(Part 2) Best products from r/everymanshouldknow

My son is 5 months. The best reading will depend on who you are, your life experiences, and what you are looking for. This is merely a list of books I've read between shortly before his birth and now and have given me a lot to think about as a man, a father, and a husband.

• The 5 languages of Love
  
• No More Mr. Nice Guy
  
• The Myth of Male Power
  
• Siddartha
  
• Living Nonviolent Communication
  
• Nonviolent Communication
  
• Punished By Rewards
  
• Unconditional Parenting (in progress)
  
  Also regularly reviewing information from CDC on Developmental Milestones. Great advice on what to watch out for and when, including what to childproof how and when.
  
  I wasn't going to write a summary, but now that I look at the list, It deserves some context. So, one sentence quick blurb per book in order, my take away thought from the book.
  
  
• What makes you feel like you are expressing your love may be different than what makes your partner feel loved -- know the difference and let it be an ongoing conversation.
  
  
• Be honest with people about your feelings good and bad with everyone you care about -- they are equally a part of who you are and you are cheating yourself and others when you don't.
  
  
• Be mindful of how you invest your time and energy. Money / career is great, but it CANNOT substitute for being present in the life of your family.
  
  
• Your child is not a continuation of your legacy or life lessons. They will not be born having learned from your mistakes. Knowledge (what you have to share) is no substitute for wisdom (what can only be gained from personal experience).
  
  
• Our culture does not emphasize need / feelings based communication.
  
  
• Empathy is something to be studied and practiced if we are to have or communicate good emotional well-being.
  
  
• Training kids into approval-seeking behavior is highly overrated and has perverse consequences.
  
  
• Nearly every parent may love their kids unconditionally, but is that what kids are really learning through your behavior?
  
  Anyway, not trying to claim these are the best books for everyone, but I am very grateful for the insights I gained from reading them. Happy to share more if you have any questions about them. Hope you find a selection that inspires you and that you never stop seeking more great books to read. Best luck and congratulations on your journey. :)
  
  

I've shaved my mashers and bang/taint/funhole for years and years, so let me contribute.

So let's assume you've never blessed yourself with a shorn scrotum: There are two methods you can use to rid yourself of hair. I'll go over both, since I've done both extensively.

---

>Shaving:

USE A NEW RAZOR FOR THIS. Old razors deteriorate and the blades get bent/dulled. You don't want dull blades tugging at hairs and nicking you up down there.

1. Trim up. Get a body-hair trimmer like a Norelco Bodygroom or just a regular hair-trimmer and take care most of the bush. Go with the shortest guard it'll allow-- Not using a guard is a good way to get a few nicks, not something you want down in your dangly bits. You want to get yourself short enough where a razor won't get caught and cut you up in masses of hair.
   
   
2. Get in the shower, and get that bitch nice and hot. You don't want to try shaving dry, hell no. Wash your hair, brush your teeth, do all of your regular shower things to give your pubes a bit to get wet and soften up. This'll make it so much easier, trust me.
   
   
3. Start shaving WITH the grain. Make a few passes. Don't press down on the razor, just let it do its job. You won't get it all in one go, and that's fine.
   
   
4. Go across the grain. If your hair looks like this: |||||, shave in this ---> direction, or this <--- direction. The best would be doing a pass of each.
   
   
5. Go against the grain. Now, at this point, if you feel smooth enough, feel free to stop. Going against the grain may cause irritation and ingrown hairs, so know your body and know how your hair responds. The biggest lesson is DO NOT PRESS DOWN ON THE RAZOR. You will only irritate your skin and nick yourself. Be patient and take your damn time.
   
   
6. Finish the job. If you shave your dick, you must also shave your balls, otherwise you might as well just not even do it. It may be scary the first time taking a razor to your jumblies, but it's simple and quite safe, if you're careful (For the record, I've never nicked myself shaving down below, yet I can butcher my face when I'm not careful). Just take the sack in one hand and GENTLY pull it to stretch the skin, and run the razor lightly over it, front and back, starting the stroke from the underside of your dick and dragging down towards your feet. Don't bother too much with grain direction here, it won't matter that much.
   
   
7. The Gooch/Ass/Asshole: You should also run over these areas with a hair trimmer/bodygroom before you go at it with a razor. The secret here is the same as the rest of your sensitive bits: Go slow, don't press down with the razor, and relax. The taint is tricky, but you can navigate it by feel pretty well. The ass/asshole is simple, except for the hole. If you're shaving your ass, you aren't gonna leave the hole hairy, so when you shave it, shave starting from the pucker and stroke AWAY. Do not shave ACROSS the sphincter, else you're just asking for a rough ride. Remember: DO NOT PUSH DOWN ON THE RAZOR.
   
   For your balls, you might want to make a run over them later when you're dry. Helps get those stray hairs.
   
   >Post-Shave Care:
   
   Once you get out, pat-dry the areas you've shaved. If you get razor burn, get some Vitamin E cream or moisturizer and spread a little down there. This will help the skin heal, and probably cool things off. I like to pat a little Gold Bond down there, because if I'm going to be fancy enough to shave my balls, I'm going to powder them like an English Nobleman.
   
   Itching: This is normal if this is your first time shaving/it's been a while since you've shaved. You shouldn't itch as bad or even at all the second time around, so just tough it out.
   
   Farts: You'd better be ready, because you can no longer sneak these fuckers. The bare skin will amplify your ass air to trumpet-like levels. Be prepared to use your flesh-valve a lot more efficiently after this.
   
   Sweat: You might feel like your ass/gooch is a lot sweatier than usual. It's not, you just lack friction from your now-missing hair down there. Invest in some boxer-briefs if it bothers you. You get used to this as well.
   
   ---
   >Depilatory Creams
   
   Alright, so now that we've covered shaving, let's discuss using chemical hair removers. I wouldn't use Nair on your private parts, you will burn yourself. You have to find something for sensitive skin (Which I'm sure Nair has now). I am a fan of Magic Shave. It's a powder you mix with water, then slather all over your crotch, wait a while, then rub off gently with a washcloth. You can get if off Amazon, or find it at most any drugstore in the shaving/hair removal aisle. Takes the hair right off and leaves you SMOOTH AS FUCK. It's messier and takes a little more time, but it's worth it in the end.
   
   They do sell it as a pre-mixed cream, but ever time I've used it it's been very lackluster, even after leaving it on for several minutes past the recommended time.
   
   
8. Test it somewhere like your inner thigh. Mix a small bit, put it on for the prescribed amount of time (7 or so minutes, in my case), and wash it off. Wait a day to see if there are any adverse effects. Skipping this step is not recommended, seeing as a small allergic reaction on your thigh is a lot easier to handle than one all over your fucking dick.
   
   
9. Mix. I use a mason jar, put in equal parts of the power and water, and shake it up. The I use something like a rubber spatula to scoop it out and slather it from dick (Try to limit getting any on the glans. It won't kill you, but you don't generally want depilatory cream on sensitive membranes like that) to asshole. The more you use, the better. Be sure to place a towel under you/do this in the tub to catch any that might drip.
   
   
10. Wait. Set a timer and just stand around a bit. Brush your teeth. Floss. I don't care, just wait out the 5-7 minutes.
    
    
11. Hop in the shower. Lukewarm water is the best for this stuff, I'd avoid going really hot though. Grab a washcloth and slowly rub the stuff off in a circular motion while under the stream. You might have to give some hairs a gentle tug to get them out, but it shouldn't take you any real effort. You may miss spots, and that's okay, you can get them next time. You should probably have a set washcloth just for this, because Magic Shave does have a tendency to stain.
    
    
12. Pat dry. If you left it on a little too long, it might feel somewhat like razor burn. Use some Vitamin E/Moisturizing cream on it and dial the time back a little next time.
    
    
    
    All in all, I much prefer using Magic Shave to rid myself of hair, because it leaves me MUCH smoother and isn't as expensive as wearing razor cartridges out. Enjoy shaving, and know that your girlfriend/boyfriend will REALLY appreciate it.
    
    EDIT: Thank you for the gold, kind soul! May your balls be eternally smooth and velvety.

/r/wicked_edge has lots of great advice. I'll boil a lot of it down for you though..

1. Stop using the 17-bladed nuclear-powered vibrating cartridge monsters with extra lubricating strip and kung-fu grip. Similarly, no electric shavers. They're really electric hair-ripper-outers. Not kidding. Kick it old school, like your grandfather. Look at a double-edge safety razor, or if you're really looking to go all-in, consider a straight razor.
   
   
2. Think about your shaving cream. Does it come out of a can using aerosol? Maybe rethink that too then. Plenty of options out there that don't involve chemical-laden aerosol-propelled goo. You can even really turn the clock back with a cup/bowl/mug and brush setup to whip up a nice lather. I'm a fan of Taylor of Old Bond Street. But, I've also used DR Harris products, and they're quite nice as well. One of the side benefits of my former job was all the trips to London, so I could just stop into the ToBS shop on Jermyn Street. Sadly, those days are past, so I rely on the kindness of co-workers that still go over. :) It's easy enough to get their products in the US, it just costs a bit more.
   
   
3. If you go the DE route, get a sample pack of different blades. Different blades work differently on different guys. For me, Derby blades are death. For others, they're amazing. For me, I work well with Astra, or can manage Feathers if I'm really careful (they're super sharp). My best blade though, has been a Personna medical prep blade.
   
   
4. Shave in passes. Do a with-the-grain pass, followed by an across-the-grain pass. If you're really not there yet, you can add an against-the-grain pass, but that's a pretty advanced move. Remember - you're doing multiple passes. You don't need to remove every bit of hair the first pass. You don't press the razor into your face (as you're probably used to!). This razor has heft, and a blade that's really sharp. You're accustomed to a lightweight razor that has blades that are as dull as a hunk of cardboard compared to your garden variety DE blade.
   
   
5. Use a quality aftershave. Try to avoid ones that contain alcohol, as it dries out the skin. I love the Nivea sensitive skin stuff. I can get it for way cheaper than that link shows at Walgreens, Target or Wegmans though.
   
   Many folks will try to sell you on the economics here, and how much money you'll save by shaving this way. While possible, it's not necessarily so. One can go bonkers and spend hundreds on the best gear if they wish. BUT, you don't have to.
   
   For me, I use a $30 brush from whippeddog.com with a $5 mug from Target. My cream (ToBS Jermyn St) runs about $15 a tub, which lasts me probably 6-9 months. My daily shaver is a $30 Edwin Jagger, and my blades run about $30 for a 100-pack. I get 2-3 shaves from each blade.
   
   If you run the numbers, you'll likely come out ahead by going to DE, get better shaves, and have better skin as well. It sure was cheaper for me. I used to go through a cartridge a week. So, that's 4 carts a month. I was spending $30-ish every other month on 8-packs of cartridges, or about $3.75 per week. Nowadays, that's 2 blades a week, at ~$0.30/blade, that's $0.60/week in blades. That's a massive savings alone.
   
   You can do the ROI analysis for yourself. Take into account what you'd spend on shaving supplies, and calculate at which points the cost lines cross (ie break-even).

I would offer my EMSK advice:

If you are on the receiving end of a road rage, your have one and only goal - defuse the situation for BOTH of you.

You start by completely suspending your ego. As of that moment YOU are not important at all!

Then offer a sincere apology. To make it sincere you MAY need to become an actor for a moment. Imagine you are really at fault (regardless of what your ego thought seconds ago!!!) and that the other guy has perfect excuse to be that emotional (e.g. his wife just streamed a video how she cheats him with his best friend, he got the message that his house burned down, etc).

If you are believe you can summon some more acting, offer some heartbreaking excuse (e.g. your wife just streamed a video how she cheats with your best friend, you got the message that your house burned down, etc).

Example:

• Stay safe (in your car) and out of reach (pull the window down few cm)!
  
• [high energy, loudness matches his] "Oh, my God! I didn't see you!!! How could I be so stupid! You did that and I just didn't... etc.. etc [continue until you see his steam is reduced]
  
• [bring the energy/loudness down] Are you OK!? Please, please forgive me! Good that you reacted so fast! You saved us both! Thank you for that!"etc [this should get him almost completely calm]
  
• [appeal to his compassion and go to normal level of emotions/energy/loudness] "You see, I just got a call that my house burned down completely! I should have not driven in such a state. Truly sorry, please forgive me!" [expect a hug]
  
  
  Preemptively: I don't care about law implications on admission of fault, etc. Where I live, acting (= lying) will be accepted as a good alternative to a physical self-defense ("But judge, I thought he would kill me!").
  
  Note: This approach is based (except the emotion/energy redution advice) on It's Not All About "Me": The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone by Robin Dreeke, the head of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program within the Counterintelligence Division

The brand that I recommend has been Under Armor BoxerJock 9". They are incredibly light, breathe well, comfortable, and will work well for multiple days of wear at a time.

To add to what neoshade stated in regards to blisters, generously powder your boots. Depending on what my goal is for hiking/ruck marching, I vary between the Nike SFB or the Rockies SV2. Your feet are incredibly important and a few bad blisters will really mess you up. If you can deal with the heat, I would strongly advise wearing 2 pairs of socks while you are hiking. Obviously, you still need to change your socks, and your boots will be tighter, but it's totally worth it.

Also, boot companies make boots, insole companies make insoles. Spending a few extra dollars on some quality insoles may save you a lot of pain down the road. I rucked and ran with poor support and developed plantar fasciitis. It's no fun and it will always be an issue for me. I spent quite a bit of money on my orthotics and while it doesn't help my feet breath that well, it definitely helps with support.

Putting Iodine in your water doesn't exactly have the best taste. You should try it out before you go out on this journey. Get used to it. I've seen people gag on it which only leads to further dehydration. I have heard people recommend the LifeStraw. I haven't tried it yet, but some of you may appreciate it.

To save on space and weight I don't even use a sleeping bag. I got a water resistant blanket and got a zipper sewn onto it. Then, I use a water resistant poncho and wrap myself in it so I'm relatively water protected on all sides.

I also have a beard. I usually keep it relatively short, but since I've grown it out, I've had this same issue. I tried beard oil (specifically this one) and a beard brush (this one), and since then, I've been beardruff free! The oil really helps keep your skin healthy, which prevents any flakes from forming to begin with, and the brush helps the oil really get in there and keeps your beard looking good.

Of course, I oil and brush my beard every morning after showering, and I would probably recommended anyone else with a beard do the same, but to each their own.

Also, check out this post on /r/beards that's helpful for learning about beard oil

Edit: Also, other people mentioned using normal shampoo/conditioner on your beard. DO NOT DO THAT. The types of oils in your beard are different for those in your hair. Using normal hair care products for your beard can result in a dried out beard, split ends, and other issues.

This kind of thing is generally very open to interpretation depending upon your personal sense of style, so feel free to pick and choose from everyone's suggestions. Here are what I'd call the, "essentials" that make up my closet. [Note: Due to time constraints I will come back later and update this post with more items. For now here are some formal pieces and shoes.]

Formal Wear:

• One tailored, well-fitting suit. Invest in getting the proper alterations done goes a long way, and can make cheaper suits look ten times better than their more expensive counterparts. Go with charcoal or navy as a first choice in color (charcoal leans slightly more formal, navy slightly more casual). - J.Crew Factory Thompson
  
• When you're dressing formally, you want to look your absolute best. A baggy or ill-fitting dress shirt can undo all the work put into making your suit perfectly. Invest in either made-to-measure items, or take them to your tailor. The upfront cost may be high, but it's a great investment that you'll be thankful for when you stand out in the sea of frumpy shirted guys wearing sack suits. The number of shirts you should own will ultimately depend on how often you find yourself needing to dress up, but I'd recommend having 1-2 white, one light blue, and one light pink shirts.
  
  Shoes:
  
  

• A pair of casual leather shoes - Sperry Top-Sider
  

• A pair of casual sneakers - Converse
  
• A pair of formal dress shoes (black, cap toe) - Bostonian
  
• A pair of less formal dress shoes Allen Edmonds
  
• A casual boot - Clarks Desert Boot
  
• An outdoor/hiking boot - Thorogood
  
• A pair of running shoes - New Balance

Thanks for taking a crack at the article and I like the topic. I would encourage you to take some time learn more about beer before writing about it. For example, it is just flat out wrong that lagers must be light in body, or are lighter in body in comparison to ales. That is not a defining characteristic and there are many that are quite full bodied (body has many factors but is largely due to residual sugars in the beer after fermentation). I'd suggest you try a classic doppelbock like Optimator or Salvator as a start. Those are not light in body and are quite delicious. Also, fermenting at lower temperatures is not the cause of lighter body (see above). Finally, both ales and lagers can be light or dark. Color is not specific to one style or the other.

One of my favorite intro books on the topic of beer is The Brewmaster's Table by Garrett Oliver. It's well written and will help you appreciate all the different styles of beer that are out there -- plus the cover is hilarious.

Those cremes are not that expensive I use this one and it lasts almost a year. I bought a ton of razor blades cheap but its fun to try out a ton and find the one you like. I recommend this site. We all all different and I used to think just like you and then I tried it this way. Its nice to get up in the morning, make some lather and enjoy a nice shave.

Anyone interested in a community on this should check out /r/bodyweightfitness

There are also some good books with similar progressions and ideas like You Are Your Own Gym or Overcoming Gravity

"You Are Your Own Gym" is also a book i've been recommended.