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Well, the thing is OP, like everything, it's really, really complicated. I have met trans people of all walks, orientations, and ages. Some of them are extremely masculine. Some extremely feminine. Some cringingly, affectively, trying-far-to-hard so. Some extremely neither of those, and somewhere in the middle.

I know a software engineer from Amazon who wears overalls and no makeup. She's not femme at all. Not a single stereotype about her, unless "middle-aged lesbian" is the one you were going for. I know one trans woman in her 20s so is an MUA who is so femme you would think she was born female. I know another trans woman to whom this applies and she is in her 60s, so bear in mind what I am about to say now with a pinch of salt.

I heard one cringe-inducing story which I will now tell you. I was at a workshop on exploring our own gender which was being given by a cis presenter. And honestly it was cringe. She was clearly doing her best and clearly had a point to make but we just were never quite on the same page. At one point she asked us all to write down what we thought were typically feminine and typically masculine traits. For 'feminine traits', myself and a group of other trans women all put down things like "Strong", "Resourceful", "Driven", "Determined", "Independent", "Has strength of character", and so on. For "masculine", we put "lazy", "weak", "self-serving", etc. And why would we not? We are transitioning to be women. Why would we think anything else of femininity? But the honest truth is that that exercise hurt. It hurt and made us all, but most of all the NBs in our group to whom no gender or stereotype applies, extremely depressed and dysphoric. "Women (and men) are not stereotypes" we said in the feedback. "We are all so much more than that."

In the closing session, the cis presenter related a story. She had been at conference about LGBT stuff and a trans woman much, much older than her with obvious stubble came up to her and after awkwardly complementing her appearance, said something like (and the presenter's voice deepened as she said this), "I especially like your handbook. You know what us girls are like with our hair and handbags." I was appalled. Why tell this particular story in this particular way to a group of trans folk? Is it because you genuinely think that is what all trans women are like? And also how dare you make fun of her like that? She has to work so hard, every single day--just to be seen as female. And here you come along. You take all of it away from her. A struggle you will never know. Her femininity revoked in an instant. My cis therapist was also suitably appalled.

The point is that if a minority of trans people can have stereotypes about cis people, a minority of cis people also have stereotypes about trans people. Honestly, usually its more than a minority.

Growing up I knew a cis girl who I was close friends with once confided in me that she wanted nothing more in life than to be a housewife and after procuring a suitable husband would spare no effort to make that happened. She also embodied every conceivable feminine stereotype you could imagine. She always and only wore pink. Cute handbags, every time. Beautiful, perfect nails, teeth, and hair. Her favourite song was by Aqua. Her voice was like a spring flowing on a summer's day, her fingertips like snow flakes in winter. And because she was born female, she will never, ever be judged for any of that. Can you imagine what people would say if she was trans? After graduating medschool she got a Ph.D in cell biology, before starting and managing a successful shipping company. I am very well aware of how much harder she will have had to work than her male peers to make that happen but as far as I am aware she has still not given up on her childhood dream. (And honestly her curriculum vitae probably makes her more successful at this, not less. What man wouldn't want to marry a devoted genius who didn't particularly care about her career but happened to be extremely good at everything she put her mind to? Idiots, that's who.) Sometimes stereotypes can defeat you in the most unexpected of ways.

The truth of the matter is that everyone embodies a stereotype, just not usually the ones you're thinking of. A majority of my trans friends, whether M2F or F2M (of which there is a roughly equal split), are non-binary. That means that they emphatically refuse "he", "him", "she" or "her" pronouns. They would not be caught dead in dresses, nor would they ever wear makeup, nor do they watch football, or drink beers with boys. Their body types tend toward the aggressively androgynous making assigned-at-birth-gender difficult or impossible to guess. Only when they speak can you know.

Even my cis friends are stereotypical. Nearly all of them are polyamorous working-class queer super-mums with no long-term partners in their early 30s and you have to take everything associated with that stereotype to understand what makes it true, from the nose rings to the queer cuts. Honestly, nothing has changed since the 80s. But that's not a stereotype you were expecting, was it?

As for myself, I'm pretty normal. I have a small list of kinks which I share in common with many other cis women. I like wearing dresses and painting my nails and feeling like others think I'm pretty. Do I do that because I like them innately or do I like them because I live in a cis-supremecist society where I am harshly-judged or even assaulted or murdered if I don't look the part? I don't know but your life being on the line is a pretty good incentive to start enjoying doing anything especially when doing something makes you get treated as the person you really are and not doing something gets you assaulted or murdered. Is "Why do you like doing that?" really a serious question when put into that context? This is the rock-and-a-hard-place intractable dilemna that trans women like me are faced with. If we refuse to conform to the stereotypes laid out for us by cis society we are "gross", "disgusting", "perverts", just "men in dresses", "come on, make an effort". If we do "make an effort" we're "walking stereotypes", "vain, self-obsessed, interested in no one but themselves", and "all womanhood means to them is hair, fake tits and makeup". It is the same trap laid out for cis women of course, only deadlier.

There are lots of reasons why my life is better now and many of them are social because there are lots of terrible things about being perceived to be a guy when you're really a woman. Being expected to know the football scores by other men or to have an opinion on them. People thinking I'm bad with children. Women being afraid of me. Honestly do you want to know the first thing my best friend ever said to me? I was presenting as a guy at the time. It was in the kitchen of a mutual friend's house where I was making tea for the hosts of the party. I said to her, "Do you know where they keep the sugar?" and she said "I'm not interested in a boyfriend, sorry." (Sometimes I bring it up to tease her but honestly she knows that I know exactly where she was coming from when she said that.) When what you want most is to be friends with other women, being seen as a guy is a difficult place to start from.

Of course there's the physical stuff too. The self-loathing when you look in a mirror and see a guy staring back at you. The hatred of your own body. I have a recurring dream that my body is covered in thick, course fur. The cancerous, tumorous growth that grows and shrinks arbitrarily between your legs. It doesn't even look pretty! Your voice, which sounds like gravel dragged on sand-paper. (Honestly my voice is much higher and more variably-pitched but of course I got bullied for speaking like that as a child and had to teach myself to speak like a man so I didn't get bullied). Can you imagine being the heroine in a book by Franz Kakfa or a prop in a painting by HR Griger? Honestly it's like that. The crippling, unrelenting dysphoria. Natalie Wynn captured the experience well.

Is being trans based on gender stereotyping? No, absolutely not. It's physical, it's psychological, it's social. It's about lots of things. It's about wanting the freedom to be the person who you really are. I don't see how or why cis people like to stereotype us. But they do. Maybe a small minority of trans people do seem to base their identity on stereotyping. I tend not to get on very well with those people. Should that for a minute invalidate their trans ness? No, absolutely not. And it sure as hell shouldn't invalidate mine.

U.S. Citizen here.

• I have health care through my job.
  
• Never been shot at, never met anyone who has, although I saw a kid get kicked 12 feet through the air by a horse once, and he nearly died.
  
• Never suffered any form of discrimination. I work with brilliant and respected women, ethnic minorities, and U.S. immigrants, and all of them are treated as peers (and often superiors) by their white male colleagues. We go out of our way to find qualified diverse candidates for all of our positions, and then have to compete aggressively for them, because there is such a low unemployment rate.
  
• Was born in poverty, got federal financial aid to allow me to go to a state college. Worked hard, got through grad school on scholarships, and now I have a good job and have paid off all of my college debt (see also: insurance).
  
• One of my siblings runs a state of the art child care facility, leveraging their graduate degree in cognitive development to help people raise well tempered kids who have the social confidence to solve their own problems collaboratively, rather than employing arbitrary adult authority. Sibling came from the same poverty level that I did, worked hard, and now lives a very happy life.
  
• Everyone I know cares deeply about the environment. We keep our neighborhoods clean and free of trash. My vehicle gets 45 mpg on the freeway, and I don't have a daily commute to my job.
  
• My community employs over 2300 people in full time renewable energy and energy efficiency R&D, with an annual budget of around half of a billion dollars.
  
• The U.S. leads the world in Nobel prize awards. We are home to hundreds of individual award recipients, and a very significant number of them were not born here, but came here in their childhoods or early in their careers, because contrary to what you might have read, by a wide margin, the U.S. has more immigrants than any other country in the world.
  
• Our democratic form of government allows us to peacefully transfer executive power every 4 years, and we have successfully done so for over 240 years. Our two party system is the world's best known mechanism for marginalizing extreme political viewpoints, preventing them from codifying into law. Let's compare that to the track record European parliamentary democracies. In the early 1920s, most of Europe's 28 states could be described as parliamentary democracies. By 1939, 16 of them had succumbed to dictatorships. By 1941, only 5 of them remained intact. I recommend "The European Dictatorships 1918-1945" by Stephen J. Lee for a deeper delve into exactly why the parliamentary form of government is so susceptible to extremism.
  
  I know we're not a perfect country, but damnit, nearly all of the people here are good, honest, hard working, caring, courteous, want clean air and water, and to help people. But we also tend to keep our heads down and favor getting real shit done (via science, R&D, and business) rather than trying to kick around the political football every waking moment of our lives. I think our biggest weaknesses are that we aren't generally any good (yet) at addressing mental health issues for the general public, which causes a lot of people to have to grapple with their mental illnesses and addictions alone. But there's a robust national conversation happening about that. We also have a culture of overwork, which exacerbates physical and mental health issues, and actually diminishes our ability to strengthen the social ties that keep our communities strong. Finally, we haven't figured out how to effectively mobilize the vast concentrated sums of wealth that our business leaders are able to accumulate, without causing moral hazard at the bottom of the economic ladder, but we have 50 states competing to figure out the best ways to do that.

I’m gay and get fucked up the butt quite a bit so I think I can offer some advice.

First off, what you wanna do is buy this and this.

The enema bulb is pretty easy to use. You fill it
up with warm water and insert the tip into the asshole. Squeeze the water completely into the rectum, hold it in for a couple minutes (or however long is she’s comfortable), and release the water back into the toilet. This will loosen up any residual poop that might be in the rectum and bring it out when the water is expelled. Repeat the process another time or two or until whenever the water is coming out clear and free of any poop.

Now, as far as the fiber supplement goes, THAT is where the magic is. This will help clean the digestive track really well so that not no poop is left behind. I swear by it and I recommend it to anyone and everyone who is interested in anal sex.

I personally take the men’s version but this stuff works so well that I’ve actually had unexpected anal plenty of times because I felt confident that I was clean enough for penetration even without douching first. Granted, if I know I’m having sex, I do prefer to douche beforehand, just to be extra safe, but this supplement has never let me down. Worth every penny.

Just read the reviews for yourself. I think the men’s version has better reviews overall because it was originally designed and marketed for gay men since we’re the ones always engaging in anal sex. The women’s version is exactly the same thing except that the capsules are smaller.


Some other tips:

Use lube. Lots and lots of it.

If your girl is into drinking alcohol, it would help her relax quite a bit if she gets buzzed first. Marijuana would do the trick too if she’s a smoker.

And if you are into it, licking/eating her ass during foreplay would stimulate that area a whole lot. It helps relax the butthole and it would probably turn her on to the idea of anal even more. By doing that, you’re basically “making the hole hungry” as we say in the gay community.

Hope this helps and best of luck to both of you!

I started out with this Smith and Wesson one and liked it, but then I figured it made more sense to have one for EDC that I could actually use every day (i. e. one that has a built in pen.)

The smith and wesson one has a very diffuse light on it. The Miren has more of a concentrated light. I get compliments all the time on the Miren by other men who think it's a very sturdy item. Girls don't care to write with it. One guy suggested getting some number 5 rubber o rings to put along the ridges on the grip which seemed like a solid idea. I've yet to buy any though. I haven't been unfortunate enough to have to use either in a self defense situation, but I've practiced with it enough to feel confident that it would buy me time for an escape if necessary. I keep the Smith and Wesson one in my car as a window punch. Pretty great to have around. I'm a nurse also so I use the punch tip to open up medication packaging and other pesky, thick plastics. Since I don't have a knife with me at work, the sharp tip is great for this purpose. Also, the pen cartridge can be replaced whenever needed so that's a nice feature. The smith and wesson uses a AAA battery while the Miren uses 3small watch batteries (included). Kinda wish the miren used AAA as well, but the small batteries make room for the pen cartridge. Your mileage may vary, but I have been very pleased with both of these.

At the base level, it's because the basic human function of categorization is how our brain makes sense of the world. People find comfort in assigning rigidity to their beliefs. While that's not always a bad thing (for example, I'm very rigid in my beliefs that (1) nazis are bad and that (2) I should continue to breathe air in order to live), it can often lead to nonsense like you're describing.

People like you're describing often have the base belief that "science tampering with nature is bad". They feel that "natural" always means "better".

This base belief may have originally been reaffirmed by some things we all share as true. For example, the understanding that eating a tomato is generally better than eating candy.

However, these folks didn't allow education and logic to inform the boundaries of their beliefs (for example, arsenic is poisonous, even though it's "natural"- so the "natural always means better" belief cannot be true in all cases). So, it expands into "if science tampering with nature is bad, and GMOs are science tampering with nature, then GMOs are bad."

This problem is magnified by the fact that the work with GMOs is very vague to most laypeople. It can conjure an image of a white lab coat-ed person injecting an evil-looking syringe into a monster-vegetable. It may even relate unconsciously to themes of "evil tampering" by "science" in media. Even examples as silly as the poison apple offered to Snow White stick in our brains, and our brains use those examples to weigh our gut reactions. (in fact, the brain uses something called the Availability Heuristic, which basically boils down to "if I can think of an example that proves my point quickly, then my point must be true!) The brain uses all this info to make the snap judgement that GMOs = BAD/UNSAFE.

In comparison, breeding a vegetable is easily pictured and conjures images that relate to what we understand as safe. Picking a good-looking vegetable, re-seeding it, harvesting again.. the historical aspect also plays a part, since we unconsciously associate our ancestors with having "special knowledge" or a "special relationship" with nature.

In the end, it doesn't meant that the person is evil or stupid. What's happening in their mind is a very normal, typically human process. But when we recognize that these "brain shortcuts" are making us miss out on logical conclusions and evidence that contradicts our beliefs, we have a problem.

One of the best ways to (gently) address this with someone who you think could be capable of facing a change in their beliefs is by looking for common ground and then gently moving from there to things you don't agree on. By finding a new "example rule" for the brain to draw on, it eases the way to change. (For example, if a young child thinks that EVERY square shaped object is a tablet, you need to expose them to many other square shaped objects before directly challenging their idea)

>"I think we agree about a lot of things. For example, we both want to feed good, healthy food to our children! And we both agree that care has to be taken in making sure that our methods of creating food is safe and sustainable. [found common ground]

>
>I'd like to find out your opinion on how farmers, over the generations, have influenced food by selecting the best crops to then seed and re-grow. For example, broccoli never actually existed until many, many generations of farmers bred it by combining different plants and re-growing the best results from those plants. Watermelon was like that, too! Am I correct in assuming that we agree that those efforts were VERY worthwhile and resulted in better food for everyone? [expanding common ground]
>
>Awesome! Then, let me ask you this: if the choices of which plants to seed was done by a scientist after careful study, that wouldn't be objectionable, would it? A farmer would likely welcome their input! [treading into conflicting belief systems]
>
>So, then, if there was a way to look into the actual DNA of a plant and choose which plants to combine at that level, that would be very useful, wouldn't it? Of course, care would need to be taken that the right plants be combined, so many tests would have to be done. But it might be a way for farmers to be able to skip many generations of trial-and-error and find a faster way of doing what they've always done! One example of this is with wheat..." etc.

Of course, many, many people simply aren't ready to face a conflict in their beliefs, especially if they've wrapped their identity around the belief ("tampering with nature is bad, therefore GMOs are bad, therefore I am smart if I avoid GMOs, therefore I am smarter than others who DO support GMOs, therefore I shouldn't trust any evidence that they give me to the contrary"). With those people, don't waste your time argueing.

-TL;DR: It's how the brain works in order to make sense of a ton of info quickly.

-

If the psychology side of this interests you, this book was an interesting read on how the brain uses "shortcuts" to influence our choices and feelings, specifically when under the pressure of fear.

>We've been dating for 1 year. Neither of us can poop when we're over at each others home

I moved in with my boyfriend in March, and he was super embarrassed about farting and pooping. He would shut the door, turn on the fan, then turn on BOTH the shower and sink. It was hilarious.

One time both of us were really drunk at home and he accidentally let out one of the most powerful farts ever. I mean it vibrated the whole couch. I was crying from laughing so hard but he's like "oh come on, it was an accident." Fast forward and now he farts pretty much every chance he gets because I always laugh.

Also, I bought a poop sign on Amazon. Now every time he poops he's like "gotta put out my poop sign!" He obviously still shuts the door and turns on the fan, but no more of that sink and shower ridiculousness.

We have a pretty great relationship. I love him so much.

U.S. Citizen here.

• I have health care through my job, and it's usually damn good most of the time.
  
• Never been shot at, never met anyone who has, although I saw a kid get kicked 12 feet through the air by a horse once, and he nearly died.
  
• Never suffered any form of discrimination. I work with brilliant and respected women, ethnic minorities, and U.S. immigrants, and all of them are treated as peers (and often superiors) by their white male colleagues. We go out of our way to find qualified diverse candidates for all of our positions, and then have to compete aggressively for them, because there is such a low unemployment rate.
  
• Was born in poverty, got federal financial aid to allow me to go to a state college. Worked hard, got through grad school on scholarships, and now I have a good job and have paid off all of my college debt (see also: insurance).
  
• One of my siblings runs a state of the art child care facility, leveraging their graduate degree in cognitive development to help people raise well tempered kids who have the social confidence to solve their own problems collaboratively, rather than employing arbitrary adult authority. Sibling came from the same poverty level that I did, worked hard, and now lives a very happy life.
  
• Everyone I know cares deeply about the environment. We keep our neighborhoods clean and free of trash. My vehicle gets 45 mpg on the freeway, and I don't have a daily commute to my job.
  
• My community employs over 2300 people in full time renewable energy and energy efficiency R&D, with an annual budget of around half of a billion dollars.
  
• The U.S. leads the world in Nobel prize awards. We are home to hundreds of individual award recipients, and a very significant number of them were not born here, but came here in their childhoods or early in their careers, because contrary to what you might have read, by a wide margin, the U.S. has more immigrants than any other country in the world.
  
• Our democratic form of government allows us to peacefully transfer executive power every 4 years, and we have successfully done so for over 240 years. Our two party system is the world's best known mechanism for marginalizing extreme political viewpoints, preventing them from codifying into law. Let's compare that to the track record European parliamentary democracies. In the early 1920s, most of Europe's 28 states could be described as parliamentary democracies. By 1939, 16 of them had succumbed to dictatorships. By 1941, only 5 of them remained intact. I recommend "The European Dictatorships 1918-1945" by Stephen J. Lee for a deeper delve into exactly why the parliamentary form of government is so susceptible to extremism.
  
  America has it's problems, many problems even, however to call us a shithole is simply disingenuous.
  
  /rantover

Your Money or Your Life was a pretty good book that explained this well. The audiobook is narrated by the author and if given the chance, I'd hold her underwater until the bubbles stopped. She had the worst voice I've ever heard.

The Millionaire Fastlane was also a readyy good read. Highly recommended.

The Millionaire Next Door was a fantastic read and the book that got me started thinking about financial independence and the concept of FIRE. It's a bit dated (late 90s I think) but still some amazing information in there.

Check us out at /r/financialindependence and /r/leanfire. If you haven't, definitely visit /r/personalfinance and check out the sidebar and wiki - there's some AMAZING information and guides for all ages and walks of life.

I wish so hard that I found out about this stuff and had the resources available now when I was 18, and not when I turned 31. But oh well, such is life.

/u/typhuslol do feel free to PM me if you want to chat! I'm happy to share the lessons I've learned in the past few years of pursuing financial independence!

I've been on 3g of l-glutamine and a high dose probiotic (100 bil. Cfu, with multiple strains and prebiotics) for about 3 months now. This combo is really working great for me!

Good luck to you, man. Glad you're feeling alright now.

If it's your first cage and you are experimenting for the first time I would advice to stay away from the ones with a tube. Don't misunderstand me they are al lot of fun but in my opinion a bit to intense to start out with. I would start "easy" and work my way up.

The "open" steel design certenly is a good choice for hygiene.

I would strongly advice to choose a belt with an internal lock like the one in the following link. The don't jingle in your pants when you walk and dont pich your skin.

​

https://www.amazon.com/CXQ-Healthy-Plum-Shaped-Long-Supplies/dp/B07RWLS7GH/ref=sr_1_297?keywords=steel+chastity+cage&qid=1559071286&s=gateway&sr=8-297

​

If you want any more advice or have further questions feel free to reach out. I'm 23 and know how scary it is to take your first steps in this direction and to ask people. :D

You mean a doorbell? xD There are already products you can use instead. Called like ''mail chimes, mail sensors etc'' -Some with pretty reasonable prices on a few of em if you look around.

https://www.amazon.com/Mail-Chime-MAIL-1200-Wireless-System/dp/B00103FDDU

here's one on amazon. Hope you find what you're after!

You'll probably find this book interesting: Destined to Witness, Growing up Black in Nazi Germany, by Hans J. Massaquoi...

https://www.amazon.com/Destined-Witness-Growing-Black-Germany/dp/0060959614

The blurb: "This is a story of the unexpected.In Destined to Witness, Hans Massaquoi has crafted a beautifully rendered memoir -- an astonishing true tale of how he came of age as a black child in Nazi Germany. The son of a prominent African and a German nurse, Hans remained behind with his mother when Hitler came to power, due to concerns about his fragile health, after his father returned to Liberia. Like other German boys, Hans went to school; like other German boys, he swiftly fell under the Fuhrer's spell. So he was crushed to learn that, as a black child, he was ineligible for the Hitler Youth. His path to a secondary education and an eventual profession was blocked. He now lived in fear that, at any moment, he might hear the Gestapo banging on the door -- or Allied bombs falling on his home. Ironic,, moving, and deeply human, Massaquoi's account of this lonely struggle for survival brims with courage and intelligence."

It was a good read! And should answer most of your questions.

they do! I got a metal one on amazon for $15. looks like a zippo and has a nice weight to it. I'd recommend getting a more open faced version like this: https://www.amazon.com/Rechargeable-Windproof-Flameless-Electric-Cigarette/dp/B077STQDV3/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?keywords=arc+lighter&qid=1555429141&s=gateway&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1

I got mine from the same company and they'll replace it outside of the warranty if anything happens to it.

I am really sorry to hear you lost your kitty, and I know first hand how much they can mean to you.

I know it probably isn't the same one, but Hansa makes amazingly life like stuffed animals and their black and white cat looks... remarkably like the one you describe.

https://www.amazon.com/Hansa-Cat-Plush-Black-White/dp/B002B6AUT2

They also make a more "floppy" version they call the cuddly.

https://www.amazon.com/Pussy-Plush-Hansa-Black-White/dp/B01MTVU70Q

Just a quick note: The Hansa toys are very expensive and often fakes are sold. Look up the item you want on the Hansa website and buy through a reputable retailer, even if you have to wait for it to be restocked. :)

This is what I could find. https://www.amazon.com/Black-White-Plush-Kitty-Valentines/dp/B00HTBKC24/ref=sr_1_31?gclid=CjwKCAiA5JnuBRA-EiwA-0ggPfHmoneFcbmcr0VUOzw-wC2KEZ9oic9TjDc1khUr6QgmWhRULTyxPhoC0OYQAvD_BwE&hvadid=178130971385&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9018570&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1o2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=471899776014203832&hvtargid=kwd-18120591683&hydadcr=25335_9913998&keywords=tuxedo+cat+stuffed+animal&qid=1573345987&sr=8-31

And then when searching the manufacturer, Burton & Burton, I found these:

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/637708086514090395?q=burton+%26+burton+black+and+white+stuffed+kitten&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS864US864&sxsrf=ACYBGNQNF4ZpFYAFBPV4rjsX5ORZWMiGVA:1573346475431&biw=1920&bih=969&prds=epd:8555969526508247303,paur:ClkAsKraXzFnK7P4VHMGKhvrot2nK_7JGpM4miOmThbUaPAjonDiD8GTTkzI1qGzJdRj2gl94wAiUP7YwkNvvBb3_j5Ooie6xQAMadA4IXojV433P-1GkO9DARIZAFPVH70_qf1OW5KYOZ6lFGoLkw2EYH5Y6g,prmr:1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjOuomwtN7lAhWtUt8KHdEiD9sQ8gIInwQ

and

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/18049711179383646912?q=burton+%26+burton+black+and+white+stuffed+kitten&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS864US864&sxsrf=ACYBGNQNF4ZpFYAFBPV4rjsX5ORZWMiGVA:1573346475431&biw=1920&bih=969&prds=epd:18048978568857398016,paur:ClkAsKraXwdhivZ_ordbIZ8BT_JPLhXpa8mylQsfymn5yE7cti-XvnGodsecoqZNVEwuJy7GVAG3wqKZXdfH9arQrGnwCvRa67oh-8Vx7lqN4yhkiGVvQk8YqBIZAFPVH73bNJC6Yw5o-wMY9lJ-_sp1C_pFkw,prmr:1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjOuomwtN7lAhWtUt8KHdEiD9sQ8gIItAQ

​

I hope you find your friend.

Was it something like this?

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007N6LREW/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_l.1XDbF4R5QE4

It looks pretty similar to the drawing you made

The Mangroomer is great for me.

https://www.amazon.com/MANGROOMER-Ultimate-Shaver-Absorber-Extreme/dp/B00FULYKG4

This one ? Faithful Friends black and white cat soft and cuddly toy
or this? Douglas Scooter Black & White cat
( Google search results )

Could he be a Russ Sam? Google search results

Dude, trust me on this, this is everything you’re looking for:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00FULYKG4/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1520095175&sr=8-2&keywords=mangroomer&dpPl=1&dpID=41ovcs0FJoL&ref=plSrch

I found these two cats that look similar to your description. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Förster Stofftiere 3480 Katze schwarz/altweiß sitzend 30cm https://www.amazon.de/dp/B002Q5IW5C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ac2XDb5HT9ZRV


Standing Black & White Cat Plush Soft Toy by Hansa. 27cm.4221 https://www.amazon.de/dp/B002B6AUT2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_zb2XDbDFMTQJ2