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Ok, ingredients time. I used this recipe for the crust. A good flaky crust is all about the elbow grease and keeping your dough cold. If it gets warm, the gluten will activate and your dough will get smooshy. no one likes a smooshy pie crust.

Use good ingredients, too. This kind of pie is a process, so you might as well use better quality flour, like King Arthur and fancy butter.

Chill everything before you use it. The vodka (use something good, like stoli) needs to hang out in the freezer before you use it, and the water should be ice motherfucking cold. Hell, put the flour in the freezer too.

I tried using a food processor, but mine isn't big enough. Use a pastry blender, especially to chop the butter into tiny cold bits. Use the rubber spatula in a folding motion, not a mixing motion, too. That's what makes it crispy, because when the little pockets of butter and shortening melt in the oven, they make little air holes. Remember, you want to manhandle the dough as little as possible to keep it cold. When you're working it it'll start out very crumbly, and you want to smoosh it together just enough to stick together into the shape you want.

You can also use honey whiskey in the dough instead of vodka if you want. cinnamon whiskey (like fireball) makes it a little too cinnamony, but that's up to personal taste: cinnamon crust + cinnamon filling = too much cinnamon. I like the crust a little more neutral.

When you roll it out, use a vinyl rolling mat. It'll make it infinitely easier to flop it into a (glass!) pie pan without tearing the dough, and it's easier to measure your crust and make sure it's the right size.

for the pie filling itself, use whatever apple pie recipe you find that sounds good. I went with this and subbed the bourbon for a mix of cinnamon whiskey (fireball) and rum, because that's what I had. I like the rum version better, but you do you. Don't use cheap booze.

There are a variety of apple types you can use, but the basis for it should be something tart, like granny smith apples. different recipes call for different blends, but cut more than you think you'll need, and mound them up in the center of the pie- they'll shrink.

If you need to make a low-sugar variety, don't sub out more than half of the sugar for other stuff. sucralose works well, and the flavor of it disappears pretty well in the pie filling.

Before you add the filling to the crust, dust the bottom of the crust with flour and give it an egg wash. most recipes say one or the other, but fuck it, do both. why? this keeps the moisture from the apples from making the bottom of your pie soggy. don't forget to eggwash the top of the pie too, so you get that gorgeous crust.

also, when you bake it, put a baking sheet under the pie, because most likely the filling will leak out and you don't want to scrape that off the bottom of the oven.

you'll probably have some leftover dough and apple mix. make a little tart with it in a small bowl.

Pop that pie in the fridge once it's done. It'll make it easier to transport, and it'll cut cleaner. If you're transporting a hot pie, be aware that the filling will leak and take appropriate steps to protect your car.

Again, the secret to a good pie crust is the technique involved. this isn't a 'throw it in the pan and pray' recipe, but it will knock the socks off of everyone at whatever party you go to and shame your busy-body aunt who brought the store-bought pie.

Edit: always sift your flour!

This beast.

This book is more of a how-to than a recipe book, but if you're wanting to learn to cook on the fly, this book is great. A lot can be found online, but I love books.

I ended up going with America's Test Kitchen's recommendation and getting a Fagor Duo. Super easy and straightforward to use.