(Part 2) Best products from r/leaves

Congratulations on your progress so far! One of the things that heavy, long-term marijuana use does is keep us from claiming control and agency over our thought processes. The brain is like a field of tall grass. As we choose to take one pathway more often than others the grass gives way to a trail, and traveling down that trail takes less effort than going through the grass. The more we use certain neural pathways the more ingrained they become. This is thought to be one of the main reasons people who suffer from one depressive episode are at much greater risk for recurrent episodes throughout their lives. It sounds like you are doing a great job building new external habits, but you may want to also spend some time consciously retraining your brain to take new neural pathways to more positive and energized conclusions. This can be done through a combination of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. Both of these can be done on your own, without the guidance of a mental health professional. (but if you feel like you want help, therapy can be very helpful too. And take the impetus of learning all these techniques alone off your shoulders.)

I am recovering from 10 years of heavy use starting in my teens, and depression, anxiety, and rumination are some of my most difficult symptoms. These techniques are helping me a lot.

I really liked this book: https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286

But there are so many good ones out there!
Best of luck reclaiming your mind, mate!

I've done this many times. I don't have the problem that you have with your son (temptation), as it's really hard to get in my area and I'm the only one in my house who does it.

Here's what you do to get by:

First absolutely resolve to not do it. No matter what you're feeling. This is obviously harder than it sounds. All kinds of things will happen to you. I usually develop some weird physical symptom that I think is cancer. Strange pains that I focus on, etc. You will not sleep for a while, so buy advil PM and take it sparingly. You're not looking to transition to a new addiction. Buy lots of tea. I go with Yogi Lavendar Stress relief, Calming, and Bedtime. These are 3 different teas. Use one of each in a single cup of tea. That's 3 bags per cup. Add a teaspoon of honey if you're into that. Next, buy a jump rope or just do lots of jumping jacks when you're freaking out. Jump rope for 100 jumps and then move up to 200. If you chose jumping jacks, you need to do no less than 50 at a time. Move up to 100 when you can. Next, start meditating. There is a great book called 8 minute meditation. This book helped me enormously. People think weed is easy to get away from. It's fucking really hard. Especially if you've been doing it for a while (years). Your brain needs to rewire itself to find its own chemicals for pleasure. This takes a month or so just to start happening, then still longer.

After the first week of no weed you're in much better shape. It becomes infinitely easier, but you're not out of the woods yet. After about a month, you'll be feeling great. However, having someone in the house that smokes will make it very hard, because you'll go from being proud that you're over it, to missing it. You must have your son move his use to where you are not able to smell it at all. It needs to be out of the house completely. I would also insist that you have him keep himself free of the smell from when he uses it. Even a faint smell of it is going to make you think about going back. You're looking for complete separation so that the only time you're reminded of it is if you hear a snoop dogg song or something.

If you start freaking out and getting overly panicy, which is entirely possible, do not hesitate to go to your doctor and ask for a prescription for something to calm you down. Again, whatever it is, maybe xanax or something... Do not take it regularly. Never two days in a row. You're not looking for a new habit. Take it only when it's an extreme emergency. Use it as a rescue. Not a crutch. Do get it if you don't think you can adhere to extreme discipline. This stuff is way worse than weed if you get addicted. Maybe once every three days or once a week. It will definitely help you if you decide to go that route.

This process will work. You just have to not allow yourself to give in to your feelings. You'll get your own comfort back. It takes time and you have to believe.

Tea + excercise + meditation + will power + time = You and your body's ability to generate it's own happiness/comfort.

Good luck.

I wasn't overcome with an urge to explain myself at the time, I see this type of comment and hear it so often outside of reddit that it evoked a gut response. Returning to my computer after a few days and seeing a suggestion from a mod to elaborate I’ll try to do so now. Wall of text incoming:

When you first realize that something comforting you is actually holding you back and preventing you from moving out of the situation that causes you pain there is a collision of urge with reason. You’re wracked with anxiety, and the thing you’re using to meet that need of comfort, love, or stability no longer invokes the same untainted relief it once did. You now see the thoughts of meeting this need you have as craving, and when you resist it even just a little bit the craving can intensify. It feels like a positive feedback loop of fear, anxiety, physical/in-your-body discomfort, clouded thinking, action you now recognize as a bad choice, temporary relief, shame/self-loathing, then back to fear...

This can go on for years somewhat unconsciously. You may have moments of clarity that recede back into the darkness, and the same epiphanies come back around like they’re in some wide orbit. This in itself can add another layer of shame and fear, you’ll feel yourself getting older and the pain of missing out on life can reach a fever pitch.

When someone says “the cravings lessen but never go away”, to a person who is in the throws of these cravings, and who is likely seeing the physical discomfort and the obsession as one symptom, this is a life sentence. Why would I even bother to stop if this skin-crawling, hot, tense, thought-scrambling craving never goes away completely? So you’re saying that, unless I keep smoking weed I’ll never feel completely normal and clear-headed again (if you can call the high and the after glow "normal and clear-headed.")

I’m up for having a go at a thorough explanation, so first of all, let's ask “why do I feel this need to comfort myself?” We need some insight and background knowledge to make more sense of this. Chances are you’re dealing with, and bare with the idea for a second, multi-generational trauma. Every human born will experience this to some degree, even if it’s not your standard definition of ‘trauma.’ Plus you’re dealing with a current life situation that is inherently unfulfilling. Multi-generational trauma can be something as obvious as rape and degrees of molestation, non-sexual violence and verbal abuse and as subtle as pernicious patterns of co-dependency, coldness from a caregiver and subtle verbal takedowns from family members and life-long friends, or even a series of common social experiences that can be scarring when accumulated, which can leave one wondering if it’s really there at all, and you may ask yourself “why am I being so dramatic and sensitive when others have it so much worse?” Inherently unfulfilling life situations can also take on a wide-range of forms that from the outside may or may not be obvious.

There’s even more background info that is necessary to consider: We Americans (pardon my assumption) live in a capitalist democracy that, in practice, is a “meritocracy.” what it means for you is this: you feel when something good happens in your life you’re completely responsible for it (job, lover, other personal accomplishment) but when something bad happens or nothing happens you’re also responsible. This is a relatively new idea in the world, and seemed absurd to non-americans even 200 years ago. You don’t choose where you’re born, who you’re born to, what befalls you in early childhood or even adulthood, but this culture and economy, which is spreading through the species, runs on the idea that whatever you want you can get with personal hard work and vision. I’m not saying this is bad or good, it's just something to recognize, especially when we condemn ourselves for not meeting certain goals and expectations.

We want a simple answer to our problems, and there usually is one, but we need to synthesize it from a complexity of information, some of which is specific to you, and we have to avoid latching onto a pre-packaged answer floating around society. e.g. you have a disease, this is what it will be like forever, and it’s not your fault because there’s something wrong with your brain. People saying that trying to help forget just how fucking intense it is in the beginning, damning a newly-hatching mind to ultimate despair. I’ll tell you right now the beginning is the same and different for everyone. personal, highly individual pains that haven’t been felt in years will emerge, memories long forgotten will flood back in. It’s a relief (you’re no longer smothered by the plant’s effects) and it’s painful at the same time. In my personal case I needed to see a therapist for a couple months even before I quit completely to work through trauma that i didn’t even know i had, that echoed down through my life from my childhood and pre-teen years.

Okay, getting to the point. You’re going to still have cravings, lucid dreams of smoking, and moments of despair questioning your choice to stop if you’re situation and understanding of the situation that first drew you to a dependence on weed hasn’t changed much. If you’re not convinced you need to stop smoking or ingesting weed to regain the energy and emotional clarity to move out of your shitty situation then it's futile to try. I’ll post a list of reasons to quit smoking at the end of this reply (that I didn’t come up with, I saw it on a youtube video) that you can write down and carry around with you to remind yourself. You'll know you've made the decision because the cravings will have subsided substantially, and soon will all together unless triggered by acute emotional pain. If not, work on other things first, find a therapist and a good PCP, especially a DO or an MD that understands integrative medicine.

There are a lot of supplements out there that only make really expensive piss. Some good ones to research and consider buying are relora, which you can get off of Amazon, the one I take is by Pure Encapsulations, a high-end adrenal support complex like this or this, creatine, vitamin D if you live in a place or have a lifestyle that doesn’t get much sun, omega-3 if you don’t eat fish often. I doubt I need to mention drinking plenty of water, cutting out some of the bullshit food, and going for a walk once in awhile.

You may be overtaken with the idea that, because you’ve lost time you need to go full-tilt, you need to do all of it all at once and to an extreme to compensate and “catch up.” Don’t let yourself get trapped by that. You’ll burn out.

Accepting the idea that you need to say no to friends family and the internalized expectations you have shackled to you, to think of yourself and meet your needs in a direct rather than roundabout way, is easy when you realize that there are so many people that couldn’t say no and they got sick, and I mean actually sick, like cancer, heart disease, fibromyalgia, or they committed suicide. That probably won’t be you because you’ve read this far already.

Closing suggestion: think of what you loved when you were young, recall the subtle pull that you felt. Where were you being pulled? Don’t force it, and if you don’t feel it yet or feel a gut-tightening revulsion to this idea then don’t despair, just work on meeting your needs and self-parenting until you’re clear enough.

List of benefits for quitting smoking weed:

• dramatic increase in energy
  
• increased mental dexterity
  
• smoother mood transitions
  
• increased short-term memory
  
• increase in stress tolerance
  
• increase in emotional intelligence
  
• a lot less wasted time
  
• improved diet (no more munchies)
  
• dramatic increase in confidence
  
• no more fumbling with words
  
• increase in life results
  
• increase in creativity
  
• enjoying simple pleasures (not lost in thoughts)
  
• tastebuds are resensitized
  
• increase in body size
  
• increase in humility and ability to relax (no outside tools needed)
  
• ability to sleep and wake up more easily
  
• less risk of health problems
  
• more money, less impulse buying
  
• increased desire to improve
  
• develop wittiness in personality
  
• no indecision
  
• no paranoia
  
• no analysis paralysis
  
• look happier and healthier
  
• feel happier and healthier
  
• increase in presence
  
• actually be able to meditate
  
• alignment with deeper needs
  
• detection of subtle pull
  
• total self-respect
  
• increase in problem solving abilities
  
• become more persuasive and charismatic
  
• ability to attract
  
• better health, less sick often
  
• more passion and purpose
  
• more concentration
  
• become more reliable
  
• no feeling of hiding anything, lying, avoiding situations
  
• forgotten memories creep back
  
• increased sex drive and better sex
  
• improve sense of smell
  
• improve sense of hearing
  
• increased dreaming and dream recall
  
  edit: formatting
  edit 2: clarity
  edit 3: clarity

Awesome, let me(us) know how it goes for you! I began to notice results after about 1-2 weeks of doing it every other day. It's way harder to focus just on your breathing than you initially would think. Slowing down my brain, especially for anxiety, is a struggle worth pursuing! Just keep at it!

This book is a great read, and it talks about the process of how our parents bestow traits onto us, good and bad and how the "gifted" child is able to rise above the challenges, or "gifts" inherent within their upbringing.

It's easily one of the best books I've ever bought, it really helped put things into perspective for me, and while it doesn't focus on marijuana, it does talk a bit about substance abuse, and how the true path(s) to recovery stem from an honest and thoughtful engagement with your past.

There is the genetic side of inheritance, as well as the environmental side which you mentioned, as my Mother still frets for my saftey over the smallest threats. If something goes wrong, the first thing she does is overact to make sure I'm ok, and I'm 25 now, live on my own, and have graduated from college, at this point, it's ludicrous to treat me that way. If I say I don't feel well the script is generally, Are you going to throw up? Do you need X, Y or Z? And while the love is there, and I appreciate the sentiment, it's a negative way to engage with my feelings because it trains me to enter panic mode at the drop of a hat. In my head I go, omg am I going to throw up? Do I need any of those things, and I immediately feel worse. People who don't feel well don't need to be reminded of all the negative aspects of it, they need help creating a stable platform!!

I think the genetic inheritance and the environmental training compound with one another. This book helped me understand the dichotomous relationship of the Nature/Nature paradigm, the nature of my anxiety, and how all of that fits together. With meditation on top of growing up a bit, and reading this book, I've done a lot better with anxiety. It's now been over 4 months since I've had any sort of panic attacks or quantifiable anxiety, and I only stopped smoking 40 days ago. I think that training myself to not enter panic mode at the drop of a hat, and acknowledging that dynamic in the first place were crucial components for building more positive behaviors.

Good luck with the journey, it gets easier, and maybe just having a new book to read can help you keep your mind off of anxiety inducing thoughts!

You can do this! Take walks, read books, go to a public space around others, or find some other way to relax. Things will work out.

Keep your head up. Check your attitude when you can, but most importantly, don't be too hard on yourself!

You are alive and breathing! That's amazing stuff in itself. Thich Nhat Hanh taught me that in his book Happiness. How to be happy just breathing!

You can find your way. It takes time. I smoked daily for 18 years before I quit... It's not been an easy journey, but I am a better person for it.

Here are some things I think may help:

• Go for a run/lift weights/some physical activity so that you become tired and want to sleep. Even if it's just 20 push ups!
  
  
• Meditate
  
  
• 5-10 mg of Melatonin
  
  
• Read a book
  
  
• Watch some mindless TV. I like Friends.
  
  
• Call a friend you haven't chatted with in a while out of the blue and see if you can catch up!
  
  
• https://www.doyogawithme.com/
  
  
• Learn an instrument, practice a skill (writing, programming, etc.)
  
  
• Listen to music you feel good about and can jam/sing along to.
  
  
• Find some evening meetups on meetup.com
  
  
• Do something creative! Like draw/write poetry.
  
  
• Learn about addiction! Here are 2 good books that have helped me tremendously:
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1521224469&sr=8-1&keywords=gabor+mate+in+the+realm+of+hungry+ghosts
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1521224489&sr=1-2&keywords=allen+carr+easy+way+to+quit+smoking
  
  Good luck! You'll find a way!

I've been having mini anxiety episodes at work and today I realized it's because I kept trying to deny that I really am unsatisfied with my job. It's decent money but I know in my heart of hearts that I would like something else. Once I had that realization, the anxiety eased up a bit. It didn't go away completely, but that's expected.

So perhaps there's unattended ideas or beliefs that weed was masking. Think of the anxiety as you body trying to communicate some sort of message. Yeah, it's easier said than done, and it's probably best to let the worst of the feelings pass before trying to learn from I, but do try and find even just a sliver of information from it. And read this book:

Hope and Help for Your Nerves https://www.amazon.com/dp/0451167228/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_y6ORybQV1YP0R

You are very welcome!

If you like reading/Audiobooks - This book was a really good starting place, plenty of science in it, so it's not wishy washy 😂.

The Compassionate Mind (Compassion Focused Therapy) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B002S0KBYU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_TlGCCb7KFWEWP

It's 99p on Kindle format atm.

And this was fun to listen to on Audible -

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0062457713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_noGCCbA3QEVJR

Regardless, you'll get there if that's your intention, just keep doing what your doing 👍

hey this is long, so feel free to take your time reading this, just don't ignore it cause i'm about to suggest something to you that might help your addiction.

first off, i hope you're doing well friend. i may not know you, but i do care. if you're feeling suicidal, i urge you to talk to someone. this is from the reddit suicidewatch faq.

secondly, good on you for throwing away the cigs. if you're having trouble quitting smoking nicotine, i suggest reading the book "Stop Smoking Now" by Allen Carr. if you don't mind reading a pdf version, you can use this, otherwise you can get a copy on amazon for cheap here. the great thing about the book is that it's short, only 100 or so pages.

if you have doubts about quitting through reading a book, trust me, i had the same doubts. you don't even have to quit right away, the book tells you you can smoke as you're reading it. it was incredibly hard for me to go cold turkey, until i came across this book. i tried lots of different things (substitutes like gum, vapes, even more weed) to help me quit, all to no avail. then i picked up allen carr's book, and by the last page i was done smoking. i had no need for another one.

the other great thing about the book is that i believed it helped put me in the right mindset to quit smoking weed. it might not work the same for you, but i highly suggest reading this if you're having trouble with nicotine addiction. if this book doesn't help, then read his other book which is also very helpful, link is here. it's a bit longer, but it goes even more into depth and solidifies the points in his first book.

NOTE: make sure to pay attention to all the points that he makes in his first book, otherwise you might find yourself smoking again, meaning you'll have to pick up the second book. that's what happened to me, but the second book still helped me quit. i thought that i could smoke a cigarette during a night out drinking cause it had been months past since my last one...

everything one step at a time

Just like to say that this book actually changed my life. He provides the ebook (pdf) for free, but I ended up buying a copy for myself and another for my friend on Amazon for around $10 each.

You definitely don't need a book to begin meditating, but if you're looking for an excellent guide and overview, this one worked for me.

Hey, thanks for all your useful info! There's a world of supplements out there. My biggest advice to anyone interested is to research. Check out /r/Supplements/ and /r/nootropics.

Something to keep in mind is that some supplements build a tolerance (like L-Tryptophan and L-Tyrosine), so I found that it worked really well in the beginning and then it started to lose its effect once regularly dosing. Furthermore, I stress research again because trying to manually balance your brain is difficult. If anyone is interested in trying to improve their mood with supplements, I've heard good things about a book called The Mood Cure, so you might want to check it out (I haven't read it).

Personally if my diet, sleep and exercise are in check, I feel fantastic. So I don't really see a need for them and just take a multivitamin. If I'm having a shitty day I might pop some L-Tyrosine. Thanks again man!

I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I can really relate. What helps me is thinking about each day I didn't smoke as a victory, even if I relapsed again (after days, weeks, months clean). I think many of us have had the experience that you describe; and I genuinely do feel like I am getting more capable of making the choice to control my use after all the relapses, even if I haven't cracked the code yet of what makes me keep coming back.

It sounds like you might not have fully cracked the code either: but hating yourself (instead of listening to yourself) only makes it worse, so try to take it easy on you. Positive motivations will help: looking forward to spending more time with your kids, or having your mind clear to pursue a hobby or a good book. Sometimes the negative motivations (like shaming yourself) can make the need to crawl back into the hole seem much more urgent than it actually is.

This book really helped me: maybe try giving it a look?

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520

watch this video on emotional intelligence, and if it seems like something that could be useful to you, id really reccommend getting the book that he references. This has proven a really useful resource for me in trying to get my shit together, and from what i read in your post, it seems like something you could dig. Hope it helps!

What wonderful ideas! Thank you. Origami is a fabulous idea because it's tactile, it's kind of ritualistic, and ritual seems to be something a lot of cannabis users are really into. Also low cost of entry, so I can include enough to get someone started. If they ignore that part of the kit, NBD, if they like it, they can have amazon deliver them a kit for under $20.

Just went on Amazon to check. Looks like a little starter book could be had for $2!
http://www.amazon.com/Fun-Origami-Easy-Do-Papercraft/dp/0486266648/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Wow, that book looks great! The top review on its Amazon page is downright glowing. Thanks for the recommendation!

Haha good one! After my first swim I realised pretty quickly the need for goggles!

My advice, don't scrimp - invest in a nice set a) because you will look the business and b) you'll want to put those things to use if you have spent a bit of cash (that otherwise would have gone up in smoke!)

I picked up a pair of these: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Arena-Unisex-Swimming-Goggles-Jaunerevo/dp/B01J2NZLJA/ref=asc_df_B01J2NZLJA/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310553316695&hvpos=1o12&hvnetw=g&hvrand=903873809902735146&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9046004&hvtargid=pla-561382425507&psc=1&th=1&psc=1

I've been power lifting for a bit over a year and have gotten good results from it. Recently, though, I've come to the realization that I'm getting older and have become very concerned about injuring myself on a lift by tweaking a muscle in my back or something. My football days are long gone and my job isn't very physical, so I traded my powerlifting program for more of an aesthetic one.

I'd recommend you look at the Body Sculpting Bible for Men or the Body Sculpting Bible for Women. There is diet info and workout regimens from beginner to advanced. If you're an experienced lifter you probably won't get a whole lot out of this book, but for a newbie it's a great place to start.

If you don't want to deal with trainers and you have your smartphone on you, you could get on YouTube and watch videos of people performing the lifts and giving advice on form.