Best products from r/genderqueer

I always wear men's underwear and haven't experimented with anything else. In terms of widely available things that you can find in most stores, I personally like low-rise fashion briefs. (They're a little harder to find than the mid-rise ones, they're useful though because a lot of short shorts are lower-waisted and mid-rise briefs will show above the top of them, awkwardly.) Here's a link I'm kinda between two sizes and I pick the smaller size and they hold things in place just fine. My second-best choice is sports briefs, which are looser and more breathable, but generally still keep things in place. Like, this link shows some.

I've found that these always keep everything in place...the only risk is like, your underwear itself spilling out of the shorts if they're super short.

Also some tips for buying the shorts themselves:

• If the shorts are super short, make sure whatever you buy is very snug around the leg. This can be a challenge because AFAB people tend to have thicker thighs than AMAB people, but I've always been able to find stuff. Stretchy fabric is your friend. The shorter the leg/inseam, the more snug it needs to be.
  
• Don't buy anything with the inseam so short that it's shorter than your underwear. Look at the width of the narrowest part of your underwear, and then buy stuff with an inseam just long enough that it is longer than that.
  
• Try larger junior's sizes (odd numbers). Not all brands do this, some brands still use even numbers and have the "junior's" fit or shape, but in general when you have both in the same brand, the junior's sizes will usually be better at fitting AMAB bodies because they're made for people with less hips and narrower thighs.
  
• If you're concerned about having a big visible bulge in front and it looking awkward, look for shorts made of a sturdier, stiffer fabric, like denim. With stiffer fabric, finding the exact right fit can be more important.
  
• If you have problems with not enough room for junk, try finding something with a slightly looser fit, and then wearing a belt to keep it in place. Denim and khaki shorts can both look super cute with a belt, and you can do different styling...like casual canvas belts with a pattern, or a brown leather belt which is pretty universal and can be more casual or a little more dressy.
  
• If you're new to short shorts, maybe start gradual. Women's shorts have a full range of lengths...go for something mid-thigh if you're not used to wearing that, then gradually go a little shorter as you get more comfy.
  
• When you're trying on shorts, sit cross-legged and see what happens. This is the position most likely to make things spill out in awkward or uncomfortable ways, or most likely to let people see your underwear. If the shorts fit and are comfortable both when standing and sitting this way, and nothing is awkwardly visible when you're sitting cross-legged, you're good to go, you can pretty much prance around all you want all day long and they'll be fine.
  
  Just try on lots and lots of stuff...don't be shy. Seriously when I look for shorts I go to thrift stores and I might try on 4-7 pairs and sometimes I don't buy anything at all...other times I find a bunch of stuff I look cute in. The more you try on the more you'll get an idea of how it fits and how to find what you're looking for!
  
  And remember, women's sizing is ridiculous. I've bought shorts in sizes 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10 that all fit nearly identically. When you find your size, look a little higher and lower too, especially if you're in a thrift store that has different brands on the same rack. Look at the size of the actual item, I find once I find one item that fits I hold it up to others to compare sizes because it's more reliable than that number.
  
  Good luck!

Well I clicked this post without thinking, and I thought, why did I click this, I know nothing about purses! But when I read your description it sounds just like what I have! I have one of these in khaki. I really love it. It's small enough that it's not a pain to carry around, and I normally keep just my wallet, keys, and a few other random things like headphones, or a hat and gloves, or a water bottle. It's not big enough to fit all that at once but I think it's the perfect size. It's really sturdy, but the material is very flexible and it's more like a tote bag than a box with a shoulder strap. It's perfect for me but now that it's winter I kind of wish I had it in black. The only problem with it is that the velcro is starting to peel off a little because of constant use, but I might just remove the velcro since it's not 100% necessary. Anyway, I love this bag and I would recommend it. (It's also cheap!)

I recently started purchasing wigs. I can't afford the nice, human hair wigs, which can be at the cheapest $400 and go up to near $1,000. On a slightly cheaper scale, I couldn't justify spending $60-$100 on a wig without trying it on to see if it fit, if the color(s) compliments my skintones, how the cut suits my face, etc.

Sooo, I started buying costume wigs and lace front wigs on amazon. Most in my price range($10-$40 dollars) have not worked out because the cut isn't the same as the photo, the color doesn't suit my skintone, or there are tiny, very short hairs poking out randomly from the wig cap/glue sticking out, which makes it really obvious that it's a wig. I don't mind this too much because the cost is so cheap. I can afford to chance a few bucks once a month.

There have been some that were great. I reeeeeaally loved this one. It looked JUST like the photo in every way. It sheds quite a bit, but since I won't wear it every day, I don't mind. Two others that I liked(although they're natural in color) was this one and this one. They don't shed, the lace front can be trimmed, they are full and luxurious, and they don't have a high shine, so they're more realistic looking.


I read that you can sprinkle cornstarch on synthetic wigs and then brush it through, to dull their shine if you want to but I haven't done that.

I look up reviews for wigs on youtube. I like the way she does hers because I can see what the wig looks like and I also get a general idea of what to expect if I were to order a wig she mentions. I actually want that bob wig that she shows in that video. I also like her videos because she does bright or pastel colored wig reviews.

Some people prefer their wigs to have lots of clips in them, because they grip onto wig caps better, so there's a lesser chance of movement. Others prefer to just slip their wigs on and off and buy clip less wigs. There are also wigs that only have one or two clips. Which kind you will buy will be a personal preference, which you'll get an idea for, once you start wearing wigs regularly.

Lastly, sometimes wigs can be cut and brushed to look better than when they arrived. I don't have any success with this yet but I practice on the wigs that I don't like.

Hope that helps!

You have got to read Kate Bornstein. She is absolutely awesome.

http://www.amazon.com/Queer-Pleasant-Danger-Memoir/dp/0807001651
A Queer and Pleasant Danger is a really REALLY awesome and hilarious memoir of her life and her journey from a jewish boy, scientologist, a woman, and now somewhere in between. It's a wonderful story. HIGHLY recommend 10/10 to anyone.

Auntie Kate is one of my heroes and one of the oldest/historically prominent veterans of non-binary gender movements (or Gender Anarchy as she calls it <3).

Edit: She also has two version of her "Gender Workbook". Also, HIGHLY recommended.

As another similarly gendered person, (I ID as neutrois/neutral gender) I can get behind this statement.

It is really hard to dress "other gendered" because so much just gets shoved into binary boxes. My best guess would be mixing masculine and feminine stuff, or picking clothes that are considered feminine on dudes and masculine on women. Or just pioneer your own style with clothes you like!

I personally am a huge fan of sleeveless turtlenecks, and stretchy, clingy, form-fitting clothing combined with sturdy boots and black slim fit jeans. I use a utility thigh pack and a belt full of pockets to carry things. If the weather is cold, I like to layer with off the shoulder long sleeve shirts, exposing my shoulders but covering my neck with the turtleneck underneath.

I also really love jackets with long sleeves and thumb holes, and long or double breasted coats. Top off my outfit with a great hat! I like newspaper boy hats, train conductor hats, and fiddler caps. Also accessorize with a chain on my glasses.

I have silicone prosthetic breasts that I for on amazon for like 30 bucks and they're pretty awesome! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005S4CS4Y/ref=mp_s_a_8?pi=75x49&qid=1345606473&sr=8-8

Hopefully that works I'm using my phone for this. O.o they're pretty awesome, comes like a front latch bra, feel pretty good. I put tissue or cloth behind them because you get a little sweaty but I love them.

omg I'm exactly the same way - DDDs here. I've heard that regular binders for ftms don't work as well for large breasts, and I'm on a tiny grad student budget so I recently bought a back brace from walmart and this thing http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005VRLT6Q/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
and I've found that they work really, really well as binders. My mtf gf was amazed at how masculine I could get my torso ... now if I could only get my face/ hair to match sigh.

I agree, button ups are our best bet, but I need help finding good ones as well. Help anyone?

Using a sharp blade and shaving with the grain is what is going to make all the difference.

I have a double edge safety razor that I bought from amazon. The blades for it are SUPER cheap and way more sharp than cartridge razors. There is a higher initial higher cost with using a DE razor because you have to buy some more expensive hardware, but it's cheaper in the long run.

Use good soap
http://www.amazon.com/Proraso-Shave-Soap-Sensitive-150ml/dp/B001JHEY14/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382915459&sr=8-1&keywords=proraso+white
You will need to get a brush to make lather with that soap, but it's pretty good for sensitive skin. The aerosol stuff doesn't come close.

also check out /r/wicked_edge/ for everything there is to know about shaving.

I've heard that this helped for some people:

https://www.amazon.com/New-Gender-Workbook-Step-Step/dp/0415538653

It didn't do much for me because I was way beyond that point, but it was comforting to know that many others had the same opinion on gender I did (that it's confusing and unhelpful)

Besides what the other poster said about experimentation, I'd like to say that "depression/anxiety" and "trans identity" co-occur a lot and you can easily have both. Gender dysphoria can manifest like--or in some cases, exacerbate--depression symptoms.

Zinnia Jone's articles about dysphoria and depression might be useful here.

The biggest hurdle I overcame was my shame about the way I felt about gender. The second biggest hurdle was doubt--I felt that I couldn't tell anyone about my feelings until I had everything "figured out"

Once I realized that these were obstacles and that I was probably suppressing something, I made an effort to talk more about how I felt and express myself freely, even if all I had to say was "I'm not sure." And the more I did it, the better I felt and the easier it got.

Bottom layer is a black women's tank, the lovely blue top is one of my favorite round-cut loose women's tops, and then the outer top is a men's Guess-branded button-up. I'd love to link it, but I don't think they make it anymore.

Total look is about $60-70!

All of Ivan E. Coyote's writing is great! Especially their latest book which is a collaboration with a genderqueer musician. It's called Gender Failure

try starting with this and see if it helps.

Here is the desktop version of your link