Best products from r/findapath

part 2/2

Relationships:

• You deserve to be in stable, happy, fulfilling relationships with your family, friends, partners, and coworkers. A large part of this is tied into self-esteem & what you think you deserve & what you're willing to accept, so a big part of it is figuring out where your line in the sand is. Everyone is free to do whatever they want, but there's a big difference between tolerating situations, getting by, and being content, versus actually being truly happy & having great, fulfilling relationships.
  
• It's important to realize that relationships aren't 50/50, they're 100%/100%. They are a tremendous amount of work, whether it's a romantic relationship with a partner or a familial relationship with a sibling or parent or a relationship with friends, and the road is often rocky, which is why you have to give a lot & deal with a lot during the course of all relationships. A lot of relationships die not because they're not good, but simply because of a lack of effort on both ends.
  
• A really good book is "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. The basic idea is that there are only a handful of ways people typically feel loved, and identifying your primary method of input can help you figure out what you want from a relationship, and also figure out how to make your partner feel loved. The five "languages" are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Do you remember the girl in high school who always needed flowers or chocolates or teddy bears to feel like she was in a loving relationship? That's not shallow, that's just her love language.
  
• If you don't know what does it for you & then if you're not getting what you like in your relationship, then you're not going to feel very fulfilled on a regular basis, and likewise, neither is your partner. So it's not just about drawing a line in the sand about what is & isn't acceptable in a relationship, but also about what you want to have in your life & what you need to give to others to help them feel loved.
  
• I really like the love-language concept because instead of just "I need to try harder in my relationships", it gives you a clear path forward, i.e. figure out what you want & figure out what those in your lives want & how best to give it to them on a regular basis. Like, my wife really likes the "time spent" one, so anytime I do something like plan a date, she loves it because that's simply how she feels loved, so my effort on that is a way to express my love for her in a way that actually makes her feel loved, rather than what I think will make her feel loved in my mind, but doesn't actually do it in reality, haha!
  
  Finances:
  
  
• The first thing to do is to pick a number, i.e. figure out how much you want to make every year, based on the cost-of-living in your area & the lifestyle you want to lead. You can literally pick this out thanks to sites like Indeed & Glassdoor, which provide realistic pricing tiers for intro, well-versed, and guru-level experience in different job categories. So the payscales aren't really a question mark anymore...you can literally figure out how much you want to make, research jobs that pay what you want & also match your interests, get training for them, and get to work!
  
• The second thing to do is to work out a personal financial system that manages your money for you. You will only accomplish what you set out to achieve & then work on persistently. You already have a solid principle saved up, but managing finances on a day to day basis successful always benefits from having a well-defined set of personal rules for handling things, which includes figuring out how much you want to make at your job & then getting educated in that field & pursuing jobs persistently until you get what you want, as well as having a solid financial system in place for how you deal with each aspect of your financial life - fixed expenses, variable expenses, debt management, retirement savings, living below your means, and so on.
  
• The first book I'd recommend is "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind" by T. Harv Eker, which is a little cheesy, but contains the critical component of changing your mindset about how you think, interface, and deal with money, which is the first place that people get goofed up - having a system comes later; learning how to mentally approach finances is a really huge first step that a lot of financial books miss, because they don't address the psychology behind why we do what we do & how we think.
  
• The second book I'd recommend is "The Millionaire Next Door: The Surprising Secrets of America's Wealthy Paperback" by Thomas J. Stanley & William D. Danko. This is a data-driven book, so it's not the most exciting read, but it illustrates a lot of actual, factual information & statistics about wealth management. I'd also recommend reading up on FIRE. Again, you only accomplish the things that you work on, so the more good stuff you can invite into your life through research, selection, and effort, the better your long-term results can be!
  
  Habits:
  
  
• "Atomic Habits" by James Clear is a really fantastic book about how habits operate. I'd highly recommend picking up the audiobook & listening to his story about how he got injured & used tiny habit changes to make huge impacts on his life. Lots of really fantastic concepts in this book!
  
• Just to throw an idea out, consider adopting a "personal productivity system" or "PPS", which is simply a set of methods for how to force yourself to do stuff you want to & have to do. Everyone has a PPS, and sometimes they're not so useful because you're stuck with no clear path forward in your life. Having a strong PPS enables you to solve problems & work on things effectively & efficiently. One of the tools I use in my own PPS is the "3P Approach" mentioned earlier, where I break things down into the premise, parts, and procedures required to accomplish what I have to or want to do, rather than just walking around confused with no idea how to really proceed & no idea what I really want, exactly.
  
  Anyway, don't get overwhelmed by all of this - this isn't all stuff you have to do overnight, instantly, in one big shot. It's like high school - you went there for years, chipped away on things, and eventually grew up & moved on. Improving your life isn't just reading a motivational poster or feeling happy for a day, it's a lifestyle change, and it's going to take some time.
  
  Just don't be afraid of the big amount of work that it looks like on the surface, because remember, we can only ever really do one thing at a time, so all of the stuff listed above was, for me, the result of decades worth of working on self-improvement to get better results & be happier in my life, because those were really big struggles for me for a long time! The good news is that it gets better, and your results are directly correlated to your decisions & your efforts, so simply by deciding that you want better & then chipping away on it, you'll start to do better & feel better over time!

Sup. A previous poster had some useful points (make sure your portfolio is the best it can be), but, I'll offer some knowledge without the need to stress about the competition or talk about 'settling'. Beating yourself up is not conductive to creativity, I'm sure you've found out already.

Having graduated from a major art school (RCAD) - art degrees are certainly more a curiosity than a direct translation to the work force - although congrats! I'm sure a lot is a blur to you right now. The last month of my senior year certainly was, and the month after, after days at a time sleeping in computer labs getting our senior thesis shows done, and then in my case, moving back home across country. Sleep, take a bit of time to recharge your battery, so long as your parents are cool with that.

Your portfolio is okay to get freelance work - you may be a little hard up to find a studio job - unless you can convince the right person you can translate your style to their pipeline. I don't really see stuff that would automatically peg you into a position of need like UI/UX (software development), tech art, or VFX. From personal experience, softer skills like design/concept art/illustration have a long list of candidates, and jobs in those areas aren't always priced well for 1st world candidates. If you haven't been good at pricing your contracts, make sure you get a hold of a pricing guide for industry standards. I see so many freelancers underpricing themselves out of desperation, it's not funny. Don't be one of those folk, it only leads to more of the same clients (cheap ones).

Right now: Get your portfolio into as many hands as possible, most places have art directors/recruiters who are relatively friendly. If you're right out of college (6mo-2 years), you may still be able to get internships at places, at the very least, you'll get some feedback as where to improve. You may have to travel to conventions to meet people who can then introduce you to recruiters/art directors. If people at your alma mater can get you in touch with people, don't be shy on hitting them up for help. Networking is key in this field, since there are a heap ton of candidates.

No matter where you go- establish a social media platform for your work, if you don't have one (if you do, you need a link somewhere on your portfolio, and vice versa). At the very least, Instagram, I tend to get the most views from there, but I also have Twitter and a somewhat neglected Facebook page (lol) . I've also heard decent stuff about ArtStation, although the folk there tend to skew towards concept art more than anything else. Post frequently, people enjoy feeling like being a part of an artist's 'life', and recruiters will check those pages to gage soft skills and process work. YouTube can be good for tutorial/process videos. People will give you feedback through these outlets, and may lead you to further ventures like merchandise, commissions, picking up new skills like webdesign/programming languages, or a personal project like a webcomic, illustrated novel, etc.

(Reddit has some decent subs like /r/SketchDaily that are fun to play around with, too...)

Be flexible. So long as the gig is fairly priced with an equal contract (ie termination clauses, proper copyright negotiation, etc), the small client job is just as good as working at a big studio. If you have skills in graphic design or front-end web design, or are willing to pick it up, it may help.

As for the day job - There is no shame at taking a day job, a lot of us have had to do it. At one time when I lived in Boston (having moved there from my smaller hometown on the west coast to start my career), I was working 60 hr work weeks at a position not requiring my degree, then, after shoving food in my mouth for supper, was either networking at gamedev / artist meetups, or going home to work on my portfolio/freelance. Weekends were more freelance work, with maybe some errands and the occasional event for gamedev or comics, or a local convention. Rinse, repeat for a few years, until I decided to move back home to save money.

There's no shame at staying at home if it keeps your costs low, either. I'm in my late 20s and after moving back, still live with my parental unit. On the other hand, I don't absolutely hate my life, I have a lovely pair of cats who keep me company, I'm finishing up a manuscript to submit to literary agents, applying to grad schools, and I just got back from research work with said parental unit (who works in higher education) in New Zealand. Mostly because my COL and lifestyle is flexible enough to allow things like that. Keep your art number one, and you won't allow yourself to get stuck in a day job, unless you find something else that you truly enjoy (teaching, a related field, etc!) That goes for any sort of career- many of my friends who don't directly do art, have branched out into related stuff like teaching, or found another field they liked more. Some of them started families. None of it is the wrong thing to do, just, do what makes you happy and keep your options open. Be prepared for a lot of people to convince you that you're wrong, just because of their perspective, but, not all of that critique is constructive, is it?

Tl;dr: Get your portfolio into many hands as possible, be aware of your rights as a creative professional. Be flexible with gigs you pick up, establish a social media profile to engage the right audiences, and if you have to pick up a day job or move back home, so long as you keep your eyes on the career you want, eventually things click together. It takes a lot of work, time, and mental strength to not give up in the creative fields. Good luck.

So I had written this all on mobile and I wanted to expand a bit. Certifications are starting to be a better way to go because they can get you into entry-level jobs where they don't mind training you. It's a pretty solid route, the only problem is you don't have teachers or classmates to talk to whenever you don't understand something. Of course, thanks to the internet, it's not that much of a problem. I subbed to /r/networking a while ago, and they're have no problem being tech support for other business and companies. People come in there all the time with no IT experience having an issue, and they do their best to help.


Now if you're looking into getting the A+ certification, which I highly recommend, let me give you some resources for your journey.


Jean Andrew's Guide to Managing & Maintaining your PC


I had an older version of this book, I think it was the 7th edition. She goes over EVERYTHING except what WON'T be on the test. Mike Meyers is a popular name for certification test materials, but I found that his books look tooooooo far into conceptual rather than practical. He spent entire chapters explaining things that absolutely would not be on the test. Legacy processors for example, like the first "consumer" processor. Or in his Network+ book, he does it less but goes fully into things like CAT 1 which isn't...as relevant to today's world. Mike Meyers DOES have an amazing talk at the beginning of the A+ book I read, and that's keep it simple. The A+ exams will give you questions with multiple correct answers but only one should really be selected. For example you might get something like:


A desktop PC doesn't turn on. What do you do?

• Test the Power Supply
  
• Check the motherboard for blown capacitors
  
• See if the computer is plugged in
  
• Check to make sure power connectors are plugged into the motherboard
  
  
  Technically, all of these are correct. But the A+ exam wants you to think simple first, because often times it can be just that.
  
  
  Great example, had a guy who brought his son's gaming PC into my work. The computer would not boot. He brought his power cable in with it, and so I did some testing. I tried a new power cable, didn't work. I tested the PSU, and it was working just fine. Inspected for blown capacitors. Nothing. Then out of nowhere, I decide to look on the back of the power supply, and it has a switch with ( 1 | 0 ). It was on 0. The power supply was working, but itself was turned off. Flipped it back on, and voila. Everything was back to normal. Embarrassingly enough, this took me a couple days to figure out. But that's just it. Mike Meyers does a fantastic job telling you start simple and work your way from there. And that's used all the time.
  
  
  Professor Messer's Online Study Guide
  
  
  Professor Messer is a free online video series that covers all standards in A+, Net+, and Security+. But here's the thing. He doesn't go over detail all that much. It's very meaty. It hits on the core ideas and a brief overview of them but not fully detailed. It's great for more of a brushup once you feel like you've got a good grasp on the subject.
  
  
  If you need any more help or any questions about the exams, or would just like more general information, let me know and I'll help out the best that I can.

All good questions, also a lot to unpack there and a lot of questions only you can answer! To start, doesn't really matter what you major in. What i recommend doing is getting internships (paid if possible)/jobs in these fields so you can see if it's actually something you like. Don't stress too much about your major though because most people go into fields unrelated to their major.

Also i'm really sorry to hear about your mom and that you've been having a hard time. Sometimes when you're going through difficult times, it's easy to feel lethargic and nervous about the things you used to love. There's a solid chance you still love journalism, you're just going through a tough time right now. Sounds like there's some fear and self-judgment surrounding your writing right now too. You should try writing for pleasure or cover a story you care about, beyond your coursework maybe? Don't worry about whether or not its 'good.'

That being said, you may feel burnt out! That's why so many people end up not going into the field they studied in college. If you really don't feel like journalism aligns with what you want right now and you're not enjoying it, it's okay to change paths. You know yourself best though.

Honestly, I recommend you give this book by Danielle Hope Diamond a read: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07YL448KZ/ I went through a similar thing as you where I felt lost and mediocre and this book really helped me figure it all out. I promise you're full of talents and strengths. I can even tell from your post that you're a bright young person full of untapped potential, who's just going through a hard time :)

You are always going to feel the way you are currently feeling no matter what your job is. Even if you have a passion and turn it into a job, it's eventually going to turn into a grind. I vote you enjoy your healthy income with the limited hours it requires of you and focus on doing something more productive in your spare time. Maybe join a social group, volunteer with your local theatre, coach a youth sports league, help out at the local animal shelter. The world doesn't need more people sitting behind a desk. The world needs more people like you with time on their hands to help make the world a better place.


I vote you cherish what you have. Your curiousity about the other side just means you're feeling restless. Solve the restlessness and maybe you will forget about it.


Also, maybe try reading Meditations: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140449337/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

First get this book.

You know what functions you want your job to have, reading, research, and writing. First translate these into concrete functions that use your degree to demonstrate you have them. This will form the backbone of your resume.

If you want to do an MA without the debt, investigate scholarships. There may be one available that will let you do that.

If you have no connections, don't worry. We all got to start somewhere. And social media presence, in my opinion, is a bit over-hyped. It is a tool some people use well, but not necessary for all fields.

Instead, sit down and write a list of everyone you know. Family, friends, professors, etc. Put them on a piece of paper, and then consider who they may know. For example, many professors have industry contacts and may be willing to vouch for your to be considered for a position that hasn't been listed yet. If anything, just write them an e-mail saying hi, inquire on there well-fare, say a bit about yourself - just to reaffirm the connection.

Another way to create connections is volunteer work. Look for a few causes that you care about, and offer your services to an organization that advocates for that cause.

Do you have a daily writing routine? Practice makes perfect, and this will be a good place to start

Also, make sure you check out 'On Writing' by Steven King, and this article on how he teaches writing.

Thinking up ideas is a very different ballgame than putting them into writing, so get cracking!

When you become and adult with a family in 10-15 years, the thing that motivates you go to work will not be your "passion" for whatever field you are in. It will be your desire to help provide for you family, pay bills, pay for vacations, and generally earn a comfortable enough living so that you don't stress about paying loans, etc. It is a difficult thing to convey to younger people - you may think that you are busy now but you are not - having a career and dealing with a family is a lot of work (but with lots of rewards too). Having to worry about money at the same time because you chose something that you thought was your passion instead of compromising is a mistake that I see lots of people make. It is almost always better to choose a career that doesn't work you to death but also affords you a comfortable living. Note that in the end, what ever line of work you choose will end up feeling like a job - management bullshit, deadlines, etc - you can't escape it so you might as well get paid well for it.

Read this book by a CS professor about why it's simple poor advice to "follow your passion":
http://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You/dp/1455509124/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
He is a realistic and correct.

Some details

1. PHD programs are generally free when you do research or teach at the same time, plus you are provided a stipend to live off of. If you have to pay for a PhD program, that is an indication that you will not make it in academia (if that's your desired path) or the program isn't worth shit, generally speaking.
   
   
2. Do not do PhD programs for the hell of it. Only do it if you want and have a realistic chance of getting a research job. Otherwise, just go to work. I did a phd from the top institution in my technical field and seen most of my collegues go on to do something completely unrelated.
   
   
3. Don't stress about finding what you want to do with your life. Most people don't when they start college. You need to explore stuff outside the classroom. Get a book on careers and talk to lots of people. Don't hesitate to cold-email/call people in the professions you are interested in. Worst case scenario, they don't answer you. If you still don't know what you want to do when you start college, sit in on lots of classes, even classes that you don't think interest you. You will never have such an incredible time to explore.
   
   

So Good They Can't Ignore You by Cal Newport of Study Hacks was a great read. I've been looking for more books that are similar.

A PhD Is Not Enough! is a good book for those in the sciences, as well as Letters to a Young Scientist by EO Wilson.

I've always heard the basic advice of "think of where you want to be, and try to figure out how others got there" (educational requrements et c.). However, for my personal journey, I'm just as lost as the next guy.

Its arguable that we are all confused about where we truly wanna go as often what we want and what we do are in contradiction. So you are not alone.

I would recommend three things for you:

1. Read this
   
2. Follow Calnewports blog, he gives some awesome advice.
   
3. Finally read Stephen kings take on his writing and other stuff, as his ideas can easily be used by anyone going into the fields of creativity.
   
   Finally, use school and exams as way to measure you performance and focus on learning by yourself as that is the beat way to grow

Psychedelics are the next massive wave for mental health. At 16 you can do things like learn harm reduction: https://zendoproject.org/ , Start reading about them https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/B07B1V3RF5/ and watching lectures https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCULcgad6brJAvldt3tFW-sQ and https://maps.org

You could do things like volunteer to help harm reduction places like Dance Safe https://dancesafe.org/

I'd also recommend looking at picking up general skills, Mental Health First Aid: https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/ holotropic breath work: http://www.holotropic.com/ , Meditation https://chopracentermeditation.com/

I actually wrote a book for you. It gives you a model to identify promising careers and quickly test them to see if you want to turn them into a career. I think it will really open your eyes to the possibilities. If you don't want to buy the book, then message me and I'll send you the PDF.

​

https://www.amazon.com/Lean-Career-Advance-Change-Modern/dp/1691555827/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+lean+career&qid=1573488017&sr=8-1

Dude. You're doing well. Keep experimenting. Also. I just found the book and ordered it today: https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You/dp/1455509124
You might be facing what I faced, jumping from job because the job didn't seem fulfilling enough. Could that be the case?

Read this: So Good They Can't Ignore You