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I created a throwaway to tell you my story, which may help you make a decision. I have been married for almost 3 and a half years to a girl who worked at Rainbow 4. We are very happy together and I have absolutely no regrets.

I first saw her on Facebook a few weeks after I returned from my first ever visit to Thailand and was floored at how attractive she was. I creeped her profile and due to having been around the block a few times strongly suspected she was a working girl. I sent her a message and we began chatting. I went back to Thailand later that year and spent the entire time with her and we had a blast. After I came back home, we were in continuous contact with each other via MSN messenger and Skype. I eventually offered to support her if she stopped working the bar. She quit and immediately went to work at her best friends hair salon. Soon after we started talking about her coming to the US and getting married. We started the K1 Visa process but found that she had Latent TB Infection(dormant and non-contagious) which would have to be cured before she could enter the US. To cure the TB, she had to go to Bumrungrad every single day at the same time to take a series of pills. She went every single day for 6 months. During this time, I asked her to enroll in English classes, which she did.

I know everyone in this situation says "my girl is different". Most of the time its not true, but in my case it was. A few things, I think, differentiated my wife from the mercenary type girls who do populate the clubs and bars. All of her close friends were regular girls with regular jobs, and some of her friends didn't even know what she did for a living. Another thing was that she was older and hadn't been in the business for very long. She worked for years in hair salons and department stores. She was 32 when I first met her and had been working in go go bars for less than a year.

Our Visa was finally approved. I brought her to the US and we were married in Las Vegas in August 2013. For the record, I did get a prenup via an American attorney based in Bangkok. In January, she received her work permit and went to work at a local Thai restaurant and has been there ever since. She has an incredible work ethic and is invaluable to the owner of the restaurant.

You probably already understand that when you marry an Asian woman, you also marry their family. One of her sisters is a loser, but the other one has a Master's degree and a good job. We ended up helping her mother a sweet and very hard working woman buy a condo, about $30k US. Yes, we have sent thousands to Thailand helping her family, but my wife's income more than offsets that.

I know most people here are telling you to run away. I'm not telling you that your story would end up like mine, but I am saying that not all people in your situation end up regretting getting involved with a prostitute. This girl may very well be the love of your life, but you have to use common sense. If this girl is playing you will see the signs beforehand, you just have to be smart enough to acknowledge them.

I left out quite a bit because this post was already long enough, but I'll be glad to answer any questions that you may have.

Good luck to you both.



Edit for clarification: we just helped with the down payment on her mom's condo, about $6k US.

Edit #2: No matter what you decide to do, I recommend this book. I bought 2 copies and had my then fiance read it as well. https://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-Chris-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1478985022&sr=8-1&keywords=thailand+fever

The second link is published from Thailand, by Thai natives. It probably has the advantage of more and more up-to-date vocabulary, in both directions. But I must apologize for this recommendation; unless you have a better source, or only plan to use the single physical copy available at The Standford University Green Library, the $1,776 price on Amazon is prohibitive.

I do have experience with Mary Haas, book, which I am surprised to find is still in print. I didn't expect the first link to be the same as the one I used in-country until you mentioned how old it was. For what it is worth, Ms. Haas book starts with a brief, but very good, language premiere before it dives into definitions. It correctly captures the five levels of speech, from divine to profane. I found the definitions very clear and accurate and have a fondness for this book as it was essential to me in expanding my Thai vocabulary.

I think that I would prefer the second link as well, because it is more modern. But the Mary Haas book is an excellent choice and a safe bet, you will not be disappointed; especially at the comparatively cheap $72 price.

If she's open to talking with you and is not giving you the silent treatment then you can explain like the above. Tell her in the past you were a bit of a playboy but after your visit to Thailand in 2012 you fell in love with her and realized that she is the only one for you forever. Take her to a nice meal and buy her a little gift and say sorry for upsetting her... You can explain that book you read inspired you to tell the truth about everything, even if it causes a problem.

If you're getting the silent treatment then you'll just have to wait it out.

The cover makes it look a bit dodgy but I highly recommend this book for anyone who is in a Thai/Western cross cultural relationship. It dives right into relationship issues, perceptions of problems from different angles, and explains both in English and in Thai.

The subject of face vs truth is covered in there. In short Westerners hold truth and honesty as extremely important whereas in Thailand (and other countries in Asia) the ramifications of speaking the truth are often considered more important. For example you may not want to tell someone something if it would upset them, even if it's the truth. Especially if they are your senior or someone you care about. A lie to preserve their feelings could be considered respectful and a better option.

This is the source of a lot of frustration in Thailand. Foreigners wonder why people didn't say raise up something that they knew is a problem that needs addressed. Or why did someone agree to something if they knew it can't be done. Or why are people are sometimes punished for telling the truth about a situation.

What do you mean customized jersey? You want a name on the back? I'm assuming by the $20 you are from the US? Thai National Jerseys and Thai Premier League club jerseys are EXTREMELY common here. You can pick them up for around 250 baht ($8) at almost any night market. As for getting them customized, that's a little more tricky. I have seen shops put names on the back of jerseys, but you are going to be better off getting the jersey first and then having someone local customize it for you. Now, finding a Roi Et United jersey will also be difficult because they aren't in the Thai Premier League. I live about 15 minutes outside of Roi Et, so if you are patient, I could probably pick one up for you and send it to you. We could probably work something out. I could also grab you a Thai National Jersey or any other TPL club jersey. Since I don't speak Thai, I don't think I could get it customized for you. That would be on you. But like I said, just have someone local do it for you. It would be far easier. Something else you might want to keep in mind is sizes. A large in a jersey here is about a medium in the States. Just letting you know.

Sorry, I don't know any websites other than Amazon, eBay or World Soccer Shop, which I assume you have already checked. Are you from the States? Also, why Roi Et United? I'm just curious because they are such a small team.

EDIT: You should be able to find a Thai National jersey online, but I would almost guarantee you that you won't find a Roi Et United jersey anywhere outside of Roi Et. Actually, I just did an amazon search and found Thai Nation jerseys

I can't recommend much for Thai specifically, but as a general language learning method, Anki (Android, iOS) is approximately the best thing ever. It's a Spaced Repetition System which helps a lot over regular flash cards.

The book Fluent Forever is also a great resource for general language learning tips. I highly recommend checking it out.

And don't forget to come visit us at /r/languagelearning. Happy studies!

> not sure what you mean by 'what-about-ing' (still working on my english) but if you are referring to "it can't hurt" argument

I'm not. I mean, your response to some criticism is "ok but what about...". I didn't mention America or Christianity, nor do I represent them, so why is it relevant :/

> it has nothing to do with you. If I'm going to spend $100 on an amulet knowing that the proceed will go into fixing the temple, feeding the homeless or whatever (as mention in previous comment that proceed often go to some great causes) hoping for some good karma, how does that concerned anyone? same goes for following astrologer. if I follow his/her advice without having to crazy/harmful things, again how does that concerned anyone? This is how most Thais think. They don't follow it blindly as they will say "ฟังหูไว้หู ไม่เชื่อแต่ก็ไม่ลบหลู่"

I'm sorry, but changing a child's name when he's old enough to be confused is not harmless. Politicians running the country based on lucky dates is not harmless. A taxi driver scraping by a living covering his cab with amulets instead of educating his child is not harmless. Monasteries asking for donations so they can build yet-another-massive-orange-and-gold-temple is not harmless. They might not be as bad as "risking your kid getting measles" but they add up.

> I was comparing that they're all important part of the culture and religion. However for those magical abilities you're referring to, I believe in Christianity (or catholic), they are called miracles and I believe they're mentioned regularly in mass media. I see it all the time.

'Miracle' is mostly a metaphor for something really, really unlikely. For example, a low football team beating a good one might be described as a miracle, but it's not meant in a theological sense. Actual miracles are associated with Jesus himself, or with saints (i.e. the Catholic equivalent of 'lesser' Buddhas). The "Jesus appeared in my toast" stuff is pretty fringe, tends to appear in specific sects of Catholicism such as Spanish Catholicism and usually mentioned in a widercontex tas a joke.

>> one special part of the Moon
>well that's a new one. I thought we're just talking? why the mockery?

It was a joke, but there really is a free Bible on the Moon. The Americans left it behind them in case anyone 'needed' it. I'm not sure how you'd think it was mockery, I'm just saying how available it is.

http://www.thailanguagewiki.com/ is pretty good, but its jump in at the deep end type of thing

http://learnthaifromawhiteguy.com/

Also you can do Skype lessons from Thailand with

http://livethaiteacher.weebly.com/
and
http://www.learnthaiwithmod.com/

I also like the free thai alphabet flash cards for the free flash card app http://ankisrs.net/ (just search for 'thai' after you install the app)

I agree with the other regarding the Written language, also I'd recommend this book for grammer:

http://www.amazon.com/Thai-Reference-Grammar-James-Higbie/dp/9748304965

HTH

>There's a blue, textbook sized grammar resource whose name is escaping me that is a bit dry but very useful once you get past the Becker books.


Thai Reference Grammar

I agree, this book is is the most useful book I own. Really important for learning how to put the sentences together. Lot of times you know all the vocab but just can't figure out the right way to put it all together. Well this books has thousands of example sentences that are neatly organized. You will be able to say almost anything with this book.

We're planning on buying a couple bags when we get there, as we can check 2 bags for free with the airline with which we're flying. Therefore, I'm not anticipating lack of space for things we buy once we get there. We're mainly bringing the clothesline and laundry material because we're not sure about everywhere we're going. We might end up in some places out of town for a few days and it would be nice to have laundry supplies (plus they don't take up much room).

Thanks for the great tips :) The locks that we're getting are these, which don't seem too elaborate. Do you think those are a good idea? The sandals I'm planning on bringing are very comfortable and I could walk long distances in them. They're also pretty stylish, so I think I could pull off going out in them if needed. Hopefully I can get by with just those.

So you think I'll want the earplugs and face mask for the plane? I was thinking of earplugs in case we end up near some loud neighbors at some point, but maybe I'll pick some up before I leave if that's the case.

you get 10,000 points for "Sightseeing"!

I can't think of too much fiction... The Windup Girl is an excellent book, but the Thai setting feels a little cringey and forced. It doesn't ruin the book but it doesn't have to be in Thailand either.

Three non-fiction books I think are essential for anyone who hates being clueless:

• Very Thai explains a lot of minutiae about life in Thailand that you probably won't figure out on your own. I wish it were easier to find here, but it's worth buying if you ever see.
  
• Siam Mapped by Thongchai Winichakul explains how modern Thailand and the concept of "Thainess" came to be. It's by a famous Thai academic, but was originally written in English because there's a little too much hard truth in it.
  
• The Art of Not Being Governed by James C. Scott explains the fuck out of hill tribes. I don't think any book has colored my understanding of anything quite like that one. It's full of boring, skippable parts but there are some insights about Southeast Asia I don't think you can gain elsewhere.
  
  edit: I remember an awesome hilarious collection of anecdotes/essays by a prototypical farang sexpat in the late 40s but I forget what it's called, I'll look for it tomorrow
  
  edit #2: Lonely Planet's "World Food Thailand" is also excellent and well-researched
  
  edit #3: "Letters from Thailand" is interesting too, it's about a boy who immigrates to Bangkok from southern China in the 1940s and it follows the rest of his life in Thailand.

The Foreign Service Institute puts Thai as a Level 4 Language difficulty (source: http://www.effectivelanguagelearning.com/language-guide/language-difficulty), which means around 1100 hours to be proficient in speaking and reading. If you are in Thailand and motivated, I think that you can develop some serious Thai skills in 2 years.

Anki flashcard decks to pick up vocab + a good textbook for grammar (https://www.amazon.com/Thai-Reference-Grammar-James-Higbie/dp/9748304965) and daily drilling will get you proficient quickly.

I'm actually in the final stages of development of a Thai language digital textbook/app for iOS but I don't think that it will be released until sometime in the first few months of next year.

Best of luck on your learning!

I'm wondering, where did you buy it?



It's not a well known Thai language learning book when compared to Thai for Beginners by Becker. If you go to Thailand, you'll see that book, along with its CD, in every English language bookstore there.

There's also an app for iPhone and Android and it's amazing. It's missing some details from the book but it's still an excellent way to learn the language

But to answer your question, I looked on amazon and found the book there but I'm not 100% sure if it comes with the CD. The thing is, it's not amazon that's selling the product. It's mostly third-party sellers who are using amazon to sell the product so you have to contact them

Sadly, I can't find any other sites that are just selling the CD

Sorry but good luck on your Thai language journey

I bought these shoes before I went to Thailand and it was the best purchase ever! Quick drying, comfortable to walk in all day, super light weight, and anti-stink. Ive had them for over a year and they barely look worn. http://www.amazon.com/Merrell-Womens-Barefoot-Lithe-Glove/dp/B007CXMGIM

There’s a fair amount of Thai music on Youtube, but the titles are all in Thai, so it’s really a matter of knowing what terms you’re searching for.

Morlam (หมอลำ) showed a blip in popularity in the US back in 2013 via a Boing Boing post on Psych-rock from Thailand – one viewer liked them enough to track them down and get them signed to a CD deal: Khun Narin’s Electic Phin Band.

Hi, well, yes, you guessed well. I read Thailand's Political History: From the 13th Century to Recent Times recently and liked a lot. I've read others as Andrew McGregor Marshall or Paul M. Handley's The King Never Smiles.
I just wondered if you had a book that could recommend to someone who doesn't know anything about Thailand.

These have worked wonders for me, but they do get dirty quick:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00LQDVS24/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

​

These slip on mesh water shoes pass as sneakers, are super breathable and lightweight, but the soles are small so hard to wear them with anything but shorts.

https://www.amazon.com/ALEADER-Mens-Water-Shoes-Overcast/dp/B01J7LSEKA/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1537696134&sr=8-2-spons&keywords=mesh+slip+on+water+shoe&psc=1

​

Might look a bit tacky but functionally, they're great.

> Issan showed they can burn down parts of the capital

Can you explain this? As far as I'm aware there's no evidence that anybody who burned down those buildings was from Isaan, nor that Isaan (the biggest part of Thailand) should in any way be blamed for it. That's like saying "Muslims did 9/11".

> We need better than Time.com to explain Issan to us. Anybody know better sources?

Well, the article is mostly paraphrasing David Streckfuss, so you could start there. It also links to this book by Charles Keyes, which I haven't read but looks interesting. Keyes talks a bit more generally about rural cosmopolitanism vs entrenched middle class in Asia in this interview.

Thongchai Winichakul has written extensively on Thai national identity and internal geopolitics since the 70s. His book Siam Mapped (originally written in English) is pretty much required reading for anyone who wants to understand how Isaan became a part of Thailand and, more generally, Thailand's "unique situation" beyond what you hear on the news and from crazies on the internet like me.

"But panomyong," I hear you say, "I googled Keyes, Streckfuss and Thongchai and they're all anti-coup/pro-red shirt! Why don't you link some balanced sources?" (somebody is going to say it so I'll just type this up now)

The answer is that they're aren't any and there's a very clear cut (but complex!) reason why. In a broad sense, Thai history is caught between two competing and irreconcilable narratives - the official one that is taught in schools and views Thailand as exceptional, and the one everyone else believes that looks at Thailand within the framework of the rest of the world. To accept one is to reject wholesale the other because they have almost nothing in common and the first relies on verifiable falsehoods.

The first views Thailand as modernizing the people of Isaan and bringing them into the warm embrace of Thainess, the second sees Isaan as an ethnically distinct region that has been continually exploited by different kingdoms throughout history. To accept the first requires a Thai nationalist view of history, to accept the second requires the opposite and never the two shall meet. You don't want to read the nationalist stuff about Isaan, it's boring and wrong.

You've probably figured out where I'm going with this, but rejecting the nationalist version of history usually means rejecting the coup and its justifications which means that you get called a red shirt and a Thaksin-lover. That is purely a result of propaganda conditioning - these guys have been saying the same things for decades. For example, you might read this article by Thongchai and think "thaksin lover!!" (I think somebody actually described him as a 'red shirt academic' when that was posted) but he wrote Siam Mapped in 1988 and it's exactly the same stuff. If you read some opinion pieces from the 1973-76 liberalization (they're all in Thai and I don't even know how you'd find them) you'd probably start wondering if Thaksin could time travel.

Welcome fellow Canadian!

Learning Thai is definitely worth the effort. The hardest part about it is the pronunciation; there are a lot of 'ng' sounds at the beginning and middle of words and that can be difficult to speak correctly.

There are some books that help with learning Thai: Thai for Beginngers is the first. It is authored by Benjawan Poomsan Becker. You can find it in any Asia Books store here in Bangkok.

I used this book as well as the intermediate version and, though I don't speak fluently, I definitely have a working knowledge of the language and I can read it. The book teaches you both reading and vocabulary, if learning to read it doesn't interest you, then skip it. However, knowing how to read it (which is not that difficult once you understand how the vowels and a few consonants work) improves your pronunciation quite a lot. Thai has no official transliteration like Mandarin does (pinyin) so every book has a different method and it can get confusing.

This wouldn't be good for teaching necessarily as it's quite dense, but it might be interesting for you to read if you don't already have a lot of knowledge of Thai history. I found it very rewarding. http://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Mr-David-K-Wyatt/dp/0300084757

Grammar is just a way to formalize/describe the language usage patterns.

Babies learn those patterns without formal rules, and adults can as well.

Knowing the rule can sometimes be a useful shortcut compared to having to hear 100 examples and only have a vague sense of the pattern. My favorite Thai language learning book is a reference grammar.

The problem is that specific grammar rules are easy to write down and learn by rote, as well as test. Real language proficiency is much harder to pin down.

Therefore, language teachers with low confidence in their own proficiency or teaching ability (which is most of them!) tend to emphasize grammar rules and use them as a crutch... so students end up learning the grammar rather than the language.

A language teacher needs to know the grammar rules to better explain the common patterns (and to focus on them), but students don't have much need or use for those rules.

I was also learning informally by talking to people.

The book Thai Reference Grammar was helpful in filling gaps in structure/usage. The title sounds dry/technical/academic, but don't let that deter you. The book provides many examples and is remarkably practical in explaining common Thai language patterns in a way many teachers would not be able to.

If you can't read/write much, but can listen well, Thai2English provides a dictionary with good lookup by approximate transliteration (e.g. you can write nam/num/nahm and get a definition for นำ).

Suh-too-waat

Tell-lee

Learning a little Thai will make your trip here more fun and enjoyable. Pick up this book, and practice before you arrive.

I'd recommend "Thailand's Political History: From the 13th Century to Recent Times" by B. J. Terwiel. I really enjoyed it -- it's a solid page turner. I picked it up on my first visit and has done wonders for furthering my understanding of the country.

I've been happy with my 8TB external Seagate drive: https://www.amazon.com/Seagate-Expansion-Desktop-External-STEB8000100/dp/B01HAPGEIE

Apologies, the book is actually titled Thai Reference Grammar

There's another book on Thai grammar which is supposed to be good but which I haven't read. I might've gotten the titles confused, not sure.

Anyway, Thai Reference Grammar is an excellent book.

I can't answer the question directly..

However, I always preferred the "White Monkey Holding Peach" balm better than the Tiger Balm

don't ask me where you can find it because I had the hardest time finding some in Bangkok 3-4 years ago (I think a shop in Chatuchak had it)

which, just reminded me that I don't even know if I have some left.

https://www.amazon.com/White-Monkey-Holding-Peach-Medicated/dp/B00OVLH3UY


who know if it's literally "better" tho.

I'm afraid I'm really not an expert on Thai history, as most of my reading has been on more contemporary Thai culture. I've been recommended books by Wyatt which may be something closer to what you're looking for?

I really like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Thailands-Political-History-Century-Recent/dp/9749863968/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

It's a bit dry in some areas, contradicts the standard Thai "We're militarily awesome, especially against Burma," but drives home how ridiculously lucky/skilled Thais have been with diplomacy. Takes a lot of the myths out and replaces them with more realistic scenarios.