Best products from r/ploungeafterdark

If you're looking at around-the-house objects, you're not gonna find what you want. You're not even supposed to use a run of the mill waterproof vibrator up your tailpipe because they're made of hard plastic.

What you're looking for is something soft. Your body moves and squeezes and gives, so you need something small or something with body-safe silicone, preferably both.

Ebay's got plugs for $5 or less, with free shipping. There's really no excuse to not do your dang research and find something for you. Heck, there's places online where you can get all sorts of different toys if you save up for a bit.

And you're going to want lube to go with your new toy. Use a water-based lubricant, because silicone based lubes may interact with your toy and screw it up. Also, you're almost certainly going to want toy covers and cleaner. You can use cheap condoms as toy covers; just pull them over the toy when you're ready to play, have your fun, then peel the cover off and throw it away. Easy.

It's also really easy to try this in the bathtub, as the hot water helps you relax and makes clean up much easier. You'll need to relax and go slow your first time. Don't rush; you'll get there. Listen to your body and don't stress about size at first. Start with something reasonable.

If you try something small, make sure it has a base or a cord so you can't lose it. The same is true with small, egg-shaped vibrators; always get one with a cord instead of the cordless so you can always get it back out. Losing something inside yourself is not a fun trip to the ER. It's mortally embarassing for you, just another aggravating Tuesday night for them.

Back to clean up for a moment. You can usually wash most silicone toys in the dishwasher, but I'm guessing you're young and share your home with your family, so this may not be an option for you. Boiling your toy will kill anything you may get on it, but make sure you use plenty of water. If your toy touches the edge or bottom of the pot, it may melt a bit before you notice. It's not good for the toy or the pot, and here again is a good reason why it's smart to start small.

Now, assuming you order discreetly online and go pretty bargain basement about it, you can order a basic plug, lube, and possibly a lube shooter for about $15 total. If you want to get latex gloves and lube to try fingering with, that's even cheaper.

But if you're really looking for the most amount of bang for your buck, try a Tenga Egg instead. They're usually around $7 or less, you can order them for less on ebay, most sex stores carry them, and they are amazing. They're easy to clean, reusable to a point (they do stretch a bit after a while), and they come with enough lube to get you started. They feel wonderful, and you can masturbate with all of the regular techniques your body is already used to, or you can mix it up a bit and try something new. They're also small and easy to hide. I don't know why parents don't just hand these things out to teenage kids and let them go to town with 'em. Seriously, get a Tenga Egg. Don't shove it up your bum.

So, to recap:

1. Only use soft, forgiving things for anal play.
   
2. Get relaxed and lube well.
   
3. Start with something reasonably sized.
   
4. Relax and take your time.
   
5. Only use water based lube with silicone toys.
   
6. Only use toys that have a wide base or a cord so you can get it back out when you're done.
   
7. Boil your toys or use the dishwasher if you know your toy is dishwasher safe. You can also buy toy cleaner spray.
   
8. Try a Tenga Egg.
   
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   Edit: Hell, you can make your own pocket pussy with two sponges, a rubber glove, a cup, and some rubber bands. There's plenty of tutorials online, and you can get supplies for those at any dollar store. You can even soak it in warm water so the sponges make it feel nice and warm.

My favorite toy of all time (I think I talked about it back when I did those McTurner sextoy reviews) is the Master Series Inseption. It's a super fun to use toy and great for giving some of those old toys new life. I had it for about three months or so then I had to pack up to move to the apartment I'm in now so I just kinda throw all of my toys, after I cleaned them one last good time, into a lock box and put it with the rest of my stuff and kinda forgot about it for a week. Then, when I was feeling like taking care of some things, I unpack my toys only to see that it and like three other toys that I liked were in a puddle in the bottom of my box. I lost like 100 dollars worth of toys.

HA! And after our long discussion all those months ago about how you would never reciprocate sexually! I told you it's a lot of fun!

I recently got this and have found it to be wonderful. It stays in with no problems and it's got some strong vibes. I've got two other butt vibes and this is my favorite.

Also currently waiting on something from Bad-Dragon... Mmmmm..

No lube?! So I haven't tried BD lube (Though I want to), but I have tried J-Lube. J-Lube is pretty good stuff. Mix it yourself to your tastes.

https://www.amazon.com/Jorvet-J0109-J-Lube-Obstetrics-10-Ounce/dp/B006G2S17A

You haven't heard about Five Nights at Freddy's? Wow, you're in for a treat. Here's the demo on amazon, don't worry, it's free.

Seatie praising it some more?

Its damn good for 20 bucks and primeable!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002GHIPYI/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Just over a year ago I did a bunch of research in audiophile subreddits and fourms. These were the best 'budget' headphones that kicked ass. If i remember correctly they were like "Just get these until you are willing to spend $200+. and even then these superlux make some $200 headphones sound like crap"

I don't use them anymore because I ended up getting a wireless headset a few months ago. But my g/f uses them everyday and loves them. They are still holding up well even after a year and half of ownership and abuse.

Not really into panties, but those are nice. I think I may order this and some other stuff...

This one seems perfect for me.

Hey Betty

• This book
  
• That's a silly question... I love it. Seriously though, depends who I'm with. Max of 4-5 though.
  
• One thing I don't know is what that question means.

It's free on KU if you're interested.

In Other News:

I'm gonna be getting this for a friend of mine as soon as I have money.

Looks like it's on Amazon, if that's an option

Idea!

To use your toy like a suction toy, I bet you could take some two sided suction cups and put them on the bottom!

Don't know what to do about your in laws though...

As am I.

This looks just as... interesting.

I've received that book as a joke.

Twice.

It reads seriously. But I've never attempted to cook something from it.

It has a companion bartenders book.