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I'm going to third Taking Charge of Your Fertility and also the subreddit /r/tryingforababy has some great info.

I wish your doctor would have explained that to you more thoroughly because it takes a long time to get a handle on what this all means.

If you're still worried, ask for a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist for testing. This is expensive and so I wouldn't consider it the first course of action.

Basal Body Temperature

Spend at least one cycle taking your temperature with a basal body thermometer (they're more sensitive to slight temperature fluctuations) at the same exact time, every morning before you even get out of bed. It's very important that it's done upon waking without getting up for at least 3 hours prior.


Chart this temperature for a whole cycle (if you ovulate, it wouldn't be unusual to see the temperature spike several tenths of a degree around days 14, 15, or sometimes even 16. It should then stay up for two weeks (use the first day it spiked as ovulation day and you can predict your period should come exactly 14 to 15 days afterward.) Were you to get pregnant it would have been due to sex three days before up to one day after ovulation day. If you're pregnant, your temperature will stay up past the two week mark. Then you would want to take a pregnancy test.

Some women chart their Basal Body Temperature, or BBT, on paper, but many use FertilityFriend.com. It's free and extremely helpful in visualizing what your cycle is up to.


Ovulation Predictor Kits, or LH Surge Predicting

Your LH hormone surge is what tells your body to release an egg. Test with urine (preferably after not drinking water for two hours before you test, which sucks) with these - most women use them and they're cheap and effective. Did I mention cheap? The directions are on the packaging but the test line needs to be as dark or darker than the control line. The best time of day to test is anywhere from 11am to 3pm. That's when your surge should show up in urine.


Cervical Mucus

Another great way to see if you're ovulating is to monitor your cervical mucus. Here's a great website explanation of the different consistencies you should watch for. Basically, if it's super slippery, stretchy and wet/clear, like egg whites, it's go time. Think of it this way: if you were a little sperm, what would be easiest to swim through? The stuff that's already like semen. Wet, slippery, etc. Not dry, not like hand lotion, and definitely not sticky/pasty/thick.


Finally,

If none of these signs point to ovulation, then I would see a specialist. If you seem to ovulate but still aren't getting pregnant, it could be your tubes or your uterus creating an issue. For all else, the ladies at /r/tryingforababy are great with answering questions, too.

Welcome! However, I don't want you here ;) - we don't want to be here either, so I hope you're going to be okay and won't need to come back to this sometimes sad place. Good luck.



Edit: Also, the good news is your age - the sooner you learn what's going on, the better, because your body is still so young!

I've had to take a fairly similar strategy. I vent like crazy online and to friends who get it, but I don't think anyone in my family or any of my friends realize quite how much inner turmoil I have. I do a lot of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with my patients, and I felt like it would be incredibly hypocritical of me to be encouraging my patients to do exposures while actually doing a lot of avoidance in my own life. I wish I'd read this book (Coping With Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss: Finding Perspective and Creating Meaning) right after my miscarriage, but over time I did a lot of what it recommends just based on the techniques I use with my own patients.

I was, of course, pregnant at the same time as my best friend, and she, of course, has a healthy nearly one year old. But I love her dearly, and even though she's said some things that have really hurt me, I just can't distance myself from her.

My youngest older brother also had his first a month or two before mine would have been born. Every time I see my nephew is a reminder that there should have been two other babies in our family that same age. But I love my nephew and my brother and my sister in law, and I love spending time with them even though it breaks my heart.

And to top it off, I naively signed up for two rotations from July - December 2016 that had me working with pregnant and postpartum women every wednesday (I didn't know about my Asherman's yet, but honestly I would have done it anyway). This really strengthened my compartmentalization skills, because I had to set aside my feelings to be able to really be there for my patients. My hardest day was when I had to work a patient I had seen in January earlier that year. Back then, she was just a week or two behind me in her pregnancy, and we were both having bleeds and she was worried she had miscarried. Well, despite all her various risk factors, she delivered a healthy live baby and I miscarried. I had to take a walk after that appointment, but I survived it, and I survived seeing her again. And I really love Perinatal Psychiatry, and want it to be part of my career. I don't want what I'm going through to completely derail my plans.

However, while my personal strategy has been to bombard myself with exposure, I do try not to push that on anyone else. We're all at different places in our journeys, and like you said, sometimes space is absolutely the right thing, and some people are not worth keeping in our lives.

I'm late to respond, but feel compelled to.

I am a Christian, and have been so since my early childhood. Prayer, Bible reading, faith and community are the pillars of my life.

I have had to come to terms with the fact that God is not a divine Santa Claus, who will give me all that I want, if I behave well, and ask nicely.

More than a decade ago, I asked God to save my marriage: He didn't. I asked him to heal my dad of cancer: He didn't. While I could somehow rationalize the end of my marriage - it was the logical consequence of some extremely poor choices, I just could not make sense of my father's death. These events led me to test and examine my faith in a way that I had not before.

It took me a few years to work through these questions. In some ways, I'm still working through them. In this time, I have raged, I have cried, I have been bitter, angry and jealous of everyone else's seemingly perfect life. Going to church every week and seeing all the people my age living my dream life, while I stand on the outside, looking on, were and are one of the hardest things I've had to face. Most of the women in my age group now have teenagers. Some of them have had surprise 3rd, 4th, 5th pregnancies! Young women who were born when I was in high school are now having children. And here I stand, remarried at 35, now turning 41, still waiting for my first child.

In my head, I know that this is a lopsided view. I know every single person has struggles, some that are public and visible, many that are not. But that doesn't lessen my loss, and that is also true.

What has also happened in this time is a maturing of my faith. Today, it is stronger, storm battered, weathered. I have a more clear eyed view of God's love. I've relearned that God's love for me is not earned by my actions. It is not proved by whether He gives me what I pray for. God loves me unconditionally, and He proved this by what He accomplished on the cross. Period. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise that life will be fair and equitable to all. In fact, it is filled with countless examples to the contrary. What the Bible does reveal is a God who walks with his people, strengthening, comforting, and yes, sometimes delivering them.

As I face infertility, I find strength by leaning on God and His word. I still weep and rage. But I find immense comfort and strength in knowing that God sees me, He cares, and He will answer my prayers - though I can't predict what the answer will be.

OP, others have mentioned this before me, I will echo their advice. Lean in to your pain. Struggle with your questions. Cry, scream and rage at God if that's what you honestly feel. He is big enough to handle it.

I hope you can find a group of people, or even one person, who is willing to walk with you on this road. If and when you are up for it, read books or blogs written by people who have walked through difficult paths.

Thank you for sharing your vulnerability. Sending you much strength and peace.

Some of them were my phone, but the better ones (haha) were taken on a Sony a5100. It's compact and good if you're getting into photography a bit to start with. There are many similar cameras around now, but my husband did tons of research and chose this one (I'd need him to give the reasons why, but its been great!)

He gave it to me for my birthday in March 2015 and I've loved it so far...small enough to go in my purse and take out at bars/events...but great for trips and these landscape type photos. Good quality from its auto settings, but numerous capabilities for changing the settings when needed for a more manual experience. And interchangeable lens capabilities. A fun flip screen for selfies. :) And wifi capabilities to send pics straight to your phone/other device for quick sharing! Oh and it takes video.

It does not have a viewfinder, which is hard/not great for some types of photography.

)

Glad to share, we've had a lot of fun with it! For canning, this site has some really good general info and basic recipes. Lately I use this book more, but she does not use pectin, I still do. Her process often involves extra steps with separating solids from liquid and cooking down the liquid - I don't do that, too much time and mess.

For fermenting, I went to a workshop to learn the basics. I'm really liking it because of how flexible and easy it is - no water baths and sterilizing, recipes aren't really needed. This site has a good guide for brine strength, but I approximate how much salt, and it's been fine. A basic sauerkraut, you slice up a head of cabbage, reserving the pieces of the core. Sprinkle about 3 tablespoons of Celtic sea salt or Himalayan pink salt (or some kind of salt with no additives) and massage it in for a few minutes. Sprinkle on some caraway seeds and mix in. Then pack it into a quart size, clean, ball jar. Pack it down firmly as you fill it, I use my fist, but you can get a sauerkraut packer - a wooden instrument to pack down krauts. Add all the liquid it has released too. Leave about 1-1.5 inches of head space, place the cabbage core and put a lid on it. The cabbage core is in lieu of other kinds of weight, basically you need the veg to stay under the liquid throughout. The cabbage should release enough liquid to cover it, but if not, add brine (3 tablespoons salt per quart) to cover. Then just let the good bacteria go to work for a few weeks, making sure to burp your jar every day at the beginning, then less frequently. In our first batch this year we forgot the first day after, and then the next day when we released the pressure it sprayed all over like a shaken can of soda. Because I am lazy, I got these lids that prevent the need for that step, but I still had one overflow because my cabbage released more water than I expected.

That is a basic recipe, but you can put in whatever you want, and just make sure it has enough brine. We made one with julienned beets, kohlrabi, onion, and carrot with some pickling spices. I did another with cabbage, greens, beets, onion and kohlrabi with mustard seed and oregano. These folks who ran the workshop I went to list their products here and there are some really good ideas for what combinations you might try. Have fun with it!

I'm sorry for your loss.

I am also hopeful that deciding to stop pursuing treatment will help you regain some sense of control.

I have recommended this book before but still think it was the only infertility book that actually helped me. They had unexplained infertility but once they decided they were done treatment, they went back on birth control - why? Because, as you said, the sliver of hope took away their ability to truly move on.

http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Grapes-Being-Infertile-Living/dp/0944934234

Much hope for your happy and meaningful future

If you haven't read It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF https://www.amazon.com/dp/0991126904/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_OkuIL8ErKSxGQ

I highly recommend it. Fett has a degrees in molecular biotechnology and biochemistry and devotes an entire chapter on CoQ10. She notes it takes at least 4-5 months for any supplement to actually make a difference.

She also struggled with infertility.

I'm no expert on anything. Just sharing some knowledge that a fellow subredditer shared with me. I've been taking her recommend brand and dosage for almost four months.

Just had Endo/septum/fibroid/polip surgery so, currently my lady garden is under construction.

Regardless, I wish you well in your journey.😊

The days leading up to mTESE are so stressful. I get very worried about anesthesia too and I was glad when it was over. Having some sort of answer to be able to move forward is helpful though. Since you are starting stims, do you have donor backup?Or are they very confident that they will find sperm? I know that for us they were not very confident so we did not have a plan to start stims, but I know that many people do.


The hardest part of recovery for my husband was post-op constipation so I suggest a high fiber diet in the days leading up to surgery and starting colace maybe even preop. He was in intractable abdominal pain for a day because of the constipation, it was awful. The overall surgery recovery was not bad. They gave us a support in the hospital, and I purchased some jockstraps through amazon so that he could continue to wear them for several weeks. These (https://www.amazon.com/TheraPearl-Reusable-Athletes-Flexible-Arthritis/dp/B002OSWW34/ref=asc_df_B002OSWW34/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198079638645&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=516655975915483981&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001905&hvtargid=pla-382789179506&psc=1) ice packs were awesome because they mold really nicely. I think we were having sex and he was running within the month. Though it honestly took a couple of months for him to feel fully back to normal. Feel free to PM me (or respond here) if you have other questions.

my nurse was fairly adamant about Lupron in the fridge. She told me it's technically ok at room temp for 28 days, but the potency goes down so they say just stick it in the fridge. I think I shared once before, but I got this: https://www.amazon.com/Neoprene-Insulated-Insulin-Medicine-Makeup/dp/B0089SFJLU/ref=sr_1_19_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1494356149&sr=8-19&keywords=icy%2Bcools&th=1

(and it kept it cool for 8+ hrs... it was nice to me because it is something I can reuse afterwards for small snacks or whatever. I didn't really like the insulin ones because they had pockets and such and I would not use that again)


On the way to my destination, I "claimed" the items and told the security person I had sharps and an ice pack for meds. they were like "yeah ok" I kept it in the original box because it was just one vial of Lupron. For Menopur- I would ditch the extra stuff and condense. They don't know what all is supposed to be included ya know? I kept pharmacy label on my lupron box in case they questioned it. I saw them take it off the belt and look inside them put my little kit back. No questions. On the way home, I didn't even mention I had meds and I didn't notice that they checked anything.

The BPA free is an excellent idea. Ours that we've been using aren't, and now I kind of want to get new ones! I googled and found this one which would be nice because it has an AM and PM side!

ETA This one is super cool too!! And you can take off each day to throw in your purse if you need to. I think I may order one of these now haha. (another edit--nevermind, this one is quite expensive!)

I posted this in a different sub a couple days ago but didn't get much for response. Wonder if you have some suggestions, given that there are men and women here.

The gist of it being, I'm feeling very low right now about this supposed TTC thing. I know my circumstances are a bit different, and comparatively speaking we haven't tried for all that long. I find myself overwhelmed by grief and underwhelmed by the thought of ever getting another positive. I find myself wondering what my magic numbers are. How many cycles before I don't want to anymore? How many miscarriages can I ensure before I can't anymore? How do I figure out these answers?

Meanwhile it feels like my husband is at about the same place he was a year ago when we lost #2. The sort of yeah, its sad but it will be better. (Will it? Really? You think we'll get to leave planet-my-baby-died? I'm pretty sure it's lifetime membership....)

I wouldn't say I'm resentful, I'm just disappointed that he and I see this so differently and can't be better comfort to each other. I wish I could have his shoulder shrug it'll get better approach to it all. I wish he could understand just how broken and unsuccessful i feel after all this time with no result.

We talked a bit about this, last week. I told him how I wanted him to have a deeper understanding from a knowledge point of view. Mainly so that when we go to our infertility/repeat miscarriage appointment, he can understand and contribute to the discussion. Because I expect I'll be in tears within a minute, and too upset to remember anything or answer anything.


So now that we're on that page, I have to figure out what I would like him to read. Not Broken was excellent and I think gives a good overview of everything....

Does anyone else have suggestions? What was a must read for your partner, for you??



What else can I suggest that might be shorter or different that will help him understand this journey?

Welcome to the shitty society! You're going to get a lot of advice from all us here, and it can be very overwhelming. So. Are you trying to get pregnant? Did your GYN do testing for STDs? There's a lot of infections which can cause damage to your uterus and fallopian tubes, resulting in infertility.

Beaver gave a great explanation of your cycle in brief. However, if you have time, I would get this book out of your local library:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Fertility-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0060881909

TCOYF goes into detail about what happens to your body during a regular cycle when everything is working perfectly. I found it really helpful when we first started trying. It also explains what your GYN meant by temp/OPK kits.

I take this one from amazon. I don't remember why now, I think from my research it had good reviews and was one of the less expensive ones. No side effects. I take 600mg (3 pills broken up into 2 in the morning and 1 at night), hubs takes 200mg. I agree with u/sciencejoy that you might not need it, but it's pretty universally recommended and it can't hurt (except the bank account because it's not cheap).

Hi, /r/giantredwoodforest recommended I read this book about RPL: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Broken-Approachable-Miscarriage-Recurrent-ebook/dp/B06XTZW86Y
I just finished reading it and it gives you the pros and cons of using IVF as a treatment for RPL. I did skip over the eastern medicine chapters, but maybe I will read them again at another time. I will be using the book to help me decide if IVF is right for me or not. I am in a similar boat as you. I've had 3 early losses. I know this doesn't answer your question, but I thought I should mention the book. It will probably help you ask better questions during your IVF consult.

I got this: goldwheat Portable Insulin Cooler Bag Diabetic Organizer Medical Travel Cooler Pack + 2 Ice Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01E3MS782/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KKi1Cb33564HE

I loved it. Kept shots cool, and also had plenty of room for alcohol wipes, hand sanitizer, bandaids, etc. And I just put my used needles with caps on back inside until I could get home to dispose of them properly.

Not sure what “in the field” means in your case, but I would usually inject in the bathroom wherever I was, for privacy. But in a pinch, all you’re really exposing is a bit of your belly, if you could find just a small tucked away space.

ETA: I had to do my shots both in the morning and the evening. It's possible you could set up a schedule for before and after work, but sounds like that might be tough with erratic hours. For most shots (the big exception being your trigger shot) a 2-hour window is generally fine (at least with my RE), so you do have some flexibility.

Ah, makes perfect sense. Thank you for taking the time to explain the benefits to me. Is "baby asprin" the same as "low dose asprin?" I looked up "baby asprin" on Amazon and the search yielded this

I recently bought a DIY dollhouse kit on Amazon to pass the time in my hermit state, and it is bringing me much joy! There are so many tiny pieces that it will definitely take a while to complete. I bought the greenhouse one.

Try icing, zinc and maca root! It's worth a shot. Good luck, IcyHot.

It's good that you're on this subreddit before starting the process--I wish I had been much earlier. If you're just starting, I would skim through "It Starts with the Egg"...I wish I had done some of these things before my retrieval just to do everything I could. Who knows if it would have helped, but I would have felt like I did everything to get the highest number of high quality embryos.

https://www.amazon.com/Starts-Egg-Pregnant-Naturally-Miscarriage/dp/0991126904

There are tons of options: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=insulated+medication+travel+bag+tsa+approved&crid=1UGZFKEHQTPF2&sprefix=insulated+medication+%2Caps%2C1133&ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_21

I personally used this one: https://www.amazon.com/Icy-Cools-Neoprene-Insulated-Medicine/dp/B0089SFJLU/ref=sr_1_19?crid=1UGZFKEHQTPF2&keywords=insulated+medication+travel+bag+tsa+approved&qid=1571587093&sprefix=insulated+medication+%2Caps%2C1133&sr=8-19

It worked fine. I froze the insert until we left for the airport and was visiting family so I could refreeze it for the trip home. I had zero issues with TSA despite me alarmingly and repeatedly telling them directly I had medications and syringes the first time. They just waved it off and didn't even look or ask. I was flying TSA Precheck as well so they don't require you to take any liquids out anyway. I kept the original prescription labels with my name on them just in case there was any questions.

The book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is good for learning more about your cycle. It'll probably be a good place for you to start. http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416878093&sr=8-1&keywords=taking+charge+of+your+fertility

I do a spreadsheet with one row per day, and one column per daily timeslot (ie: wake up, breakfast, lunch, mid-afternoon, etc) for meds and supplements. Then I have an adorable rainbow travel pill organizer (https://www.amazon.com/XINHOME-Organizer-Medication-Reminder-Compartments/dp/B06Y55LDZJ). I get out my spreadsheet and fill the pill organizers all together once a week. I also add in little dice for non-pill events like shots or patches. The individual day organizers travel in my purse or wherever I'm going.

ETA: photo of my pill setup, including dice: https://ibb.co/N2147k7

Hello, sorry to hear of your disappointment regarding this. One book I read that really helped me was an amazing book called 'It starts with the egg': https://www.amazon.com/Starts-Egg-Pregnant-Naturally-Miscarriage/dp/0991126904 the author lists a lot of evidence based ways to improve egg quality and quantity - in case you are thinking of doing another cycle. One thing you might think about is DHEA supplementation, this is associated with increased egg counts... here is some information about it: https://www.centerforhumanreprod.com/video-gallery/video/overcoming-poor-response-to-ivf-stimulation/

I get these on Amazon. They sometimes go even lower in prices. They are sold cheaper on Amazon than Walmart.

Not sure how much they've improved my sperm, I'll find out next week!

https://www.amazon.ca/Webber-Naturals-Coenzyme-Antioxidant-Softgels/dp/B00FGP3JAW/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1539882222&sr=1-1&refinements=p_n_feature_seven_browse-bin%3A6448997011

Yes! I got this one: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089SFJLU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

I'm sorry about your RPL. I'm glad you're considering talking to an RE about it. I saw there's a new book that came out about RPL thought I have not read it: https://www.amazon.com/Not-Broken-Approachable-Miscarriage-Recurrent-ebook/dp/B06XTZW86Y

I don't know if endometriosis is associated with RPL -- it might be. Endo is nasty stuff, and they're finding that its impact is broader than previously known.

What sort of endometrial biopsy did you have before? What was abnormal about it?

Many of us have read It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF. I enacted some changes, but my egg quality still sucked.

What did improve my embryo hunger games between 2 IVF cycles was a change in protocol from agonist long lupron to antagonist. What worked for me post explains more.

I remember /u/eyeyecaptainfly sending me this article which helped her.