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Someone mentioned CBT, which is similar to DBT, which is what I came here to recommend. DBT is an AMAZING resource, and you should be able to find a weekly group to get her in NOW, and it will be more affordable. I'm positive there are at least a couple DBT groups running here. All Souls might be able to direct you to one, or maybe even Mission knows who you should contact. Without insurance, it'll probably be around $100/week, but you could ask about a cash discount perhaps.

Also, order the DBT workbook and read some of it each night with her. It's a wonderful resource and the information is SO helpful, that I personally think the curriculum should be taught in schools to the general population.

Workbook

Editing to add: Doing a daily mindfulness exercise is very helpful, too. It calms the nervous system and really helps to reset things. Some meditations include tensing and relaxing your body in order from top to bottom or from bottom to top, watching the flame of a candle for a few minutes while letting thoughts leave your mind as quickly as they come in, doing a sound meditation where you close your eyes and hyper-focus on sounds around you, counting your breaths until you get to 10 then starting over again, and envisioning a warm disc of light glowing in your chest and warming you with calm light.

Also, for immediate "distress tolerance", taking a bath can help, walking a dog or snuggling with a cat, distracting her with TV or a movie, putting lotion on your arms or legs, writing your worries/thoughts in a journal, even screaming into a pillow.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts tonight, and PLEASE PM me if you need any more info or support.

Here is some basic info about DBT. It is such a wonderful approach.

Much love and light to both of you tonight.

Mr Ayers publishes the The Anniston Star. "The Star gained a reputation as one of the few liberal-minded Southern newspapers. It was nicknamed "The Red Star" by George Wallace, because of its support of school integration — one of the few Southern newspapers to take such a stance." (wiki)

Mr Ayers new book "In Love With Defeat: The Making of a Southern Liberal" is getting great reviews on Amazon

""Clear eyed and perceptive, grounded in community and global in outlook, Brandt Ayers has spent a brave lifetime of commentary calling his beloved South to redemption. Now, summarizing that lifetime as a family newspaperman in Anniston, Alabama, Ayers eloquently insists that the road, though rocky, has been up, and that South and nation are more nearly one than at any time since the founding of the Republic." -Hodding Carter III, Professor of Leadership and Public Policy, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill"

Considering what is happening in NC these days (at the capital and elsewhere), Mr Ayers deserves a listen, and maybe some good questions too. Reddit of Asheville: meet an ancestor of r/localpolitics.

Checkout the Western Carolina Kayaking group on meetup.com. Even if you don't want to participate in meetups, you can get an idea of where to go and what level the water is at different places by looking at the past events and looking at the pics or reading the comments.

My husband and I just went up to Bear Creek Lake near Cashiers last weekend. It was a really scenic lake and without hundreds of houses lining the banks. There's also a huge waterfall you can hike up to the base of, but we didn't have time to do it.

There are a bunch of recreational lakes within a 1-1.5 hour drive. Lake Lure, Lake Junaluska, Fontana Lake, Lake Glenville and on and on. I usually just browse around on google maps, find a lake that looks nice and then Google some info about it.

For rivers, you'll probably want to look at taking a skills class or a guided tour where they let you bring your own boats, before trying it out on your own. The exception being certain stretches of the French Broad. You'll need a shuttle anyway for a river, and there are outfitters in Asheville who will drop you off at the put in for the Class I float and then you don't have to worry about finding it yourself.

You might also want to look into purchasing a river guide. My husband and I got Carolina Whitewater as a gift and it is pretty thorough.

Are you using space heaters? Since you say your neighbors have "more" I assume so. Space heaters may as well be fueled directly by dollar bills. They're the most expensive way to heat a home among standard sources. There are use cases in which they make sense, i.e., if you have a 2500 sqft house and only want to heat one room, it's better to run a space heater and leave the HVAC at 60F. A heat pump will use 1/4 or 1/3 of the energy as a space heater for the same amount of heat created.

Is the water heater in a heated space? If so any waste heat is just heating the house in that case, which reduces the negative effect of a crappy old heater... at least until summer! What's the temperature set point? That can be a big factor. Is your hot water scalding hot? If so, turn it down.

How old is the refrigerator? Refrigerators are powered 24/7/365 so small differences in efficiency can add up there.

Unless you're doing tons of dishes/laundry, things like dishwashers and washer/dryers aren't a big contributor. Those machines only run a few hours a week. Energy = power X time. So even if a device pulls a lot of power, if it runs 10 minutes a week, its energy consumption is insignificant. Conversely, if something runs 24/7/365, it can consume huge amounts of energy. Pool or pond pumps are a good example of that. We have a tiny pond with a moderate pump. If we ran the pump (~250W) 24/7 it would cost $22/month. Just for a pond pump!

As an analogy, consider vehicle gas mileage. The difference between 25 mpg and 30 mpg is giantif you're driving 200 miles per day for your commute. But if you drive 2 miles a week it really doesn't matter if you buy a giant SUV that gets 8 mpg or a tiny car that gets 35 mpg. Either way you're not driving enough to pay a significant amount for gas.

As somebody else mentioned, you can buy a Kill-A-Watt (https://www.amazon.com/P3-P4400-Electricity-Usage-Monitor/dp/B00009MDBU) to test anything with a plug. You setup the Kill-A-Watt with your energy cost (12c/kWh), plug the device into it, then it into the wall. Use your device normally for a week or so and it will tell you how much the device costs per day/week/month/year. This can really help you to understand what's going on. But, as mentioned, it only works with stuff plugged into a normal wall outlet, so if you suspect your water heater, HVAC, etc., it's not helpful for those.

The only two programs that I'm aware of are SMART Recovery and Rational Recovery. Not sure if Rational Recovery does meetings but there's a book called "The Small Book" which might be helpful if she's looking for a more secular recovery process. The author definitely spends a little too much time bashing 12-step for my taste but I found it helpful nonetheless

We had it tested but I cant remember off the top of my head what was in it. Yes the hot water smelled like sulphur and it would leave rust colored streaks where it was left to dry. I ended up having to buy this in order to clean it.

Great advice. I have a 2003 Chevy Silverado that had an "Aux" setting. I had something similar to the Scosche installed in my truck, with an aux plug that I could use. Google your make and model of car and "Aux" and you should be able to find the right thing to order. I had mine installed by the Stereo Man http://ncstereoman.com/info/category/home/.

Also, if you get that installed, I recommend this for plugging into your aux and being able to have bluetooth. Works great in my truck. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MSUWCZ0/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Let me go in depth into what I meant:


I don't care about Zeb Vance. Well, I do hope that he's taught about in Asheville schools, but I don't care about his legacy. He is not so important to the current city of Asheville that his name must adorn the downtown obelisk. But that's exactly my point. We don't have a statue of him downtown. We have an obelisk, that, asides from a plaque, does not carry any kind of Vance memento on it. It is a simple stone structure.

I don't see any reason to tear that down. Like you noted, Vance's legacy is already much forgotten. Why tear down the monument, when it can be edited? To most Ashevillians, the monument is more a place marker than a reminder of slavery. THAT BEING SAID, Vance's legacy is one of oppression. I don't see any reason for the monument to have to be related to Vance anymore, but there can still be information around it about the man.


In fact, if the monument was taken down, I expect there would be an plaque or something talking about the former monument. Luckily, we don't have to take it down in order to change its meaning. If you're interested in how the meaning of a particular era or structure can be changed very quickly, I recommend reading Confederate post-war revisionism, or this book.



edit: You're right my analogy about the building wasn't great. I guess what I'm trying to say is that an obelisk is more like a building than a statue. It carries no meaning that can't be repurposed. To me, it's more of a tool than a memorial. Cleopatra's Needle for example, may have been constructed using slave labor, and may have been used a tool of propaganda during Egypt's rule. But now, it sits in Central Park, a beautiful structure and nothing more. In short, obelisks, have no race, class, gender, or borders (unlike a statue, or at least, less like a statue). It's like having a fountain, and then destroying it because it honored a racist. There's no need! Just rename it, and everyone will still enjoy it.

I would recommend getting a bat box. Good for you, good for the bats! This guy makes custom ones for the wood in your area and is even available over the phone for help.

I have a few of Jeanne Lemlin's books but my most-used is Quick Vegetarian Pleasures. I love that she's not such a purist that the recipes must be made with hand-harvested organic dried beans, but a can of black beans is fine. She also doesn't use weird exotic ingredients that you only use once and then have a jar sitting in the pantry forever.

The library might have her books, and I've seen them at Mr K's too.

I got this one (it's on sale right now), and it works pretty well. I'm right off northern Charlotte Street, and I get 3 of the 4 major networks (CBS doesn't come in well), as well as a few other random channels. I think 7 or 8 total after I filtered out duplicates and kids channels. It's good enough to watch a couple hours a week on.

You do need to figure out which direction to point the antenna though, to get the most (or any) stations. I used antennaweb and the compass on my phone for that.

Best deal in town:
http://www.amazon.com/Kangzhu-Biomagnetic-Chinese-Cupping-Therapy/dp/B00AI1W8NI

Friend required.

The closest i have found in this area is vanilla-iced rainbow petit fours at karen donatelli bakery downtown - they have the same almond cake-rasperry filling but not the chocolate coating

I have ordered them off of amazon and they are perfect

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NSBEET6/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I have this reel mower for sale. I only used it twice and I'll sell it to you for $60. Works great, I just decided I liked using my weed whacker for everything.

this kind of indoor tv antenna strongly recommend to you, its outer design so cute, but the received signal depends on where you live. Check the link below: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FNKV32G?ref=myi_title_dp

hope this can help you!

Never tried to cast a stream, and I have never checked If there are blimps in my up time so not sure if these will be of any help to you. However I haven't had problems in the past year streaming from Netflix or Amazon or extended outages in Woodfin with Spectum except during power outages. I've been using this modem off their approved list and this router

Any outdoor recreation shops will have all the maps you need: REI, Diamond Brand, Frugal Backpacker, a lot of the bike stores, etc. This is the best map you can get for finding trails, planning routes, etc. Although it's not the most detailed map as far as Topography goes, find one of the more specific USFS maps for this.

http://smile.amazon.com/Pisgah-District-National-Geographic-Illustrated/dp/1566953324/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457370678&sr=8-1&keywords=natgeo+pisgah+map

If you want to watch live sports for free, without sifting through internet bullshit, spyware, and stress, you're going to need a TV and a high-quality amplified digital antenna like this:

(http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DIFIP06/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1)

All in-market NFL games are shown for free on FOX or CBS, you don't need any proof of cable subscription at all except for Monday night games that are on ESPN. You will also get to see a fair amount of college games on broadcast networks as well.

Ha, that's just my favorite Ola Belle Reed song. I'm actually in a bit of a cove, and have lots of trees and a ridge obstructing the southern view to the TV towers.

This is the antenna I bought. I pick up channels 7,13,21,33 & 50 just fine and a few other random ones sometimes.