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If he's going to AA then he should be reading the AA Big Book. Living Sober is another AA book and has some good stuff. There are plenty of other addiction related self help books but AA is most effective when the alcoholic is really involved in the program so I think AA literature would be best.

You are doing your best to help him and I admire that. Often our first instinct when we see someone struggling is to provide them with helpful resources. This is definitely beneficial, but only to a certain extent. If you house a homeless alcoholic and drive them to AA, they might benefit greatly. If an alcoholic has a home, is attending AA or a treatment program, and is "not doing a good job," the vast majority of the time it is not due to a lack of resources. It is a lack of willingness or commitment to which ever program he or she is in.

If he's talking to a sponsor daily, actively working through the 12 steps, sharing at meetings, and he still is not making progress, it's possible a book could give him something he's lacking. But it doesn't sound like he's doing those things.

I think the most helpful thing you can possibly do is go to an Al-Anon meeting. Good luck.

You are good to support him.

Chocolate is nice, it can help with cravings.

A selection of soft drinks might be nice.

Some books or movies or TV shows or things like that to occupy his time might be nice. (Maybe a Netflix subscription or similar.)

Sobriety/recovery stories can be interesting. One of the best I've ever read is Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp.

Here's my thought on the best gift you can give him:
If you are happy about his sobriety and support it, then write him a note saying so. Maybe tell him why you are happy he is now sober, and that you're proud of him. (Or whatever seems best to you, I don't mean to put words in your mouth.) New sobriety can feel awfully lonely at times, in a way it's like saying goodbye to a friend. Having your encouragement in writing could be very helpful to him. Just a thought.

If you want to change your life, find an AA meeting or a Narcotics Anonymous meeting near you and GO.
Get phone numbers of people in the meeting whom you can call ANYTIME. Call those people before you start drinking.

This is a great book for people in recovery. I love it so much and recommend it highly.

Check out the reddit /r/stopdinking/, read and comment and post questions there too.

If you have a primary care physician, go to see him/her and tell them that you are struggling with your drinking. See if he/she can recommend or refer you to an inpatient or outpatient treatment program.

Tell a trusted friend or family member (who will help and support you) that you want to quit drinking and keep that person updated.

Admitting your problem and asking for help are great starts! Keep your chin up and the bottle down, and you can do it!

You sound like me, and a lot of people. Get some sober time, get comfortable, fall away from AA, and drink.

I don't have any recommendations other than keep trying. And, if you're up for it, go to rehab.

Why would rehab scare you? I've been twice and honestly it was two of the best months of my life. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it was a month off from everything except for taking care of myself. It's one of the only places and times in life where I was able to be honest about where I'm at in life, who I am, etc. You can't do that at work, or even around family. Society wants you to walk around with a big front and act like you got your shit together. Rehab you get to relax and drop all the bullshit. At least that's been my experience.

This time I read a book that's helpful. I read a few actually. But the one that came to mind is "Staying Sober - A Guide for Relapse Prevention". What I liked about the book was that it explained why we keep drinking and how not to do that. It aligns well with AA, but there's stuff in there that was helpful that I don't hear about in AA - like, the social, psychological, and mental effects of alcohol, cravings, etc. It helped me realize this really isn't about self-control and there are reasons for (and evidence to support) why we need to put recovery first and continue to do stuff like AA. https://www.amazon.com/Staying-Sober-Guide-Relapse-Prevention/dp/083090459X.

Whatever you decide to do, just don't give up. I'm not saying I'm done by any means (it's just one day at a time), but it took me a long time to finally get over a year and finally at least feel like I'm done with trying to drink. I have no idea if it was possible for me to fully stop earlier, or if just takes what it takes as they say, but it would have been nice to avoid so much misery I created by continuing to relapse.

Wishing you the best...

SMART Recovery Family & Friends is an alternative to Alanon and Johnson-style intervention.

It's based on CRAFT (Community Reinforcement And Family Training) which was developed by Dr. Bob Meyers.

CRAFT was one of the methods featured on the HBO series 'Addiction'.

There are online meetings available, a discussion board, and face to face meetings have started in some locations.

Most of the material centers around a book "Get Your Loved One Sober", which was co-authored by Bob Meyers, but there are other materials used as well.

The groups put a lot of focus on what you can do for yourself, first... and then how you can reinforce your loved one's good behavior while detaching yourself from their addictive behavior.

I've been a volunteer meeting facilitator for SMART Recovery for over 10 years, and I've heard a lot of positive feedback from the people using Family & Friends.

You nailed it! It's how you answer the urge. One book I read put it best with explaining it's like battling a clone of yourself because your brain knows how to talk you into taking a drink - especially when things are good. That's where I have to really resist the hardest these days.

One book I found helpful that wasn't a long or tough read is Rewired: A Bold New Approach To Addiction and Recovery ($6.85). It helped give me some new insights and a lot of things to think about.

One thing that I really took away from the meetings is that each time you mess up and relapse, it gets harder and harder to earn back the trust of friends and loved ones. I've seen parents whose kids won't talk to them because they can't deal with it anymore and vice versa. I've also seen people tear up in meetings because people have let them back into their lives because of sobriety. We sometimes forget that we are hurting those closest to us more than ourselves.

As long as you focus one day at a time on setting a good example for yourself, you'll build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make going forward to continue down the path of sobriety.

Saw your post on nottheonion but couldn't comment for some reason. I wanted to send you this:

/r/stopdrinking

https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Drinking-Without-Willpower/dp/1784045411/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=drinking+book+carr&qid=1554948065&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Smoke weed instead.

And if you can manage it, go on a camping trip for a few days, away from alcohol, where you can reacquaint yourself with what life feels like. I've been there. When I realized how good it feels to wake up with a clear head and could enjoy mornings again, that was probably the single greatest factor in helping me get out of that cycle.

Bill W, was greatly influenced by reading William James' book - the "Varieties of Religous Experience". Aldous Huxley wrote in 1945 a very similar book illustrating the same spirituality through a very detailed "Interpretation of the Great Mystics, East and West". A book which covers the same ground as James but I find personally a lot more readable

• http://www.amazon.com/The-Perennial-Philosophy-Interpretation-Mystics/dp/0061724947/ref=pd_sim_sbs_b_1
  
  
  In Steve Taylors Book "The Fall" - http://www.amazon.com/The-Fall-Insanity-History-Dawning/dp/1905047207 - he blames the desertification of the Sahara for six thousand years of unpleasantness. He says that Spirtuality certainly in the west and middle east was a direct result and contermeasure to balance out the ego-explosion that occured in man at that time. Freud describes this cultual ego explosion as super ego. Carl Jung, a pupil of Freud, argued that the only method successful in treating alcoholism was a complete psychic change brought about through ego deflation at depth - the sort of deflation that James describes. He told this to a patient of his - Roland Hazard who as a direct result joined the Oxford group where he met with Ebby T (Bill W's sponsor), gave Ebby James' book to read. Ebby didn't read it, he gave it to Bill instead and told him what Jung had told hazard. All this is documented in the "Alcoholics Anonymous" which Bill wrote (though I have added the names).
  
  If you aren't a book worm try this - Steve Taylor in an interview partly describing the his book Fall and the History of Western Spirituality - the soution employed by AA.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZrZYYAp7QQ
  
  TLDR; The perenial philosphy is the title of a book written by huxley in 1945. It describes what sprituality is. Modern western spirtuality grew up as a direct consequence to couteract a cutural ego explosion that occured 6000 years ago in the middle east as a result of climate change. The solution proposed by AA is ego deflation at large which brings about a complete pyschic change making alcohol a complete irrelavancy. Bill W just documented what had already been known for thousands of years and wrote it down in simple language simple enough for a modern day drunk to follow.
  
  Hope that Helps
  

One of the most progressive minds focused specifically on addiction that I've discovered belongs to Dr. Gabor Mate, and there are numerous, profoundly insightful and amazing lectures of his available to watch online.

Alternately, his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts is in my (addicted) opinion one of the most important books on addiction ever written.

Hope this was helpful. My heart goes out to you and your friend.

You couldn't be more right. I never realized the "kick" alcohol has. Telling myself each morning "I will not drink tonight" only to find myself at the store by 5pm refueling for the night. It didn't matter how much I was hungover, or how much I wanted to quit. I would ultimately be pouring a drink by 5pm on a weekday, and 11am on weekends. Alcohol is a poison, and it will catch up to you at some point. For me, rock bottom was the hospital with severe abdominal pain due to a swollen pancreas.

78 days sober and counting, I never realized how much I valued life. Life is beautiful when you don't drink. Drinking clouds your surroundings and everything beautiful in it. I thought alcohol made the moments great. It didn't. And it's not necessary. You'll see.

You recognize you have a problem. Run with it. You can do it. Listen to the audio book by Allen Carr. It will help more than you can imagine. It did for me. Very eye opening to a problem crushing society.

Good luck friend. Better days ahead.

Ok. So I know this is going to sound like bullshit but the Allen Carr book worked for me. I read the book and followed the instructions. I also stopped smoking using his book on stopping smoking.

They even do day courses pretty much wherever you are.

Also, a good psychologist is helpful. I live in Europe so mine is in my health care package. Almost every alcoholic I know has gotten to the point of why does it fucking bother.

I mean to be honest if I did not have my wife and my dog I would probably be dead already.

That is about all I can say really. Hold tight.

In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate, absolutely brilliant man and excellent writer. Helped a lot of things click for me. He also has talks on youtube if you would like to check him out there.

My mother is still abusing alcohol. My loved one is trying to control her drinking. One thing is for certain: Until your mother decides she needs to stop, she is going to keep drinking. If you are attempting to see her change, then you must be willing to change aspects of yourself to allow change to occur around you. This includes how you respond, how you react, and how you manage your time and priorities.

Get Your Loved One Sober has plenty of suggestions for how to interact with a person abusing alcohol and to take care of yourself. It is so important to keep taking care of you because it is so easy to get sucked into their world and let it slowly destroy your world. This book goes through aspects of the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) program. A place that you could share what is happening is through the SMART Family and Friends meetings.

The pain is temporary. You are strong and you will get through this. I believe in you! ❤️

I don't know if they have ACOA in your country. You can check here. http://www.adultchildren.org

This is a great book to read: http://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Alcoholics-Janet-Woititz/dp/1558741127/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1419142441&sr=1-1&keywords=adult+children+of+alcoholics

This is FREE today.
Recovered: The Cure for Alcoholism https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BYSQGK4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Bjr2BbNM0JZCS

Here is the mobile version of your link

I have been drinking now for close to 7 years and the last five years have been awful. I hide my wine and pretend that I didn't drink but end up mostly very drunk at night and acting weird in front of my husband and sometimes kids. I joined this group three days ago, and I feel I have found the first time people whom I understand. I read other stories that remind me so much of what I have done, and all this is a big struggle. This life can be a complete mess and full of irresponsible actions. Also, I know that people who never had an addiction to alcohol or other things like drugs than they may not fully understand what's going on.

I am now trying to understand why I have been drinking and if there is a way to stop it. Someone here in Reddit gave me a book and couple of video recommendations which I found it very interesting.

​

Book: In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts - (https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X)

Videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5sOh4gKPIg&t=3s

Crazywise (https://crazywisefilm.com/) & In Utero (https://www.inuterofilm.com/)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PY9DcIMGxMs

I would recommend you speak to your mother about stopping alcohol when she hasn't had a drink. Good luck and hope she finds her way out