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I think this book could help a lot. https://www.amazon.com/Family-Ties-That-Bind-self-help/dp/1770400869/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Family+ties+that+bind&qid=1550577416&s=gateway&sr=8-1 it helps people look at what assumptions they make about issues like communication, showing affection and sex based on family of origin.

I noticed in another comment that you have tried using dirty talk to turn on your wife and she wasn't receptive. This sounds like different expectations about what sex should look like.

You could try asking questions like:

What does she think a healthy sex life looks like?
What has made sex enjoyable for her before?
What would help her desire sex?
What is it about certain things that she finds undesirable?

I don't need answers, but hopefully it can get you talking about it. If she's more conservative then try finding conservative sources that talk about sex in a way that would appeal to her.

Why are you with her? Ask yourself this. If your daughter was in a relationship like this, as an adult, how would you feel about it? Your modeling that for her right now.

This woman is worthless and she treats you like garbage.

She is a spent single mom carrying baby weight. You sound like a man that's wants to be a husband and father.

You have all the value here.

You do so much work and she does nothing.

The person who needs the other the least has all the power in the relationship. You have all the power, you just can't see it.

Check out this book, it's written for men just like you.

https://www.amazon.ca/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8

Good luck man.

"completely shocked as we have not been having issues.". Are you sure he's not seeing someone else? Taking a break is sometimes and easy way to end it.

If he is indeed willing to go to counseling, that's a good sign. What does he say he's upset about?

I'd recommend this book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060520620/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_OUfgzb4QQYYMT
...one of the best marriage books imo

No, Men and Woman have not changed. Our culture is more femine centric now since the sexual revolution in the 60s.

You will hurt your relationship with women if you start doing chores, etc. Women will tell you all this stuff that they want, but then they will leave for a man that does none of those things.

I encourage you to read this book: https://smile.amazon.com/Rational-Male-Rollo-Tomassi-ebook/dp/B00FK901R8/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3I27SJOCSD121&keywords=the+rationale+male+book&qid=1562679204&s=gateway&sprefix=The+rationale+male%2Caps%2C175&sr=8-3

Baiting the kitchen is fine because that's likely where the majority of the infestation is but they should definitely be using a residual throughout the rest of the house.
If you want to take matters into your own hands, there are a few things you can do. First, get some of this https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IEG1FBU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_V49PDbDYH1VD9. Remove everything from all your cabinets, pull the refrigerator away from the wall and clean under and behind it, pull the stove away from the wall and clean under and behind it, and use the 565 in all reachable cracks and crevices. It doesn't take much, 1 or 2 second bursts is fine. I'm talking between the cabinets and the walls, between each cabinet, around the dishwasher, and anywhere else roaches may be hiding. If the refrigerator has cardboard covering the motor, remove the cardboard. Spray 565 around the motor. 565 is a flushing agent, it will kill the roaches but not immediately. The key is to vacuum up any roaches that come running out of the cracks and crevices and any egg sacs or dead roaches you see. Be prepared, if the infestation is bad there will be a lot of roaches. Keep flushing and vacuuming until you don't see any more roaches.
Get some of this https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MYRFAH2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_8f-PDbFW80BF2. Apply BB size drops on each hinge of every cabinet. This will get any nymphs that hatch from egg sacs you may have missed.
Get some of this https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0728JL9SQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_Qk-PDb4QQ2NBM. Using the duster, apply a fine layer underneath the refrigerator and stove and if you want to behind any wall plates.
Of course, eliminating food and water sources if going to help tremendously as well.

Having bipolar disorder is not an excuse to act like a shitty human being. I have bipolar 2 and wouldn't dream of having an affair. I just don't have it in me.

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I will say that bipolar, if left untreated, does often have the ability to make those affected have higher libidos, especially type 1, during manic phases. Does this mean your wife should go out and bang another dude? No. She can masturbate.

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Bipolar is never an excuse to cheat on your partner. Ever. My ex husband had type 1 and used it as a general excuse to get away with just about anything, from drugs to hurting me to cheating on me. Looking back, he was just an all around shitty person.

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You're in a difficult situation with your wife right now. How long has she been on medication and what kind is she on? Note, a bipolar person usually requires both an antidepressant AND a mood stabilizer. Sometimes an antipsychotic. She also needs to be in serious counseling on her own for her own issues.

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It sounds like she has been in an upswing (manic) phase for a while now. I can offer you some resources for her to use:

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https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Workbook-Second-Controlling-Swings/dp/1462520235

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https://www.amazon.com/Disordered-Mind-Unusual-Brains-Ourselves/dp/0374287864/ref=sr_1_14?keywords=bipolar+1+workbook&qid=1557264525&s=books&sr=1-14