Best products from r/leaves

It is a better solution than the bottle, you're right...
For me, the critical factor was that I realized I often saw myself Not At My Best while high. I've been smoking every day for the last 3 years. Today is my first day sober. I decided to put a stop to hazing out my mind because I saw a lot of areas where I would like to feel less hazy. For instance, in conversations, I often just anxiously and self-consciously stress about what to say, or about the last thing I said, thinking it wasn't good enough. It's like I can see myself SAYING all the right things, but the FEELING isn't there. I'm not very good at getting my heart across to people while blazed. I really want to be my best for my relationships.

Green also helped me to leave a lot of unsuccessful relationships. It allowed me to feel happy just being alone, so I didn't feel like my loneliness was driving me to hold onto relationships that weren't completely fulfilling. But now I KNOW what to look for in good relationships, and I want to be at my best so I can provide for others in the same way I hope they will provide for me. I want to make new friends who are in touch with their feelings and their inner power - the knowledge that we all have special gifts we can bring to the world to make it a better place for everyone. Green made me satisfied with the boring life I was leading - with my silly routines of Facebook, Reddit, smoking, repeat.

I did find it easier to read while high, to shut out distractions. But now that I know what it's like to focus intently, I think I can do it without green. I look at my time with trees as a valuable learning experience - I learned what's important to me, and what I need to do and think in order to be minimally happy. But it doesn't make me maximally happy, and that's not good enough. I couldn't just pick up and go camping, or go wander around the beach or gardens for hours. I would be worried about how to get high and who might be watching. It's just not the same, to constantly be looking at myself from the outside and wondering if I'm doing good enough but silently knowing I'm not doing my best. Being content is not the same as fulfilling my true potential. Being satisfied is not the same as engaging in thrilling relationships. I want MORE!

The trick really is convincing yourself that it's the right thing to do. The problem now is that you "don't know" if it's right. You suspect things could be better, but you're not sure.

As far as I know, it gets both better and worse. I heard someone on here say that you need to accept that some activities will simply not be as fantastic as they seemed while high. But the benefit comes in viewing one's life as a whole - saying, Even though I can't absorb myself completely in this movie in the way I used to, now I can use my mental faculties better to feel like my life as a whole is moving in a coherent direction that I control.

The feeling of being a slave to one's desires is really shitty. You can free yourself if that is your one goal! You need to give up the goal of feeling Okay All The Time, and allow yourself to process the idea of living intensely. On one hand you could be high and content, or on the other you could be sober and fully recognize the depth of your anger, sadness, joy, boredom, curiosity, love, anxiety, doubt, frustration... All of these feelings are divine. They are all useful and lead you to a better awareness of yourself and how to contribute to the wellbeing of the world as a whole.

The first step is self-compassion. I started reading [this book] (http://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Beating-Yourself-Insecurity-Behind/dp/0061733512) yesterday and it really made me feel awesome and totally capable of taking on this task. The jist of it is: Recognize the legitimacy of your feelings. Don't condemn them and try to bury and ignore your emotions with green. When you feel you are suffering, acknowledge your right to feel that way and try to nurture yourself as you would a good friend. I used to turn to green when I would think, "I shouldn't be feeling this way, I should be productive. I should be nice to everyone." But that's just not reasonable. I used green because it felt like BOTH relaxing AND being productive at the same time. I think the trick for sober living is separating out those desires. Allow yourself to rest sometimes, regenerating yourself - If you feel like you need to be completely relaxed in order to be regenerating, you've missed the point. It's okay to acknowledge how stressed you feel - "I've been trying my hardest but I can't be perfect all the time. I'm being a bit too hard on myself. Maybe I could write about my feelings." Only feel like you "should be doing work" when you feel self-confident and self-compassionate. If you feel negatively toward yourself, your gifts, and your purpose, you will sabotage your productivity and convince yourself you need green in order to proceed.

A great quote from T.S. Eliot:

What is this self inside us, this silent observer, /
Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorize us /
And urge us on to futile activity /
And in the end, judge us still more severely /
For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?

The point is - You're being really mean to yourself when you tell yourself "I can't get anything done unless I'm high." Your remorse and self-loathing perpetuates the cycle. Try to be kinder to yourself, acknowledging your strengths as well as your human shortcomings, like the need to get plenty of rest.

It's okay to not get to every item on your To-Do list every day. Handling everything "straight" means shifting from one task to another as you are most comfortable. When you feel stressed and incapable of proceeding, don't sit down to a bowl. Post on this sub-reddit or engage in some creative activity. Try to get in touch with your unique passions. Hold out hope for a day when you can wake up and walk out the door and live your life however you want, without feeling like "I need to smoke in order to accomplish X".

Listen to [this song] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5E2wVNss98). Make your own mix of calming, self-assuring music that you do not associate with using.

Take it one day at a time!!! It gets overwhelming to think too far into the future, about whether you're 'ultimately making the right decision.' Fear comes from wondering whether you're heading in the right direction. Yet you say yourself you've been heading in this direction for the last year. Acknowledge that At Least Trying Out Living Sober Is Your Goal Right Now. It's YOUR GOAL! Not anyone else's! So you need to be honest with yourself about what it would really take to reach your goal. The answer is, take it one step at a time.

I think like this:
1 Day: I'm doing better at acknowledging my deepest feelings and true needs than I have in 3 years; I will be patient and loving toward myself. |
10 Days: I will start to feel normal again. |
14 Days: I will experience a burst of energy; I can start hardcore engaging with the world again. |
30 Days: Shit is pretty much out of my system. |
90 Days: I start feeling really happy about my decision and life in general; I can do everything I need to do by giving myself adequate planning and resting time.

You've already experimented with how you will look at the world differently with trees. Now convince yourself that now is the right time to experiment with how you will look at the world post-trees. You will not revert to the person you were before you started smoking. You have learned a lot about yourself and the nature of human relationships in the last few years. Now is the time to apply yourself completely to your goals. Life is not supposed to be happy all the time; it's supposed to be a crazy twisty-turny process of finding out who you are. You've discovered a lot about yourself recently, but you are bored because there is nothing new to learn. The only direction for further personal development is seeing what you are like without any mind-altering substances.

Give yourself a right to feel the way you do. You are in pain, unsure about your purpose in life and your capabilities. You are medicating a tender heart by trying to shut it off from the world. Your heart is not engaged with your work when you are only doing it to get by. After you decide to see what you are really like, you will experience the strength to carry out your purpose. If you do find yourself still smoking, try not to beat yourself up. Instead, calmly assess your feelings. "Why am I doing this right now?" As you begin to problem-solve your reasons for using, it will be easier to imagine a future without use. You just have to picture yourself as sober and happy; believe that it can happen - affirm to yourself that's what you want - and you will be able to do it.

Good luck! We're always here for you!

Hey man! Honestly I don't think I've managed it yet - I know that I'm susceptible to relapse - 13 days is the most I've had in 3 years, but its still super early on the journey. Still getting cravings. Not quite to do weed, but def to get some release somehow.

That said, my current approach for gaining some freedom over it is actually focusing on the Why. I feel like I've tried every 'How' out there, and nothing consistently works. But here's the breakdown of what I've done this time around for something tangible:

1. Running - I'm running every morning. I had one day where I ran outside twice. I downloaded mapmyrun which is an app that tracks distance/speed, so I'm having fun tracking my progress there. I try to imagine an empty tank of dopamine that I'm "filling up" the harder/longer I run.
   
   
2. Meetings - hitting Marijuana Anonymous meetings about 3 times a week. Good way to fill the time after work and see people who are doing it sober, even if you don't agree with every principle of 12-step.
   
   
3. Sleep - the first few days, as a defense mechanism against my cravings, I just tried to go to sleep even if super early, so that the next day would come. Take a benadryl or something to knock out (NOT to be abused though). I'm so used to trying to stay up and delaying the next day coming that I really had to push myself to just let the next day come and stick with it.
   
   
4. Reddit Leaves - I discovered this forum a week or two before I started my latest streak. When I have a craving, I post here. The support has been great.
   
   
5. This book which was recommended by someone else on reddit. It's the one I mentioned above
   
   
6. Cut out most sugar - I know that the insulin spike can give you that feeling of craving and I just wanted to try to eliminate that
   
   
7. Cautious/No drinking - drinking puts me back into this place
   
   
8. Catching myself 5 steps before the act - e.g. I found myself pulling out my phone to say "whats up" to my friends that smoke. For now, I'm keeping them at arms length. I'll let them reach out to me if need be. I don't owe anyone any favors - just a favor to myself to get sober
   
   Days 1-3 were awful. Day 4 was better and 5 better. I get cravings over the weekends (~day 6). Last week overall was better. One night I had two drinks and had a stressful work day and nearly crumbled - posted on here which helped, went home, and forced myself to pass out.
   
   Other tips that have helped in the past
   
   
9. Journaling in morning - sounds like a diary but you'd be surprised at how many patterns emerge when you write down your thoughts. You may write down the 3 things you're worried about, only to find that they're all related to X, e.g. worrying about people's perceptions of yourself, worrying about whether or not to see your friends, worrying about whether or not you'll be able to stay sober over the weekend, who knows.
   
   
10. Go easy on coffee/sweets
    
    
11. Meditation (headspace app is great for this)
    
    Good luck!

Hey there! I'm new here, on day 2 of total sobriety after a week of cutting wayyy back. I am older than you and in a different place (mid-30s, married, homeowner) but what you said about feeling like smoking is holding you back from something - even if you're not sure what that is, even though there aren't hugely negative impacts for you - is a big part of why I decided to quit, too. Mainly, though, weed was great for helping me gain some perspective and turn down the noise in my head and heart, but I want to learn to do that myself, without chemical aid, so here I am.

You mentioned being interested in resources, so I'm copying some stuff from another comment I made, in case any of these things might appeal to you:

• Meditation - I started using the Headspace app in the mornings, and then meditating independently throughout the day as needed, and it definitely helps to get some perspective on (and distance from) the cravings, the boredom, the self-judgment and other weirdness in my head, etc.
  
  
• The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook is really helping me develop skills (in addition to meditating) to deal with life sober, instead of having a smoke or a drink to chill.
  
  
• The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself is great for the philosophy/spiritual side of it. Separating myself from my thoughts and emotions - learning that I am not my anger, my depression, my anxiety, that I am not my obsessive thoughts - is something I need a lot of help with, and this is really hitting the spot.
  
  As far as your roommates and social circle go, I wish I had some ideas or helpful perspective for you, but I don't think I do. Honestly, wanting to separate myself from old "friends" who I've recently realized are not positive influences and are actually never there for me unless I go get fucked up with them and manage to fit a word or two in... That's another reason I'm quitting, I just don't want people like that in my life anymore. It doesn't sound like your friends are that kind of negative influence, so that's good. But I don't have any experience trying to be sober in a house full of people who are still smoking, and I imagine that is really, really hard. My husband has never been a smoker - just not his thing, made him feel paranoid and weird - so now that I've quit, no one here smokes, so there's no smell or giggling to remind me of what I'm giving up. Hopefully someone else here can give you some help with that one.
  
  Best wishes, I'm cheering for you. ❤️

white elephants

you can't 'stop' thinking about something that you're thinking about :/ brain doesn't work that way

instead you have to identify what you're actually thinking about, challenge the validity of the thought, recognise any patterns or cycles that the thought follows, any subtle or less immediate / conscious levels to the thought, then compare these with your values. values and morals are things that we have to work at.

once you can recognise such thoughts, you (and so your brain) will become bored with them, and the neural pathways will fade and die.

only way to kill thoughts like this is through boredom.

This is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This book is industry standard though it's aimed at 'depression' rather than addiction - there's a lot of cross-over. There are also works aimed at addiction, but Gilbert is very well known. The industry is increasingly starting to think of and treat depression in terms similar to addiction. Combining mindfulness meditation has given us MCT which is also very affective. ... but CBT is the chosen method of treatment for addiction.

All this relies on your conviction that you don't want to get high, though. There's this old joke:

How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb has to want to change!

I've come to understand that it doesn't really matter why we stop - the reasons evolve as we evolve ... it's a decision that must be made anew each and every day, and although your parents seemed to have kick-started this, you're the one who is enforcing it. They couldn't stop you, if you really wanted to. The consequences would be disproportionate, I expect ... but you should be grateful that you have a good relationship with your parents (enough that you respect those consequences) and grateful that you seem to hope beyond this. Some people don't, and their addictions run deeper.

My point is - articulating the reasons why you want to stop might be a bit more scary, since you're taking responsibility, but ultimately it'll help you align your values with your thoughts - which are that you don't want to get high.

the process to re-write your thoughts is long ... but you'll see relief pretty quickly after you've learnt the skill (read the book, or at-least look up CBT) - it'll be an emotional process, since thoughts, rationalisation and emotion are tied together, so don't expect it to be tear free. and, what with it being a skill, it's something that takes time to learn and master. and depending upon the complexity and depth of the addiction, determines the amount of effort and time for results. saying all this, it'd be reasonable, if all else were equal, to expect the thoughts and feelings to become manageable with-in a couple of months of practising, and virtually gone with-in 6.

distracting yourself in the mean-while is another strategy, but it often causes other problems, in that something of equal intensity (and so self deception) is required, and addictions are always damaging - it's just a question of degrees. so you take up music or you take up exercise, and the only way to get a comparable high is to go harder and to go further, and before you know what's happened it's come to define you as much as weed ever did - and maybe it's not as tragic, but it still doesn't look healthy and free. and long term, there's still the vulnerability, under extreme stress, that you'll revert to stonage, because, of-course, you haven't confronted the underlying issues. as a stop gap, though, it might be required until the CBT can take affect. and music and exercise, of-course, is good.

4 months isn't super long, and it's not unexpected you're still feeling the urge, especially if you haven't quite articulated or taken ownership of this decision... however, you're much better armed than an inebriated (or wet stoner ... perhaps you're a dry stoner?) - in that you're sober, and you've clearly driven yourself clean, through personal discipline or support, I don't know ... I actually expect that 4 months is about the time you're going to start crawling up the walls, cause so much of these past few weeks has been about staving off the immediate effects and withdrawing, and now that you're coming into balance again (neurologically speaking) you'll be out looking for stimulation again :) sounds nice

stick with it - as the good times become more consistent, they get better. let us know

I don't want to scare you but this could take a lot longer than you'd like to think. Especially if you used to try to cover up the depression & anxiety to begin with.

I'm on day 39 right now and it really peaked after 3-4 weeks. Week 6 right now is being easier on me. This is a journey and you have to go back to remembering why you're doing this. This process could take you up to 2-3 years.
A helpful study I went back to (this is my 3rd time) was one out of Sweden found here:http://droginfo.com/pdf/guideuk.pdf
A guide to quitting
Marijuana and Hashish
Drug Addiction Treatment Centre
Lund University Hospital
Lund, Sweden

Understand that you can't rush this. You have a lot of work to do but you're worth it in the end. Another helpful item for me was to work through at least a few pages a night was Feeling Good (https://www.amazon.ca/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336). It's been the best 10$ I spent throughout this whole experience. Also eat only clean foods. Rice (a ton of it everyday) was good for me. It could take a week or two until your eating gets a bit better....it's all just a bunch of small steps.

The reason it could take a while is because you should accept that you could go through PAWS after the first month. One day at a time. Write a journal. After a while go back a week or two and reread what you wrote. You'll see that progress!

Best of luck man!

Edit: just touching on the book... do the activities. Keep a weekly log of your BDC score! It shows progress even if you are going through a shit day. Mine went 29,23,20,16,14,12,11. The activities are helpful. Never give up!

See my answer above, but also the book Real Happiness by Sharon Salzberg is a 28 day program that helps you develop a daily practice. Get the one that comes with a CD of guided meditations.

Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation: A 28-Day Program https://www.amazon.com/dp/0761159258/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_aSa3AbYJA4GXQ

Also, I have found it incredibly helpful to join a weekly group, or sangha, which is the Buddhist term for community. Having a good teacher and a supportive group makes a big difference. There seems to be a little something extra when you practice with a group, you can get into a deeper state, quicker and stay longer. Maybe it’s just the shared intention of everyone showing up, wanting to experience freedom, that helps commitment. I dunno, I don’t believe in the airy-fairy stuff. But it helps.

I follow my bedtime routine:

1. Nutrition is the most important part - it is very important we do not eat anything with sugar and have a very light dinner. I only drink water, as even tea can have caffeine in it.
   
2. Make sure my room isn't too hot, too stuffy, or too bright. Bedrooms that are quiet, dark and cool are optimal for a good night’s rest. I rest better in cooler places.
   
3. Stick to the same things every night - Exercise, a bath, pajamas, brushing teeth and a few pages from a book. I make sure to stick to it consistently so that my body knows what to expect.
   
4. During the day I do exercise as much as possible - biking, running, playing etc. At least one hour before bedtime.
   
5. I use a weighted blanket every night and it helps me relax and go the sleep faster.
   
   I got my favorite weighted blanket from a seller in Amazon for only around $65. Worth every penny and the best part is it doesn't have any side effect. I hope that you'll overcome the withdrawal soon and my routine will also help you to sleep longer!

Deal with the difficulty, my friend, it will help develop you and bring you back to health.

You will have good days and you'll have bad days. The thing is that the bad days are as important as the good. They are necessary, both for your mind to go through in order to recalibrate to sobriety, and they also help develop things in you, such as resilience, consistency, and deeper understanding.

There's a book I've been reading that has helped cement this into my mind even moreso. It's called The Upside of Your Dark Side, and shows how negative emotions can actually be a good thing which help you develop and help you respond to situations appropriately.

For someone undergoing a bit of withdrawl, it's necessary to go through periods of feeling down, periods of feeling anxious. It's all part of the path towards having better days on the good days, to keeping your mind sharp and engaged with the right things, to get you to the lifestyle where you'll experience much greater happiness, autonomy, and effectiveness than you otherwise would have.

Now you've got a puppy! That actually CAN be a very beneficial thing here. It's a living creature that you have to be attentive to, provide for, put on a routine. This marks a new phase in your life, if you commit to that dog. You can use this to propel you forward in your attempt to quit. I know that in my own situation, similar life changes have been what's been keeping me from going back. Make sure you don't let him down! Don't be absent and absent-minded. It'll come naturally as you stay sober, I promise it does work.

Your doing good. The fact that you've made it these four days already is big. This can really set some momentum for you, and know that it does usually get much better after the first week or so.

Good luck, you've got this!

Yeah I see the conflict. There seems to be a lot of different factors at play that are influencing your decision to keep spending time with them. I hear you on the money thing; I think if someone owes you money you can ask for it politely if it has been a long time since they borrowed it. You can come up with an excuse if you want to, like: "Hey I need that money to pay for an online coding class I want to take" or "I'm saving up for a new computer" or something along those lines. It's in good practice for people to pay off debts promptly anyways so the person who is owed money doesn't have to worry about it or hassle anyone for it.

And for what it's worth man, I'm 23, and I keep in touch with maybe two, three people I knew from high school and before. Once you move to a new place, you basically make a whole new social network.

I think the most important step to take is to really figure out the why behind smoking. I think often times we look at the substance we're addicted to and blame solely it for the addiction, when in reality addiction is always a means to cope, avoid, or modify one's perception of the reality they created. Quitting weed is a bit more complicated than just not smoking. It involves a lot of pretty deep, personal shit that you may not be entirely aware of at the moment.

If you're really serious about quitting weed and transforming yourself and your life, that deep introspection and self-awareness will be the one tool you need the most, not willpower. Willpower is fickle, as you've seen. You can sit around and be strong for awhile, but eventually the right situation will come and willpower won't be enough. What will be enough is reaching a point where you no longer even feel compelled to smoke because you've developed yourself beyond the need to self-medicate.

I would recommend a few things, if you're REALLY serious about quitting, (not just tapering down, or lowering tolerance or w/e):

Download the Insight Timer app and begin meditating daily. Learn how to draw awareness to your body and your breath. Learn how to refocus your attention away from stray thought patterns and rambling ideas and towards your own body's natural cycle of breathing.

Purchase this book and read it.

Get your daily routine in place. Exercise certain muscles each weekday. Eat right. Drink water. Lots of it.

Invest at least an hour of your day to learning about and developing your interests in coding or computers etc.

Don't smoke for a month.

Do this and see if you still want to spend time with your friends.

Even if you don't follow the suggestions I've given now, perhaps you will in a few years time. You're still young man (I mean, heck, I am) but all of us here wish we could go back to when we were 19 and slap some sense into ourselves. A better life is waiting for you, trust me.

I think all the above points are really good although I'd be concerned about something you can only take if your liver is in good health. Also, hi! I'm a 31 y/o mother to an 18mo old. It's fucking crazy, isn't it? I'm sorry you're having these extra hurdles on top of what is basically the most insane hurdle of your life - having and caring for an infant. I quit a ten year (24/7) pot habit when I was 28 and had my baby at 30. I would recommend getting a second opinion; I strongly believe in the benefits of medication in the right circumstances but if you think your doc is needlessly prescribing benzos, of all things, talk to someone else. A lot of people with postpartum depression don't have it set in until after the newborn stage, too, so your doctor should be on top of that shit. I also did talk therapy when I quit (& took an antidepressant (Wellbutrin)) for a year, and both of those were vital for me. I quit drinking for a year, as well, so as not to fill the void with another substance. What I did instead was tried to meditate. I know that with an infant that's a tall order, but if you can find this album on iTunes:
https://www.amazon.com/Experience-Yoga-Nidra-Relaxation-Remastered/dp/9197789429

You can get just the track that contains the short version of yoga nidra, and if your baby sleeps for longer than 1/2 an hour give it a whirl. It is both relaxing and rejuvenating (and fine for your liver!).

I relapsed before this last Christmas and spent a week high, so high; it does not make caring for the baby any easier. I'm really happy to be back on the wagon, getting to be present in my life. Take care of yourself! It's so easy to be hard on yourself, try to be good to yourself as you get through this.

Here are some things I think may help:

• Go for a run/lift weights/some physical activity so that you become tired and want to sleep. Even if it's just 20 push ups!
  
  
• Meditate
  
  
• 5-10 mg of Melatonin
  
  
• Read a book
  
  
• Watch some mindless TV. I like Friends.
  
  
• Call a friend you haven't chatted with in a while out of the blue and see if you can catch up!
  
  
• https://www.doyogawithme.com/
  
  
• Learn an instrument, practice a skill (writing, programming, etc.)
  
  
• Listen to music you feel good about and can jam/sing along to.
  
  
• Find some evening meetups on meetup.com
  
  
• Do something creative! Like draw/write poetry.
  
  
• Learn about addiction! Here are 2 good books that have helped me tremendously:
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521224469&sr=8-1&keywords=gabor+mate+in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1521224489&sr=1-2&keywords=allen+carr+easy+way+to+quit+smoking
  
  Good luck! You'll find a way!

It's funny that you're worried about losing your friends when you admit you're actually smoking alone 10x a day...take time for that to set in. You'll find new friends! Your current friends are only your friends because you choose to only associate with stoners. If you're just worried about losing friends and not taking care of yourself, you're going to keep feeling (more) shitty and encounter bigger life issues as you get older. Lots of my real friends started families and had children, while I just laughed and said "why have a kid when you can have a boat!" The "friends" I associated through weed are NOT moving forward, stuck in their ways, and I now find myself sorta laughing at them for their stupid/non-coherent stoner talk. I used to smoke just as much, if not more, and 90% of the time by myself. You likely have some anxiety/depression issues you should address with a Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapist (MBCT). You should also explore meditation and find the true, inner you...he is waiting to come out if you're willing to allow him :) Here's a book you should check out! https://www.amazon.com/Want-Change-Life-Depression-Addiction/dp/1897572239

Hey man. From reading your post it seems to me that you’re depressed and have developed false beliefs about yourself that are now so deeply engraved that you accept them and don’t even bother to challenge them. Now, I don’t know you at all, but I’m pretty sure you’ve not failed at everything, you’re just not seeing the positives right now.

What I can tell you is that quitting will probably not give you happiness by itself. You’ve got to work on your beliefs about yourself and your outlook on the future.

I just quit, and started reading a book called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. I’ve not finished the book yet, but I started feeling better almost immediately upon reading it and realizing some of my irrational thoughts about myself and my future. It will basically teach you cognitive behavioral therapy, which is a therapy method many therapists use today. It will give you many tools to use for identifying negative thought patterns and getting yourself out of them. Some of them directly described as being effective against the EXCACT things you’re saying about yourself here.

I know reading a book is not the most tempting thing to do when you’ve given up hope, but please give it a try. It even has a section about quitting smoking, which can be applied to quitting cannabis.

Feel better bro ❤️

hey this is long, so feel free to take your time reading this, just don't ignore it cause i'm about to suggest something to you that might help your addiction.

first off, i hope you're doing well friend. i may not know you, but i do care. if you're feeling suicidal, i urge you to talk to someone. this is from the reddit suicidewatch faq.

secondly, good on you for throwing away the cigs. if you're having trouble quitting smoking nicotine, i suggest reading the book "Stop Smoking Now" by Allen Carr. if you don't mind reading a pdf version, you can use this, otherwise you can get a copy on amazon for cheap here. the great thing about the book is that it's short, only 100 or so pages.

if you have doubts about quitting through reading a book, trust me, i had the same doubts. you don't even have to quit right away, the book tells you you can smoke as you're reading it. it was incredibly hard for me to go cold turkey, until i came across this book. i tried lots of different things (substitutes like gum, vapes, even more weed) to help me quit, all to no avail. then i picked up allen carr's book, and by the last page i was done smoking. i had no need for another one.

the other great thing about the book is that i believed it helped put me in the right mindset to quit smoking weed. it might not work the same for you, but i highly suggest reading this if you're having trouble with nicotine addiction. if this book doesn't help, then read his other book which is also very helpful, link is here. it's a bit longer, but it goes even more into depth and solidifies the points in his first book.

NOTE: make sure to pay attention to all the points that he makes in his first book, otherwise you might find yourself smoking again, meaning you'll have to pick up the second book. that's what happened to me, but the second book still helped me quit. i thought that i could smoke a cigarette during a night out drinking cause it had been months past since my last one...

everything one step at a time

Not cannabis, but Allen Carr's book on working smoking (nicotine) was helpful for me. Helps you realize that with addiction, you think your giving something up when really you're only gaining. There is no benefit to smoking nicotine. You have just trained yourself to believe there is

Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615482155/

It takes a while for the depression to fade after you stop smoking. It's going to be a couple of months of emotional bleakness, probably; it was for me.

But that's just, what? Half a semester. Less than your summer break back in high school. You can do that, if what's waiting for you on the other side is the rest of your life, free of this burden.

When the depression gets to me, this book has helped. It might help for getting through the transitional period.

I'm not going to tell you that life on the other side is all rainbows and puppy dogs, but a lot of it is. It's going to be hard getting there; you're going to have to re-define yourself as a person. But that's a rare opportunity. How many people really get to do that in their lives? You get to decide who you're going to be when you're clean.

Get started whenever you're ready. And good luck.

It sounds like your mind is freaking out about a change. This is 100% normal. Your mind hates change and avoids it at all costs...including at the cost of causing you to feel like you're on the verge of a mental breakdown. Again, this is 100% normal.

Please, just breathe. It is very hard but I promise the first week is the hardest. Just know that a) it's temporary and b) it's downhill from here.

Realize that the cravings are not YOUR cravings. They're just thoughts; they're literally just in your head. Allow yourself to see the thoughts as just figments of your imagination and not something that has control over you and you'll be well on your way.

Also remember that this is a process. I repeat, this does NOT happen overnight. Expect yourself to go thru mood swings, cravings, lack of sleep, etc. If you expect it, then you'll be prepared for the shitty times and you can let them pass with greater ease.

Lastly, I would highly recommend this book. It helped me to understand exactly what's going on while my mind is going thru the transition.

Hope this all helps!

EDIT: grammar

I understand that completely. I have a six figure job where if people knew what I was doing when I got home, they would be shocked. I also quit drinking a few years ago and convinced myself that this was much better for me and wasn't going to be an issue, but then I basically became a depressed shut in except for work.

I feel your pain, but we'll get through it and be better people for it. I was doing the shame and self-loathing as well, and now when I tell myself "You're a piece of shit", I stop and go "No, that's not true" and I think about the things I've done in my life to make me successful and think about the people that love me. You have to stand up to yourself, which has taken me about a year to get to this point and it's what started me on the road to becoming sober. I didn't do it alone though, I went to therapy and used a work book called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook". There's a link below if you're interested in working through it. It's pretty eye opening.


https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=asc_df_1684034582/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=366299527575&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14309115948772840390&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027746&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-818602319988&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=79033899111&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=366299527575&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14309115948772840390&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027746&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-818602319988

Take some l-Tyrosine!!! I feel the same thing whenever I am going through withdrawals and l-tyrosine helps it a lot. Buy the Now brand ONLY, I use this religiously. GNC's brand is bunk and most others are.

I feel your pain man but I have faith in l-tyrosine! Also r/nofap, it all sounds like BS in the beginning but I can assure you it is not!

Edit:
Take the l-tyrosine in the morning on an empty stomach before you eat (500mg) with some B-6. Once you feel comfortable with the effects, try taking another 500mg one hour after your first dose (still before eating). I'm telling you this shit works wonders.

I

http://www.amazon.com/Now-Foods-L-Tyrosine-500mg-120-Capsules/dp/B0013OUPSE

Also, if the tyrosine doesn't help try nofap, I guarantee you will be back in the game 110% after it.

This is all caused by low amounts of dopamine due to withdrawal which inhibits you from being aroused sexually, and probably in many other ways that you haven't realized yet.

PM me if you have more questions.

Don't discount your feelings of neglect regarding your girlfriend. It actually is rational to feel that way. Long distance relationships are ridiculously hard. I'm not saying she needs to change her behavior and text you back more promptly, but maybe you need to find something/one other than her with which to occupy yourself. As sexual beings, we need connection and compassion and it's rough when you cannot achieve these feelings with your partner. It can also put a huge strain on a relationship if one person is leaning on the other for happiness.

I get those depressive moods once I start quitting. I'm actually unsure of how to fix the depression, which is why I've booked a therapist. You could try reading a self-help book Feeling Good is a popular, well-reviewed book, as well as occupying your time with hobbies and interests that you can do on your own.

> I wish I could love myself enough to not smoke weed because I know it is not good for me.

It sounds to me like you could really use therapy, or at least start reading a book like Feeling Good by David D. Burns.

I highly recommend reading Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615482155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_dgSLAbB9S2DJ2

Even though it's meant for cigarettes, it really helped me change the way I view smoking and it's addiction. Many of the principles are the same. Also I never smoked cigs, despised them actually, so I'd just mentally replace cigarettes or nicotine when mentioned with joints or THC respectively and I think I somehow kinda subconsciously linked the two and now view weed smoking in a similar manner to that of cigarette smoking, unnecessary, pointless, and damaging to your psyche.

Take on the viewpoint that you can celebrate being a non-smoker, that you are living a better life.

Kava Stress Relief Tea. This stuff is awesome. I drink a cup with two bags and find it really helps when the anxiety kicks in. Also the act of prepping/making the tea is a nice ritual of sorts.

I HIGHLY recommend Kava Tea. It is a stress relief tea made from organic herbs that yogis use to help meditate. I quit 5 days ago and have been drinking 3 cups a day and it feels as though the anxiety just disappears. I had a panic attack the day I quit and punched a mirror so hard I broke my knuckles. The counselor at the crisis center suggested the tea and it is a miracle. If you are running out of hope like I was, just give it a try. It has relaxed me as much as weed did. Except you don't turn into a zombie like with weed. DONT GIVE UP. The anxiety is coming from your own thoughts. You WILL get though this and we are all here to help.

You're not alone buddy. It took me years before I realized that I was well past the 'Just to relax' excuse.

Try giving Tyrosine a shot. It didn't pull me out of 100% of the withdrawl symptoms but it definitely blunted them a bit, especially the mood swings.

It took me like 13 times of trying to quit over a period of 9 months before I got as far as I am now (basically 2 months minus a relapse a couple days ago, though I don't regret the relapse, it reminded me why I don't like weed).

There's a book that may be helpful to you. I needed it my first few weeks and it helped a lot. It's called The Secret Addiction: Overcoming Your Marijuana Dependency. http://www.amazon.com/Secret-Addiction-Overcoming-Marijuana-Dependency/dp/0615483194 I felt like it was a bit long and only got through half of it, but it was exactly what I needed. The author does talk about God in ways I don't see eye-to-eye, but those parts are brief, he doesn't force it down your throat and he doesn't only gear the book for Christians. It's a good book for when you're struggling hardest.

When I quit smoking cigarettes, I knew it would never work if I had stressful projects or deadlines coming up. I didn't set a date or anything, just waited until it was easy street at work for a few weeks, chose a normal day like any other and just told myself over and over that I just wasn't smoking cigarettes anymore. After failing over and over for years, one time it just stuck.

A lot of people, myself included, have had similar experiences with weed and are still smoking, waiting for the "right time" to quit again. It can be a setback and it's hard not to make up excuses for yourself, but one time you're going to try a little harder, more consciously, and you're going to quit and it's going to stick. Decide when that is for yourself, take control, make it happen. I'm trying to do the same, and so are many others.

While not specifically weed related, I think a lot of concepts from Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking can be very useful in tackling the mental hurdles of quitting weed.

There are some great Kindle books that dive into this matter, I started reading one yesterday and I am almost finished. I am only on day 4 but reading about it has helped so far. And I can remember what I am reading for once!

​

link: https://www.amazon.com/Quitting-Weed-Complete-Matthew-Clarke-ebook-dp-B078SDVZFG/dp/B078SDVZFG/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=

I also read EWtSS and it was easy for me to see similarities in my nicotine and marijuana use. Carr's book helped break my brainwashing with smoking and I'd recommend it to anybody looking to quit smoking cigs.

The Power of Habit is another book that helped shift me away from a stoner mindset. I'd suggest diving headfirst into it and analyze your habits with the habit loop exercises. After reading this book, I've adopted a 'we are creatures of habit' sort of attitude.

I got this ebook and it's been helpful for me (not mine lol)

Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615482155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_zN1XBbERMPFPP

This

The Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook.

Link: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learni... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_htHbzbDER04EW

Yeah I have the same shit going on. Doesn't matter what I quit, a new addiction pops up. [This book] (http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Addiction-7-Step-Handbook-Ending/dp/0061987395) gets at what you have to do to stop that stuff, and is generally helpful in the process. For the time being though, just stay away from psychoactive shit in general.

So I'm not trying to be a dick by asking this but I have been reading this book about mindfulness and depression that was suggested on /r/Anxiety. One of the things the book talks about is the way depression fucks with our thinking. My question to you is "How do you know things won't get better?" Unless you have some sort of X-Men type power that can see into the future, you don't know that things will not get better. Sure 8 months seems like a long time but if you really really think about it, it's such a small amount of time in your life. Depression can really really cripple your mind. It twists reality into something that isn't the true, and it does it so well that you end up stuck in a loop of negative thinking. You get so down on yourself that you actually start to believe that those negative thoughts seem true. Stopping those negative thoughts is not an easy task, I'll give you that. I have been there, in fact many people have been there. You might be thinking "Dude, no one can understand where I am at right now. You don't know me!" You are right I don't know your struggles, but a struggle is a struggle no matter what it is, am I right? So why compare your struggles to someone elses's? Struggles are on a level playing field. what is not a level playing field is how long it takes us to overcome those struggles, and there should be no shame in that. Why? Because your still trying to overcome those struggles. Trust me in this, and I am sure everyone in this sub can attest to what I am about to say, giving up on overcoming those struggles isn't going to make you feel any better, change your life for the better, or make you feel good about yourself. Eventually it'll land you right back to where you started. The cycle will happen over and over again until you figure it out. Now you gotta ask yourself, how long do I want to stay in that cycle? My whole life? A few more times? Or do I just keep pushing forward, even if it's millimeters at a time? I say go with the millimeters. Sure you might not see immediate results, or maybe you will, but you don't know unless you keep moving those millimeters. And if you fail, accept that it happened. Don't wallow in that drowning sludge of sorrow and guilt. Wallowing just makes it harder. Forgive yourself and move on. I'll suggest 2 books that really have really helped me in understand my anxiety and depression a little better. First one is called The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Feeling Good by David Burns. I know the titles sound super hippy dippy and cheezy. I had that thought as well when they were suggested, but once I started reading them the stuff they were saying made a fuck ton of sense. I found myself often saying "Holy shit! That is exactly how I feel and exactly my thought process. These are not cures, they are tools. Like any tool you can either let it sit there or you can pick it up and try to figure out how to use it to your advantage and you have to keep applying it. It might sound daunting but believe me friend the more you practice it the easier it is. Please give those books a try, I mean considering the alternative (staying where you are at or going back to something that is going to make you feel worse about yourself) what is $20 and an hour of reading for a couple of months? Also, fucking 8 months!!! Holy shit! That is fan-friggin'-tastic. How about staying in it for another two months and make it a year. You're a warrior! You can do it. You just gotta try to break out of that cycle and rewire that negative thought pattern. I promise you it's easier than you think...or your depression thinks.