Best products from r/StopGaming

It's all part of the quitting journey. Discovering new hobbies is just part of quitting because once you quit then you'll just have more hours free in the day (and night). If you don't try new hobbies then you're more likely to slip back into it again.

I try to stick to free hobbies or hobbies that are like buy it once then it's mostly free until you decide you want to upgrade, which might be often depending on what it is, lol! :)

I've really focused on making my healthy a priority, so I've taken on things like:

-Fitness. I bought some handweights, a medicine ball, a yoga mat (for stomach exercises mostly) then I just started some basic exercises, doing cardio and just generally trying to be outside more. I find that being outside generally helps me more than going to a gym (cheaper too) or doing exercises inside because it motivates me, so I can't give up as easily.

-Bicycling. It's fun, it's exercise, it's transportation all rolled into one.

-Swimming. Love the water, it's almost like meditating for me. Good exercise too.

-Cooking/Nutrition. Reading labels has become my version of reading stats, skill trees, etc. and it helps me challenge myself. Eating better is a reward in itself and if you like eating then trying new foods, spices or tools (grill, pan, oven, etc) then you'd probably like this. Food shouldn't cost you much extra either. Check out /r/eatcheapandhealthy, /r/crockpot, /r/vegetarian (even if you are not) and their sidebars. :)

-Metal Detecting, Magnet Fishing or /r/Geocaching . I feel like these are really forgotten about or people don't really know that they exist. /r/metaldetecting is like treasure hunting, exercise and cleaning up the environment all in one. /r/magnetfishing is the same thing, except you're casting a magnet and rope into the water and seeing what you can find (good arm workout too lol). Neither of these are expensive to get into (more than $200). Just be careful of bridges, etc when magnet fishing.

-Gardening/Landscaping. There are /r/gardening and /r/landscaping subreddits too. My rototiller is great for like digging up weeds or getting the ground ready for planting. They're surprisingly fun to use too. I want to use my rototiller even if I don't have to, lol! :)

-Social groups. Use anything and everything to just get out of the house. Use meetup.com, use the craigslist 'Community' section (be safe), find the local subreddit for your city because I can almost guarantee something exists. If you're not in a relationship then try joining a dating site, even if it's just for friends.

Challenge yourself to become better, you're the protagonist in your own story now. Video games come and go all the time and there will ALWAYS be another game.

Let's continue to refine it together. I need a few more weeks to finish a few things I'm focusing on but then we can really dive in and see how we can break it all down and make it easy to digest.

I definitely want to dive into the social community aspect more and the identity side, two components which I believe are very strong in why we play.

For Bali (or travel in general...) it's all about perspective. A villa in Bali is around $300-400/month and food is cheap (like a dollar for a bowl of Pho). It's completely realistic to live in Bali for $10/day. To live really well (like a King) it would be less than $1000/month.

So if you want to go and not work for six months all you need somewhere between $1800-$6000 + flights (one way from Vancouver to Bali is about $500).

Now the benefit I have is that I'm still able to work while I travel (I have a few streams of income:

• Coaching through Kingpin Lifestyle (been doing that for over six years)
  
• Freelance/Web design. I outsource projects I find through friends/family. I also write for addiction.com and get paid for it.
  
• I have a food blog with my mom called Wheat Free Mom. She does recipes I do everything else.
  
• A friend puts on an event called The Higher Purpose Project and I've helped him out with finding attendees for a referral fee.
  
  It all compounds. Thankfully I've been doing this for awhile so it comes more naturally now, but it's something you're definitely able to figure out if you dedicate time and effort towards it.
  
  The key is to develop different skills you can offer to people as a service. This is the difference between a friend of yours saying they need a website and you saying: "Ya... a website is something good to have." compared to you saying: "Oh ya? I could probably help you with that.." The next thing you know you've sold a website for $2000 and by outsourcing the project you end up with $1000 for sending a few emails and overseeing things. :)
  
  Here are a few good resources to start with if you're interested:
  
  
• The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau.
  
• The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau
  
• The 4 Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss
  
• Tim Ferriss' Blog
  
• Chris Guillebeau's blog
  
• Sean Ogle's blog: Location 180
  
  

Old post, but I felt that this has to come to the surface.

Video games didn't hold you at gun point. It didn't force you to play. Yes, they are designed to abuse your reward systems in the brain, and yes at such a young age it can be difficult to recognize these patterns, but it is up to the user to take control. Clearly you have made a good decision early on, as many can go 20 years before they finally snap out of the daze.

What I'm about to share, is nothing new. You will have heard about it, maybe even tried it one or twice. For most people it doesn't stick, because it seem too challenging and demanding. The thing which is neglected, is how it will develop a keen way of getting profound insight into your own life, habits, thought and behaviour-patterns.

Keep with me for a moment, because what I'm trying to get to here is quite important. Meditation is, and should be, a tool taught to everyone, especially at a young age. It will give the person distance from emotions and immediate reactions, which in return will make it possible to have an objective view. It also clears away the endless chatter in the head, allowing you to have serious discussions with yourself, and also has the potential to give profound clarity in life. The kind of clarity where the world becomes brighter, you notice details in your life that weren't there before. Because you are always fully present, in the moment. Like a new born. vipassana is the style of meditation which is the easiest to begin with, with only one goal in mind. To build concentration and awareness, as they are essentially bound together, and one cannot exist without the other.

I highly suggest checking out this book, even if all you read is the first 20 pages... It might just change your life, allow you to play games as a reward, rather than as a clutch. https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

It may seem boring, and really difficult, but once you do some research you will realize that most "successful" people in this world actually meditate, it becomes a silent clue that it has some real weight behind it. It hasn't been practiced for hundreds of centuries for no reason. It is the best way for (and probably the only way for the former) total enlightenment and liberation, of our desires, anger, our jealousy, greed and hate. (ps. Lifeflow 2 is a great tool to learn meditation )

Start working out. Get healthy, great foods into the body. It'll make ur weight stabilize. Get out of the house and do stuff. Go for walks. Read books. It really doesn't matter. Just get going and it will snowball once you see positive changes in your life.

Lastly, externalizing "I would be happy if x y z" factor is only a setup by your mind, your ego. It doesn't work like that. TRUE happiness comes from within. No amount of external stimuli can ever give you that. You have to CHOOSE to be happy. It'll come with age, if you pursue it, relentlessly. You can't predict how your life would be different, because it could have gone in any direction. The only important thing is what you decide to do now, then stop blaming the past, stop looking back, move forward, find mentors, find idols, find people to emulate, and give it your everything.

Best of luck.

I think the best advice to be given to high school people is just to CHILL. When I went there, there was a lot of social pressure to fit in and get to know whatever. But I think the best thing I could have done was not care. And I say not care meaning like okay, so you have more friends... how does that then make me inferior? Yea, you can meet girls there, but you can also meet girls after high school. If you know you are cool, then you don't really have to worry about these other things.

I didn't have many friends in high school. My friend pool actually vanished and I had to move into a new group. I still keep in touch with some of these guys to this day. It was cool to have a group, but life moves on and changed a whole bunch after high school.

I don't think you should see games as an enemy or an obstacle that prevents you from having a social life, but just think of it as something you do. What makes you social is really who you are and that is a sum of everything you do and believe in. The other half is who you are interacting with. They might not be social... then it's not really you then.

I guess I feel like the odd one here because I still do play games, but I'm subscribed to this forum. I play games and 99% of the people I run into do not know what I play or don't play games. That's fine. It's an activity that I enjoy that makes me competitive or enjoy content. I don't see it that much different than say being stuck on a good TV series like Breaking Bad. I don't think it's really playing games that is bad, but an addiction to it that is the case. If you are pushing away friends, family and opportunities to game, then it should be a concern.

So I would make sure you have your basics down. Get your grades up, eat well and keep it cool with parents and such. I would go ahead and buy these:

http://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Fitness-31000-Basic-Pushup/dp/B008DNA9WU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1419809491&sr=8-3&keywords=push+up+pro

http://www.amazon.com/Iron-Gym-Total-Upper-Workout/dp/B001EJMS6K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419809561&sr=8-1&keywords=pull+up

These are one of the best purchases I have ever made. Just buy them and use them time to time. I do pull ups and push ups here and there and I look pretty decent. I'm not a walking bulge of muscle, but it builds some and I don't look lanky. BUY THEM. They last a long time and are so much cheaper than a gym membership. You also want to throw in some running and squats as well.

It's pretty terrifying at lunch time when you go out to recess and there is nobody you meet with. Then you start freaking out... man I don't have friends... man I'm a loser, etc. I would try to find groups that you see people that share your interests with or find school clubs you can be around and hop into. One of the better things I found out was that in reality, EVERYONE is terrified at this age. When you realize that, you realize everything you fear is constructed and that it's really up to you to care or not. I still think having friends is better because it's more fun. Just calm down and be smart. Before you know it, you'll be the coolest guy you know.

"I craved for games that had easy achievements so I could feel good again."

+1

The industry gamifies games to make you want to play them regardless of their quality. It's not even a "I want to finish a hard game" or "I want to complete a hard game". You just want the 100% completion/platinum trophy and we will be inclined to choose the easy way to the reward.

I've been reading about dopamine and its behavioral effects. Apparently it doesn't only moderate reward but also motivation. Check my comment posted today for explanatory links.

You essentially opted in for easy reward over hard, it's like opting to avoid going to the gym or improve your social skills in favor of playing video games and indulge to pornography. Another good book is the shallows: what the internet is doing to our brains where the author argues that the medium (how we choose to convey a message) can affect us more than the information.

Because another thing that gives us quick fixes is the novelty of browsing Reddit for funny things, and the warmth of social approval that we get from getting one of our comments/posts upvoted.

I'm going to take a shot at this.

Don't be afraid, software is one of those field where you can still make something of yourself alone and without a degree, very few fields allow that.

Although real college is not an option for you but an online degree might be. Check out udacity.com get a nano degree to show some worth.

Find a field of interest. Coding is just not one simple thing, there are lots of fields to work in. Web Dev, embedded, security, imaging etc. All these field have specialization too but ignore that for right now. Find something that interests you and something that you think you can manage alone. Web Dev is a great area to look into for this but if you have hardware experience you can do some embedded stuff too. Mobile is also a great path.

Your issues might not allow you to work in a team environment either. So start doing things on your own. Use these guys to get feedback on your code. http://codereview.stackexchange.com/

Start and complete a full project. That is the only way you can learn about certain processes. Read a book on software design, personally I like this one https://www.amazon.com/Emergent-Design-Evolutionary-Professional-Development/dp/0321889061

but there are several other greats too. Derek Banas on youtube has several great videos about design patterns too.

Once you learn a language and development environment try to see what other frameworks might be out there or what other IDE's might be out there.

When you have a complete working project use it to get freelance work.

Read code, lots of it. you may not see the benefit of it now but soon you will be picking up good practices and tricks from the experts.

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place but hope this helps or at least gives you some direction.

You will be fine just keep pushing through, it might take some time but work and money will come.

Forget about stopping gaming for a second. Lift! Start going to the gym and have that in your life besides whatever else is happening. Once you establish that as a habit, you can re-assess your other habits.

More importantly, check your diet, what you put in you is going to determine who & what you are to a large extent. Don't try to go too crazy though because complicating things tends to lead to no results. Stick to eating enough meat, low amount of carbs (some sweet potatoes / brown rice, for dinner), and a good amount of veggies (tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, broccoli, pickled beets, lettuce; mix and match from time to time, I don't mean have all of them in one meal). Whatever you do, you MUST abandon sugary drinks (diet cokes and the like are ok in moderation tho).

Here's a common day's meals template that's dead simple and good for you (and which I eat at least 3 days a week): lunch (bacon, eggs, cottage cheese w/ a splash of light soy sauce, some tomatoes), dinner (chicken thighs & sweet potatoes - oven baked; salad [tomato + cucumber + lettuce + splash of olive oil & vinegar], for drinks just some black tea with a teaspoon of honey in each and water.

Do that, and you'll be on your way to a great life for yourself, I promise. It's also very, very important to have patience. Right now you're probably wanting results fast and won't have the tolerance for putting in the effort required to steer the ship in a new direction. Have the perspective of life's length. You have many, many years to live still and you can enjoy those immensely but it requires you to keep them in mind when after a few weeks of effort you're not seeing the amount of progress you want and will want to revert back to old habits. Believe in the process & don't judge it too soon, it will take months just to get used to it, and then more months to really get the results you fantasise about. That's life, and it won't be any different for anything else - accept it. The sooner, the better. And whatever you do, don't think about it in big steps, but rather small steps. Think about the next hour and the next small tasks, ignore the macro for a second because that can set you back. It's going to be much easier to do it that way. e.g. if you had to lose weight don't think about the amount you have to lose in total, but rather focus on doing things right on that day, or even better - for the next meal, and take it like that, one meal at a time and ignore the bigger picture.

Only after you have diet and exercise under control even think about anything else. Any other "self-improvement" is a distraction until then and wholly unnecessary - even a detriment. Focus only on these two things for now.

Lastly, a great book I'd highly recommend you read to help you better with tactics for your journey is "How to fail at almost everything and still win big" by Scott Adams. It can do a lot for your thinking and will be immensely helpful.

Keep it simple:

1. Gym
   
2. Diet
   
   That's it, and read the book. Everything else will come after that.

I feel fortunate for having quit video games at 18, but it's never too late to start filling life with your creations. Check out the book called Mastery by Robert Greene as he explains how to become a master at whichever craft you enjoy no matter the age. Feel like drawing? START NOW Feel like making music? START NOW Want to start writing? START NOW! Whatever it is, it's never too late to start. Good luck man and hope you'll be able to change that nothing to tons!

There are not enough research papers specifically on gaming addiction because gaming addiction together with social media and pornography falls under the umbrella of internet addiction - Like you said a rather new field. Some breakthroughs are being made in the last years to have it recognized as an addiction per se (at least in Europe) the problem with conducting enough research is that there are no funds and insurance companies have no wish having another area of responsibility to potentially give away money to people suffering from it. If gaming addiction become completely recognized by international bodies of medicine then insurance companies might have to pay preexisting clients for passed and current treatments ---> something they definitely do not want to do.
Nonetheless here are some videos of legit men of science (not some random ex gamer) that research the field.

"Here is a short interview with Dr. David Greenfield talking about some of the mental and physical applications of gaming and internet addiction"


There are also longer talks on his channel like this one.
Dr. Greenfield has been researching Internet addiction since the 90's.


"Dr. Klaus Woelfling, from the University of Mainz. Germany is taking steps in treating Internet addiction and especially gaming addiction" - this one is a difficult watch primarily because the speaker is very uncharismatic (try watching with the speed setting on 1.5).

Last but definitely not least is "Your Brain on Porn"
Yes, yes I know, you might not want to hear that another of your favorite pastimes is bad for you, but this video covers on a very scientific basis the damages that watching excessive pornography causes to the brain, and no this is not some kind of NoFap cult propaganda, it speaks only on the subject of internet porn. Like I said before, porn together with gaming fall under the umbrella of internet addiction because the reaction we receive from these negative habits has the same structure. If you actually watch the Your Brain on Porn video you will hear him mention numerous times that the damages caused to dopamine receptors is similar to the ones cause from gaming and extensive internet use.

This is just some of the evidence done by men of medicine and science from the top of my head. If you want to go deeper I'd recommend The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains By Nicholas Carr an American author and Pulitzer Prize winner (for that book), witch contains truly numerous examples of scientific studies and references you might want in the bibliography.


Also The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge M.D that talks mainly about brain plasticity and how different behaviors and habits cause the brain to form new cells , create new neural pathways etc etc . He also gives lots of examples how positive and negative behaviors causes various changes IN THE BRAIN, Internet addiction stuff included.

If you really want proof and not just searching for a reason to dismiss things you dont like the sound of then I hope this comment will serve you. If you do nothing less at least watch the first interview with Dr. David Greenfield. It is only 6 minutes long.

Hope this post that took me 50 minutes to put together and find all the links, will be of service to somebody.
Peace.

Edit: Grammar and formatting

You want to quit, so obviously you realize that Dota has no positive effect on your life.

You need something to replace it with. Create a goal of some kind.

I don't really know your life situation so it's hard to say. But in general..

Decide you want to...

Get healthy and fit. (Gym, nutrition, proper sleep, etc.)

http://www.amazon.com/The-UltraMind-Solution-Depression-Overcome/dp/1416549714

Learn something. (Language, instrument, etc.)

Become something great. (Programmer, engineer, doctor, etc.)

http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/

Attract a beautiful girl, go out more and become extroverted.

http://www.rsdnation.com/

Earn more money to do more things, get a job or pick up more hours.

Travel more, plan a trip.

You can't just quit for quiting's sake. You need a reason.

All of the above is within your potential. Instead of playing Dota, pick one thing worth while to focus all your energy on. Instead of watching replays and reading Dota strategies, read books on how to obtain that which you really desire.

Another thing I wondered is: how are you learning tin whistle?

I have been playing for a few weeks. I started out with this book which was like "Let's learn how to read music. Let's learn quarter notes. Now let's learn 46 nursery rhyme songs that aren't at all like what you want to learn." I was getting bored.

I've been working through the free online lessons on OAIM for like a week and I like it much better. It's more focused on playing by ear, which is more true to the tin whistle itself anyway. I think I might actually buy a membership when I've worked through the free stuff.

The best and easiest way is to become part of some local group, whether that's sport, cooking, social causes etc. - this can really be anyting. The secret to making friends is shared experience above all else. Most importantly be regular, since it takes some time for you to go from being an acquaintance, group member to friend.

I too dislike social occasions. But something most people don't realise is that Christmas, weddings, birthdays and the associated banter and exchanges are not an end in themselves. The point is to be in the company of others and connect. I guess you did something similar with your gamer friends, I mean there are plenty of single-player games that would allow you to 100% avoid human contact.

I don't really care about how your kids are really into fidget spinners now or how you've repainted your house (I doubt anyone does), but it's something to talk about while we hangout.

I think like myself you've never had to work on your social skills are I'd recommend researching a little about how to make simple everyday conversations.

This book was a turning point in my life: https://www.amazon.com/Fine-Art-Small-Talk-Conversation/dp/1401302262. Btw I haven't read all of it but the first 10-20 pages were enough to get the idea (PM me if you can't afford to buy a copy, I can hook you up and I do recommend it that much!).

• Talk to people, don't wait for them to come to you.
  
• If you repeatedly keep quiet in groups you're putting your desire for comfort over everyone else's.
  
• Until you're good friends with people or are extroverted (which I don't think you are) conversation always takes some effort. And there's some discomfort associated with being the one to start conversations.
  
• Eavesdrop. Atleast you've got family in your life, eavesdrop to listen to how they start conversations and keep them going.
  
• Weather, traffic, politics and family life: perenially shunned as sign of dull conversation between dullards. Well most people are not wildly passionate about a subculture / hobby like gaming. These are the lowest common denominators for conversation - guaranteed to get you talking with anyone - and really just a jumping off point.

• The 48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
  
  • Animated YouTube version
    
• Dominate: Conquer Your Fears. Become The Man You Want to Be. - David De Las Morenas
  
• The Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
  
• The Slight Edge - Jeff Olson
  
  All excellent books. I have personally met each author and they are amazing men that live what they write.
  
  Of course, good ole Dale Carnegie's book in How to Win Friends & Influence people comes to mind, but his book lacks the tenacity and ferocity needed to succeed. It's lessons are excellent, but often it's too nice.
  
  
  

Congratulate yourself,


I am serious. I know that sounds goofy, but you've done it! You've already quit. You thought it through and you've had the willpower to come here and talk to us. I am sure we could think of a million ways in which you could already have a new gaming computer.


The cycle is bad, harsh, and it can be extremely depressing to think about the past. I can deeply sympathize with that feeling, sometimes I still feel it. But, you are starting a new book now. Focus on the present. I am going to paraphrase (badly) the stoics here:


>There are only two things you can control: your thoughts, and your actions.

​

You've already started acting in a way that will make you feel better and be better in the long term. Two recommended readings are:

• The Power of Habit by Charlie Duhigg
  
• The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson
  
  Scheduling your days is step 4 in this intro. It is critical to start. You need to fill up your days with new things. A daily schedule can keep you on the right path.
  
  
  The others are right, start a budget now and earmark all money to be spent or saved for other more important things. r/personalfinance has a wiki in the sidebar, great place to start.
  
  
  Gamequitters has a hobby tool, to help you find new hobbies. https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/
  
  
  If you need a computer to be part of society, ensure the next computer you get is not gaming capable, if you can.
  
  
  ​

We still need to reward ourselves, otherwise what do we have to look forward to? But we need to find healthier and more productive rewards besides gaming and/or tv.

Instead of chilling out with games, try reading, walking, cooking, or <insert activity that you enjoy that relaxes you and isn't gaming>.

That's how new habits are built -- cue, habit, reward.

Highly recommended, The Power of Habit -- http://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X/

edit: grammar

I'm learning python bc it's easy for me that hasn't any knowledge about programming language. And later I want to learn C# and C++. The book I'm reading is [My Lovely Wife by Samantha Downing](https://www.amazon.com/My-Lovely-Wife-Samantha-Downing/dp/0451491726). And now that I'm in the processing for stop play games I have more time to study english, my second language.

http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

Fantastic book for learning how to get started with meditation. You can start with just minutes a day to see improvement. I would also suggest getting in some nature. I know you said you are disabled and I wasnt sure if that meant physically at all -- if not just get outside and find things that you can tolerate.

>Why can't i just do shit, it's so easy

Because it's easier to do the same shit you've been doing.

When you're feeling low and haven't had a taste of success, doing things that matter feels pointless, yet it's the only way to better your life as you say you want. I would suggest you read a few books, The War of Art and The Slight Edge that might nudge you in the right direction.

Become habitual about other things in your life the same way you did with gaming and it will come. I recommend this book right here:
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525330653&sr=8-1&keywords=the+power+of+habit

First of all, congratulations on quitting and making an effort to change. Big up.

Second, hardly anyone can change everything at once. Stick with ONE concrete small thing and make it stick. If you try to change everything at once, we will most often fail and feel disappointed and go back to old habits. "Be more productive" is also much to vague for most humans. Check out the book The power of habit by Chalres Duhigg. Anchored in science, it really has helped me change things I wanted to change for over 15 years. Lots of thing left to change, but I can't do it all at once. ANd often, changing only one small thing will bring lots of secondary benefits that makes other tings fall into place.