(Part 2) Best products from r/intj

>I have the impression that most people that claim to be NiTe or TeNi dominant are either mistyped, liars or of low intelligence.

INFJs and ENFJs and the other-directed types (e.g. Social Justice Warriors) are focused on making you not be such a meanie to other people! Play nicely and the world will be better, surely right?!. Other-directed types (the liberal left) are having a cultural war with the tradition-directed (the conservative right) right now, so you will see this intensify as both groups struggle to get their views ahead of one another.

As far as most people see it, they don't want the world to be sharply divided here in the public space in terms of intelligence, because they are feelers or they care about others' feelings, and so they (rightly) want to make everyone happy and content and to feel welcome. Surprise surprise, this reflects pro-immigration views versus anti-immigration views, where the liberal left wants to accept everyone without criticism and the conservative right feels their livelihoods or cultures are under attack (1/3 of the British public think there are Muslim no-go zones).

INTJs as much as any other type, come in grades of raw intelligence. That's fine, and everyone has a place in society and they are required and they are sacred, they have a purpose to fulfill and we need them.

>I am actively seeking more high intelligence NiTe or TeNi users. Mostly I get the best conversations from NeTi or TiNe dominant types.

The ultimate clear thinking is about how all of society and politics works, and what reality is. The ultimate answer to that is the most consistent Theory of Everything, which can explain all major philosophical talking points and how they are right/wrong - namely, this.

>Why are so many NTJs getting caught up in subjective feelings while I as a very strong NiTe user consider my objectivity one of not THE most important trait on my characte

It's going to be a combination of the degree of independence from others & autonomy, and how happy and balanced you are, how mature and well-rounded you are, how well-adjusted you are, and your raw intelligence. People who seek the esteem of others will consistently "tone police" you. People who are selfish and lack empathy will have a freemarket fundamentalism outlook.

The nasty way of saying it is to spend your time highlighting how arguing with people who don't have a perfect conception of reality in their minds are going to assume you're talking about something else, and then attack you for how you made them feel inadequate.

The most rational humans are receptive to being led forward in a positive direction, we still don't like being talked down to like we're nothing. That's the big thing the INFJs want to hit you on the head with for being such an insensitive meanie. "You should know not to hurt them, stupid!" - but of course, the darling INFJs just don't get how incredibly insane our world is and why we have to go over peoples' heads and be dominant and hostile even. Nobody understands, and everyone hates how it appears that we behave.

Now it's time to quote something from another comment:

>What's needed is a new system of government that doesn't have these problems of incompetence and laziness and general reckless stupidity in the first place. We need a government of the smartest, most talented, most capable and most brilliant people from all over the nation. That's what Labour represents in a small way. Labour though doesn't have the right values, it's still too liberal to actually have a strong official government opinion on every major issue of life and society and economics and so on. It's not being ran by the right people, and it's not a meritocratic structure, it's a liberal structure under the pressure of public opinion (to get that sweet sweet multicultural vote). The price of this is various fundamental issues like you still can't criticize ideas (religion) under Labour's future vision for government. You still can't get anything changed fundamentally in society, other than a few minor tweaks to predatory capitalism. Labour should have policies like taxing gambling and loan shark companies 95% of their profits.. but would they do this? Do they listen to reason? Largely, no. They can't be decisive enough because the Labour liberal model is all about appearing to be directed by the people at large (who are mostly wanting to be led by a government that knows what it's doing and will protect their way of life for them).
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>The politics of fear of the Other/Outsider (Conservatives) is simply far more effective than the politics of compassion and blind friendliness (Labour). People somehow avoided electing a Labour government to give them fair rights at work, a more balanced economy than rich vs. poor, and a large portion of Conservative voters are 65+ which simply means that old people shouldn't be allowed to vote and mess up the country based on their rose tinted glasses and their nostalgia for the past. But people are too nice to make these kinds of judgements. They're not serious enough or radical enough to make changes to the way society at large is run.
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>This is where leaders and leadership comes in, because we are now entering a phase of humanity where people want leaders and leaders have to be firm and resolute and incredibly well informed, and incredibly confident and assertive.
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>We can basically divide humanity into two groups: those who want to lead, and those who want to be lead. That sums up the vast majority of human history's most dangerous and key moments; the most successful moments and the moments of triumph and success. People who want to lead but be evil (the most profiteering business owners paying employees the least) have historically succeeded but we are waiting for the people who want to be leaders but be good and selfless with it. This is the most difficult type of social product to produce, it's the ultimate product any nation can create: good, heroic leaders. Corbyn serves as an example to us all. He's worked incredibly hard his entire life, first learning and following in the footsteps of other heroic towers of strength like Tony Benn.

I have always focused my learning on hard skills. I thought this was really all that mattered. Good ideas can speak for themselves, right???

Only recently I realized how important soft skills are in life. Like you, I am also researching communication skills, confidence, persuasion/influence, body language, etc.

Here are some materials I have come across. Hope they are helpful in your journey.

This book was very insightful on building rapport: http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-All-About-Techniques-ebook/dp/B0060YIBLK

It was written by a guy in the FBI who's job it was to build relationships with all kinds of people. He outlines 10 steps you can use to build trust with strangers. Topics include using open body language, commenting on surroundings and/or personal accessories, asking open questions about them, etc. Many things covered might seem like "common sense", but if you are not consciously using them is it really "common sense"?

And another book that was helpful about body language: http://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language-ebook/dp/B000SEH9QG/

This was fascinating and discussed all types of body language, what they mean, and theories on why we do it. There is a section on mating/courting body language, which was also quite eye opening. Again, you will not realize the potential until you bring this stuff into your conscious mind. Many of the things we do while communicating we do subconsciously. It is extremely interesting and sometimes quite funny seeing how people communicate with their body.

One other interesting point on this subject is that your mental state affects your body language, which then affects your mental state, etc. If you have unconfident body language, you will have unconfident thoughts. Watch the Amy Cuddy video on "Fake it until you make it". Have confident body language all the time. If you start slouching, lift up your chest and hold your head up high... even if you are hanging around! You will feel more confident as you turn this into a habit. Practice this stuff every day. You WILL get better. Small wins build confidence and you will create a positive feedback loop.

Regarding "how was your summer", maybe try complementing them instead. People love to feel good about themselves. Are they wearing a unique accessory (watch, necklace, hat) or clothing? Say, "Wow that is a really interesting hat!" See what they say. If they don't open up try a follow-up question. I tried this comment and they opened up about where they were from, how they moved here, etc. The hat was really a way for them to communicate their identity. Another approach is the sympathy card... "Hi, sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you could help me out". Talk about a situation you are in and ask for their feedback. Then branch out the convo based on their responses. Make sure your body language is open, yet confident - do not come on strong or closed.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work should help your Ni compare actual behaviors in your relationships with a model of a successful marriage. The researcher-authors claim that they can predict divorce with 91% accuracy.

8 Keys to Self-leadership is written by an INTJ and gives you a healthy model of an INTJ against which to compare. You self-rate in use of the various cognitive functions, and have the opportunity to complete exercises that help enhance your use of the same. The author suggests cognitive functions for INTJs to develop. IMO it is crucial to work toward best-use of your first two cognitive functions at least in order to be able to solve relationship problems in a healthy way. Many of us use Ni and Te for example, but are far from an understanding of what Te actually means, so we might end up swinging over to a paranoid Ni+Fi assessment of the relationship if we are in an argument with a Fe user.

I have also found the book Just Your Type immensely helpful as it gives best-fit tips for relationships between each type. I took a photo of the tips for communicating with my SO and pinned them to my phone's home screen.

Regarding INTJ weaknesses, the biggest weakness IMO would be trying to BLT (Be Like Them--someone else, per Linda Berens) and not develop your own INTJ skills before emulating others. INTJs can be very successful in relationships. Prior to knowing I was an INTJ, I pushed myself to solve problems in ways that were not common to INTJs, and as a result felt a lot of frustration when those methods didn't work. Currently I use original frameworks (Ti) and measurement techniques like spreadsheeting (Te) to help maintain my relationships, and it works really well. It's comfortable and uses my natural gifts. As an example, I broke down my SO's interests into various categories and sort of rotate through them in our online chats, making sure to engage her inferior function when she's stressed out, etc. Not to be manipulative, just to help her get more of what she wants out of life.

You may also benefit from reading up on Socionics. It helps me to have a model for the "type" of relationship in which I'm involved in any given context. There isn't a lot on relationship development or type development available from the Socionics end, so it can seem kinda depressing in a way, but that information can be found through other sources like the books above.

Relationships always came naturally to me. However, blunders came even more naturally. Hopefully I'm doing less of the latter nowadays. :-) Hope this helps!

I have to coordinate people in the OR every day. One of the things I learned early in my intern year was from an older surgeon: "Never get upset in the OR". It changes your group from people actively helping you to a group that is just trying not to screw up. It's a subtle but real thing and can really reduce your effectiveness in helping patients.

I also read Make It So: Leadership Lessons from Star Trek: The Next Generation which really helped. Basically the idea is to do what Picard does: surround yourself with the best people you can find, take their advice as serious counsel, and then enable them to do the jobs at their best with resources and support they need to succeed.(https://www.amazon.com/dp/0671520989/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_lFs5ybXYRD51M)

I self-published, since I just can't deal with the social dynamics of traditional publishing. I think next time, after I can afford to, I'll use IngramSpark rather than Amazon, as it has better distribution.

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My fiction books are,

Fullness of Time:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07N91615Z/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_hSNzDbAMPVSWT


& Story Fragments:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NKDCCBQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_QTNzDbJ888710



The third is somewhat of a political rant, by which I just expressed my views at the moment and was hoping to get free marketing by trolls essentially, it's Created Equal:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NKYY37P/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_SVNzDbGDTM535




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Yeah, I know they suck for now. :(




Hopefully I'll be able to finish the novella's series, and turn some of my short stories into books also. Soon though, I have to get back to wage slavery again, so as to have money to invest in them. Everything I've done so far, I've done without help, so unfortunately it looks shoddy. After I can afford editing and cover art, they should be far better.


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One really cool ENFP friend with good taste offered to go through and make comments, to help me better self-edit basically, though she has chronic fatigue syndrome and it might take her a fair while. Between now and then, I hopefully will have saved up enough money to invest and improve my work otherwise.

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I'll get the cover art, self-edit according to my friend's suggestions, then pay an editor to go over it, and publish it as a second edition before moving on to the next book, Station of Darkness, of which I made a visual outline with imagery from Pinterest: https://youtu.be/PwAi0ElUIUM


And I made Pinterest boards for it also,

Characters: https://pin.it/7tkddhpx73ap4m

Settings: https://pin.it/rknnwfo5diisf5

Props: https://pin.it/y5n4wbuim7hsr3




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It's the best I could do, but of course it's like how things always go. At the beginning of a fad, people are more accepting of low quality crap like my books are presently, but as time goes on the standards keep being raised. Like most early science fiction would be rejected by publishers nowadays, party due to tropes and clichés people got bored with quickly, though also because they wrote at 12th grade level rather than 5th grade. I'm nowhere near as good as Lovecraft or Campbell of course, but such is the arbitrary nitpicking I decided to avoid by independent publication.

Yes - probably because many of us are 'maximizers' and 'scanners' that are simultaneously interested by many things (at least on a surface level) and terrified of committing to one thing that then shuts down other avenues that might be better.

This is probably why I'm going into consulting following my PhD :) I often envy people who seem to know exactly what they love doing, the type of people who say "I can't see myself doing anything else". But at the same time, the thought of doing only one thing for my whole life is depressing as well.

I sometimes feel like I would make really good use of immortality :)

I have solution for you, if you want to learn how to provide women more value, and hence be more attracted to you. Read the logical and practical book: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty.

Wish you success with the women.

Have you read Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto yet? You must.

Don't worry about whether you "appear" boring to others. They have no idea of all the thoughts and ideas that flood our minds. You just need to find people like yourself, people who don't need others for energy or to feel alive like extroverts do.

You're in college so you might think that if you're not hanging out at the frat parties or you're not hanging out in the popular people's dorm rooms shootin' the shit with everyone else, that you're being anti-social. Been there, done that. Find the club—or start one (get an extrovert to help you spread the word)—that organizes relatively small groups to play board games (the people who gravitate to board game nights are usually our type of people). There are other introverts at college who do want to spend some time around others—but not a lot (need that recharge time)—to have deep discussions, talk about current events in meaningful ways, or maybe get a pizza and watch a favorite movie.

We're loners, but that doesn't mean we're alone (big distinction!). You will find your soul mate who gets you, who understands what it's like to be you, and he or she will likely not be an extrovert.

Y'ALL AIN'T NEVA SEEN BOWLS LIKE DEEZ HEEYA

5 QT BAM
8 QT SHIZAM
13 QT PAPOWPOW

I bought these babies back in September of 2012. Alien brainwave protection 100% guaranteed or your money back.

• How to win friends and influence people
  
  
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
  
  
• The 48 laws of power
  
  When you're done reading these, join disposable social circles (sign up for things like yoga, pilates, dance classes, etc) and practice the skills you've learned. Apply the INTJ skill-building process (practice, analysis, refinement, rinse and repeat), and in around 1 year you will be a social ace.

The Definitive Guide To Body Language

I've been reading here and there for years but this is the only book I have. I think it's far from definitive, but it has a lot of good stuff in it. You will probably find that you already know more than you think you do and you will become more perceptive just by becoming aware.

I've also heard good things about What Every BODY Is Saying. I haven't read it yet but it's on my list.


Also, because this is an MBTI subreddit I will include this. Facial Expressions Of The 8 Functions. I noticed a while ago that each type looked a certain way but was never able to fully break it down until I found this website. I find Ne users to be the most obvious.

Ok, but like $10? $25? Would help for making suggestions.

here are a few useful things:

• Multitool you can carry on a keychain for $10
  
• Cooking for Geeks book
  
• REI giftcard...climbers always need more gear
  
• Rolls of athletic tape if his hands get torn up climbing
  
• Amazingly absorbent towel for gym/camping use
  
  

I highly recommend the book "Difficult Conversations". Great read for everybody, awesome read for INTJs who have difficulty dealing with emotional stuff and other people.

I actually love it. I kinda geek out over it. check out things like:
http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Geeks-Science-Great-Hacks/dp/0596805888/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414009628&sr=8-1&keywords=cooking+for+geeks

for instance, did you know the boiling point of table salt is about 230 degrees F? if you're cooking something about to go into the oven above that temp, you'll never taste the salt. save it and salt after at the table, or switch to sea salt, which boils hotter.

Check out this book: Improve Your Social Skills by Daniel Wendler

An excerpt from a review: "This book by Daniel Wendler could just as well be entitled: The Thinking Person’s Guide to Improving Your Social Skills. I say that because of the methodical, thoughtful and flowing way the author guides us through the complex maze of social interactions in which we find ourselves."

I like simple, clean designs that work well with about any wardrobe.
Like this:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002IDTUHG/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Not sure where you are located, but if in an area that gets snow, these floormats are awesome:
https://www.amazon.com/3D-MAXpider-B07D9GMYG8-Complete-All-Weather/dp/B07D9GMYG8

They have ones for the trunk and frunk as well.

The stock ones are subpar.

There is a great book I read about 8 years ago that really speaks to those of us who are comfortable with being alone. It is called Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto by Annell Rufus. Here is the amazon link. You can read the intro there. It was the inspiration for my handle.

It is quite uplifting, and is excellent at describing how the introvert is not at fault but can have a fulfilling life with this trait. It is also quite informative for extroverts trying to understand introverts.

I gained some good insight by reading this book

Sometimes, it's all the little things you don't think about that can hold you back.

Thank you. You might appreciate https://www.amazon.com/SJWs-Always-Lie-Taking-Thought-ebook/dp/B014GMBUR4

Just Your Type has recommendations for every combination of MBTI types. They make charts and everything.

I was curious about what they recommended for INTJ-INTJ relationships, and guess what? They said you're likely to not get around to telling each other about your feelings enough, so consider writing each other letters.

You mentioned the recipient is male. I took a quick glance at your post history, and I see you're female. So, you're likely to have some dynamics that go along with her approaching him- that makes some men more uncomfortable than others. Maybe it will be no big deal to him, we don't know.

You know, as I read and re-read what you wrote, I'm actually thinking you should do something more like a date. Something along the lines of, "Hey Tony, I'm going to the outdoor art fair next Saturday. Want to come with me?" I think it's appropriate to spend time alone together outside of work first, before talking about feelings.

No worries! I came across it after reading his book Models

Best of luck in your research!

I break it down to three types of test, and adapt different strategies to approach them.

1. Multiple choices (mostly social science subjects, psychology, economics, etc). It usually involves a lot of reading and memorization. I read the chapters, take notes, then try to explain the concepts to myself as if I am teaching it to someone else. For memorization, nothing you can really do. There are strategies to help you memorize things easier, like acronyms. Picturing yourself going through the process to link the concepts together.
   
2. Short answers (Natural science subjects: Maths, Stats, etc). My personal favorite topic. There is always a right answer. OMG! What a concept. I usually go through the practice questions. For the ones I did incorrectly, I will figure out which exact step I did wrong. I will note why I did it incorrectly and review them over and over, and redo the questions. Basically a iterative process until I can solve all of the problems correctly.
   
3. Essays (I was Business Major, I did not take English Literature, creative writing. Personally I hate wishy washy subjects. Like what value are you really adding to the society, so I can't speak to that) For business admin, my exams are all four hour case studies. You really can't study for it. I basically develop a framework on all the potential analysis I need to conduct and derive a conclusion, and subsequent recommendation and contingency.
   
   General study tips: Planning. I can't get enough of it. I start the reviews two weeks before the exam, allocate the study time into small chunks through out the day, before the exam, I just review the notes and the questions I did wrong during practice and call it a day. One last thing, I don't know if other INTJs can relate to. I always ask myself when studying. What question would the professor ask if I am the professor, and I would ask myself a hypothetical questions, and try to solve it. Sometimes I would contemplate so much on a particular problem and waste a lot of time.
   
   I read a book called How to become a straight A student, and it helped me a lot during undergrad and masters.
   
   Link: https://www.amazon.ca/How-Become-Straight-Student-Unconventional/dp/0767922719

I also liked this book:
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

I used this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language/dp/0553804723/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420778637&sr=8-1&keywords=body+langauge

It isn't necessarily the best book and there may be better ones. The big thing is that once you read through a body language book, you learn what types of things to look for. After that, you practice speaking the language and reading people just as you would practice speaking English and reading novels, newspapers, etc. Everyone is saying something.

Also, for more dating type stuff, read The Body Language Project. The website is really sketchy. Just download it online somewhere or pirate it.

It's trash and it promotes social interaction solely as sexual conquest, coupled with a borderline red pill mentality that's also trash. Erik Von Markovik is also walking cringe. It's hard to find anything relatively positive about PUA.

Some people will put Models in the PUA bucket, but it's also an interesting read if you want to detect more bullshit.