Best products from r/latebloomerlesbians

You're definitely not the only one. I was a strict conservative Christian for ten years until age 26, when I started to question and deconstruct my old beliefs. I also started to embrace my identity as a sapphic woman to a greater degree around that time. I had known for a few years that I was bisexual but believed I was required to be celibate and could only have platonic partnerships with women.

I also dated a woman and explored sex for the first time at age 26 which was an amazing experience for me. It helped that the woman I explored with had been friends for me for nearly a year by that time so we were close and I felt 100% safe and accepted with her. Getting comfortable with masturbation, self-pleasure and sex toys was a great place to start before I ever tried having actual sex with a real person. You can order them online if you feel awkward going into a sex shop. I'd recommend exploring your body and getting comfortable with pleasuring yourself.

If you're really nervous about dating or having sex, perhaps you could start by making some LGBT friends on the apps? Or maybe joining a local LGBT meet up group? I started off by finding a few platonic cuddle buddies through r/cuddlebuddies and other websites before I got comfortable with actual dating.

Here are some resources that might help as well:

For sexual health and sex education: Scarleteen

This article in particular is great: Figuring Out How to be a Lesbian Safer Expert

General tips for dating women: How To Be A Girl Who Dates Girls: Your Syllabus For Lesbian Dating 101

Finding other sapphic women: 10 Queer Women Reveal Where They Go To Meet Women, & It’s Really Great Advice

For flirting tips: A How-To Guide on Flirting

You might find the following books relevant to your situation:

Conscious Lesbian Dating

Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion

​

Kudos for surfing the reddit threads.

Open-relationships are WORK. Honesty and communication are #1 on that list. It can 100% work where only one partner is open, and that's totally fine.

Lately, the r/polyamory boards are *mostly cis-hetero couples wanting to open their relationships so their wives can sexually explore or so they can have threesomes....so as of late, I wouldn't suggest that /r being your best option.

What I can suggest (to start with) is this:

• Do a local google search for "*YOUR CITY* polyamory support groups"
  
• Invest in some books and self-help guides, and use your internet resources
  
  • https://www.amazon.com/Opening-Up-Creating-Sustaining-Relationships-ebook/dp/B07H46BBC7/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=opening+up&qid=1571834918&sr=8-1
    
  • https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Two-Practical-Polyamory-ebook/dp/B01DQ20WZQ/ref=rtpb_1/131-7088719-2711522?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01DQ20WZQ&pd_rd_r=70725391-400a-4ff5-a78d-8345224ccfa1&pd_rd_w=OElyg&pd_rd_wg=m6olF&pf_rd_p=7775a5bd-b826-4387-ab97-911f28a0f0db&pf_rd_r=NNJTPNWV2E5SY8ZR74B7&psc=1&refRID=NNJTPNWV2E5SY8ZR74B7
    
  • http://polyweekly.com/ << they have an amazing podcast and blog
    
  • https://www.morethantwo.com/
    
  • Also, try to become part of a facebook group for poly relationships or poly support - I find that space to be a little better in terms of support.
    
• Take it slow, continue in therapy, and define the needs, wants, and expectations from each other
  
• Good luck!

You are changing - an old you is dying, and a new one is emerging. Noticing that despite your efforts, this new identity persists is a positive step. Is your therapist LGBTQ-friendly?

I'd recommend reading: "Dear John, I Love Jane": https://www.amazon.com/Dear-John-Love-Jane-Leaving/dp/1580053394

"Sexual Fluidity": https://www.amazon.com/Sexual-Fluidity-Understanding-Womens-Desire/dp/0674032268

"Whatever...Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves": https://www.amazon.com/Whatever-Love-Questioning-Labels-Ourselves/dp/0062351842/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=1MC963EA42M449F32YWW

​

Most of these authors have YouTube/Vimeo videos out there, too, if you're not into reading.

​

Good luck!