(Part 2) Best products from r/getdisciplined

We found 56 comments on r/getdisciplined discussing the most recommended products. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 472 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

Top comments mentioning products on r/getdisciplined:

u/ExplicitInformant · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

While I don't have any suggestions for specific rewards (I am in the same bind as you), I have a suggestion for the method of reward. (Disclaimer: This is not originally my idea - see the last paragraph if you want more information.)

Instead of picking a specific reward for a specific action, make it a game. Uncertain rewards are more rewarding, so the idea is to make the reward process a bit of a fun gamble. First, set up a rewards jar containing...

  • 60%-65% motivational quotes/notes (i.e., non-rewards, but a bit more motivating than "please try again")
  • 20-25% small rewards (something you can afford 5-7 times a week - e.g., going to Starbucks one morning, taking half the day off guilt free, etc.)
  • 2-4% moderate rewards (around $20-$25 depending on income - e.g., a day off without worrying about school, getting a cheap book or toy, going out to a nice, non fast-food restaurant, etc.)
  • 1% or so large rewards (a new TV, gaming system, expensive new game, etc).

    You can do this gradually (e.g., to start, every small-moderate reward you think of, throw in two non-rewards. Once you have a decent number of these slips, throw in your larger rewards, trying to generally keep to the above breakdown).


    Next, set up a point system. If you earn 1000 points, you can draw from your rewards jar. You earn points by completing activities that might not be inherently rewarding in the moment (e.g., boring homework, flossing), but that you would like to be able to complete.

  • The more difficult the activity, the more points. Note: I mean difficult for you, including boring, anxiety-provoking, etc. If you have a huge paper you want to start early but it makes you sick to think about it, perhaps you earn 500pts or even a full 1000pts for just sitting down and doing 45 minutes of work. Similarly, if it is really easy, you earn fewer points.
  • To further make it a game, you can set up challenges. For instance, if you have a scary/large paper to write, make an outline for the paper. The challenge: each line starts with a new letter of the alphabet, from A to Z. You have an hour (or an hour and a half). If you succeed, 1500 pts! This can make difficult tasks even more of a game, and at the end, you have an outline you can revise vs. a blank page.
  • If you are trying to establish habits (e.g., exercise MWF), award yourself points for each successful day (say, 250pts - more or less depending on how challenging it is to make yourself exercise). If you do all of the planned days (here, M, W, and F), you get a bonus (say, 300pts).

    On the whole, if you're moderately productive, you'll be able to draw from your rewards jar a few times a week.


    This gets around a couple of problems I've personally encountered in rewarding myself: (1) Picking a reward: It has to be something you want now, otherwise it won't be rewarding. (2) Once you identified what you want NOW, it is hard to then do something else just to earn it (particularly if you tend to give in to those desires). Instead, this allows you to earn the chance to play a fun game that isn't rewarding to just play without earning the chance. (At least, I can't imagine just sitting and drawing reward slips without earning points - that would be kinda boring!) You also are being rewarded for gradual work, instead of the same rewards for tasks that change a lot in type and difficulty.

    Source: I can't take credit for this idea! I got this from a very informative and useful interview with a graduate student who used this reward system to combat procrastination (found here). She based this on research cited in The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal. (Specifically, studies have found that more addicts will stay clean for the chance to win an uncertain monetary reward than for a steady, predetermined payment, even though they get, on average, less money through the uncertain rewards).
u/shaykai · 6 pointsr/getdisciplined

Not everyone has the mental fortitude to start their own business. You may not have what it takes. The reason I say that is because of what I've experienced the past couple years. I'll give you the cliff notes version.

I'm turning 30 next month. For the last 10 years I've been a part of different businesses, startups, and started a few of my own businesses on the side. I always had a fulltime job that supported me, but I worked on side projects in my free time. Like you I had been dreaming about the day I would own my own business fulltime for YEARS, and I had been actively working towards that goal.

Fast forward to 2 years ago. I finished school, moved to a different city, and started my own business (it's a service business that is client based). I was FINALLY my own boss. All of 2013 I tried so many things to get clients in the door, some of it works, most of it didn't. Worked my ass off, got depressed after working so hard for months and seeing no results and barely getting by. Lost weight because I wasn't eating enough because I couldn't afford food. Borrowed money from every family member I could.

Finally, at the beginning of 2014 I started to get traction. The seeds I planted were starting to pay off. I got media attention and I thought I 'made it'. Not only could I pay all my bills, I had money left over at the end of the month. I enjoyed that success for a few months, but then I made the mistake of resting on my laurels and eventually clients ran out. I then refocused, started crushing it a few months ago, and now I'm finally getting back to the level I was before. I now have systems in place so I won't ever go back to that place I was, that I will keep growing and be more focused.

Why does all of this matter? It matters because being a business owner is HARD. It's arguably the hardest thing I've done, and I have literally been preparing and dreaming of it for over a decade. There were many times I nearly failed, I made countless mistakes, and it affected my happiness substantially. There were many times I would have given up had I not burned the proverbial boats. I HAD to make this work, there was no other way.

Why does it apply to you? Because having a good work ethic and being self motivated is CRITICAL to success when you own your own business. Read stories of other entrepreneurs, they are always working far more hours then their friends, they are passionate, driven, and goal oriented.

Why am I writing all of this? Because I don't think I started out having the most amazing work ethic. There were many times over the past couple years where I would take a day off here or there in addition to my weekends, or that I would do the minimum during my work day. Some of that was due to depressing circumstances, but I was also too easy on myself because I have spent my whole life being conditioned to take orders from a boss. Now I was the boss, and I was being too nice to my number one employee! I had to learn the hard way how to keep myself motivated, and now I consider myself an excellent and effective worker. These are the things I've done, maybe some of them will work for you:

  • I work in 60 minute chunks and I set a timer. For 50 minutes, I work completely focused on whatever task is at hand. At the end of 50 minutes I take a 10 minute break and get away from my computer and walk around. This method of working has been one of the most effective things I've incorporated into my routine.
  • I make a HAND WRITTEN todo list at the beginning of the day. For some reason, actually writing it down is incredibly powerful (I used to just use a list on a computer). I check things off throughout the day. I also put a star next to the item that I consider to be the most important thing to get done, the one thing that makes everything else in my life easier or unnecessary. I learned this from reading the book The One Thing
  • I set a schedule for the day and I stick to it. I know when I am going to start my day, and when I'm going to end my day. Also, even though I work from home I make sure that I get dressed instead of just working in my PJ's.
  • I take care of myself. This means I work out a few times a week, I make sure I eat a health breakfast, I meditate, and when I'm off work I don't check e-mail or work on work related things. This actually makes me really eager to get to work the next day and really crush it.
  • I keep a work journal. I write in my work journal every day listing what I've done, my thoughts of the day, and various personal metrics I'm tracking. This journal has been instrumental in my success, because after I looked over it I was able to see patterns where I didn't see them before. It was through this journal that I realized I was so much more productive when I worked in 60 minute chunks with a 10 minute break.
  • I have a white board that I see it every day that I list my goals I want to hit for the day, for the week, and for the month. I have things on these different lists that are things I know are crucial to complete if I want my business to sustain itself and grow.
  • I talk with others about my goals. Now, there is something to be said about keeping goals hidden which can make you more productive, but I also talk about my day to my family and friends when we hang out at night which keeps me accountable. I want to be able to say, "Wow I really crushed it today, I did X, Y, and Z, which really moves me forward." instead of, "I checked some e-mails... and that's about it..."

    More so than anything, I think the thing that keeps me motivated are those times I can point to in the past couple years where I had no money. Where I was eating one meal a day, and I was depressed as fuck. I don't ever want to go back there. Some people can learn from others mistakes, other people have to learn the hard way. I wanted to be the former, but I turned out to be the latter.

    Now, you're road may be easier than mine. Maybe you are smarter than me, maybe you have advantages I don't have, I have no way of knowing. All I know is that I was like you, I dreamed of owning my own business for years, and the reality is far different than what I imagined. That being said, I have learned and grown so much, I feel like I am a much better person because of the struggle I have gone through (and still am going through to be honest).

    TL;DR: Owning a business is hard. You may not have what it takes. There is hope, even if you are a bad worker, you can learn to be a good one that is self motivated.
u/swiffswiff · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

-You can still be a smart person.

-Not many people have a lot of knowledge about anything except for specialists or those who enjoy hobbies and/or have specific interests in these topics.

-If you didn't read a lot then start now; start with easier to read classics - there are plenty of "books you should have read if you're into 'x' subject" lists if you google them.

-There are also plenty of audio books on YouTube. One that is relevant to where you are in your life now is called Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. It is narrated by the author and is about success and how people get there (>!it isn't all about doing well at school and your childhood!<).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAlgPnqgBs0 - Outliers by Malcom Gladwell audiobook

Audible UK | Free Audiobook with 30-Day Trial | Audible.co.uk - Audible also has other audio books however it's a fee paying service.

-Okay so you made a mistake by not doing well in school on purpose. But do you want to educate yourself and do well now? Below are links to ways you can learn for free (yes free) and some of the websites give you course certificates too. We are all lucky to live in a time where we can create a company or fix local or even global issue through learning online. You can do too.

You should know that coding and machine learning is the present and future by now. If you're dedicated enough you can learn a language like 'C' in 3-6 months.

https://the-more-u-know.tumblr.com/post/137720353403/24-invaluable-skills-to-learn-for-free-online-this - This tumblr post gives you a list of skills which you can learn for FREE. If any of the links have died then copy and paste the name of the website/company in google and it should come up.

Learn for free:

https://www.futurelearn.com/ - Courses written by universities ranging from Business Management to Public Health etc.

https://skillcrush.com/2016/03/15/64-online-resources-to-learn-to-code-for-free/ - Coding + more

https://www.coursera.org/ - A range of free courses on here too

https://www.khanacademy.org/ - Same again

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Psychology-Book-Nigel-Benson/dp/1405391243/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=psychology&qid=1557861646&s=gateway&sr=8-3 - If you're into reading these books cover a wide range of topics in an easily digestible way.

https://www.youtube.com/user/crashcourse - If you're bored or want to learn about pretty much any topic Crash Course is a good way to start as the videos are short and give you good references to explore further. You can learn anything from basic/high level statistics, coding, history etc.

-With regards to nihilism, let's say life is meaningless, why not make the most of it? You have a world to explore, there is beauty in the nature around you and there's so much you can learn. Even if life itself is meaningless it doesn't mean that you have to live like it is.

-I too am jealous of polymaths and incredible artists like Leonardo Da Vinci. I too wish I had the sheer dedication and obsession great minds like Nikola Tesla and Isaac Newton had to their dedicated fields. However, that doesn't mean I stop trying to to get there.

I am certain you have told yourself how much you can't do. But now it's time to explore what you can do. Put in the hours, time and effort and you will be great. Don't let anyone tell you you can't become anything, not even yourself.

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will" - Your dreams and goals are more likely to get destroyed by a lack of self belief than by failure itself. Believe in yourself!

"A year from now, you will have wish you started today" - So get some paper or make some notes on your laptop/phone (whatever you prefer) and make a list of things you want to do in life. Map out how you are going to get there (google is your friend) and give yourself specific and detailed targets with rigid dates.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZnsHxgKEIo&list=LLcv91TWa0e2eSSU9KSNJeqg&index=6&t=1s - Use this video to help make decisions. Chris is an educator, investor and former hedge fund manager. He worked for various very well known investment companies i.e. Goldman Sachs. He does a live call for a few hours usually every Thursday where he answers people's questions and sometimes is on there 3+ hours! He answers every single chat on his YouTube live stream so ask away, I'm certain he will be willing to help you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5SMyfbWYyE&list=LLcv91TWa0e2eSSU9KSNJeqg&index=126&t=0s - This last link is a very short inspirational speech from Steve Jobs so you can hear it from someone you know has been successful.

Even if you think you have wasted your childhood, don't waste your adulthood.

u/beck99an · 16 pointsr/getdisciplined

Your situation sounds incredibly similar to mine - except I'm a few years down the road from you.

I've now graduated from both college and from law school, and have been working as a lawyer for about 6 years. I still procrastinate far too often. (Right now is a good example).

Anyhow, about your question here's what I've done. Hopefully some of it is helpful to you.

Read up on procrastination - it's kind of fascinating. You know what you should be doing, but there's a disconnect between intention and action. Work isn't rewarding (short term). Not working is rewarding (short term). It'll be exactly the opposite down the road, but intellectual self can't convince emotional self to suffer the difficulty of work to experience the reward of having done something well and on time. And the reward of maybe playing some guilt-free video games or whatever else.

Cognitive behavioural therapy is also a very good idea, but I had difficulty finding a counselor and, once I found a good one, part of the difficulty in treating chronic procrastination is the fact that you're gonna want to procrastinate on the work you have to do to deal with the procrastination.

What's been very, very helpful to me is mindfulness meditation. 99% of the time I was just reacting without really being aware of the underlying difficulties that I was facing. Mindfulness can help start to untangle reactions and emotions and can help you start to see more clearly where the breakdown between intention and action is happening. You can find some good intro to mindfulness meditation lectures at audiodharma.

For CBT, in addition to finding a good counselor, the Feeling Good Handbook was recommended to me and is quite good. It has a terrible, cheesy title, and that's just life. The content is excellent.

Anyways, long story short, like someone else here said, willpower is a muscle, and you're going to have to exercise yours. Some of the tools I've listed above will make it easier to figure out what is at the root of your personal struggle and that, in turn, will make it easier to see when you're making that choice to procrastinate. But the simple answer is that there's nothing but hard work that will ultimately solve this for you, and I'm right there working hard with you.

u/RollingRED · 190 pointsr/getdisciplined

Aside from the suggestion to check for ADHD, you may also want to see if you are being hindered by perfectionism.

It sounds like you have an issue with procrastination. Is it just a lack of focus or is it because you psyche yourself out with your tasks?

I know quite a few people in your situation and I was one myself. We were called "gifted" or "talented" when young because we're able to coast through life at a young age. We then internalize those expectations and believe that because we're so smart (supposedly) that:

  • Working hard tells people we're not as gifted as they think we are
  • Everything we produce should be effortless and wow-worthy from the get go
  • If we work hard and fail it means we're actually dumb and worthless (since so much of our self-image is based on other people's perception of our talent)

    These ultimately lead to procrastination. Any tasks that present mid-difficulty or above will seem overwhelming because it would mean we have to put in more to produce an exceptional result. We procrastinate because it seems like so much effort is needed that it's overwhelming.

    The longer you procrastinate on a task, the more difficult it will seem and the more you feel pressured to give an exceptional result to show people it's worth the wait. That adds pressure and stresses you out everytime you think about it so you procrastinate some more.

    Rinse and repeat. Now you are weeks behind a supposedly simple deliverable.

    If that is what's happening to you I would suggest the following:

  1. Break tasks down into small manageable chunks that you can accomplish in 15 - 20 minutes (the Pomodoro technique)
  2. Put your tasks down on a To-Do list so when you check things off you can give yourself a sense of accomplishment. I personally like Asana but any tool can do.
  3. Learn to adopt the growth mindset (link goes to 10 min TED talk), which will help frame intelligence and success in a more positive way — you're always growing so failures don't define you— than what you've internalized until now
  4. Use positive visualization (imagining your desired outcome vividly) to clarify goals, overcome stress and build confidence

    I also highly recommend the book
    Psycho-Cybernetics, which is about how visualization will aid your subconscious to solve problems for you, including any self-image or confidence issues. Its techniques will also help you figure out what you really want from life and yourself.

    With the above tools and resources, plus a lot of reading and self-reflection, I was able to fix most of my procrastination problems and become the most productive member on my team. I hope they work for you as well. Good luck.
u/sciencelunatic · 7 pointsr/getdisciplined

I struggle with the same things as you do. I am in the process of changing my habits for the better. Here are a few things I have learned that might help you too:


1. I recommend you watch motivational speakers and read motivational blogs online.

It is not a waste of time. You want to accomplish things in your life and you don't know how to go about it. This is actually another skill just like programming/plumbing/speaking a language. And you can actually learn it. I have had a lot of misconceptions when I began this journey and some lectures and blogs have completely changed my mindset.


2. You said you have read all of these and you are too lazy to pick anything up from them. I do not know what kind of advice you have read but there is a difference between these.

  • Some of them focus on the tools that will help you (buy this and that software, get this year planner from xy and decorate it with stickers and markers!).
  • Some of them straight out tell you what exactly you should be doing (drink lemon water every morning so it boosts your metabolism and you will concentrate better!, exercise every day! write in a journal every morning for 10 minutes!)
  • Some of them tell you about the psychology of why you can not do the things you should be doing.

    The latter is the one that is the most important. The other two are great too (for example exercising is a very reasonable thing to recommend, thats why you see it on every 'Top 10 How to get motivated' list) but you can not go without understanding how your brain works and why you don't feel compelled to do the things you want to be doing.


    3. Motivation is overrated.

    You think every time you sit down to do something useful you need to feel motivated. When you make your plans for tomorrow you imagine yourself being happy and feeling good while doing the things you love and should be doing. You imagine it like you are the main character of a movie. Then you wake up the next morning, begin doing these things, and it is hard you are not happy at all and you feel horrible. So you stop working. The truth is: it is going to be hard. You are not going to feel like doing it. You will be frustrated, angry. There will be obstacles. There will be things you don't understand and have a hard time with them. It is going to be pain. Stop waiting to feel motivated. You are not going to feel motivated every day. What makes successful people different from everyone else is that they can handle the pain and the hardness of doing the things they want to be doing for a long time.


    4. Stop comparing yourself to everyone who you think is better than you.

    You see somebody you think is better than you and you feel horrible about yourself. You might even think you will never get that good because you are not that smart/creative, their genes are better than you, etc. I think this is bs. The only thing that matters is work. Those people have probably worked very hard to get where they are. They have struggled too. They have felt horrible about themselves too. They hit rock bottom once or twice. This is how you succeed, through hard, sweaty work. You are capable of achieving these things too. Everyone is capable to do anything. Everyone can learn how to do programming. Everyone can loose weight. Everyone can become an artist. There is no talent, no genetics, no 'I was born like this'. The difference is the willingness to work hard towards that goal.


    5. Stop thinking you are late.

    Do you feel like you should have started doing these things ages ago? Wish you started exercising/loosing weight 5 years ago so it would have been easier and you would be already at your goal weight? Wish you started programming when you were xy age so you could be at an advanced level right now? Stop thinking like that right now. Concentrate on the present moment. Being in the past and feeling down because you could have done better is not helping you at all. You can not change the past. You can only act in the present.


    6. Goals are overrated.

    Throw your goal-schedule away. Do not think you have to be 70 kgs by next month. Stop thinking we have to be an awesome programmer and artist by next year because we are already behind schedule, we should have been doing this for ages. When you think like this you just give up entirely because the deadlines you give yourself are too short. Stop thinking about these deadlines.


    7. Habits matter.

    For example your goal is to loose weight. This tells you nothing about what you have to do. Instead try saying: I will go jogging 3 times a week. I will not go eat at a fast food restaurant. I will eat 3 different vegetables every day. I will eat 3 meals every day: breakfast at 8 am, lunch at 1 pm and dinner at 5 pm. Every day, my lunch will contain a course of vegetable soup and a salad on the side. My dinner will fit on my smaller plates. These are habits. These are very specific, well defined actions. Once you set your mind to doing these, there is no question, no wiggle room of what you should be doing. Your brain can automatically do these things.


    8. Regularity matters more than volume.

    For example the jogging habit. It matters more that you put on your jogging clothes and go for a jog every day (even when you feel your worst) than the amount of time you can spend jogging. Even if you cloth up and go for a 10 minute run it makes the difference between day and night. Even if you cloth up and run around your house 3 times a week is better. This is because you likely will decide on some days: heck, I'm gonna run 10 more minutes if I'm already here. And then that becomes normal. Then you decide one day, oh well I'm not even tired right now, let's go for another 10 minutes. It comes naturally. What is really really hard is going for a 10 minute jog. Going for a 20 minute jog instead is not much more harder. This is why you have to tackle regularity first. Volume can be added later.


    9. Stop denying happiness from yourself.

    Stop thinking you should loose 20 more kgs and then you will be happy about your body. Stop thinking you should learn to program in xy language and write xy game and then you will be content with your skills. Start feeling good about yourself today. Because, why not? Is there any use in beating yourself up? Beating yourself up will not help you achieve your goals. It is not going to motivate you to be better. It only makes things worse. You will feel like you are not capable of what you want to be doing because you tell yourself you are stupid and bad and fat and etc. You are not any of these. You have plenty of work to do, that's true. But even today, you are better than you were yesterday because you are making an effort. Let yourself be happy and content when you come home from jogging because you have worked towards your goal today. Let yourself be happy when you have practiced drawing for half an hour because it moved you towards achieving your goal. If you focus on the result you get frustrated every day on the journey. If you focus on the practice, the work, you will be content every day and the goal will naturally be achieved because you are working on it.


    10. Be present in the moment.

    When you start your day and want to go watch anime or play video games just stop for a moment. Don't start working just stop and do nothing. Let yourself be present in the moment of right now and do nothing at all. No distractions. No computer. No TV. No music. No eating. No tidying up. Just feel the time pass by. Isn't it werid how slow time passes when you are not distracted? You will soon feel more awareness than you usually do in the mornings. Just like you feel at night, right before going to bed. Your brain can get in that state at night because you have eliminated all your distractions and you are laying in a bed doing nothing at all. You can do the same thing in the morning.


    11. Educate yourself further.

    Recognize any source of stress (mentioned above or not) and find a reason (by yourself or on the internet) why this mentality is wrong. Because it is always wrong. It is not helping you to work, but drags you down and makes you feel bad about yourself. There are numerous things I did not talk about or do not even know about that might be causing you problems. Go and find the resources you need to get rid of these thoughts. Search on the internet, ask another question on reddit, find videos, articles, books, anything.


    12. Sometimes the advice is not going to work for you.

    When you read this advice there might be things that did not hit target. Maybe I talked about something that was not a problem for you or it is but the advice does not work in your case. Ignore those points. Take away what works for you and leave the rest. Do not feel bad about something here not working for you. Every one of us is different, what works for me might not be good advice for you.


    I watch and read these people:

    http://jamesclear.com/

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssqOT0

    https://www.youtube.com/user/marieforleo

    https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Mind-Developing-Discipline-Challenge/dp/1608680908


    Some specific articles from James Clear that I really liked:

    http://jamesclear.com/stay-focused

    http://jamesclear.com/chemistry-habits

    http://jamesclear.com/choice-architecture

    http://jamesclear.com/akrasia

    http://jamesclear.com/better-sleep


    I also like read about Eastern philosophy, specifically Taoism. These philosophies are vastly different from the western culture and resonate more with these points.
u/ewiggle · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

First of all, be careful because this is a trap a lot of elite performers fall into. So make sure you don't place your value of self against external stuff like rewards and recognition because you don't want to fall into the same trap (e.g. like Rhonda Rousey did at one point) . All that external stuff is like a wave going up and down and up and down, that's not where you want to place yourself or your value. You are a stone - you're valuable, confident, persistent, and you don't give in or give up.

If I got the choice between choosing a teammate who's a hard worker and choosing one who won some 1st place prizes, guess who I'm picking - employers, especially the government ones, like to pick people with grit.

Second of all, you've proven that you have a high level of grit by not getting first place and still moving forward with your hard work and dedication.

I'd be willing to bet money that you'll be the more successful person 10 years from now, simply based on what I've read about you here. This little blip of external judgement that you received is nothing, don't let it misrepresent you by associating your value with it. On the scales, the person with the hard work ethic has way waaaaaaaay more value than the others. That's who you want on your team, and whoever ends up with you on their team is lucking out big time.

If you want a good explanation of why you're so valuable, check out the book called grit.

As for the "next level", well I can't speak with any authority on the matter but maybe check out the book so good they can't ignore you.

Separately, it looks like you've got a desire to improve your attitude and your social skills. That you brought it up at this point shows that it's been a long time coming, maybe something in the back of your mind that you've thought about improving for awhile yet haven't done so for whatever reason. While I can't say that pursuing that means you'll reach your "next level" or anything, social skills are a nice thing to have and can give you an edge in social situations . It's also just a nice life skill since it seems like you'll probably be working around people most of the time anyway.

However, I don't have any good advice for social skills :( I do know it takes practice, like anything. I also know that if anyone can make progress in that area, it's a hard worker. But, I'd put being kind over being social. Lots of nefarious social activity (I'm talking to you so you can give me something or make me feel some kind of way) out there and I think maybe that's why I'm not great at it since I associate the bad thing with the good thing. Ugh, yeah I got no advice for this section.

u/eperdu · 5 pointsr/getdisciplined

The book, 'Solving the Procrastination Puzzle' by Timothy Pychyl was really helpful for me recently. In a nutshell, he talks about how we put things off now because it feels good to do so, with the mistaken belief that we'll feel like doing it later.

​

>"When faced with a task where our natural inclination is to say, “I’ll do this later” or “I’ll feel more like this tomorrow,” we need to stop and recognize that we are saying this in order to avoid the negative emotions we are feeling right now." -- Timothy Pychyl

​

This is actually the review I wrote of the book when I originally read it:

A few things that I took away from it was the idea of self-regulation failure. "We fail to regulate our behaviors to achieve our own goals. We make an intention to act, but we do not use the self-control necessary to act when intended. We may voluntarily delay our action because we are unable or unwilling to self-regulate our behavior to act now." The idea is that we are giving in to something in order to feel good, instead of the long-term goals.


The author provides a technique for dealing with this in the form of "if..then" statements which can be crafted and used when we are in a situation. "IF I feel negative emotions when I face the task at hand, THEN I will stay put and not stop, put off a task, or run away." This is too generic for most people and does assume that one can recognize emotions.


A more specific example in the book: "IF I say to myself things like, "I'll feel more like doing this later" or "I don't feel like doing this now." THEN I will just get started on some aspect of the task."
I've used this technique before (prior to reading the book) and it has been enormously successful for me because I'm pushing myself to not do what I really want to do. I may do something like print out papers, organize folders, etc. that are all related to the work I'm dreading but I'm still putting myself in that space instead of somewhere else. It's helpful because once I've gone through these seemingly simple and non-related tasks, my mind is focused and I'm able to start doing the actual work. As an example, when I need to study for a test but don't want to. I will print out study guides, mark off sections I need to spend the most time on, highlight areas I don't know well, get my vocabulary cards organized, etc. I'm then prepared and READY to study and I'm able to put in a solid amount of time.

One other idea that I really liked is that, "procrastination is a problem with not getting on with life itself." The thought that my life isn't going in a direction I want being directly attributable to what I'm doing now was pretty powerful for me. It's not rocket science and I know this intellectually but for some reason it really resonated with me as I read it this time. This is my goals and my life and I'm ignoring it in favor of something else. What value is there in this? It makes you stop and think.

u/BasicDesignAdvice · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

mostly meditation, exercise, and a positive journal. i try and meditate twenty minutes daily and i also write one page in my journal everyday. i also exercise for a half hour every day (alternating running and body weight training). my journal entries start with three things i am grateful for and/or make me happy, followed by one in detail description of something positive from the last twenty four hours. both range from large things to small, as long as they make me happy. both of these train your brain to scan the environment for positive things.

all of this is stuff i learned from The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, whom i discovered via his TED talk.

if you like i can send you the ebook version that i have. that book really changed my perspective on my own thoughts. overall a hugely rewarding read. i think i liked the book so much because it was exhaustively cited. Achor himself is pretty accomplished in the field of positive psychology.

u/rmcmahan · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

I have a copy and waiting to read it after finishing another great book on getting good at stuff.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

Duckworth dives into the common traits of people who excel in their field or hobby. She agrees on the point that time invested is crucial, but also the components of how to continue improving. The problem is many people get excited about learning/trying something new, but quit after a short period. Or others who only see the top performing people and think they could never get to be like that when really those top performers just did behaviors anyone can do over a long period of time and with good feedback and a specific set of behaviors to continuously improve.

And the truth is, very few people will be the best at something. For most people, just being better than average is an accomplishment.

u/HailStormBuffalo · 10 pointsr/getdisciplined

Well, I have been in this situation for decades, but I've been paying attention to the problem and finally I feel like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

​

There is a theory called "The Rider, the Elephant and the Path". you can watch a video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9KP8uiGZTs.

​

I would make a slighty change to that theory. I would not name it "The Rider, the Elephant and the Path", but "The Rider, the Elephant and the Destination". For me, being aware of the destination is more important that making the path easier. According to the Stoic philosophers, you cannot change what is outside of you, but only what is inside. Thus, you cannot change the path, but you can change the picture in your mind of your destination. What I am learning is that having a picture in your mind of your destination is very important. Is your goal.

​

My recomendations to read:

  • The Parkinsowns law. It is about how we manage time.
  • The Will to Die (Dorothea Brande's book: "Wake up and Live") find it in Amazon.
  • The Strangest Sectret, by Earl Nightingale (do not confuse it with "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne)
  • As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
  • Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz
  • If How-To's Were Enough We Would All be Skinny, Rich and Happy by Brian Klemmer
  • Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers

    (I am not receiving any commision from amazon or anyone by recomending this resources)

    ​

    I am sharing with you all the resources I am using. You have to be realistic and understand that It will take some time for you to change your ways. For me its been around three or four years, but it does not have to be the same for you.

    ​

    When I read a book I do not finish it and begin to read my next book. No, I don't do that. I jump to other books and come back and learn. My goal is not to win a trophy for reading a lot of books, but to understand how they are linked to each other. To illustrate this, watch this video from Tai Lopez recorded way before he was famous. I've read and listened to the audio version of "The Strangest Secret" multiple times, more than 20. I still turn my car stereo and listen to the audio version from Amazon during my commute. It is a small but very powerful teaching.

    ​

    I recomend for you to begin with "The Stranget Secret" and stick with it for a few months. It is not about you noding and then go and read your next book. In the book "As a man Thinketh" there is a powerful line: You have to learn how to "watch, control, and alter your thoughts." If you can do that, you are in the next level.

    ​

    Use a journal, and try to write anything you learn and the connections you made with the material you read.

    ​

    After "The Strangest Secret" I read "Wake up and Live". In the meanwhile I was also reading "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway". It is very intersting how you can read along two or three books and link the ideas together. The book "If How-To's Were Enough" is very powerful too. It will show you the real reason behind why you do not finish your work.

    ​

    I hope you take at least a month to read and follow what is in this entry in Reddit. It took me three or four years to digest those books and videos. Please do not watch one after another. Take your time to reflect and make notes in your journal. Write and make drawings of all your thoughts. You will need them later, when trying to make conections between recources.

    ​

    I leave you with one of my favorite videos on the subject, Think BIG.

    ​

    Cheers!

    ​

    ​
u/lagenevoise · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

Hi, I've gone through the same stuff, and sorry to break it to you but you never completely change, but you CAN put in a lot of structures around you to make it easier for you to follow through on what you want to do. Here are some tips that worked for me.

a) Don't schedule more than 5 small tasks for the day, just make sure they're 5 useful ones that'll get you started on whatever project it is. Try to setting out the things you need for the task ahead of time, like just putting your workout clothes out on your bed. Overplanning your day with a schedule of exactly what you're going to do (which you're likely to not follow anyway) is just a distraction from actually doing something.

b) Get yourself out of the house (which might be hard itself) and take JUST the things you need to work and go sit down somewhere your computer screen is visible [ like a cafe ] and then try to work in in 25 minute chunks of time (Pomodoro Technique : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique). If you can bring a friend along to chat with during those 5 minute breaks, that helps!

c) Try using this journal (https://www.amazon.com/Go-Journal-Cultivate-Gratitude-self-Reflection/dp/B01MY29EBA/ref=sr_1_39?keywords=90+day+journal&qid=1572460766&sr=8-39) so you don't have to spend that much energy setting things up, and also concretize goals and small actions you can take towards them. I recommend trying TINY actions for each day, such as just opening a textbook to the right page or drafting bullet points for an important e-mail rather than actually writing it & sending it out ( I get fear paralysis).

d) Watch this Ted Talk which provides a framework about what to do when you're procrastinating, I think you might relate to a lot of what this guy talks about: https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator

e) If you can afford it, try some apps/systems that make you lose money when you don't follow through on an action you had decided you would do, eg. my gym charges me $15 for each booked class I don't show up to, and that definitely gets me going.

f) The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is a really compelling read on how habits determine what we do & don't do, and how we can form new habits to change the way we live. You can try implementing a couple of those, and there's a lot more content on the topic out there.

e) The moment you have an impulse or any motivation to do something, drop everything else and MOVE to do it right away, don't just write it in your endless to do list.

Sorry this is a lot, and isn't all connected, but I hope it helps!

u/kornerstoane · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

Since your grades are obviously important to you, you should consider investing $20 in this book (and read it, of course): https://www.amazon.com/Make-Stick-Science-Successful-Learning/dp/0674729013/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518275286&sr=8-1&keywords=make+it+stick

Before pursuing the "disability" thought, you might just need to go about it differently. This book cites scientific research done in the area of learning and recall and challenges many common study techniques that feel right, but don't produce the expected results in research studies. This is only a suggestion. It is enlightening, though. The book is co-written by a professional story teller, which helps to bring the many case studies to life. You might want to skip to the last chapter about Tips for Students to see a couple of case studies that might encourage you.

I wish I had this information available to me when I was in school. I teach a programming class now, and I see a lot of success in the students that are unwittingly doing some of the things described in this book to improve recall. I also have students who "read and re-read the lecture materials" who don't actually do as well when it comes to sitting down and programming something simple at the keyboard.

EDIT: I am in no way affiliated with the authors of the book. It was given to me as a gift for Christmas and it has made a difference in how I go about learning and teaching.

u/ToiletSoul · 6 pointsr/getdisciplined

Trying to change too many things at once?

What's so bad about enjoying chocolate/chips/junk in moderation? If it's a weight-loss thing, then all you gotta worry about is total calories. If it's just general health, it might be better to change your diet one food at a time. A couple years back, I was able to lose 20lb while having a diet that consisted mostly of junk and restaurant food just by only worrying about my total calories.

Something that seems to drive me towards healthier food is training for something like a half marathon. The farther I get into the training program the more I seem to crave healthy food.

I still crave junk food but it's more a taste thing. For sweets, I found that having a piece or two of 100% dark chocolate https://www.amazon.com/Montezumas-Chocolate-Absolute-Black-Cocoa/dp/B072K1B8VL seems to tide me over for a whole day. I still haven't found a suitable equivalent for when I'm craving something savory.

Also, general advice, you better have a damn good reason for why you want to hit the gym, mediate, do yoga, tidy up, and so on. If it's because that's what "successful people do" then you ain't gonna get anywhere. If you have more internal reasons for them, you're much more likely to be successful with your plan.

My fitness motivation went through the roof after seeing a 400lb coworker struggle walking up just 3 stairs. I'm under 200lb but I could easily see myself becoming him over 20-30 years and I felt viscerally disgusted by the loss of mobility from being 400lb.

I meditated for about a month and half to help with minor anxiety. It worked but my desire to meditate went away with the anxiety. I don't care if some CEO says meditation is required for being successful, to me it's just a waste of time right now.

Water at work is easy if you're an office worker. Fill up a big bottle and drink every time you're bored. I can easily get 8 cups of water before lunch this way.

u/Krypto_74 · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

Brains are a lot like our bodies: after a while, they begin to crave what we feed them on a routine basis. If you have an appetite for games and watching movies, it's because you decided to engage in the behavior consciously previously in your life. You could've done something different, but you chose to go with what felt easy and good. This isn't a bad thing either, just know that you've had an active role in the creation of your habits.

On the other side of the coin, choosing to engage in a new behavior doesn't mean you have to throw your entire life into upheaval. Start today by adding one new habit. That's it, just one thing you can do today for 5-10 minutes. BUT, you'll repeat the behavior every day. From this, you gain momentum, and will naturally want to spend more time engaged in your new habit because it feels so natural to you. It's become just "something that I do" and you won't have to force yourself to do it. Someone else recommended The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, and it's a fine book, but I much prefer The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. He describes how small actions taken over time lead to big results, and in surprising ways how seemingly insignificant decisions about what to do with our time can radically change our lives.

Check it out, I think you'll get a lot out of it.

u/rightcross · 0 pointsr/getdisciplined

Using drugs to find a sense of self worth is a spiral without end. Why don't you work on yourself? You're a successful young man with your best years ahead of you. You can build confidence. Get a nice hair cut, buy a pair of good looking shoes. Lift weights. Lots of guys "go to the gym", but don't do it right. Pick up Starting Strength, and do GOMAD, or half of it. You may potentially be able to put on 10 kg of muscle in a year. "Fake it till you make it" is real. Act confident. Convince yourself that you're worth something. Different things work for different people. You can find a creed or mantra that you can repeat to yourself. Or you can sit down every day and write down all your good qualities. I listen to certain music when I have an oral exam or an interview. Put yourself out of your comfort zone. Force yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable. Make yourself approach women just for the sake of it. It's just a mental block, they don't bite unless you want them to. Maybe pick up a combat sport, for example BJJ or Judo. You'll start out being handled like a kitten, but as you get better you'll feel yourself grow mentally. You don't need drugs or alcohol to feel good about yourself. Use them for fun if you want, but you shouldn't depend on them.

u/captainzoobydooby · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

I've long suffered with procrastination, and honestly, my suggestion is going to sound kind of ridiculous. No special tips or tricks---- just what's worked for me. Every time there's something I should do, I just do it.

I always wanted to be one of those people that just got things DONE. No hesitation, no procrastination---- as soon as a task presented itself, I wanted to be one of those people that just tackled it. I've slowly been trying to mold myself into one of those people by simply just doing things instead of thinking about doing things.

Some things that I've found useful:
-If I find myself thinking "Oh, I should really do x, y, z....", I try to shut down the "I should" process and jump immediately into action. Staring at a dirty dish in the sink? Looking at a pile of paperwork that needs to be sorted? Instead of thinking "I should do this", I immediately shut down the "thinking" part of my brain and just DO IT. Try to make it impulsive. Impulsive can be positive.

u/[deleted] · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

Another incarnation of yourself in about 10 years here. I've got without much effort through school and with the end of high school the struggle already started. I was not able to finish my university education till now, still working on it and fighting the distractions.

Just some thoughts:

> I know I could be too but that just gets me more discouraged.

Please get rid of that idea. Please! I could too do foo, bar, baz. You don't. There is no could. It's only in your mind. There is only I'm doing it or I'm not doing it. I could doing it, but means you are not doing it..

You comparing yourself and in your imagination you'll loose. This only further discourages you and only makes you more desperate to be able to do things. Really get rid of the But I could do...

If you are remotely like me, you are somewhere full of anxiety and insecurities. What If I can't do it? What if I fail? etc.pp this amplifies the distraction. This is subtle and hard to combat...

So what do to?

Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Also fight the urge to ponder about your problems all the time.

Stop comparing yourself to others all the time. Start comparing yourself if you need to yourself a week/month/year ago and look for improvements.

Reads nice, like directly taken out of a self-help book... well it's true but It's hard to implement...

You can't think yourself out of a hole, you have to act!

Calm down, make a plan and then execute in small steps! Be honest to yourself, re-iterate your plans and adapt them to your reality. If you failed your shedule, re-shedule it and look where you failed. Start with one (I mean it! And it can be hard) item per day. Follow that shedule religiously (It's only one item) and then build on up on that. Add another item to the shedule every week or every second week.

To actually fight the circle, get out there and exercise. Run till you are sweaty. Repat, make daily push-ups, join a sports club, do martial arts (I'd recommend Judo), something in a loosely group that pushes you to your edge a few times a week. Trust me, it will do wonders to your mood and focus. Try to push your body, it's connected to your mind. Also check your diet. For me eating sugary stuff killes my mood and makes me a distracted monster.

You've probably read on these tips elserwhere.. e.g. eat well and good, do lot's of exercise.. but putting them into action is hard work. I'd say instead of beating yourself up and trying to compete with your classmates explore your body through exercise and learn to cook and eat well. It's pretty rewarding.

If you want to read up on getting your thoughts in order I'd recommend The feeling good handbook

It's no bullshit, logic thinking and sorting out yourself but it's also work.

So basically organise your life in such a way that if you hit a downward cycle something is able to catch you up. Be it an sports appointment, a good dinner with friends or whatever.

And keep calm, start slow... good luck. You'll relapse, no problem. Try again!

Also: More Street, Less TV, more Books, less Internet.. blablabla...

Enjoy yourself :)

u/self-confidence · 9 pointsr/getdisciplined

1.) Visit https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines

2.) As the joe said, get your drug problem under control.

3.) Build confidence. Almost all your problems/fears/stress will disappear by building confidence. There's many ways to do this. The main ones that worked for me were: (a) Exercise/work out, (b) Take a public speaking class, and (c) Fake it till you make/become it ,essentially mindset change (ex: from, "I'm not prepared to face the real world" to, "Bitch, I'll handle anything you throw at me!" - EVEN IF you know that that's not true)

4.) Get skills for a job. I'm still working on this so I may not be of much help. r/getemployed

5.) Read. One of my favorites is The Compound Effect. How to Win Friends & Influence People was a good primer when I was starting self-help.





u/unfluffed · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

Hey Doctor B86 thanks for reading! Will check out the book :) The idea of leaving social media is to out yourself in an uncomfortable position - to see how much you can tolerate the "pain" of going without something that is of convenience. I define grit as one's ability to endure these pains. After all, anyone who is successful at anything as you say requires that perseverance, and perseverance goes hand in hand with going out of your comfort zone.

Edit: NON-AFFILIATE LINK TO THE BOOK

u/rtza · 22 pointsr/getdisciplined

It is better to be process oriented than results oriented. You should learn to enjoy the act of practice, rather than just looking forward to the result. It is rare for anyone to ever feel they have mastered a skill, so looking forward to being good at something might mean you will always feel uneasy at your progress.

This book is pretty good and covers this in some detail: https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-Mind-Developing-Discipline-Challenge/dp/1608680908

u/xferok · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

Two things.

First - you're vices are too easy for you to access; you need to change that. You can block websites using host files (google it) to make them harder to access. For example, I can only access Facebook and Reddit from my phone.

Second - you need to read up on how to be productive. If there is one thing in the whole world I could recommend you - it would be this book. I read tons of motivational and discipline non-fiction, and that is by far the best one. If you can't work, try to read things that can motivate you. I would explain more, but everything you need to know is in that book. Good luck

u/bozwood · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

I am late here so I hope this makes it to you. I can relate to much of what you are dealing with from a variety of angles.

Here is something that you can do on your own, is specific, and, I believe, has the potential to be very effective.

Read this book (no affiliation)

It is very good and I think very well aligned with what you need. And, then, do the sentence completion exercises. This is key. I believe they are legit and effective at getting to core issues.

u/iambob2 · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

do some things that you don't tell anyone in your circles about, like reading a self-improvement book. go on a walk (in a safe area at a safe time, obviously) by yourself.

i'm 15 pages into "6 pillars of self esteem" and the bits about self-sabotage are changing my world.

https://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem-Definitive-Leading/dp/0553374397

i would sabotage myself because i believed my life should be a certain way. i would doubt myself and refer to others for their opinions. i would tuck my dreams away because those were for other people.

dream about your dream-job, obviously, but also dream about the ways to get there. dream about the ways you could change your current job to be better. sounds lame, but i just got my work to cover my phone bill and switch to a new provider that has better coverage. the little things add up. scheduling your work outs and bringing a work out bag to work might help you get back on track, too. maybe only smoke weed to go to sleep. you are unfulfilled, you want to accomplish more things, i can tell that from the way that you wrote your post. weed can help with stress and insomnia but not so much with a lack of fulfillment.

EDIT: also, only decide to watch tv when you want to put your mind on a low setting. tv is not fulfilling either. at least not for me.

u/hiigaran · 8 pointsr/getdisciplined

You are a procrastinator BECAUSE you are a perfectionist. Your perfectionism is misguided, you can use it as a justification to sit on your hands for long periods of time. When I was in college I would not do essays or programming projects because "I'm not sure how to do it right yet. I'll think about it more and figure it out before I start." A week later I had still done absolutely nothing.

Your procrastination is a mood repair strategy you deploy unconsciously and habitually in order to protect yourself from feeling bad about not doing your work.

My advice? Learn a little bit about Growth mindset, shame and self-compassion. You need to find a way to quiet your perfectionism first. By taking care of the perfectionism you give yourself room to practice and failure won't be as scary. At that point I would put money on the bet that your procrastination will virtually vanish.

Good books for reading to deal with that:

u/Linux_Enthusiast · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

Just to piggyback on this, there's a fantastic book about the affects of tidying by Marie Kondo, called the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Fantastic read, it changed my views on a lot of things. It's definitely worth the read if you have the time.

u/gonzoparenting · 255 pointsr/getdisciplined

Eating the frog first.

Basically I do the thing I really don't want to do first and then the rest of the day is awesome! Plus that thing is usually not as bad I think it is.

u/griminald · 5 pointsr/getdisciplined

Just wanted to throw this here, too:

I just finished the Audible version of The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do To Get More of It

The author is a Stanford psychologist, and this book roughly follows the curriculum of her course, "The Science of Willpower", which was one of the most popular courses ever run at Stanford.

It's designed to be approached in a sort of "one chapter per week" mindset, with self-experiments to conduct in each week and anecdotes of how some of her students approached their issues on each topic.

IMO it's a great book for people who lack a "connection" to other material they're reading.

u/Hynjia · 8 pointsr/getdisciplined

I got you! Make It Stick! This right here is a very, very good book if you want to learn...just about anything!

u/di0spyr0s · 6 pointsr/getdisciplined

If you struggle with stuff I highly recommend Marie kondo's book, the life changing magic of tidying up

Otherwise! Keep it up! Your space will feel sooo much better afterwards!

u/remembertosmilebot · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

Did you know Amazon will donate a portion of every purchase if you shop by going to smile.amazon.com instead? Over $50,000,000 has been raised for charity - all you need to do is change the URL!

Here are your smile-ified links:

Marie Kondo, called the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

---

^^i'm ^^a ^^friendly bot

u/vraiment_cute · 2 pointsr/getdisciplined

I just finished reading a book called The Willpower Instinct and one thing that stuck out to me is that we always have two sides to us that are constantly struggling with each other - first is the immediate gratification. The other is the strong-willed one who wants to reach their goals.

Every time you are about to go on reddit or play video games, think to yourself "does this action align with my end goal?" I had a problem with always drinking soda, but my end goal was to consume less sugar. So instead of drinking a Coke and thinking "ahh, it's just a treat - it doesn't count", I'd look at it and think "drinking this doesn't align with my end goal."

Thinking about things and how they relate to my goals helped me stop procrastinating. I really recommend you read that book. I finished it in 2 or 3 days.

u/K80_k · 1 pointr/getdisciplined

Check out the book Eat That Frog
edit: formatting

u/sonicsnare · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

I think it's a phrase but Eat That Frog! brought it to my (and probably others') attention.

u/AnthonyG23 · 7 pointsr/getdisciplined

I think Brian Tracy also wrote a book on this...

Amazon link to book