, high quality, great foot notes throughout.
  
• Seneca's Moral Essays: There are a bunch of these, I haven't found a favorite translation yet. If you only read one, read On the Shortness of Life

Instead of giving you advice, I have the perfect book recommendation that will come pretty close to directly answering your question. I read this years ago, but only just found it again and am giving it another read through.

The book is called 'So good they can't ignore you: why skills trump passion in the quest for work you love' by Cal Newport.

The author actually has a computer science degree funnily enough. In it he uses empirical evidence to argue that the common advice of 'follow your passion' is flawed and unrealistic, and generally bad advice. After arguing that he puts forward his arguments about what the best course of action is if you discount the passion hypothesis. Its full of examples of people he interviewed who took different approaches to end up doing what they love, why some failed at it and why some didn't. I really can't recommend this book more highly actually, I think it will be perfect for you.

Here is the amazon link
https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You/dp/1455509124

I was actually referring to a book I've read a while ago: The Hacking of the American Mind by Robert Lustig. You can easily replace "American" with "Modern" in the title because it's message is broader than the US. The book talks about the differences between happiness and pleasure. It also talks about how we as a consumer are being promised happiness (1,
2,
3,
etc),
while in reality we can really only buy pleasure. It also goes into the key differences and how you can distinguish the two. The main takeaways are these:

• Pleasure is short lived (instant gratification), happiness is long lived;
  
• Pleasure can be achieved via substances, happiness cannot;
  
• Pleasure causes craving (I want more), happiness causes contentment (I have enough);
  
• Pleasure is visceral, happiness is ethereal;
  
• Pleasure is typically experienced alone (sensory stimuli), happiness is typically experienced in social groups (bonding).
  
  He points out that they are not necessarily mutually exclusive, albeit opposite in nature. In the book he also gives tips how to work towards happiness. I didn't agree with everything he wrote but overall it was a nice read.

The Philosophy of CBT is an interesting book, but I think it is of most interest to those versed in the CBT already and is a touch academic. Robertson's other book Build Your Resilience is a great practical introduction to some modern forms of CBT (the acceptance/mindfulness strand) with frequent comparisons to aspects of Stoicism, so I'd recommend that first.

CBT is useful in providing simple techniques to challenge and replace irrational patterns of thinking, such as examining cognitive distortions and cognitive restructuring. That aspect isn't covered so much in the Resilience book, but will be in any standard CBT book (however that link covers most of the ground). I think CBT is an especially useful tool in support of Stoic practice where there are engrained problems such as anxiety, because of its stepwise practical nature. However Stoic practices, including the simple ones in Irvine's book, are aiming beyond what CBT aims for; CBT helps lay groundwork but I don't think it overlaps well with the ideal of the "Stoic sage". CBT is more accepting of "normal" emotions in certain situations where the Stoics would have seen a "passion", or negative emotion.

There are some esoteric differences (you may find this article interesting, for instance), but I think the essentials of both philosophies sync up very well. As someone who shares your interest, a short read I would highly recommend is More Than Happiness: Buddhist and Stoic Wisdom for a Sceptical Age.

Just because someone is full of themselves doesn't mean you can't learn from them. And it's not tailored to exactly to being a college student but I found he goes out of his way to make the over-arching principles clear.

I'm a college student too in a field fairly similar to yours. I don't know if you're a big reader, but this is another great book that has a lot of research into people who get to the top of their fields versus people who stay mediocre. It was written by a guy who has a phd in comp sci from MIT and wrote a book while doing his dissertation: http://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You/dp/1455509124

Just a recommendation, best of luck with it.

I would also like to volunteer to being an external resource/pal. Please DM me.

As for reading, you can start with holiday right now. It is "pop"-y but a super easy read. After that Irvine, which is more legit stoicism.

After that, I've got some ideas for you.

Right before prison, consider "Thoughts of a philosophical fighter pilot", or perhaps right after. It is the story of an American POW in Vietnam for seven years. You will probably think "wow, I have it easy" - at least I hope so.

"Rome's Last Citizen" is the story of Cato and a great read.

When it comes time to study the ancients, I'm going to suggest the lectures of Musonius Rufus:

https://www.amazon.com/Musonius-Rufus-Lectures-Cynthia-King/dp/145645966X/

and seneca's selected dialogs:

https://www.amazon.com/Seneca-Selected-Dialogues-Consolations-Classics-ebook/dp/B00UCODE1G

I found those FAR more approachable than Marcus or Epectitus. But that's just me. Read those first, then read the popular ones. :-)

Next, I'd think about denying yourself BEFORE you get into prison, along with creating a diet and exercise program. Find out what they have in prison and feed yourself food for the next few months that is wholesome yet MORE bland and restrictive in variety.

Sleep on a sleeping bag on a board, with a pillow that is just a laundry bad with some clothes in it. Wear remarkably similar bland outfits each day. Find out what kind of strength training is available in prison, and begin a weight and cardio training program. I suggest stronglift 5x5. It is super easy.

Turn down your internet access - in fact, everything you will lose. Yes, fine, give yourself a cheat day once a week to appreciate what you have while you have it, and learn to appreciate a sunrise. The point is, get used to hardship while it is optional, so you won't have to get used to it when it is required. Your system will have ENOUGH jolts when you surrender. No need to give it more.

Let us know how it goes, at least before you report.

I think there are two parts to this aspect of personal improvement. One part is having the knowledge (which you have), and another part is putting it into practice (which you're struggling with).

Putting it into practice doesn't mean changing your whole attitude overnight. It literally means practice. In your day to day life, consciously remind yourself which things are most important and most valuable in a practical sense, and which things are of questionable/material value. Actually practice gratefulness for the things you have right now, and frequently remind yourself that your life in the present moment is adequate, and could be much worse, and that it's extremely unlikely any material thing will enhance it in a meaningful way.

It might get easier as you age, too. Personally, I've cared less and less about what other people think every year since I was ~22 (I'm 27 now), and that has made it easier to stop chasing status symbols.

I'd suggest doing some reading to help you learn some strategies you can employ daily that will change your perspective over time. A Guide to the Good Life helped me stay on track through a tough winter last year.

They are about equal for that. As are most translations. Take notes as you read. Mark sections that may be helpful. The ancients are the best source for Stoicism, but they did not write systematically, that is what modern books on Stoicism often do well.

 

In my opinion, [The Practicing Stoic] (https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Stoic-Philosophical-Users-Manual/dp/1567926118) does the best systematic breakdown of Stoic principles. As a comparison, I've read about 10 of the most popular modern Stoic books.

Don't think about a pink elephant.

Forget about the fact that your heart is beating.

Don't become aware that your nose is actually in your field of vision.

I'm sure that you failed miserably at all these tasks. Our minds work a bit paradoxically when it comes to influencing our thoughts. Much of what we experience as thought is merely what we are holding in our conscious awareness. Because of this, trying to 'not' have certain feelings or thoughts usually makes us have them even more frequently. Then as we become more frustrated and anxious these thoughts become a perpetual cycle of negativity and distress.

So, what are some practical solutions to this conundrum?

Well, like most issues concerning the mind, you cannot always tackle the problem head on. If the mind is a house then the front and back door are heavily locked, better to climb in through a window.

The best modern school of thought that I have found to offer practical solutions to these sort of problems is CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy. (Learning about this therapy actually led me to discovering Stoic philosophy I might add!). CBT, much like stoicism, suggests that much of our distress is the result of irrational thoughts and behaviors. It offers quite a few scientifically backed exercises and techniques for combating such troubling thoughts.

Here are a few quick CBT techniques that have helped me tremendously.

1. Reframe the way you understand thoughts. Although many people feel as though they are controlling their thoughts. Often times, what we may perceive as us having a 'thought' is simply something grabbing hold of our conscious awareness. With practice, you can begin to differentiate between the thoughts that are in your control and those that are simply popping in your head because of your current environment/context.
   
   
2. Learn to accept and detach from unwanted thoughts. Unwanted or 'Intrusive' thoughts will always be with you. Best to just accept that fact. As I'm sure you have experienced, struggling with trying to make such thoughts and emotions go away more often then not only makes them more intense and recur more frequently. When they do pop up, don't panic or try to make them go away. Instead, relabel them and allow them to be there. Just notice that you having thought 'x' and say to yourself, oh there's thought 'x'. With enough practice you will learn which thoughts are your most intrusive ones and it will become easier and easier to detach from them. By not reacting to these thoughts negatively and keeping yourself calm when they arise. You will begin to weaken the association between these thoughts and any negative emotions that may be coupled with them. Often such thoughts become coupled with negative emotions because we fight so desperately to try and make them go away. I believe that meditation is such a tremendous therapeutic tool because it is essentially the practice of learning to detach from your thoughts. So I would highly recommend giving meditation a shot to kick start learning to handle your thoughts better.
   
   
3. Refocus your mind on thoughts and behaviours that are more rational. This will also become much easier once you learn to detach and label your intrusive thoughts better. You will begin to realize over time that just because a negative thought is present, does not mean that it represents reality. It only means that the thought is present in your mind, nothing more or less. By refocusing our attention after accepting intrusive thoughts, we shift our conscious awareness from these thoughts and lessen their chances of recurrence. While you couldn't stop yourself from thinking about the pink elephant, I bet you forgot about him by the time you were looking at your nose!
   
   Whew, hope that helps. If your interested in learning more about using CBT for everyday life I highly recommend picking up a copy of The Happiness Trap
   
   TLDR; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is fucking awesome!

I would highly recommend starting with Epictetus and Socrates.

Stay away from the popular marketing stoics of our age, as they teach that stoicism is not about exalted truth and virtue, but that it is about lying to gain power, fame, fortune, and money. That is the exact OPPOSITE of True Stoicism and a sign of our times.

Many good recommendations here: http://twitter.com/philocowboy

"Instead of the lying marketing stoics and foolish professors, read Epictetus who honored Socrates: https://www.amazon.com/Discourses-Selected-Writings-Penguin-Classics/dp/0140449469/ "

Sure there are. But probably with a different name.

Zen Shorts are one. It's a series of books with short Zen stories and illustrations for kids:
https://www.amazon.com/Zen-Shorts-Caldecott-Honor-Book/dp/0439339111/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1486130149&sr=8-1&keywords=zen+shorts

Have You Filled a Bucket Today:
https://www.amazon.com/Have-Filled-Bucket-Today-Bucketfilling/dp/099609993X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1486129860&sr=1-3&keywords=fill+a+bucket
lets kids know that it feels bad to others to bully, but that you can "fill others' buckets" by giving compliments and saying nice things.

Heck, most kids can even understand The 4 Agreements: https://www.amazon.com/Four-Agreements-Practical-Personal-Freedom/dp/1878424319/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1486130060&sr=8-1&keywords=the+4+agreements

I'm sure there are quite a few others, but they are not coming to mind right now.

CBT is great, man. I think Stoicism can really help you, too.

This book talks about using philosophy as a way to deal with modern problems, and the first section is on Stoicism. There are some cool stories in there about people using Stoicism to overcome some really tough shit. I think it could be especially useful for you, because a few of the stories are about people letting go of their past and moving forward.

I run a blog that talks about using philosophy (especially Stoicism) and psychology to deal with the issues of modern life, too. It's called Understanding The Man. I've only got 4 articles up right now, but maybe one of them (or all of them) will help you out as well.

Congrats on your sobriety, dude. Here's to keeping it that way.

If you have any more questions -- ask away.

I thought The Obstacle Is the Way was a really good easy-to-read intro to Stoicism and I give it to people I know.

http://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1459132787&sr=8-1&keywords=obstacle+is+the+way

I got started with this version of The Art of Living and thought it was super clear and really easy to read. Everything else I've tried has been very hard, like you said.

http://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classical-Happiness-Effectiveness/dp/0061286052/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1459132869&sr=8-2&keywords=the+art+of+living

LOL! Well said. Here's a good book about Marcus Aurelius' thoughts on this. Funny enough, it's called "The Obstacle is the Way." Highly recommend it. :-)

Penguin Classics recently issued this handsome set of 4.5" x 6.9" hardbound editions that you might be interested in. It includes Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, and Letters from a Stoic by Seneca.

They are very handsome and compact. Great to throw in a bag for a subway or train ride. They even come with a sewn in satin bookmark.

While I haven't any "Stoic" advice to offer you yet, as I'm a beginner, I am a veteran when it comes to dealing with OCD and anxiety. I'm not being hyperbolic when I say, the following book saved my life. Please, get yourself a copy if you can't get professional help. It instructs you in the use of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, as well as mindfulness, to help you manage anxiety. https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501734358&sr=8-1&keywords=the+happiness+trap

The Four Agreements are as follows:

1. Be impeccable with your word.
   
   
2. Don't take anything personally.
   
   
3. Don't make assumptions.
   
   
4. Always do your best.
   
   They are from a very short book by Don Miguel Ruiz, and it's definitely worth a read.

If you get the chance, have a look at Massimo Pigluicci's new book, How to Be a Stoic.

It has a great section on the basis of morals and why virtue has an absolute definition. It would be worth a read for you.

I recently read and can recommend:
How to be a Stoic
by Massimo Pigluicci
https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Stoic-Ancient-Philosophy/dp/0465097952
It's a great introduction, easy to understand and there is a part with practical exercises.

The most popular by far are the ones by Gregory Hays and by Robin Hard, and which you will prefer depends on exactly what you are looking for. The English of the Hays translation is beautiful, but the translation has a reputation for being loose. (Edit 3: Even the Hard, though, is very readable.)

For more discussion, reviews, references to previous discussions, and a list of other translations, see this question in the FAQ.

Edit: The Amazon site is very sloppy about linking to different translations as if they were different formats of the same one. Be careful!

Edit 2: Added links to kindle versions, fixed edit 1 to correct that.

Edit 4: Of the many older, public domain (in the US) translations, I find Chrystal's revision of the Hutcheson and Moor translation most readable complete translation. (The abridgement by Smith is similarly readable.) All of the modern translations I have had a chance to look at were easier to read than even these, though..

The Daily Stoic sounds like what you're looking for but its not just Meditations it has things from Seneca, Marcus and Epictetus primarily.
I like the translations in it, very easy to comprehend.


https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Stoic-Meditations-Wisdom-Perseverance/dp/0735211736

I'd recommend "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine. You can skip part one if you're not interested in the history of it.

If you are prone to rumination self-administering therapy can make you feel even worse. It's possible to get caught in a feedback loop where you wonder if you are doing the therapy correctly, which only makes your problems worse. I know this because I did it myself. It wasn't until I started meditating on a routine basis that I was able to calm my mind down enough to apply what I was reading. Meditation will strengthen your ability to let go of things, build your focus, and lessen your propensity to react emotionally. If someone is going about this alone and the key goal is to ease suffering, then look into mindfulness and ACT. These are designed with that purpose in mind.


Mindfulness

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPlG_w40qOE
Presented by a Harvard Medical School Professor

ACT

An Introductory book on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

Meditation

IOS/Android app that will easily guide you through everything, it's a wonderful application

We often choose the complex explanation over the simple one, to our detriment. Everything I linked can be consumed quickly and used readily.

I agree with /u/emof - get a modern book that gives context. I like:

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

https://amazon.com/Daily-Stoic-Meditations-Wisdom-Perseverance/dp/0735211736

I'm glad it was helpful. I can't take all the credit, its my rendition from today's Daily Stoic Meditation which you can buy here

Definitely some good ones.

I’d also recommend ward farnsworth’s “the practicing stoic”


The Practicing Stoic: A Philosophical User's Manual https://www.amazon.com/dp/1567926118/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_vfvKDbQXCJK1Q

/u/ryan_holiday, who can be seen around /r/stoicism pretty regularily, has a great book called The Obstacle is the Way.

I think it's exactly what you're looking for. Short. Concise. A ton of great examples of overcoming tremendous adversity with grit.

Not sure about the book mentioned in this title, but a great read for new stoics is: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735.

I am currently reading the book below ...

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

I can highly recommend it.

I have given this out as a gift a few times and it brought my friends into Stoicism: https://www.amazon.com/Emperors-Handbook-New-Translation-Meditations/dp/0743233832

But, it's not an academic version. It's simple, everyday language.

I think Hays translation is good. https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Modern-Library-ebook/dp/B000FC1JAI/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1500040894&sr=1-2&keywords=hays+meditations+marcus+aurelius

If you are starting, I can recommend two more books for you:

1- https://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classical-Happiness-Effectiveness-ebook/dp/B00AHC9PZW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

2- https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Stoic-Meditations-Wisdom-Perseverance-ebook/dp/B01HNJIJB2/ref=pd_sim_351_6?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BXBTHXJMFXCSM4BJYT7X

Well done. At first I thought you were referencing this excellent book by Ryan Holiday.

That's the one I have. I'm happy with it, but at some point I'll pick up a copy of this
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Meditations-Penguin-Pocket-Hardbacks-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0141395869
which benefits from extensive notes (that's the version I've seen, I think there's a paperback version also with notes).

Have you considered the Robin Hard one? I like it better. The US Amazon has a Kindle copy, perhaps then the Canada one does to: http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-selected-correspondence-Oxford-Classics-ebook/dp/B006QV7YN8/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01HNJIJB2/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518225139&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=366+stoic+meditations

The journal that goes along with it is great too.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0525534393/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1518225180&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=366+stoic+meditations&dpPl=1&dpID=412-uER18tL&ref=plSrch

Apart from the wikisource translations, the only full translation of Seneca's letters is the University of Chicago Press Translation by Margaret Graver and A.A. Long (https://www.amazon.com/Letters-Ethics-Lucilius-Complete-Annaeus/dp/022626517X).

The book can be expensive but it is worth it, the most modern translation I believe. I'd highly recommend it.

The two best translations in my opinion are
Robin Hard & Gregory Hays.

I never finished it because I kept loaning it to people who kept keeping it, but I liked Emperor's Handbook (amazon)

I’m not 100% confident in my response as I’m trying to recall from memory ... I don’t have my books with me now.

The Enchiridion is just the handbook and really good summary of his Discourses. It is a book on its own. It is included in the Penguin classics addition of Discourses and selected writings: https://www.amazon.com/Discourses-Selected-Writings-Penguin-Classics/dp/0140449469/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=epictitus&qid=1551101547&s=gateway&sr=8-2

I will add too that if you are looking to buy this book, I would suggest you go with the Oxford World Classics edition. Penguin leaves out whole chapters in Discourses, while Oxford has all of them: https://www.amazon.com/Discourses-Fragments-Handbook-Oxford-Classics/dp/0199595186/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=epictitus&qid=1551101610&s=gateway&sr=8-4

Just finished The Obstacle Is The Way. Great book. https://www.amazon.com/Obstacle-Way-Timeless-Turning-Triumph/dp/1591846358

Looks like it’s intentional.

Meditations (A Penguin Classics Hardcover) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0141395869/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_rGetDbN3G75D7

They are from the book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz.

The speeches and fragments that survived are collected in this little book. I might be wrong, but I don't think there's more.

Check out Ryan Holidays "The Obstacle is the way" it come with many anectodes how stoic principles have been applied (http://www.amazon.com/The-Obstacle-Is-Way-Timeless/dp/1591846358)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0141395869/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1558772432&sr=8-1&utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app

Here you are:

Meditations

Letters from a Stoic

The Enchiridion

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735

Audio book is cheap.

Author: William B. Irvine

Daily Stoic, Day "January 12th" :P

https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Stoic-Meditations-Wisdom-Perseverance/dp/0735211736

The Emperor's Handbook: A New Translation of The Meditations https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743233832/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_G4JXCbDRYZH3W

If you’re looking for a fairly plain English version of the meditations, personally I would probably go with this. Enjoy

His lectures and fragments are here https://sites.google.com/site/thestoiclife/the_teachers/musonius-rufus and this book is available too https://www.amazon.com/Musonius-Rufus-Lectures-Cynthia-King/dp/145645966X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

This was my first book

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735

Why do you want to be more social? What do you want in life? Specifically. Write down the reasons, and write down everything you want for yourself - all the things you'd like to own, all the skills you'd like to have, all the people you'd like to meet, all the characteristics you wish you embodied.

Done? No, because you're an asshole. Go back and write them down. Seriously. I spent a fucking long time writing this post for you - I explain my point in several different ways, from different angles, because it's fucking important to me that you get the help you seek - you can take four minutes to write down some reasons. Open up your text editor and get to work, reddit will still be here when you get back. Don't get distracted. Do not trust your memory - write them down.

Okay. Look at those reasons. It's a list of things you want to be, do, and have. Ask yourself: Do you have the freedom to become, achieve and obtain those things, through your actions?

You were afraid to write some things. Maybe you thought "fuck a thousand people" was unrealistic. "Become emperor of my own country". "Go to space," "Own a castle," "Fly with the Blue Angels," "Be a real life James Bond," "Write a novel," "Be able to talk to anyone," "Start a religion," "Meet Daniel Craig." You're wrong, go back and write your "unrealistic" things down too. People have done them, you are physically capable of doing them. But are you free to do them?

Right now, you've decided to believe the answer is "no". If it were "yes", you wouldn't have posted, you would have just gone out and done them. Let's change that "no" to a "yes".

• Take this test. Write down your score somewhere you won't lose it.
  
  If this problem is the one you truly want to solve, you must focus your attention on it and let nothing distract you. All things which might get in the way of you solving your anxiety and inferiority problems must be ignored, including some of your own beliefs, and including some things like Netflix and Reddit you would rather be doing because they're comfortable and easy. This will be hard work. You will feel incredible after it is done, and it will be done soon if you work hard. Do not waste time. Only through discipline can you achieve freedom - if you are spending time looking at cat videos, understand that you are removing the freedom to spend that time elsewhere. You will not get that time back. It is forever chained to cat videos.
  
  
• Read this book. Pay particularly close attention to section IV.
  
• Take the test again. Compare scores.
  
  You must not fear. There is nothing on the other side of fear except failure. Failure of inaction is much, much worse than failure through action: you learn nothing when you do nothing. Make every attempt to socialize in every situation, even if it hurts, and even though you will fail many times. Experiment until you figure out, trust that you will figure it out.
  
  Optimism will not help you, neither will pessimism - if you believe things will work out okay no matter what, or that things will go to shit no matter what, you have resigned yourself to the whims of a random God and decided not to act. Only activism will help you - the belief that your actions will affect positive change on the outcome. This is true for all things you want in life, including "how do I make friends", "how do I start a business", "how do I become President", "how do I get a job," "how do I get an A in this class," and so on. Strengthen your belief that your success relies entirely on your actions. Strengthen your belief that you have the ability to make good decisions in the future. Strengthen your belief that the worst that could happen is something you can handle. Do not fear boredom, isolation or embarrassment if they are in service of your growth as a human being.
  
  
• Read this book. If it makes you feel shitty about yourself, that means I'm right and you need to read it all the way to the end, you will feel better later. Trust me and make the small sacrifice.
  
• Take the test again. Compare scores.
  
  Seneca recommended taking brief periods of time to deliberately live in rags and eat very little, to steel oneself against the fear of poverty. In our modern era we have developed many new fears, all of which can be eradicated in similar fashion. Fear of boredom. Fear of isolation. Fear of missing out. Fear of hunger, fear of gaining weight, fear of being unattractive, fear of looking dumb, inexperienced, uncool, fear of not being happy enough, not having enough interesting Facebook posts, and on and on. If you have these fears, face them. Physically write them down, then write down ways to mitigate or prevent them, and ways you could recover from them if they come to pass. Realize that these fears are controlling you and limiting your freedom.
  
  Then it comes time to face these fears. Go out and talk to people. Find people that know things you want to know, ask them questions. Find people that do things you want to do, admit your inexperience, and ask for their help. Offer them something in return, and get creative - "I'll <help you with your math homework / trade you a bag of chips / get you that girl's phone number / level up your WoW character> if you show me how you <do this problem / throw a perfect spiral / make those cookies>". Do this with as many people as you can find, do not worry about making friends with each one, do not worry if they make fun of you, do not worry if they hate you - the goal is quantity. Learn from your mistakes, learn from your successes. Every time you fail to take the action - going to a meetup, going to a party, talking to a stranger, joining a group activity - you are restricting your own freedom.
  
  Understand: you are on your own. You can build yourself to do and be anything you want, it is up to the rest of the world to try and stop you, and they will fail because they are uncoordinated and lack self-awareness. The more you realize this, the freer you become.
  
  Further reading:
  
  
• Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. It's a classic for a reason. Do not mentally add "effective in business" to the title, it applies to all situations.
  
• The Art of Seduction. It's not just about seducing women. Making friends, marketing products, attracting investors - these all share common skills which can and must be learned.
  
• The Obstacle Is The Way. Because this is /r/stoicism, after all.
  
• The 4-Hour Body. Learn about self-experimentation and planning ahead for failure. Develop self-awareness. Lose weight if necessary, build muscle if desired.

you're gonna bitch about someone possibly stealing karma on a stoicism subreddit? you need to spend a lot more time here, maybe pick this up https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Stoic-Meditations-Wisdom-Perseverance/dp/0735211736

My all-time favorite Stoic passage has to do with obstacles:

"In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us—like sun, wind, animals. Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. "

To me, this is the most powerful idea in Stoicism. It's so good that there's an entire book written based on this principle from Marcus Aurelius.

What makes it so powerful is the idea that obstacles are not simply to be avoided and maneuvered around. They are to be used as fuel to advance action. Meaning you would actually be worse off if that obstacle didn't exist in the first place. And you're better off with the obstacle having been existed. Obstacles are not only to be neutralized, they are to be turned into an advantage, an opportunity to propel you forward.

I have seen incredible change. I started using Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance and the Art of Living as a journal prompt. Not everyday is relevant, but it has become an important part of my nightly ritual. I have recently added Deng Ming-Dao's 365 Tao: Daily Meditations to my routine.

Soon after getting involved with stoic thought, I made a New Year's resolution to stop swearing. I did it because I realized a lot of my negative traits were tied up with how I spoke to the world. My swearing worsened my agitation and led to poor interactions. Swearing cheapened me, and I can see now my anger was often directed at things I cannot change. I was angry at things I could not change, and that only made me more angry.

I have a simple example from this month. My town sewer line backed up and flooded my basement with sewage. It sucked. But I didn't get angry. I dealt with it. I called the town and they fixed the issue. The insurance company paid me. It has been a lot of work, but some good has come of it, too. I have discarded many things I do not need. My life is simpler now. And I have seen what good friends I have who came to help.

I'm a cognitive psychotherapist and what you're calling rumination (which perhaps sounds more like what psychologists now tend to call "worry") is one of my special areas of interest. (Rumination is usually defined as being about the past and involving "Why?" questions; worry about feared "What if?" scenarios, catastrophes, in the future.)

The issue you're talking about is well-documented in the research literature. It seems paradoxical at first that worry/rumination is harmful but visualising catastrophes can be helpful. However, picturing the worst-case scenario (called "imaginal exposure") is one of the most well-established techniques in the whole field of psychotherapy. It's linked to very basic psychological mechanisms, which are actually not the ones Irvine describes. Irvine's rationale for the exercise also isn't very faithful to the Stoics, who appear to think about it in a way that's more consistent with the use in modern CBT.

The Stoics knew, and we now know, that anxiety tends to abate naturally when someone is exposed in reality (or in imagination) to the feared situation for long enough, and repeatedly enough, as long as other complicating factors are controlled. Worry/rumination would be a major complicating factor here. The difference is that it's typically a verbal process rather than a predominantly visual one, and also that it tends to skip around rather than "sitting with" the scene patiently. Typically, imaginal exposure involves picturing a scene for quite a while, about 15-30 minutes, every day for a week or two, in order to be properly effective. It's crucial that any form of avoidance is dropped during these exposure sessions, and that includes verbal worrying or rumination because there's evidence that suggests (ironically) that it actually functions as a form of subtle avoidance of the feared event. (For example, physiological measures of anxiety are surprisingly low among chronic worriers compared to phobics who are presented with their feared object.)

I've written about worry/rumination and Stoicism in several books on the subject. The main one is probably my book called Build your Resilience, which combines modern research on emotional resilience with some discussion of Stoic philosophical practices. Here's a link:
http://www.amazon.com/Resilience-2013How-Survive-Thrive-Situation-Yourself/dp/1444168711

I could maybe email you the chapter if you're interested.

Donald Robertson

Ryan Holiday has a book, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living. Not really calendar, but still does it by day, so "book-calender".

Here are some excerpts from "today" *(Not sure where you live, so...)***:

>“November 28th
>
>IT’S NOT ON THEM, IT’S ON YOU
>
>—————————
>
>“If someone is slipping up, kindly correct them and point out what they missed. But if you can’t, blame yourself—or no one.”
>
>—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 10.4
>
>A good teacher knows that when a student is failing, the blame falls on the instructor, not the pupil. How much more generous and tolerant would we be if we could extend this understanding to other spheres in our life? To be able to see that if a friend is unreliable, maybe it’s because they don’t know what’s wrong or because we haven’t tried to help them fix their flaw. If an employee is underperforming, just talk to them or figure out if they’re lacking in support. If someone is being annoying, try talking to them about the problem with their behavior, or ask yourself: Why am I being so sensitive?
>
>And if this doesn’t work, try letting it go. It might be an isolated incident anyway.”

&**

>“November 29th
>
>YOU’RE GOING TO BE OK
>
>—————————
>
>“Don’t lament this and don’t get agitated.”
>
>—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 7.43
>
>There’s that feeling we get when something happens: It’s all over now. All is lost. What follows are complaints and pity and misery—the impotent struggle against something that’s already occurred.
>
>Why bother? We have no idea what the future holds. We have no idea what’s coming up around the bend. It could be more problems, or this could be the darkness before the dawn.
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>If we’re Stoic, there is one thing we can be sure of: whatever happens, we’re going to be OK.”

You can check out u/Stoic_MOTD — no means a calendar either, but trying to do a quote a day. Here is a link to today's [HERE]