Best products from r/asexuality

Okay .. there's a whole bunch of things you and she will want to learn about and understand in the realm of childhood sexual abuse.

You are 100% on the right path with your determination of asking her if she is okay, and being ready to stop if she becomes uncomfortable.

I strongly recommend that both of you do some reading on a few different fronts, there. I found the following useful:

Healthyplace.org

There is a lot of information there for just a four page article. You'll find yourself in the Sexual Attitudes chart, I guarantee it, while also getting a better understanding.

As far as books go,

The Courage to Heal

If you're only going to buy one book, that's the one. You'll find it engrossing reading for understanding her - a lot of times, you'll find snippets, single sentences, that make something "click" for you about her. She'll find the book very valuable as well - this is literally worth buying twice, if you have $33 to hand.

Depending how scarred she has been (psychologically) by the experience, she may or may not find

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving

a valuable read. If you've noticed that she has trust issues, or freezes up when you and she have a disagreement, that's probably going to be useful also. I found a lot of value in it for understanding my partner; she hasn't been ready to read it yet.

I have the polyhedral set of these. Chessex makes them, should be under $10 from their website. You can also get them on Amazon and most any game store. I always see this set at my local game stores but YMMV as each one is different.


Edit: Found on Amazon. Called the Gemini purple steel with white letters.

Polyhedral 7-Die Gemini Chessex Dice Set - Purple-Steel with White CHX-26432 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M9UDG96/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_VAXWBbQ8W211V

If you can find these IRL though it's better. Not price or anything, but the swirl will be unique to each set, so more black or white or purple depending on the pour. If your looking for Ace ones you'll want to make sure you get a good swirl. This picture makes it look more grey, mine are more purple. It all depends.

Edit 2: Forgot to mention you can get the all 6 set if the polyhedral isn't your style.

Finally I think the book that these articles are referring to looks far more interesting and open than the articles themselves.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1476762090/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=httpwwwgood07-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=1476762090&linkId=2b8af58ca5e16c3c0b37664231c4c0e8
>sexual arousal, desire, and orgasm are nearly universal experiences,

Nearly leaves room for us aces :). The author seems to be saying that to be different is normal. Not that there are no categories for different sexualities.

She's also pretty trans friendly and points out that the book is unfortunately not for trans women due to the lack of available research.

>First, most of the time when I say “women” in this book, I mean people who were born in female bodies, were raised as girls, and now have the social role and psychological identity of “woman.” There are plenty of women who don’t fit one or more of those characteristics, but there’s too little research on trans and genderqueer sexual functioning for me to say with certainty whether what’s true about cisgender women’s sexual wellbeing is also true for trans folks. I think it probably is, and as more research emerges over the coming decade we’ll find out, but in the meantime I want to acknowledge that this is basically a book about cisgender women.

Here you go, classic ring! Make sure to check if there's a cheaper model, I remember seeing the exact same ring model for 10$

4mm Thin Black Ceramic Ring for Him and Her Brushed Comfort Fit Wedding Band 8 https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B016EVR14G/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_H.i0DbFXD77SS

Edit: I forgot the existence of CAD and USD. xD

I don't know the price you're seeing with this link, disregard my comment if you see the price in USD haha.

Aww thank you!! It was a long road (re: the whole 29yrs of my life) to find words, and it’s amazing :) being asexual, even in nyc, is HARD!!!!!!

I got mine off amazon! Not my favourite company (#ughbezos), but it was a good price:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07917SN9M?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf

I'm so bad at this too! I can recall three different times when my friends have told me that some guy was "totally into me" and I was completely oblivious. I tend to be that way with body language in general as well. I found this, which seems to be a fairly straight-forward step-by-step guide to flirting. And here is the book they reference in it. I dunno, might be worth a read. In any case, it seems like it is something we may need to practice. :P

I love it! After a while, I didn't realize it was on, so i looked down and smiled when I saw it.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C8913XP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_nNlmDb1Q8VFB8

I got it off amazing actually. Really good material and affordable too!

Asexual Layered Cake Gay Rights Pride Week T-Shirt https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SYSBZWY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_LTlCDb7DVMZHM

This is my ace ring and I love it! It’s plain enough that if anyone asks who I don’t want to discuss it with, I can say I just liked the colours! It’s the only ring I wear and I’ve never been specifically questioned on it!

It’s not very obvious though. It looks like your twisting the ring not fidgeting with the chain that rotates through the center of the ring. It’s super discreet tbh. This fidget ring isn’t exactly the one I have but it’s pretty similar.

They come in a pack of six, in different sizes so you can find a good fit. It's an add-on item but it's less than $5. Just got mine after a whole debacle of buying several individual ones that didn't fit, and I'm very happy.

Link: https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B075WQ7R4N/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdo_t1_yznCAbD335EDD

ETA: They're silicone.

I think this is where I got it! But there are tons of different ace flags in Amazon so you may find other good ones just by searching the website :)

Hey there. I'm also a 19-year-old male macrophile, although I am turned on by giantesses rather than giants. I identify as asexual, and I think it is completely valid for you to identify as asexual.

When I use the term asexual, I refer to someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Note that this definition says nothing about sexual arousal; sexual attraction and sexual arousal are two separate entities. Therefore, it stands to reason that there can be people who identify as asexual and still experience sexual arousal.

Anthony F. Bogaert, professor of community health sciences and psychology at Brock University and researcher of sexuality, postulated this exact idea in a published article from 2012:
> "Given that some masturbating asexuals seek out stimulation
through fantasy or pornography, arousal/pleasure mechanisms
of their nervous system are engaged by this sexual stimulation.
Yet, this stimulation is disconnected from their identities: It is, at
least in part, an identity-less sexual arousal. Thus, these individuals
still seem to retain a lack of subjective sexual attraction
to others (or anything), despite physical arousal and seeking out
persistent themes in fantasy and pornography. Subjective in this
case refers to the I or the me in one’s identity as a person."

(It is important to note that, in this case, the term paraphilia is used to imply "less mainstream sexual practices" without negatively implying any dysfunction or 'wrongness'. In this context, consider it interchangeable with the term fetish.)

There is more discussion on asexuality and paraphilias in Chapter 10 of his book, Understanding Asexuality, which I highly recommend reading. The book is essentially a summary of his understanding of asexuality as a result of his research, but I feel like reading it helped me understand my own asexuality better.

Sorry, I might have gotten slightly off-topic. My point is, I don't believe that having a macrophilia fetish says anything about your sexual or romantic orientation. I believe that your sexual and romantic orientations are distilled from your real-life feelings (or lack thereof) about other people. Not your body - bodies are weird and can do things for no reason - your feelings.

If you don't feel sexual attraction towards other people, you can identify as asexual. If you don't feel romantic attraction towards other people, you can identify as aromantic. And if you decide you do feel sexual and/or romantic attraction towards other people, that's okay!

This leads me to one more train of thought - depression. I also live with depression. (Wow, we have quite a bit in common!) I know first-hand that depression can make it hard to be in-tune with your emotions and feelings. I don't know you, so I can't give you specific clinical advice - I'm not a doctor, anyhow - but I can tell you that I have gotten a lot out of seeing therapists who have helped coax ideas out of my head that otherwise would have stayed murky, sub-conscious thoughts. It's also worth noting that I had to visit a few different therapists before I found someone who I felt comfortable talking to and who I felt understood me. Again, I don't know you, but therapy might be worth a try.

Oh, and one last thing: there is nothing wrong with you. I mean that.

I hope you find this answer helpful.

The ring is worn on the third finger of the right hand. I found a super basic thin black ring on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/SOMEN-TUNGSTEN-Ceramic-Comfort-Engagement/dp/B016ETI9O4/ref=mp_s_a_1_7?dchild=1&keywords=Black+ring&psc=1&qid=1571596284&sr=8-7

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B016EVR14G/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 That's the one I got- it's not really solid black, more like dark gray, but it looks really nice.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VK2KV3Q/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 this is the steamer I bought. My best tip is hold the steamer on the creases and slowly slide it along. And do it until the wrinkles are gone.

I wasn’t a fan of the plain black band either, so I went with this one:

Jude Jewelers Durable Stainless... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07917SN9M?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I like to think the love knot is slightly ironic, but meh. A little pizzaz for this Ace!

That thing looks really tight. I hope its not cutting off your circulation. It also looks plastic. Try this tungsten black ring:

https://www.amazon.com/TIGRADE-Comfort-Titanium-Engagement-Polished/dp/B00DDFJXC0/ref=sr_1_5?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1537330747&sr=1-5&nodeID=7141123011&psd=1&keywords=black+ring

Its the one I have, and they say that Titanium rings have chakra healing properties:

https://meanings.crystalsandjewelry.com/titanium-aura/

Since it's titanium, its not painted and there will never be any paint removal.

https://www.amazon.com/Asexual-Nope-Ace-Pride-Shirt/dp/B07QMTLYKJ Here's a (nearly) identical shirt on Amazon. PROBABLY safe.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B07QMTLYKJ?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_image&customId=B07537PKB3