(Part 2) Best products from r/blackladies

Hi.

You seem to have the same hair texture as me, very stubborn and difficult to manage and can get very frustrating.
Any cheap conditioner will do- I prefer Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner with Peppermint for co-wash as it lathers really well and makes my hair squeaky clean.


This is what works for me and its made my hair manageable, soft and very healthy:

Shampoo hair once a month with organix hair shampoo does not strip or dry my hair, but there are other cheaper shampoos you can use.

co wash with Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner with Peppermint twice or three times a week. Be generous with this,
always use a widetooth comb, you can get this at walmart

Cantu leave in conditioner works wonders in keeping my hair soft and moistened, i apply this after patting my hair dry then i use coconut oil (my hair loves this as its light but easily absorbed) to lock the conditioner in and cream of your choice, shea products work better for my hair type.

I deep condition my hair every other week or once a month just before i wash with shampoo, either i do the deep oil conditioner (olive oil, jojoba, castor oil with tea tree oil) or the mayo route.

Go to you tube and type in taking care of natural 4b/4c hair and there are lots of tips there.

As i mentioned this is my routine and it took a lot of tries but i finally found something that worked and most importantly did not break the bank.

You're a clever guy. Being of mixed race can be very confusing in the US because race itself is such a complex subject. This book helped me a bit, but there's a lot of stuff to disagree with in it: http://www.amazon.com/American-Mixed-Race-Culture-Microdiversity/dp/0847680134

I especially disliked the last article, but I felt some of the earlier articles were very useful in deconstructing race as a whole.

When it comes to race/ethnicity, it's kinda a personal thing, but it's also a how strangers react thing. white people tend to treat is as an heirloom thing.

note: I am not a black lady, so my opinion is not the one you're looking for. I'm just here because this is the best forum on reddit. everyone is really super nice and really insightful and it's really the only truly safe space I've found on reddit.

I like Samsbeauty as a force of habit. They don't have the most expansive selection, but they ship fast and they don't spam me; have been shopping there for years. If you're buying a synthetic wig, I wouldn't recommend spending more than $50. There are tons of good quality synthetic units in that price range and lower. Especially since synthetics are going to last you about 6-8 weeks, tops, with daily wear (speaking from experience). The ends are going to frizz and start looking a mess, eventually. You can mitigate it with a good spray (I bought this one) a flat iron, or even trimming, but texture change is inevitable unfortunately.

Cap construction for most synthetics is going to make high ponytails tough, but they're doable with a bit of finesse (there's tutorials for it). I'm a fan of Sensationnel's Cloud 9 line. The lace can come across ashy if you don't blend it, but the hairlines for the price are unbeatable. You won't have to do anything to it. You'd probably like this one, from the description of what you're considering. Not an insanely long length, not a silky "doll" texture, and would probably look really cute in a high pony.

Oh, and to protect your edges as well as secure the wig (no band needed), Wig Grip. 10 bucks. Wish they'd been invented sooner.

I'm not relaxed anymore, but here's what I do with my natural hair that I wear straight; I put it in a loose bun on the top of my head, wrap a rectangular scarf (or wear a headband) pretty snugly around my edges. After a workout, I take off the scarf, wrap it with a dry one, shower, then leave my hair wrapped for as long as possible. This worked really well for me and I'd wash my hair weekly at most.

Try a few things and see what happens. What works best is going to depend on how much you sweat and how your hair reacts. I didn't use any extra products on it before the gym and it was fine.

I'd suggest trying on a weekend first or on a day where you can test it out and see how it does so you don't have to risk going to work or school or whatever without knowing how it'll turn out, and to take some of the pressure off getting it right immediately. Good luck!

I don't think so. But it was chugging along fine until that part, with interesting factoids here and there (e.g. lie detector tests aren't really fair for introverts because we'll sweat more). There was a lot of skippable exposition on the author's not-so-substantiated observations, and I felt like extroverts sometimes served as a punching bag to make counterpoints.

Beyond the assertion that workplaces are increasingly designed for extroverts to the detriment of us all, IMO, the three best parts were on studies:

• Dr. Elaine Aron's work on "highly sensitive people" (HSP)
  
  
• The Institute of Personality Assessment and Research at UC Berkeley's finding that creative people tend to be introverts (that and other parts of the book are in the preview here)
  
  
• Psychologist Jerome Kagan of Harvard's longitudinal study of introverts and extroverts from infancy to adolescence, which shows some biological basis for these tendencies (e.g. theories that introverts evolved to be cautious survivors as opposed to extroverted risk takers) — and that introverted children are more like "orchids" that need special care and conditions to thrive.
  
  Also, I shared this graph from page 243 of "Quiet" with a few people, and I'm not sure they believed it (context was that introverts do better with less stimuli while extroverts need more to be attentive):
  
  "According to a recent study of military personnel conducted through the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, introverts function better than extroverts when sleep deprived, which is a cortically de-arousing condition (because losing sleep makes us less alert, active, and energetic)."
  
  Those were my take aways. Hopefully they give the flavor of the book.

I've tried a bunch of products from the companies you mentioned and many of their products have proteins. I forgot to add this article post to my first comment, it's really informative and so are the comments under the article.

I personally have problems even with aloe vera gel/extract and certain nut oils. Even avocado oil makes my hair brittle but I only really figured that out by trying the ingredients on their own. Every head of hair is different. Some people can tolerate certain proteins on a regular basis but not others.

More info about proteins in hair products: 1, 2

OMG if you have hard water, you NEED to get a shower filter. I really think it will help your hair alot. This is the one I used to use. It's pretty simple to hook up and it's easily available at Home Depot.

Oh if you tried grapeseed oil and your hair didn't like it, then definitely stick to argan oil! My hair loves Argan Oil too. It's a great one for protein sensitive and low porosity hair.

I just tried this! I'm brown/dark skinned, I can honestly never tell which since it depends on lighting and the time of the year, but my legs are hella pale compared to the rest of my body. Like so pale they could be considered light skin. I bought this self tanner and a mitt to apply it. I was pretty heavy handed with it and left it on for 24 hours. It looked so good! Left my skin looking nice and brown and finally matched the rest of my body. I'd definitely recommend trying it.

Ooh I have some good ideas!

Miriam Makeba - read about her she was amazing and I love her music, here are some good songs: Khawuleza, Pata Pata, The Click Song, Soweto Blues. One time she was even on the Cosby Show which for me as an African kid growing up in the 80s was like the best day of my life: here.

Josephine Baker, as others have said.

Nina Simone, there are some on All Posters and art.com too

Sade

Pam Grier as Foxy Brown

Once a week is probably best, but this is coming from the girl who has not cleaned her eyeshadow brushes and sometimes just buys a new one so I don't have to deal lol. Do as I say not as I do lol.

One thing you can do is get a color switch. It's basically a container with a rough black sponge that you can rub your brush against to get the color out. With this, I can use one brush to switch from bright pink to yellow to purple without muddying the colors ad it helps them stay cleaner a little longer. Here is a cheap one I found on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Zodaca-Removal-Brushes-eyeshadow-application/dp/B01IQUBYGE/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_194_lp_t_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=G5B60MX5JP8466VZW8TQ

Even just using a paper towel during the week can help to rub the color out.

I'm a fan of Vivienne Westwoods watches. (Unfortunately not a lot of black models model the watches but I fuck with Vivienne because like two years ago she called out the fashion industry for not using black models and then said she was going to permanently incorporate more black models to show solidarity, which I have seen a difference in her runway shows).

That being said, this is the watch I want to get my self as a graduation present. I'm a little tacky and I like dangly bits on my watches.

First one

Second one that one being my favorite of the two.

I would avoid buying it from Amazon or a third party seller because most of them are knockoffs which is why the can sell them cheaper-but they break easier. Buying them from the website is much more expensive but worth it imo.

The website

I use Virgo on my edges, and it's helped it grow back. It was recommended by my braider.

But what I think helped the most was wearing Havana braids. With micro braids I too lost a ton of my hair on my edges. But with Havana braids there's less tension on my hair since each individual braid is so large. Over the past few months my edges have slowly, but surely been filling back in. Right now I'm just doing simple 2-twists at night then taking them out in the morning. I will probably get more Havana braids in a month or two. I honestly am not sure I will get micro braids again, no matter how much I liked them :( But I do love the havana braids :)

Also be sure to let your hair rest after taking out braids!

Are you opposed to products with hydroquinone? If not, I use Nadinola nightly wherever I have hyper pigmentation and I quite like it. I don't break out much but I think it's somewhat helped clear my skin as well. It has a pretty off-putting scent though, which is part of the reason why I only use it at night, the other reason being hydroquinone + sunlight would just counterproductively cause repigmentation unless you're diligent about using sunscreen.

As someone else said though, you really should get in the habit of using sunscreen anyway! I'm very dark but still don't mess with uv rays so I use spf 110 from Neutrogena. It leaves a bit of a white sheen on the skin so I tend to use it beneath makeup. Also, if you want to increase absorption of the cream I mentioned above and maybe tighten your skin a bit, consider using a Derma Roller.

https://www.amazon.com/Partrade-Detangler-Brush-Lime-Green/dp/B0054CASGK/ref=sr_1_25?ie=UTF8&qid=1496956742&sr=8-25&keywords=horse+brush

Get this. I think you can get it for 5 bucks on ebay, but it's my favorite. I like a paddle brush if my hair is somewhat detangled ... the wet brush works or any other paddle brush imo. I don't really think the wet brush is better ... it just needs to look like a wet brush. The thing is you have to make sure you are getting the shed hair out or it's not gonna be as effective.

But I just took my braids out after 2 months and baby ... some conditioner and that brush ... My hair is without a tangle. It's def a lazy day brush imo because you really don't have to do much. Even when there is a lot of hair stuck in it it works.

Yes, yes yes.

The problem is that, compared to us, that the child having a temper tantrum over feeling inconvenienced and uncomfortable is 10 times taller than us, and can wipe us out with a single swing of its arm.

It's like the way school integration is happening in Hartford, Connecticut. It simply didn't work to make white families integrate schools through busing.They get "uncomfortable," cite something like test scores, and move farther away.

In Hartford, they used the money won in court over segregated schools to remake their schools into specialized magnet schools and marketing the hell out of them, so white suburban families would choose to send their kids into the city, achieving the goal of integration in an indirect but effective way.

With most people, we have to find the indirect way to effect change. There are few people in this world who can face their deepest flaws and have the courage to change. The number 1 response to a challenge of our beliefs is defensiveness and withdrawal. (I think I found that in [this book about the brain] (https://www.amazon.com/Makes-Brain-Happy-Should-Opposite/dp/1616144831/?_encoding=UTF8&tag=sharpbrains-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325), but it was from the library and it's been awhile.)

Although my experience so far has actually been different from what you've seen--in a super liberal area of a blue city in a blue state, white people I know have been trying to figure out what to do non-stop, and there were walk-outs at several majority high schools and universities.

Brown Angels by Walter Dean Meyers! It's a photo and poetry album of black children between 1880 and 1940, so it will grow with her as she learns how to read along. Every black child will find a photograph of a child from long ago who looks exactly like them in their Sunday best. As a kid I loved looking at their high button shoes and frilly dresses. Found the book again as an adult and blown away how beautiful our people are.

I understand your frustration at constantly being subject to "Look! A Black Person!" syndrome, but it really does sound like she was trying to strike up a conversation and didn't know what to say, and so chose the most awkward thing ever. Get her a copy of this, don't judge her too harshly... she was trying to be nice and didn't think that was a backhanded compliment, and let her know that next time, maybe she should try "Those earrings are great! Where did you get them?" as a conversation starter.

That being said, the fact that you did kind of brush her off creates a perfect opportunity for you to go to her later and tell her you didn't mean to be rude, but you're subject to racial comments all the time and it gets tiring. She'll be aware of that the next time she needs to interact with a Black person. She won't avoid them because she thinks they're all angry and rude, and she won't start conversations with "This is what everybody says Black people do but I don't think so!"

For easy makeup removal: Coconut oil! slather it on and wipe it off then either wash your face right away or in the morning. skin sensitivity pending.

Nails: I use these super cheap, and I use super glue cause I work at a bar and they work really well. They don't destroy your nails like acrylic because you're not doing all that extra shit with the acrylic and buffer. and I just keep a super glue with me, I test them periodically so if one is weakening I can just pull it and glue it back on. and if they do accidentally pop off they dont hurt like acrylics, really nice alternative for folks who can't justify nail maintenance prices.

If you're wearinf baggy sweaters you can wear tights and slim jeans under that's cute. Whats your footwear situation? That be a way to add some punctuation. 'youth' to me brings images of baggy/comfy college kids swag with hoodies and sweats. but its france so probably not. In the winter I layer with a hoodie with a letterman or starters jacket over it. a more european fitting style could be some drapey light vests (ignore the price I'm talking silhouette) followed by your over coat. What style is your outer wear? Blazers are more trouble than they're worth if you have to wear a layer on top imo. Good for spring.

Here's some long shirt outfit ideas that don't feel too youthful and not sexualized.

For me personally its not even really a transition cause when I'm in my hoodie and no makeup i still look mad young if it wasn't for my height. But I get wanting to dress up a bit sometime and feel like you're accurately expressing how you feel inside. Have fun!

Amazon is a good place to start looking. Here is a decent sized Billie Holiday. Not many Etta James

God I wish they had these Tina and Diana Ross ones in a bigger size.

Like someone else said, if you can find HQ (high resolution) photos online, any office/copy place can usually blow them up. Even put them on canvases. Model sites can be a good place (eg Alex Wek, Jourdan Dunn, Chanel Iman, etc).

I'm completely natural, and I just tried this out yesterday. I haven't straightened my hair in years, and currently my hair is as straight as in my relaxer days. The product claims to not alter natural hair texture and protect against heat damage, but I guess we'll see how true that is in a few weeks. To use the "system" you use the shampoo and conditioner, blow dry, then flat iron.


I wrapped my hair last night (took me a while to remember how to do that), and after taking it down my hair looks identical to relaxed hair. Even my edges and this ole kitchen are still straight. I'd post a pic, but I have to get around to clipping these ends first.