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It's a good thing you're not cutting anymore...

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Hey, I didn't even go to prom junior year and didn't have a date senior year. To be trite, it gets better. I'm guessing you're not even 18 yet, but people do get less shallow/more mature over time. A lot of the shorter dudes I know (myself included, at 5'5" - and my dad is 5' flat) ended up doing just fine. Here are some things you can do:

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1. Bulk up. It's an easy way to compensate for a lack of verticality. Plus, it'll give you a hobby and something to talk about, even if mostly with gym bros and fit chicks. You should also make sure to dress well. You don't have to "peacock" or any of that nonsense, just make sure your clothes fit and don't clash. You can compensate with shortness a little with a hairstyle like a faux-hawk or something, too.
   
2. Get charismatic and confident! There are tons of resources out there on how to develop good social skills, make good conversation, and come across as super interesting. Of course, you can only come across as super interesting by:
   
3. Becoming an interesting person. Find a cool hobby (or job) and get good at it, develop a good sense of humor, get well-informed and worldly. Maybe pick up a martial art or something similarly badass (I'm biased, as I'm a black belt and instructor).
   
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   It's absolutely unfair and absolutely sucks. Unlike weight, you have essentially zero control over it. You *will* have to work harder than someone taller. To the extent that it forces you to work on yourself, though, it's also a good thing.
   
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   Peter Dinklage is 4'4" and married to a total babe. It's not by any means hopeless.
   
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   For reference:
   
   https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand
   
   https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe0TLA0EsQbE-MjuHXevj2A
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Shen-Ku-Intergalactic-Universe/dp/0399527257

> My wife doesnt want sex any more and i just feel trapped.

Here are some links that might help. Anger / frustration are not bad emotions. They tell you when something isn't right. The reason that you feel the way you do is because your personal needs are being neglected in regards to sex and intimacy with your wife. Our society has conditioned us to believe there is only one way to be happy in life and it's the picturesque white picket fence life style. This works for a small group of people and there are more than one way to skin a cat so to speak.

You are right to be concerned about the impact that divorce would have on your children. I'm a stepfather of 4 daughters and it has been terrible for them, but that has more to do with the fact that their biological father uses the kids as weapons to get at their mom and try to continue to control her life. If you ever do get a divorce please don't ever do that. There are other ways to get your needs met but still keep your marriage intact and still be faithful to your wife. Deception is the enemy, communication is the key.

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Humans are one of the rare species that practice monogamy and there is a lot of supporting evidence that it's not for everyone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxQdLhOQf5c My experience is that metamours of my wife have only strengthened her appreciation for me and all that I do for her. New relationship energy (NRE) increased her libido and gave me free time to myself while she is gone but also more sex when we are together. Polyamory is not for everyone just like monogamy is not for everyone. What I find the most helpful is the framework that is part of it allows for communication in a way that's not usually present in typical monogamous relationships so even if you don't engage in polyamory there is a benefit from learning how to communicate with your partner better from it.

I would suggest doing some research about what your needs are and try to have a conversation about it with your wife. Avoid using statements of absolution, "you always" or "you never" are hurtful and usually incorrect statements made out of anger. Try speaking in terms of "I feel as if", "I need help to make sure my X need is met" are examples.

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/r/DeadBedrooms/

https://www.youtube.com/user/schooloflifechannel/videos < lots of really good videos about love and relationships

https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/the-truth-about-budgeting < lack of money is rarely an income issue and most often a spending issue.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

"Maslow's hierarchy places sex in the physiological needs category along with food and breathing; it lists sex solely from an individualistic perspective. For example, sex is placed with other physiological needs which must be satisfied before a person considers "higher" levels of motivation."

https://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379

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Everyone's different, but it definitely sounds like you could be ovulating or just finished ovulating. I've been trying to get pregnant for about a year so I know a ton about the female body (as do the other lovely ladies over at /r/tryingforababy!) Around ovulation your cervical mucus may have an egg white consistency that's stretchy (which you can see if you rub it between your thumb and index finger and then pull them apart.) Right after ovulation has occurred, your body also starts to make a bunch of a hormone called progesterone so that a fertilized egg can stick into your uterus (if there's a fertilized egg floating around in there of course.) Progesterone is known for making people bloated. Increased libido is also super common when you're ovulating.

Even if you're not actively trying to get pregnant, it's worthwhile to track your cycles to get to know your body better. You can pee on little sticks called OPKs--as seen here--and when the 2 lines on the strip are equally dark, that means you are having a luteinizing hormone surge that will cause you to ovulate within 12-36 hours. All very interesting stuff! Have fun fantasizing!

So, I've never read this book, but you might be interested in the book quiet. The gist is that our society over values extroverts. If you're an extrovert, it's easier to express confidence and impress people socially and land an interview. Introverts have to be successful almost based on merit alone, and that's hard when you're starting off your career. So, my recommendation? Fake being an extrovert occasionally. It's going to suck. But it will make it easier for you to accomplish the job friends and girlfriend bit. Don't do it all the time, because you wants friends and a girlfriend who like you for you. But do it enough just to get yourself out there.

I know I’m going to get bashed for this but this book makes some strong and fascinating points on why it is ok for kids to go up the slide...

It's OK to Go Up the Slide: Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399172009/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_aH8iDbTS2TXCE

Disclaimer: I am not a parent, I am not married and, I am not related to anybody who is neurodiverse. However-I have spent several years working within a few support agencies and non-profits in the field, and have worked with a wide array of individuals.

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I do not want this to be a reply that assumes I know anything about your position or difficulties, rather, I want to share some of the most useful ideas that I have learned in the past few years. While these strategies have helped me greatly, I don't claim them to be a quick save for your exact situation. After all, I am able to leave work and if tension rise between me and an individual I am able to switch staff members. You have a far more difficult and long lasting challenge. I am hopeful that they can be of some assistance in any case.

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• Balance their freedom and their betterment.
  
  On of my personal difficulties in supporting individuals at work is balancing their freedom alongside their health/betterment. Full freedom means they will spend all their money on Snickers and a TV without buying soap and socks. A betrayal of their freedom would be me dictating their foods (WE MUST BE HEALTHY), controlling their social life (you can't be friends with them), and forcing them to obey a strict schedule (Bedtime. Now.). Nobody wants that. Instead, we must find balance among the two and learn to pick the fights for the greater good. Sometimes they could have a rush of energy and really need to channel that toward something- often times they could kick the wall or headbutt me. The compromise is that we re-channel their energy; allow them to still decompress, but without injuring me. One resident LOVES to rip newspapers into shreds. Another likes to break down cardboard boxes. I've noticed that if they feel what they are doing is constructive to themselves or others, then the task is more compelling to them. Which leads to another observation:
  
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• Everybody wants purpose.
  
  It is remarkably easy to say that the disabilities of a person mean they have no responsibility- but we long for responsibility. I know of one individual who used a electric wheelchair because he had no muscle function below his neck. He was remarkably depressed (common among the neurodiverse) and had made several attempts on his life. He had sat in on a support group that was reading Man's Search for Meaning (highly recommended). The book is written by a psychologist who is describing his perception of how humanity finds meaning from his firsthand experience in the concentration camps. After finishing the book the individual spoke to the staff member leading the group (this was the first time he had spoken in literal years, to the staff's knowledge). He wanted to know how his life could have any slight amount of meaning. After working with him, they found that he could push a large broom through the halls of the support center where he stayed. To my knowledge, he has been doing this for years- and the idea that he has been able to support those who support him has brought him back from some of his darkest moments. I currently work with another resident who has recently stopped a lot of violent behavior when we taught him the "game" of organizing cards. By color, by suit, buy face value, all of them. He loves the idea that he can contribute his energy to anything productive in a world that offers to do nearly everything for him. Lastly:
  
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• Control cannot be the goal.
  
  All of the biggest melt-downs that I have encountered, among all individuals, have often come from staffs (myself included) inability to de-escalate the situation. I do not mean that we were at fault because of incompetence, I mean we were at fault due to our ignorance. And there is little more that we could do in those situations than try to learn from them. Example: I worked with an individual who was pre-diabetic and on a diet, but the guy loved to snack (don't we all?). Our goal was to get him to eat less junk food. My error in the situation was in telling him that he couldn't eat the junk food. I established myself as an authority over him that told him "no." That was a mistake, and not the proper way to support him. Rather, I should have reminded him of his goal, and further, reminded him whose responsibility that was. I learned that a better tool to work with this individual later on was to remind him of his own responsibility to his health. If it was a game of him disrespecting authority? Always. If it was a game of him disrespecting himself? Never. I don't claim this would work with everybody, mind you, but its a case where I needed to test the waters to change both his prospective and mind towards something that was more constructive for both of us.
  
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  All that said, you are in a remarkably difficult position. I can say that it will get more difficult, but at the same time you are going to develop more skills and tools to ease the burden. My biggest hope for you and your family is that your development of tools is much faster than the increased difficulty of problems. You are doing just fine! Your child likely cannot communicate their appreciation and affection to you in a clear way; but do not, for a single moment, allow yourself to believe that they do not love and care for you with the same intensity that you do them.

It sounds like you're in a mono relationship with your gf, and pursuing this girl would be against the terms of your existing relationship. So, you have 2 major options; a) Accept the flattery and move on, or b) talk to your gf about the way you feel and explore the option of opening your relationship (option c- Breaking it off with your current gf to pursue this other girl, seems like an option you are very against). It really comes down to what you need out of this situation - if you feel you're going to be losing out on a huge opportunity and you'll be experiencing a large amount of regret that may lead to resentment, then that should factor into your decision. If, however, you just enjoyed the ego boost but am not prepared to change your entire lifestyle for her, then you may want to just leave it be.

If you do choose to try and make a poly relationship work, check out the Taormino book [Opening Up][http://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships/dp/157344295X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375452490&sr=8-1&keywords=opening+up], and maybe join us over in /r/polyamory to discuss the pros and cons of ethical nonmonogamy.

As an individual in my 30's, with a girlfriend in her early 20's (as well as a gf in her 30's as well), i can say from personal experience that there are definite up sides, and definite down sides to the lifestyle. Although, for me, i would never choose anything else :)

I invite you to try meditation. This book could very well save your life:

https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrating-Mindfulness/dp/1501156985

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It will help you to gain the awareness that the things you are placing so much importance on are not really all that important. It's never too late, my friend.

Richard Dawkins is hardly an authority on any subject, especially philosophy. It doesn't get much more contradictory than Dawkins. Through the Darwinian materialist's lens, the concept of love as our culture has understood it for the past two thousand years (thanks to Christianity) does not exist. "Love" can only be reduced to a meaningless impulse meant to lead to reproduction. All the virtue and high concepts that we typically ascribe to love have to be dismissed as delusional.

Taking Dawkin's worldview into consideration, his assertion that you don't need physical evidence to know that someone loves you; that you can deduce this merely from the way one looks at you or through their body language, becomes outright absurd. Not to mention it doesn't even take into consideration the very real possibility for ulterior motives, for the human tendency of feigning & lying. This is inconsistent skepticism in so many ways.

What if I told you: You don't need physical evidence to know that God is real. You can feel His presence in times of prayer and you can witness His sovereignty through incredible synchronicities and unlikely events which seem to occur solely as an answer to your prayers. Looking from the outside, through the materialist's lens, this as unverifiable a claim as Dawkin's, yet his you will assent to and mine you will dismiss.

You are correct in saying that evidence comes in different ways - experiential evidence is one of them. And I offered you a method to experientially test out our claims for yourself, but you have also dismissed that.

In fact, you will dismiss literally everything I say, regardless of how sensible it may be, as you have already dismissed me as an idiot who needs to grow up, because of your presuppositions regarding people who have faith.

So please, I beg you, for the sake of truth (or at least for the sake of mere knowledge), read some of Richard Dawkin's opponents before hastily making up your mind. You will be surprised to find that there are highly intelligent voices out there (surprised thanks to Dawkin's tendency to pick the lowest hanging fruits as far as choosing debate opponents goes) who, frankly, outright destroy his arguments. Start with David Bentley Hart (a man Richard Dawkins would never dare debate, with good reason). Please do this.

I also invite you to come converse (civilly) with us on our Christian discord channel if you ever feel inclined.

I replied with a link to the amazon page on another similar comment. I'll post it here. I had a lot of fun writing it all by hand and illustrating. I think I got pretty good at both. I ended up having no real sales so I kind of stopped making them but the whole story is pretty much mapped out, intrigue of the Gods and all.

"https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0713YBSFX (Pt 1) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0716K19PH (Pt 2)

I think I ended up having one or two sales. It was fun. I wrote a lot more on paper that was never transcribed into the computer because I just didn't have the time."

If you want a good way to work out indoors (if that would make you happier), maybe get something like this?
https://www.amazon.com/FitDesk-Desk-Exercise-Bike-Massage/dp/B00CM9CBZY/
I have one and absolutely love it. There are also cheaper versions out there.

That’s a good question. I would recommend that the op examines the evidence for the historicity of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Here is a great place to start:

Cold-Case Christianity: A Homicide Detective Investigates the Claims of the Gospels https://www.amazon.com/dp/1434704696/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Nv2gDbYT5YDQQ

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helped me accept myself and then commit to living in a healthier manner.


I would suggest you you research it online or read this book.

The Diet Trap: Feed Your Psychological Needs and End the Weight Loss Struggle Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy



http://www.amazon.com/The-Diet-Trap-Psychological-Acceptance/dp/1608827097

It's ok to be withdrawn and to dislike other people. Many others feel the same, including me. I hate other people but can cope being near and around them. Empathy isn't something that's natural. It's a learned skill that takes time to build. If it were natural we wouldn't have wars or even violence. If you truly want to change it starts with opening up your mind.

My recommendation is to start with reading a couple biographies to learn what it means to think like another person. Since you're into music I suggest Scar Tissue. From there work backwards and find people with the most clashing ideals and read their biographies. Learning how someone you don't agree with thinks is easier with a guide and a biography is exactly that.

Buy a safety razor.

Replacement blades are 10 cents and will give you a better quality shave at a fraction of the cost. I'll never shave with plastic cartridge razors ever again.

And, you have the bonus of never having it clog with someone's pubic hair, plus the double-bonus of the fear factor most people have. Blade dull from someone else's use? Get a new one, spend only a dime, win at everything.

I was a small liar too.

This book really helped me a lot : https://www.amazon.ca/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Basically, stop hiding things to make yourself look better. People tend to like flaws and confidence better then akwardly perfection.

I bought these smart light bulbs off amazon that slowly light up when you turn them on, maybe they could help you!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B072Y5QNKJ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Maybe this book can help you. Very good read

https://www.amazon.com/I-Wish-Wasnt-Black-ebook/dp/B07998M3ZN/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1527803822&sr=8-2&keywords=mark+alan