Best products from r/funny

We found 356 comments on r/funny discussing the most recommended products. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 9,334 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.

Top comments mentioning products on r/funny:

u/IcarusRisen · 18 pointsr/funny

I'll just leave this here.
>Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!

u/Pterodactylgoat · 42 pointsr/funny

You're in the First 100 Days of Darkness

Today, my 2 year old told me she loved me, that she wanted to hug and cuddle me. She also practiced for 20 straight minutes all of the emotional regulation techniques I've taught her (embrace Daniel Tiger for toddlers, omg it's the best tool). She said how she felt, why she felt that way, started singing the relevant song, and did breathing exercises, and declared that she felt better. All on her own.

It does get better, little by little. It's all really freaking hard but one day you are able to sleep in increments of more than an hour, live in moments of more than 10 minutes at a time, and eat hot food and drink hot beverages without being interrupted. There will be a day where you're not touched out.

You've got this. You may not feel like it but you've got this. You're not alone.

And in case no one has told you, invasive thoughts are common. If you get them, you can go "hello thought, fuck you" or think the opposite of the thought. Or notice things around your room using all of your senses.

One thing that helped me get through the first two years is Pokémon Go on my phone for making sure I get outside. (I'm sure this is probably harder with twins)

Hugs and love to you. You'll get through this.

Edit: c&p from my comment below:
Sure! First of all, I got these books:

  • Little Monkey Calms Down

  • Calm Down Time

  • Bye Bye Time

    Daniel Tiger, the show, is on Prime Video, but there's DT apps for iOS and android. I highly recommend the Daniel Tiger Parents app as it has all the songs/episode clips. We embraced the ipad long ago so she can use it independently and will go to that app and play the songs.

    I tried to memorize the DT songs for different emotions like mad, frustrated, and sad. Then when she's feeling a certain way, I would ask her how she feels, then say "Are you feeling mad/sad/frustrated/etc?" then sing the song, and say something like "let's reset", "how many blows do you think you would need to blow out...4 candles?" and held up 4 fingers. If she's feeling uncooperative, I'll go "can you help me blow out the candles?" and then we count as we blow them out. Or I'll ask her to help a stuffed animal.

    We also talk about choices a lot, good and bad choices. When she's making a bad choice, I tell her that she's making a bad choice and needs to reset herself and make good choices. "Kicking me is a bad choice. It hurts me. I cannot allow you to kick me or kick people. Are we allowed to kick others? Let's reset and take big breaths"

    I ask her a lot of open-ended questions, how are you feeling, what kind of choice are you making/was that, what was the bad choice, what can you do to make good choices next time? What can you do to reset?

    This morning, what she was doing was bringing me magnetic blocks, saying I needed to make a ladder or a house for a giraffe. Then it broke as she grabbed it. "I'm mad! Roar! I do breathing exercises." then she blew out several times, got off the couch, said something about how the blocks broke and she could make something else (I've reiterated to her that "The best thing about blocks breaking apart is that you get to make something new") and said she felt better and happy.

    Hope this helps! Sometimes it helps to have something physical for them to do when regulating. Or like, having them notice something around the room using their five senses. Oh! And you could have them hold their bellies and breathe in and out and notice how big their bellies get (I talk to her about how lungs work)

u/Wendy_Mericle · 0 pointsr/funny

I am a serious wino and Whether you love to entertain or you enjoy a glass of wine by yourself on a quiet night, chances are you'll need a wine opener at some point in your life. Wine is many guests' favorite gift to bring event hosts, and you don't want to be caught unprepared when it comes time to crack those bottles open. For this I brought this awesome Corkscrew Set with classic wooden handled ergonomic designed corkscrew from Amazon with 3 other items (stopper, drip ring, red wine aerator) in set with beautiful reusable good looking box. you can also find it here : which is exclusively available at Amazon with 30% off.

u/CockGobblin · 8 pointsr/funny

What you do is go to an interview and take a bottle of hair conditioner with you. Shortly before going into the room, put some conditioner along the edge of the web area between your index finger and thumb. Shake the interviewers hand as if you had no idea you had jizz on your hand, then have a super awkward interview.

You can also do this with friends. A great "it's just a prank bro" is to get some custard and some cookies from a bakery, then put a little bit of custard on the edge of the cookie and hand it to your friend. They'll think it is custard ... then hand them this book after they eat the cookie. (By reading this comment, CockGobblin cannot be held responsible for any ruined friendships caused by this prank.)

u/hemorrhagicfever · 29 pointsr/funny

They are super nice. I just bought a cheep one a year ago and i'm SOOOO glad I did.

But yes, you want TP after you bidet, but just like 2 squares to dry.... But if you dont have any tp, it's just slightly annoying to have a completely clean but slightly damp tush. Annoying vs unlivable.

If you're curious This is the one I suggest. It's $35. I did a lot of research and this one is well reviewed for the price. Installation is about 10 min, you have to unscrew the hose for the toilet, screw it back on, then take of the toilet seat, and put it back on. $35 is throw away money for most people. And you'll save loads on TP so it'll pay for it's self easy. And of course if you ever get the burning shits, you'll be blessing my name.

Seriously, just do it.

u/ZachDaniel · 7 pointsr/funny

Welcome to the internet. You must be new here.

Amazon reviews were a joke long before Steam started allowing user reviews. I think one of the first and most popular being the Three Wolves Moon shirt. As you can see, the top rated post is a joke from 7 years ago. Steam user reviews have only been around for a year and a half-ish.

You'll find that no matter where you go in the internet, if people are allowed to contribute to a website, they will make silly tired jokes and other pre-pubescents will upvote them to saint-hood.

Anyways ... good luck with your future endeavors listing shit on amazon. I wish you the best.

u/JimKB · 2 pointsr/funny

that's very nice of you, foomachoo. thanks. if somebody want to order my book or cartoon in Amazon, it's here. Order it from my site, and I'll do a doodle of your request in your book. Same deal for all the titles on my site.

If you have kids in your life, I have a couple popular series, like the NYTImes Bestseller Dear Dumb Diary or the recent NAPPA award winner THE END for very little ones. you can see them on my author page on Amazon.

No review for THE END could be better than this unsolicited review from a young reader.

u/drfre · 1 pointr/funny

Found the link the OP probably intended on submitting

The Tuscon Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz poem

Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'

u/zrizza · 2 pointsr/funny

Amazing. I love the Internet community. If you liked this you'll definitely enjoy the Amazon reveiws for the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife. Oh, and also this banana slicer. I have both pages bookmarked for rainy days - the reviews are that funny.

u/PressEveryButton · 3 pointsr/funny

Is there a subreddit for reviews like this? I run into some well written reviews occasionally and would like to find more.

While searching for Ant Bait I ran across this review, and got a good laugh out of it. Obviously the classic Three Wolf Moon shirt is fun to read. But is there a sub for this?

u/Tabdelineated · 1 pointr/funny

If you liked Safe Baby Handling Tips available from amazon, then you'll love
Safe Baby Pregnancy tips (read it here), also available from amazon

Seriously, if you like it, buy it, who knows when someone you know will get knocked up, and you'll have the perfect gift!

u/WrenInFlight · 28 pointsr/funny

Then returned with two hookers and a cooler full of beer.

But my personal favorite:

> Received this knife as a gift for my 18th birthday. Wish I'd have known what it was because as soon as I touched it, I grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal. Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer. I was born a girl.

>Minus 2 stars because my breasts were really nice.

u/m00f · 17 pointsr/funny

Could have been a straight steal... we'll never know. In any case, if you are a stand-up comedy fan definitely check out the Bobcat (comeback?) album linked above... great stuff.

Edit: link to album since the link above is just a picture

u/TheBeardedMann · 8 pointsr/funny

Bought one. Worked great till I spilled my Tuscan Milk all over it while reading How To Avoid Huge Ships. Luckily I had bought some Uranium Ore at the same time. Sprinkled a little over the cable, and it works perfect now.

u/knullcon · 5 pointsr/funny

The Complete Far Side 1980-1994 Every Far Side comic in glorious color. 2 Huge fucking books in a fabric wrapped case. One of the best Xmas gifts I ever got.

u/Sickmoma · 2 pointsr/funny

Look no further.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)

Bonus quote from reviews:

"Speaking as a hirsute gentleman, the Luxe Bidet Neo 120 has soured me on pooping in bidet-less toilets forever. It's shown me the difference between rubbing peanut butter out of shag carpeting with a paper towel, and that sparkling clean feeling you get right when you step out of the shower."

u/Mohaan · 1 pointr/funny

Can I recommend "Letters from a nut" if you enjoy these letters. It's a great toilet book.

u/Pazzam · 18 pointsr/funny

Great tips like this and more can be found in 'Natural Harvest - A collection of semen based recipes' available from Amazon

u/Beer_Is_Food · 3 pointsr/funny

Possibly the most related and hilarious set of amazon reviews ever. Scroll down and read the reviews if you have a few minutes. Pretty fuckin' funny.

u/elemenstor · 14 pointsr/funny

What's the link to it? You're definitely funny, and I'd love to read more.

Also, the "crazy letters" idea reminds me of the book Letters from a Nut. I recommend it.

u/wharpua · 15 pointsr/funny

That joke formed the title of one of his comedy albums of a live set he did, which is pretty good:

I Don't Mean to Insult You, But You Look Like Bobcat Goldthwait

One bit I remember from it had Bobcat talking about filming that scene from Blow when Johnny Depp and Paul Reubens got him to sample their completely pure product. Him and Depp were comparing recent run-ins with the law (Depp with some Drunk & Disorderly thing, Goldthwait for accidentally starting a fire while doing a guest spot on the Tonight Show), and they were like, “Probation. You?” “Community Service.” Then they look at Reubens: “Anywaaaayyysss...”

u/mrpoopiepants · 2 pointsr/funny

The picture is from the very funny book called Safe Baby Handling Tips.

Safe Baby Handling Tips

u/Swailem95 · 2 pointsr/funny

If you want good amazon reviews, take a look at these reviews of this $120,000 TV

> "After selling my family into slavery I was able to afford this great TV! All and all with the amazing graphics and screen it was a great deal!"

Fucking. Classic.

u/misterchief117 · 3 pointsr/funny

There's a used one for only $18,000 dollars. I'm no financial expert, but I'd say that's a pretty good deal considering it's roughly 85% off...

u/Subduction · 3 pointsr/funny

If you like these you really need to get "The Lazlo Letters" by Don Novello (the guy who did Father Guido Sarducci.)

He sent letters to companies as a conservative reactionary, but wrote them so they really sounded authentic, and got some awesome responses.

u/joshfaulkner · 1 pointr/funny

It's from the Safe Baby Handling Tips book:

I would also recommend a Safe Baby Pregnancy Tips book:

u/PonderousFrogfish · 1 pointr/funny

Happened to notice that the Tuscan 1 gallon milk product is still there. A whole bunch of new reviews there and some of them are amazing!

Really good one in the style of Poe.

u/leftcoast-usa · 1 pointr/funny

Pretty funny stuff. Reminded me of an old favorite I had forgotten about, the Lazlo Toth letters, from Don Novello (Father Guido Sarducci). He wrote letters to stores, famous people, etc, and published a book of them - Book linkon Amazon

u/Beaglepower · 6 pointsr/funny

Hilarious book, but Seinfeld only wrote the introduction. The author, Ted L. Nancy, is the pseudonym of writer/ comedian Barry Marder.

Edit: Some people suspected the author was either Seinfeld or Larry David, until Seinfeld finally outed Marder.

u/allsurface_nofeeling · 3 pointsr/funny

The rest of the reviews are also pretty cool, occasionally i like people!

u/KopKopPlayer · 3 pointsr/funny

>did u make that comic? its pretty funny!


u/[deleted] · 5 pointsr/funny

Well put.

May I encourage everybody to think about buying the Complete Far Side, its not very expensive and will entertain you and your pets/stalkers who go through your stuff for centuries to come.

u/justanearthling · 1 pointr/funny

Not sure is there a UK version of this but this one is the best of all: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml

u/nwzimmer · 2 pointsr/funny

I love the Far Side; best comic ever in my opinion.

This complete 2-volume set is a must-buy for any Far Side lover

A little pricey at $95, but very high quality set...

u/fancyhatsociety · 1 pointr/funny

It's from here. Go there. Look at the other reviews. Now you won't have to spend the rest of the day on Reddit. You'll spend it on Amazon, but you won't buy anything.

Look at the suggested products. A lot of them have hilarious reviews as well.

u/PrineSwine · 3 pointsr/funny

If this tickled your funny bone, you'd love The Lazlo Letters. Maybe not as funny if you are under 30, though. You can find some of them as PDFs on the web, and try them out.

u/phd_dude · 2 pointsr/funny

Nice, almost as good as The Mountain Three Wolf Shirt on Amazon. You should totally read the reviews, it will make your night.

u/hells_cowbells · 1 pointr/funny

My favorite is this one for Tuscan Whole Milk. There are several of them for the Tuscan milk, though. Here's another favorite Tuscan review.

u/seismichippo · 1 pointr/funny

Here is my favorite. Makes me giggle out loud every time I read it.

u/Bobbert_Flinton · 2 pointsr/funny

This one might actually be the original. Much funnier.

(See top comment in link.)

u/leontes · 4 pointsr/funny

I don't know why copyright infringement is called in times like this, which basically serves as a free advertisement. Buy the complete works, people. There are many more like this!

u/psqjqa · 1 pointr/funny

If we're talking best, let's not forget the three wolf moon reviews.

u/tolurkistolearn · 7 pointsr/funny

If you are interested in urine candy, you might also be interested in: This

u/Snapdad · 2 pointsr/funny

I recommend the $40 one

It has a splash guard and the water line is a little more protected under the seat. I had a cheaper model break under the seat.

u/Prae7oriaN · 1 pointr/funny

This comment was also take from a different, and much more awesome, knife.

u/Chyndonax · 2 pointsr/funny

For anyone who doesn't know this is how awesome that milk is.

u/tarmmmmm · 7 pointsr/funny

Like this $120,000 one? The joke customer reviews are priceless.

u/XXS_speedo · 3 pointsr/funny

The rest of the reviews are funny as well.

u/incapablepanda · 6 pointsr/funny

I believe you will find this relevant to your interests.

Also it's quite amusing that "People who viewed this item also viewed Dancing with Jesus: A Collection of Miraculous Moves"

u/vishuno · 8 pointsr/funny

For $35 you can have one!

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)

u/walrusman0 · 1 pointr/funny

This also has excellent reviews.

u/ungus · 6 pointsr/funny

If you're looking for a banana slicer, you should check out the 571 by Hutzler. It's the pinnacle of fruit puck perfection. Check out the rave reviews.

u/LadyBugJ · 18 pointsr/funny

No it's not. I just got this from Amazon last night. Source So if someone posted something similar in the past, then okay, but I literally made this post myself.

Edit: As a redditor defending my honor and I demand a link to this repost accusation! Added my link.

u/MadPooter · 1 pointr/funny

Yes, this is actually a real thing. At least, the recipe book is. The reviewer may likely be joking.

u/socokid · 1 pointr/funny

There are some other nuggets of comedy gold in the reviews as well, and goes on for pages.

u/Bret_Bretterson · 3 pointsr/funny

I have this one and don't know how I lived without it.

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white)

u/Jobeanie123 · 1 pointr/funny

And at a mete $3.69, it was a steal!

Do be sure to read those reviews. They're awesome.

u/xxiCPTN · 2 pointsr/funny

If you havent already some reviews for this stuff on Amazon are hilarious.

u/InfinityCircuit · 0 pointsr/funny

Best reviews ever, IMHO. Only a Saudi prince could really afford it, but apparently our credit companies are lending to own this.

u/JoeW88 · 6 pointsr/funny

I had to search Uranium Ore, to check it was true. It is indeed, however, under the "What do customers ultimately buy after viewing this?" heading was this. Has Reddit got WMDs? :O

u/russellvt · 4 pointsr/funny

I much prefer the Amazon Grocery section... like Tuscan Whole Milk.

u/pumpkinrum · 1 pointr/funny

The Haribo reviews and the Veet for Men reviews are my two favorite ones.

u/stml · 26 pointsr/funny

Here's a link for the one and only actually verified purchase review and the guy actually gives a good reason to give it only a 1 star out of 5.

Turns out some of the knives are too long to actually be closed and you can't actually close each knife. I would also be pretty pissed. If something is so expensive, they might as well make it possible to completely close the thing.

u/PwmEsq · 3 pointsr/funny

My all time favorite one link

u/Quarth · 103 pointsr/funny

For those interested in buying it... AMAZON!

u/MrSquicky · 2 pointsr/funny

They stole that image from this book.

It's a good, cheap baby present, in case people are in the market for that.

u/Fionro · 2 pointsr/funny

You guys might like

[Zenith Men's 96.0529.4035/51.M Defy Xtreme Tourbillon Titanium Chronograph Watch](

and the Hutzler-571-Banana-Slicer's reviews.

u/Damarkus13 · 17 pointsr/funny

Clearly, someone has not read the review for the "Three Wolf, Moon T-shirt."

u/Itsnotironic444 · 1 pointr/funny

Here is a link to the TV that the reviews are from:

Samsung UN105S9 Curved 105-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV

u/PM_ME_THE_NUMBER_112 · 5 pointsr/funny

Link. There are loads of hilarious reviews.

u/I3iGbizzle · 3 pointsr/funny

This is almost as good as the Three Wolf Moon review

u/Kalkaline · 1 pointr/funny

Hey OP this is part of a book, you could at least give the author credit. here

u/mcrabb23 · 10 pointsr/funny

You might like this book if you haven't already read it.

u/wilsonh915 · 3 pointsr/funny

A guy did a whole book of stuff like this about 13 or 14 years ago through snail mail. Some of them are a hoot.

u/nlaw22 · 1 pointr/funny

Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes

u/the_tch · 19 pointsr/funny

I like these, also check out the vendor list

u/leo2308 · 5 pointsr/funny

Was exactly the same, loved Far Side. Incase you didnt know, there is a complete collection of every comic he ever did, along with back story and explanations for some of the more abstract ones. The Complete Far Side. Pricey, but so worth it.

u/penelaine · 89 pointsr/funny

"Q: Does this tv come with composite hookups? I want to be able to connect my VCR."

This whole Amazon page is fucking gold

u/Shane01638 · 2 pointsr/funny

Now you need the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer. Be sure to read the Q and A. Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer

u/jlpoole · 2 pointsr/funny

$103 gets you all of his drawings in The Complete Far Side. I have one and treasure it.

u/LurkerOnTheInternet · 45 pointsr/funny

Amazon link

There is only one real review which says it's basically not even functional and was created only as a display item to demonstrate the various tools in their catalog.

u/_cs · 84 pointsr/funny

Here's the link to the Amazon page these reviews are on!

According to camelcamelcamel, it sells for between $853 and $1400: Link

u/insatiableevil · 2 pointsr/funny

35 bucks on amazon! Installed on all the toilets. First thing I had ordered even we moved in to the new house. amazon bidet for 35

u/Putinator · 11 pointsr/funny

Don't worry, you can get one refurbished for nearly double the price!

u/JohnnyBeagle · 1 pointr/funny

Laslo Toth Letters by Don Novelllo is also recommended

u/MSkog · 1 pointr/funny

This is always an Amazon classic, along with this piece of hilarity. Read at least the first review if you haven't seen it before.

u/bsmfaktor · 72 pointsr/funny

When I bought a Geiger counter Amazon suggested Uranium to me...

u/youra6 · 8 pointsr/funny

Here is the actual Amazon product link.

u/TripperDay · 1 pointr/funny

If want authenticity, you can check out The Lazlo Letters or Letters from a Nut

u/Sachyriel · 1 pointr/funny

The whole idea of the button down shirt is that it allows you to wear an undershirt, like the Thee Wolf Moon shirt, which would be worn with the outer shirt open for maximum wolf.

u/Corrom · 2 pointsr/funny

If you want more craziness like this I'd suggest reading Letters from a nut

u/acepincter · 9 pointsr/funny

Good review, but not as good as those madmen over at Tuscan Whole Milk