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> You're really determined to be contrary, aren't you?

I determined to explain the truth about FGM and MGM so these evils can be fought together. Together, we can stop it all.

> WHO did look into it

WHO push MGM for various nefarious reasons. Strange how no one wants to study the "health" benefits of FGM!

Take a deep breath and read on!

Note: I am against ALL genital mutilation of females, males and intersex. Please don't interpret this post as supporting any of these activities.

Everything I have posted below is factual; but it's supposed to be educational - to help folks clear up their confused thinking around this issue. Thanks

Genital Autonomy for all - Intersex, Male & Female

If the amputation of the mucus membranes of the male genitals results in a lowering of HIV infection; then it would not be unreasonable to assume that the amputation of the mucus membranes of the female genitals would produce the same effect. Indeed, as the total surface area of mucus membranes in females is so much greater than that of males, the effect may be even greater.

However, most western peoples will be repulsed by the idea of amputating parts of an infant female's genitals to obtain some future protection from a disease. All the more so, when nearly 100% protection can be obtain from HIV infection by use of condoms.

But this repulsion does not arise when the prospect of amputating parts of infant male genitals. This is clearly because such activity has become "normalised" in the west. This is the issue.

Like male circumcision, there are plenty of peer reviewed studies that show female circumcision is not a barrier to sexual orgasm and enjoyment. Some studies show that orgasm and enjoyment are reduced; and some show no effect.

You'll often come across members of the medical community saying that FGM has no "health" benefits, and if women have their clitoris amputated, then their sex life comes to an end. Then they say that MGM has lots of "health" benefits and that men's sex life is not affected.

But it's a myth that many women who have suffered FGM are unhappy and cannot have great sex lives. That's why they queue up to have their daughters' circumcised. Plus there are many so-called potential "health benefits" - such as a 50% reduction in HIV/AIDS.

The visible part - the glans clitoris - is only a small part of the whole clitoris. So when a woman suffers partial or total amputation of the external clitoris when undergoing FGM, only a small part of her clitoris is removed. Thus she often can enjoy a full and satisfying sex life.

The truth about the female clitoris

Learn how large the female clitoris is; and how the external glans clitoris is just a small part of it:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/cliteracy_n_3823983.html
http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/sexuality/a/clitoraltruthin.htm

http://www.amazon.com/The-Clitoral-Truth-Secret-Fingertips/dp/1583224734

"Seven Things to Know about female Genital Surgeries in Africa"

— By the public policy advisory network on female genital surgeries in Africa.

"Western media coverage of female genital modifications in Africa has been hyperbolic and one- sided, presenting them uniformly as mutilation and ignoring the cultural complexities that underlie these practices. Even if we ultimately decide that female genital modifications should be abandoned, the debate around them should be grounded in a better account of the facts."

http://www.taskforcefgm.de/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/hast81.pdf

Female Circumcision & Health Benefits

"Stallings et al. (2005) reported that, in Tanzanian women,
the risk of HIV among women who had undergone FGC
was roughly half that of women who had not; the association
remained significant after adjusting for region, household
wealth, age, lifetime partners, union status, and recent ulcer."

Note: when it's found that circumcising female genitals reduces HIV/AIDS it's called a "conundrum" rather that a wonderfully exciting "medical" opportunity to reduces HIV/AIDS.

http://www.iasociety.org/Default.aspx?pageId=11&abstractId=2177677

"Georgia State University, Public Health Theses" — a USA University of international renown:

The Association between Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and the Risk of HIV/AIDS in Kenyan Girls and Women (15-49 Years):

"RESULTS: This study shows an inverse association (OR=0.508; 95% CI: 0.376-0.687) between FGM and HIV/AIDS, after adjusting for confounding variables."

"DISCUSSION: The inverse association between FGM and HIV/AIDS established in this study suggests a possible protective effect of female circumcision against HIV/AIDS. This finding suggests therefore the need to authenticate this inverse association in different populations and also to determine the mechanisms for the observed association."

"This study investigated whether there is a direct association between FGM and HIV/AIDS. Surprisingly, the results indicated that the practice of FGM turned out to reduce the risk of HIV. While a positive association was hypothesized, a surprising inverse association between cases of female circumcision and positive HIV serostatus was obtained, hence indicating that FGM may have protective properties against the transmission of HIV."

http://scholarworks.gsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1113&context=iph_theses

"National Bureau of Statistics, Tanzania - 50% reduction in HIV/AIDS in women who have have parts of the genitals amputated:"

http://www.tzonline.org/pdf/femalecircumcisionandhivinfectionintanzania.pdf

Female Circumcision Does Not Always Reduce Sexual Experiences

"International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology" — a peer reviewed journal of international renown:

Female genital cutting in this group of women did not attenuate sexual feelings:

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1471-0528.2002.01550.x/abstract

"The Journal of Sexual Medicine" — a peer reviewed journal of international renown:

Pleasure and orgasm in women with Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting (FGM/C):

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17970975

"The New Scientist" (references a medical journal)

Female Circumcision Does Not Reduce Sexual Activity:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn2837-female-circumcision-does-not-reduce-sexual-activity.html#.Uml2H2RDtOQ

"Journal of General Internal Medicine" — a peer reviewed journal of international renown:

Female "Circumcision" - African Women Confront American Medicine

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1497147/

Medical benefits of female circumcision: Dr. Haamid al-Ghawaabi

http://islamqa.info/en/ref/45528

"Pediatrics (AAP)" — a peer reviewed journal of international renown:

Genital Cutting Advocated By American Academy Of Pediatrics

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/102/1/153.short

Genital Autonomy for all - Intersex, Male & Female

I actually love giving manicures to friends and family. My mom once brought me to her patient's house to paint the nails of 3 little girls. Cutest thing ever!

As for tips, some of it is really product quality/chemistry. I recommend two specific products: Orly Bonder as a base coat and Seche Vite as a topcoat.

The base coat prevents your nails from staining, and this one is rubberized (it feels sticky if you touch it), so polish adheres really well. This top coat dries your nails in about 60 seconds. I am an idiot and always have to pee right after I finish my nails. I can actually do that with SV. This combo has been able to make almost every nail polish I use last as long as I want it to last (for me, up to 7 days, but usually closer to 4).

To prevent chipping, it's important to use as few thin layers as possible. Thicker polish chips easier. The best polishes are ones that are heavily pigmented, but thin. I could probably suggest several based on your favorite colors. But my favorite brand is probably China Glaze. Oh! Also to prevent chipping and peeling, don't flood the cuticles. I leave a small amount of space as a border on my nail. You can see it pretty well here, especially on the thumb. I do this either by being sparing with my application or taking a paintbrush dipped in acetone and cleaning up the edges when I'm finished. It thins out the sides, making the polish less able to peel up from the edges.

It can be or it can't be. I started a couple of years ago (maybe 3?) and when I did, I spent about $120 for everything. Since then, I've spent a total of about $50. That includes blades and soap.

Really, to get started all you need is a razor and blades, then you can buy the soaps or creams piecemeal as you go. A lot of manufacturers will give you free (or cheap) samples of their products, so you can try before you buy.

My recommendations for starting out are:
razor
blades

You can get a cheaper razor, but I recommend a longer handle. You can also find nice older ones at antique shops for really cheap if you're willing to clean them up before using them. I'm not that patient, but maybe you are. The blades are a variety pack, so you can get an idea of what you like because they're all a little bit different. The last time I replaced my blades I bought these because they're really cheap (less than 10¢ per blade) and I like them a lot.

Eventually you might want to get a brush and some fancy soap, but I've seen brushes at Walmart for $5 or less.

There's a lot of fancy lingo that goes into wet shaving, but it's really not a whole lot different than using disposables. The only real differences are that you have to take better care of your skin (shucks), you don't have to press as hard with the razor, and you control the angle of the blade (a blessing and a curse.)

If you have any questions, please ask! There's also always the sidebars at /r/ladyshavers and /r/wicked_edge!

good manipulation makes people want to participate because it encourages trust. sales tactics rely heavily on it, but whether it is good or bad depends on the goal of the individual- sometimes the trust is misplaced, sometimes not. we look at it negatively, but it doesn't have to be. it's just effective communicating, mostly on a nonverbal level (using tone, body language, word choice, and so on), and is really just a codified method of getting someone to agree with you.

How to Master the Art of Selling by Tom Hopkins is a fantastic book on the subject, because really, you're just selling yourself in most of your jobs and social interactions. if you can do that, you can sell anything.

people like Trump, as well as other hustlers, will absolutely use this to get someone to willingly do something that isn't in their best interests.

tldr: trust yourself to be a good person.

Gooood, gooood, like the kink flow through you.

P.S.

For those questioning, interested in dabbling, or just wanna read into what the other side likes, here's some book recs:

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

The Loving Dominant

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

Different Loving: A Complete Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

There's a great book that addresses this. It's called Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love. It strongly urges people to date others who have a similar level of desire for and comfort with closeness, and goes into the biological drivers for why closeness feels so life-and-death important. Failing that, it gives practical tips for how to make your relationship less anxiety-provoking if your partner is avoiding closeness. Per the book, if your partner is prone to avoiding closeness, that tendency isn't likely to change. The communication tips these trolls are sharing here are gold. I'm trying my hand for the first time at a relationship with someone who also enjoys a lot of closeness and it is the bees knees. Near zero relationship anxiety for 4 months.

https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=attached&qid=1571751595&sr=8-3

I just use a cheap one from amazon, but it hasn't failed me yet: https://www.amazon.com/AIRBRUSH-COMPRESSOR--Airbrush-Published-Exclusively/dp/B001738DXU/

The ones with tanks are nice because they don't have to run constantly. That one is pretty quiet as well. On the more expensive side, people seem to like Iwata and Badger, but I don't have experience with them.

Yeah. I have this issue. I do some kegels and squats/lunges and then it wiggles into place so I don't feel the little tip hurting. I think it's because vaginas vary in depth as well, so we might just not be able to put ours in deep enough. Once it settles, it's not noticeable anymore and seems to shimmy up slightly. But feeling the tip makes me cringe. It would be cool if they could come up with a reusable applicator for the diva cup, like soft rubber tongs or something. If it's a huge problem, I've had awesome luck with SoftCups. I keep both the DivaCup and SoftCup on hand since I can have sex with the SoftCup in. It's not bell shaped like the DivaCup, so no pokey end. You can keep it in for up to 12 hours. It's not reusable, though.

I don't notice a thing! If it's properly placed, you shouldn't feel it at all. I go jogging/hiking with it inside and wouldn't even know it was there if I hadn't put it in myself!

It might be a little weird to insert and remove at first (it was for me) and it takes some practice to do it seamlessly, but IMO it's definitely worth it. It's SO convenient and you only need to take it out to empty it every 12 hours (or more maybe if you have a very heavy flow) - for me that's once when I wake up and once a few hours before I go to bed.

I feel you on the cost. I was nervous about that too - you can do what I did and try out some disposable Softcups first. There's a locator on the website that'll tell you if a drugstore near you sells them, but they're also on Amazon. I paid $5 for a six pack at my local drugstore. Same deal, change them every 12 hours, but you can't wash and reuse these ones. I actually found them much easier to insert/remove than the Diva Cup, so if you're on the fence, I highly recommend you give these a try first! :)

I recently tested positive for allergies cats/dogs/horses.

We have 4 cats and a dog. In hindsight, I should have known from the mild hives and itchy eyes but yeah. Some cats are worse than others and I feel like my body adjusts more toward my current pets than when I visit a strange dog, etc.

I take zyrtec 2x a day, once in morning once at night.

They're not allowed in the bedroom, and clothing is kept in the laundry room or bedroom, so minimizing hair on clean clothes at least.

I try to wash my hands before I touch my face/eyes.

I want to do allergy shots in the future, I think, but I don't think it's covered by my current insurance.

I saw further down your current apartment doesn't have doors - obviously that's not something you can easily change, but for the future, I'd work toward at least having a bedroom door.

It would help a lot having a 'safe zone' especially for sleeping. I used to sleep with my kitties and ended up using Ssscat to stop them from scratching to come in - totally fine now. Depending on your current kitties, if you have a doorway, it might be enough to stop them from coming in.

Talk to him face to face about how you feel. Be specific about when you feel angry or hurt. If he doesn't take you seriously, move on to someone who respects the kind of relationship cues you need to thrive. You should feel secure and safe in your relationship, not angry and abandoned. He may not need as much reassurance or attention, and doesn't understand where you are coming from. Talk about it! Share your needs with him.

I also recommend the book "Attached." It's a quick read and very enlightening.

Remember to be gentle to yourself. Grad school is stressful even when the rest of your life is good, so don't feel guilty about taking time to breathe and rest. You need to take care of yourself before you can help others - you can't pour from an empty cup, and even the oxygen masks on planes go onto yourself first.

It will be hard but you can do this!

If the mental health issue is more than just situational, look up Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. It was an eye-opening resource for me. Also, vitamin D!

I don’t wish to justify your sister’s avoidance but I was devastated to discover allegations of my late beloved grandfather’s possible sexual abuse involvement. The person who told me prefaced it with “Ooh there are dodgy things about him people have no idea of!”

I replied with a hopeful- “and I’m glad I don’t know them,” hoping she’d go no further.

She violated this boundary but there’s something cowardly in my attempt to avoid finding out the horrid things she accused him of. I hate her for telling me as it’s too late to verify its truth or- if needed - help the alleged victim. I wasn’t ready to let go of this image of the only man who truly loved me in a wholesome way.

Your sister might return to this once the possibility has sunk in and curiosity overtakes her.

In any case your recovery cannot depend on her or anyone else. Please seek help. Read books like The Body Keeps Score (by Bessel van der Kolk, on the effects of trauma) , Tapping In Resources ( by Laurel Parnell, on how to empower yourself with the strength and care you would receive from others) , and CBT For Dummies (by Rhena Branch et al, on how to apply Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to your thought patterns to think and feel more healthily and balanced)

Here's the thing, a pillow case isn't nearly as um, "porous" as a mesh bag. Your products maybe prematurely breaking down due to sweat. So you'd save money by taking better care of them. I also don't see how you wouldn't find a laundry bag where you buy your groceries.

Also, its only £3 for them. Here's the ikea site and here's the amazon site.

The trash bags are essential! I forgot to mention that, you are more prepared than me though I should really put some TP back in my stash. I need to add a bottle of water or two and hand sanitizer though for sure. Great tips. It's unfortunate we even need these things but it's better to be prepared. When I was pregnant I got these and I carry them with me too: https://www.amazon.com/Travel-John-66911-TravelJohn-Disposable-Urinal/dp/B000NV878S/ - I don't know if they'd hold a poop but they give me comfort in knowing if I was really really desperate and could find a secluded place I didn't want to leave a trace behind in then I might try.

https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139

I listened to it as an audiobook first which I actually liked a lot, since my library had the audiobook for free on the phone app. Then I bought it so I could take notes, look at the charts, and take the quizzes in the book. $9 for my used Amazon copy, $13 new

It's not only about the "avoidant" people, also has good segments on people who are more "anxious" about relationships, overthinking things, caught up in small details, wanting constant communication, etc.

Maybe try [anti-chafing powder gel](http://www.Monistat.com/ Complete Care Chafing Relief Powder Gel, 1.5 OZ (pack of 3) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FKLKXQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_X1WJybEP027JP)? I was a cross country runner in high school/college, and lots of girls used this stuff and/or anti-blister sticks to avoid chafing and irritation, and it's like a dry lube! Bonus, if you try the one I linked, it's just dimethicone, which is a main ingredient in primers, and I know some girls in college would use it for their thighs AND under their makeup as a primer, so, even if it doesn't work for the irritation, it could still be useful, so long as it doesn't irritate your skin.

Bulk pack of Wondfo tests from Amazon. :D No curious looks from other shoppers or the cashier!

But maybe you will have my luck: bought a big pack (25 or 50, can't remember which)... got positive result the day they arrived.

Make-up primer will do a lot to help the "my face is melting off" phenomenon. The best primers are dimethicone based. However, they are expensive.

Conveniently, the much cheaper Monistat anti-chaffing gel is also dimethicone. Buy a tube of it for $8 and spend the rest of your summer looking faaaaaaaabulous.

Pick up a copy of SM 101. It's informative AND entertaining. Like you, I was into it before I started actively learning about it, and then I realized how little I knew.

lingere bag

Buy one, your bras will thank you. They'll thank you even more if you use something delicate like the lingere woolite to wash them

This book is fantastic! Also Come As You Are if she's interested in really digging in about sexuality.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07PHD9P7P/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A3SLO1FLKAU4X&psc=1

it's this one! he told me $50, but it's actually a little cheaper, so even better haha

In case it's more than just the blues, I found that this book was far more helful than any meds that I ever tried. Good luck banishing the beast.

Ooh I can help here!! You can buy huge packs of test strips online for mega cheap. I bought this pack ($19 for 50) and they're going to expire before I could even come close to using them all!

Oh yes, ma'am! It is a gift from the gods. This one is my favorite. I also like the Sally Hansen one, but as I got towards the bottom of the bottle it started to get slightly goopy.

This stuff is the absolute best for that. Monistat Chafing Gel

Thank you for this. I think I need to figure out a way to have a situation somewhat like this.

Right now, he's so frustrated in general about it, he's like, "LET'S BONE! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO!!??" And when I tell him I don't know, he gets mad, doesn't believe me, makes crazy assumptions like I'm cheating.

All of that definitely doesn't help me get in the mood. And right now, I'm not able to just say, "SEX, let's do it." I don't like it. I know he's upset. But to have sex when I don't feel it, it just doesn't seem right.

---
EDIT: Since this is a higher comment, I'll put this here. Thanks everyone for the advice and wonderful words.

I ordered Come as You Are and Mating in Captivity. I'm going to give them a read and not-so-subtly leave the books out so he can see I'm doing something for the cause.

Buy this: https://www.amazon.com/Merkur-Long-Handled-Safety-Razor/dp/B000NL0T1G

and these: https://www.amazon.com/Personna-Double-Razor-Blades-Count/dp/B0077LAJT2/ref=sr_1_10_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1465613507&sr=1-10&keywords=double+edge+razor

Get your favorite shaving gel/cream and never worry about shaving again.

Have an IUD. I use these every so often just for the reassurance. Worth every penny.

Seche vite fast dry top-coat:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Seche-Vite-Professional-Coat-14ml/dp/B00150LT40

you're welcome

These work great. Any that say 'test strip'. They are easy to use.

You need this. Total game changer. I even got my dad to use it since it has such a nice non-greasy finish.

If you're paranoid about that still on BC, you can buy pregnancy tests in bulk on Amazon - 50 for less than $10 (not an affiliate link, FYI). It's still cheaper than the pill, and lasts a long time - let's say you get paranoid twice a month, this'll last you two years.

I have an IUD and have had it for three months. I love it so far. My periods are much lighter, though I am still getting a little random spotting (Supposed to for the first 6 months). I have gained some weight I attribute to it, but that's the only negative side effect, and neither I nor the BF seem to mind the weight that much. I was nearly underweight before getting it anyways.

Sorry, rambling. TL;DR: IUDs are awesome.

Nah, more like this http://www.amazon.com/Merkur-Long-Handled-Safety-Razor/dp/B000NL0T1G/ref=pd_sbs_hpc_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=09TG44ZSXJ15GWPXV4GA

Get these. Seriously, they are like 30 cents per strip and are what they use in hospitals.

I found the book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy helpful when I was depressed. Though by the time I was reading it I was self motivated to get out of my pit - which can be a very hard point to get to. I also suffer mostly from negative thought patterns so cognitive behavioural therapy worked well for me, your SO might be different.

Do you have a support system outside of him? Depression does not only affect those who have it, but also the people around them - especially live-in significant others.

Someone just linked to these

Wondfo pregnancy test strips!

You seem really frustrated and I feel like I actually have some useful information to offer, so I'm sorry if this feels obnoxious, but hopefully you'll gain something from it.

​

I'm the low libido one in my relationship. I had a lot of "serious talks" with my husband about it over the years. He wants more. I want to want more, but don't know how. I convince myself I'll make it happen. Do all kinds of things like get sexy underwear and wear them daily so I'm reminded to think about sex. We have subtle signals for "I want to have sex today" so we don't have to tell each other "Want some sex?" shit like that. It bothers me when my husband tries to initiate while I'm trying to take care of things that have to be done. I ask him to stop. Etc. and so on.

​

The issue was that we were misidentifying the problems involved. Yeah, all that stuff was true, but it wasn't *the* issue. I needed therapy. Like, a shit ton of it. I have a history of sexual trauma and it has my relationship with sex all fucked up. Besides that, I've been with my husband for ~15 years and all the habits and resentment and fear we have with each other around sex have been building and reinforcing themselves in cycles for that whole time. So trying to come up with these small solutions when the problems were much deeper, ingrained emotional shit, made no real difference, and we were stuck in our useless, frustrating cycles.

​

I'm not saying your husband has sexual trauma. He might, he might not. He may be ace or depressed like another commenter said, but it's a big assumption to say it has to be one of those. It may just be that he has low libido. But if he really wants to change and it's not working, it's possible there's a deeper issue you guys are missing. And if you keep trying to solve the small problems, you'll never get to the big ones. I also really recommend the book Passionate Marriage for both of you. It's a little self-congratulatory, but it has some good ideas that can really change the way you think about your interactions with your husband, and maybe break some of those frustrating cycles. Another book that really helped me was Come As You Are, which is geared towards women but includes science that applies to men as well, and I think would help any low-libido partner get a handle on what's happening with their sex drive.

​

I wish you luck, happiness, and satisfying sex.

This stuff will change your approach to summer outfits.
http://www.amazon.com/Monistat-Complete-Chafing-Relief-Powder/dp/B000FKLKXQ
Oh it's 95% humidity and I have a 6 hour outdoor BBQ in Georgia or Mississippi or Louisiana or whatever? NO PROBLEM let me put on this sundress and hell I might as well JOG there because I am IMPERVIOUS TO CHUB RUB. Any CVS will have it, right back with the other monistat stuff.