(Part 3) Best products from r/dating

I would suggest this book

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Read the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

Spend some time watching Jordan Peterson on YouTube. Also, try reading his book 12 Rules for Life.

Change your life, change your way of thinking.

Check out this book, bro. It’s normal to fear rejection, this can teach you ways to keep it under control. 👌
https://www.amazon.com/Shyness-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Step/dp/1626253404/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=Y0HGSPZJBWC34JCS88QS

Live by the rule of "FUCK YES!"

When presented with the opportunity to hang out with her (or him), if your reaction isn't FUCK YES! then you're realistically not into them enough to warrant even continuing getting to know them. There has to be that mix of physical attraction and mutual interest and if it's not up to par, you're just wasting each others' time.

This book talks about the "FUCK YES!" mode of thinking:

https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24

Who the hell is Christian and Anastasia, and who cares? Some dude showing up at my work without my invite would piss me off. That’s some stalker creepy bullshit.

Just did a search… I think you’re talking about 50 shades, which is a terrible example of how to ‘be a man. I haven’t seen the book or the entire movie but I’ve seen clips & enough reviews and commentary regarding that content to see how toxic it is. The BDSM practices are not safe, sane, or consensual the dude exhibits abusive, controlling, manipulative, and stalking behavior. It’s shit twilight fanfic that turned into a readers digest kink curious fap fest. A fantasy is all that it should ever be. Not a blueprint on how to ‘be a man’ or how to have a relationship, let alone a kink based relationship.

And if has nothing to do with OP’s situation. She reached out to him. That doesn’t put him under obligation to show her interest (let alone become a manipulative controlling fucknut from a fantasy novel)

I would strongly suggest you research how to properly have kink & dom/sub relationships. You appear to think that that’s something to strive for… so yeah. Here’s an article and here’s a book to get you started. Spoiler: communication is paramount and it’s the sub that sets the limit. Not the top


Don’t use shit novels and shit movies as a blueprint for good relationships. Just… don’t.

M30 here
I remember when I had the same issue, I got a book on the history of the Samurai. I brought a highlighter and sticky notes to a cafe and tabbed the hell out of that book. I noted every clan, every distinction of the clan, famous swordmakers, beheading "showings". I took to those stories to heart. Those men exhibited such amazing discipline that I wanted to follow suit.

Aaaaaaand, when I met up with the chick, i would have the book in my bag. Eventually, she saw the book that was tabbed to hell. BOOM. She thought that was sexy as hell (don't stage it/force her to see it). She KNOWS that you have greater ambitions in life. That is pure catnip. ~10 years later and I still have that book. She isn't around, but that book is, and it is still catnip.

The trick is to maintaining a schedule time to devour the book. When she asks to hang out during that time (and she will target that time), tell her that you are a bit busy during that scheduled time. Say, "How about afterwards?"

Other good books about discipline:

Rules for a Knight

Man's search for meaning

Also, turn off your ringer/vibrate on your phone. Put that phone in a backpack. It took me until 23 to figure that one out. Ignore the phone. Why does she need an immediate response? She doesn't.
If she gets frustrated, she will take it out on you sexually. No joke. She will fight for your attention. Just keep up with that book. Even if you do get your intended reaction from her. You put that book down and you'll be worried all over again. Not fun, is it?

If she is really young, she might try to make you jealous. If that is the case, she is bad news. I doubt that you will get here, but it is a red flag to remember. Find another girl who will see that tabbed book. Profit$$$