Best products from r/SubSanctuary

There are a lot of really good books that I've enjoyed like Slavecraft, SM 101, The bottoming book.

I can understand someone helping you find your kinky identity I just think the way you phrased "proper sub behavior" is misleading yourself a bit. You won't find your proper self in books, you'll only learn what other people have done. Who you are is probably what he wants you to find, your true self. Books, FAQs, websites, etc. are just a way for you to do that. They aren't rule books for you to follow.

Yep, it happens. I had a few experiences myself that weren't effective, until I found ones that did work.

I'd probably suggest you this book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286 — mind, I would not take this as a substitute for anything else I mentioned, and maybe that's not exactly for you, but I think it's a solid book and might help. :)

>Sometimes what you want is not what you need. Try reading Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham, if you haven't already. She describes "conquer me feelings" as "the submissive's internal demand for a show of strength." I felt validated by this book, as I like him to be nice to me, yet really need to see those moments of strength/domination come from him.

Thanks, I'll check it out!

http://www.amazon.com/Brand-Folding-Kennel-Crate-Cage/dp/B0002IH01W/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1367924014&sr=8-5&keywords=dog+kennel

Go ahead and check that out. It is a good size for me and i am 5'11". A bigger size would be more comfortable but i make due =]

Sometimes what you want is not what you need. Try reading Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham, if you haven't already. She describes "conquer me feelings" as "the submissive's internal demand for a show of strength." I felt validated by this book, as I like him to be nice to me, yet really need to see those moments of strength/domination come from him.

Good idea as well!

These are little too juvenile; yoga/pilates mats, we could explain as to why we have them. Those? Not so much. Perhaps if we were into age play, but alas: not our kink. ;)

Thanks for the suggestion!

Maybe a Pilates mat? They are thicker than a yoga mat but thinner than a pillow, plus more surface area so your feet don't hang off the edges providing cushioning.

Or these things cheap, easy to find, and plenty of cushioning without adding height.

You're welcome. I also suggest re-reading the comments on your post here before you talk to him or even linking him to this post. I think there are things you might need to remind yourself of and things that people have said that you might be missing.

Here is a link to a book that might help you

I know you posted this about a month ago, but hopefully you'll see my comment. I am a big, big fan of The New Topping Book. It has a companion book for s-types as well; The New Bottoming Book.

Personally; I'd stay away from anything Jay Wiseman has written, because he's a pompous ass who doesn't actually know anything. Whatever works for you, though.

Sympathy here. Not sure if punishments will actually help the situation, if they make you feel worse instead of better you may need to reevaluate that aspect.

As far as depression/anixety and kink there's a book on this exact topic. Stories of kink and condition breathing the same air and partially from the view of partners which is also invaluable. Broken Toys by Raven Kaldera. And Mastering Mind is companion for the dominant side. Kindles available. Part of a series of 4 with one each for physically disabled dominants and subs too (Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit).
https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Toys-Submissives-Neurological-Dysfunction-ebook/dp/B013PQCP08/ref=pd_sim_351_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EBCTDAEW69HZ1SS2BN00

First you need to define what a 50's housewife is to you.

http://www.vavoomvintage.net/

http://www.emilypost.com/

http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Good-Wifes-Guide-Embracing-ebook/dp/B006XG0H3U

http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Dominant-John-Warren/dp/1890159727 all three books commonly bought in the wishlist starter

That one looks really similar! The exact link for mine is here.

Ah, it works now! No idea what went wrong.

This so heckin neat and I love it so much.

Was it this one? https://www.amazon.com/Third-Eye-Export-Mandala-Oversized/dp/B01N76DXA5/ref=pd_bxgy_2/131-6100160-1235414?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01N76DXA5&pd_rd_r=0aaf3709-59ad-11e9-aa0d-03b370e3d04a&pd_rd_w=CCAEe&pd_rd_wg=95fGf&pf_rd_p=a2006322-0bc0-4db9-a08e-d168c18ce6f0&pf_rd_r=TAM4749EYVEF0797TANQ&psc=1&refRID=TAM4749EYVEF0797TANQ

You need to sit down with him and have a long conversation about this, as a person- not as a sub. We can't tell you the kind of sub you should be or how to act with your dom. Find a couple books on submission, take a couple kink tests, discuss limits and expectations. If he's an experienced dom then he should know to have this sort of conversation up front. If at any point in time he starts to tell you that "if you were a good sub you'd do x" or if he starts pushing your hard limits- run. Far. That's manipulation and abuse, not dominating.


Conquer Me: Girl-to-Girl Wisdom about Fulfilling Your Submissive Desires by Kacie Cunningham
BDSM Test
Mojo Upgrade

I used to get awful ingrown hairs until I discovered the magic that is Aveeno shaving gel for sensitive skin. Give it a try and use a good sharp razor. I use a Schick Quattro. The kind that you have to buy replacement razors for, not the disposable kind. It's a pricey razor but worth it.

Shave at the end of a hot shower so that your pores have opened up and your skin is soft. Let the gel sit for a minute too before you start. I keep the shower running for the added steam. You can also try pre-conditioning the hairs to soften them up with conditioner or coconut oil. But be mindful that conditioner can contain fragrances that are irritating.