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This is a perfectly reasonable response. I just think our reasoning is heavily differentiated when it comes to bodily autonomy. If a fetus can not survive outside the body of the mother, it is not viable as human life.

The violinist essay to me has put it best in terms of an ethical stance. I would not be in favor of abortion after a time which a fetus could be viable (5 months). Even before that begins to be a bit too far along for me personally. But, there are far too many cases and contexts for any one person to be the arbiter of what is right ethically in each of those cases.

The young woman I knew, I had to counsel through the process, healing, and trauma. If she’d had the child, she would have lost her job as a bartender (yes, I know this is supposedly illegal, but try living in the real world), had few skills to recommend additional employment as she only had an associate’s degree, and would have suffered even more emotionally as a result of having a child she had to give away rather than raise - as a motherless child herself.

In the case of my friend’s miscarriage, the fetus was technically still alive. It was no longer viable for my friend to carry the pregnancy due to the uterine tear, and the fetus was largely not viable / the pregnancy could not continue. So by your standard of care, it would have been an abortion.

I think as a society we tend to underrate women’s pain and autonomy, and we rely on women’s self-sacrifice for care work. I think this colors the lens through which people often view early pregnancy, and there is a systematic bias against women, assuming they should have to perform care / host labor in order to create new life. (Some interesting if tangential work written by Anne-Marie Slaughter and Soraya Chemaly in this regard!)

I simply don’t subscribe to these ethics that treat women as second class humans. And I was raised Catholic. (Read a few Elaine Pagels books and got a degree in religion to undo that).

My arguments are not to try to devalue life. I think most women who become pregnant and don’t wish to be struggle tremendously if they have to terminate. I know I would. But I also think society should look to the care of the woman, financially and emotionally, before the care of potential offspring. We are so quick in American culture to ask women to create children, and then we ask provide no assistance once the child is born. We assume a woman will provide care. That this is what they are for.

In many other cultures, even ones I find sexist in nature, women are given a great deal more care after the birth of the child. In Arab cultures, other women come over and take the child off the mother’s hands so she can rest - for days or weeks at a time. They cook, care for the baby, let the Mother sleep. This example starts to become tangential to my main argument, but I think it shows a real difference in how American culture approaches pregnancy and motherhood. You just have the child, we can’t help you after. It is sexist on its face.

> Katha Pollitt

I was ready to pounce on you, but she seems like the real thing:

http://www.amazon.com/Pro-Reclaiming-Abortion-Katha-Pollitt/dp/0312620543

"Katha Pollitt’s brilliant new book, Pro: Reclaiming Abortion Rights, arrives like an urgent letter as rights are fast eroding….With Pollitt’s characteristic wit and logic, Pro marshals science, history, medicine, religion, statistics and stories of real women’s lives—with all the ‘tangled secret misfortunes’ of families—to make a myth-busting argument that abortion is a social good. It’s good for women. It’s good for children. It’s good for men. It’s a normal fact of life and has been since ancient times. All of which might sound shocking, so rarely do we hear about abortion’s benefits."—Kate Manning, Time

So you could name one.

That said, it's still obvious that (almost) everyone wants a better solution to unwanted pregnancy than abortion.

Reddit probably can't help you relieve your feelings, but there are options out there. If you're able to, please see a counselor/psychiatrist/therapist and discuss your feelings with them. That's awesome that you have the support of your family. Lean into them. They're there for you. Here's some additional online resources:

http://www.afterabortion.com/ Politically neutral space for abortion support. Message boards, chat room and many resources for what they refer to as Post Abortion Stress Syndrome

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Better-After-Abortion-ebook/dp/B00AGXZHEK Free E-Book, post-abortion workbook

https://www.pregnancyoptions.info/emotional&spiritual.htm Another workbook focusing on emotional and spirtual healing after abortion.

Debating anything over social media or text is a no-no. It's very complicated and gets out of hand. In person is always better. I would encourage you to read the book Persuasive Pro-Life by Trent Horn. He is a Catholic Apologist whose book is about talking to people who are prochoice and convincing them that life is valuable, all without even mentioning God or any religion. I cannot recommend it enough and the arguments are the best you will ever read!!

Edit: Link is Here

"how are you anti-abortion and anti-contraception" That's literally, and I don't mean this in a rude way, or saying you are, but a really stupid question.

Artificial contraceptives have been a cancer to our society, if you ever want to read a basic word for word prophesy read Humanae Vitae (Human Life) by JP II. The thing basically reads like a literal prophetic text, almost everything he predicted would come from the "sexual revolution" has come true, probably 500x over.

I'd really encourage you to check these two sources out.

Have Humanae Vitae's bold predictions come true? - Janet Smith
University of Dallas

Why Condoms Aren't the Answer

^ Really good facts you would not expect in that video.

Author: I was ‘blown away’ by Pope Paul VI’s accurate predictions about the sexual revolution

^ This woman wrote a book titled Adam and Eve After the Pill I'd also really recommend that.

Artificial contraceptives are not the answer, they are the problem.

These are some good books that convinced me to go from pro-choice to pro-life. The first two are history books that demonstrate the universality of the pro-life movement as opposed to it often being relegated to being a conservative issue. The latter two are books that address major concerns held by pro-choice people. They're pretty academic and respectful of the other side.

• Defenders of the Unborn by Daniel K. Williams - a history of the pro-life movement before Roe, and its roots in the anti-war and progressive movements. Though it elaborates on the arguments the non-religious used to justify the preservation of the fetus. It's unfortunately a very neglected historiography and this book does a great job of chronicling the motivations driving and influences of the pro-life movement.
  
  
• After Roe by Mary Ziegler - a history of the pro-life movement after Roe.
  
  
• Defending Life by Francis Beckwith - A book with arguments for why abortion is wrong. The arguments are not at all rooted in religion and is accessible to most everyone.
  
  
• The Ethics of Abortion by Christopher Kaczor - Another great apologetics book on the morality of abortion.
  
  
  This Atlantic article article demonstrates how modern medical advances have given the pro-life movement new and important ground.
  
  If you'd like more resources, I'd be more than happy to supply more links to good resources online for pro-life arguments.

None. I don't think you are ever going to change someone's mind arguing online, the only benefits are for onlookers and to help sharpen your own arguments. The real changes are based on relationships, where you are directly interacting with someone who can't pretend you are the ridiculous strawman version of a prolifer they use to justify their positions. And those debate are not won through fiery rhetoric or logic (though the latter can help), but through compassion and love.

If it worked for Norma McCorvey (AKA Jane Roe of Roe v Wade), the literal face of the pro-choice movement, it can work for anyone.

I'm glad this conversation has been kept so civil, it is a rare sight indeed.

Thought I do not guess your affiliation, This book, though written by a priest, lays it out pretty clear in philosophical and scientific terms.

I really love Exhale Pro-Voice's take on things- regardless of your personal feelings on abortion, as a healthcare provider, as a co-worker or boss, as a family member or friend, we should look to validate women who have had abortions or miscarriages, because everybody has a different experience, and there's no one-size-fits-all way to support them.

I recommend everybody- pro-choice and pro-life alike- read Aspen Baker's book Pro-Voice: How to Keep Listening When the World Wants a Fight. No woman should be told she has no reason to cry, just like no woman should be told she's a monster for not feeling sad at all.

Is this a good one? It's reusable an infinite amount of times and just requires a urine sample? Is it very easy to use and understand? I would be so excited if I didn't have to take pills anymore.

I can monitor things regularly if it's simple for me to understand. Or if someone can help me understand

No, the fact that these things are true makes them true.

> Keith L. Moore, The Developing Human: Clinically Oriented Embryology (7th edition, Philadelphia, PA: Saunders, 2003)
>
> A zygote [fertilized egg] is the beginning of a new human being. Human development begins at fertilization, the process during which a male gamete … unites with a female gamete or oocyte … to form a single cell called a zygote. This highly specialized, totipotent cell marks the beginning of each of us as a unique individual.

---

> Before We Are Born: Essentials of Embryology (7th edition, Philadelphia, PA: Saunders, 2008, p. 2):
>
> [The zygote], formed by the union of an oocyte and a sperm, is the beginning of a new human being.

---

> Human Embryology & Teratology (Ronan R. O’Rahilly, Fabiola Muller [New York: Wiley-Liss, 1996], 5-55):
>
> Fertilization is an important landmark because, under ordinary circumstances, a new, genetically distinct human organism is thereby formed[.]

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> T.W. Sadler, Langman’s Medical Embryology (10th edition, Philadelphia, PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2006, p. 11):
>
> Development begins with fertilization, the process by which the male gamete, the sperm, and the femal gamete, the oocyte, unite to give rise to a zygote.

There's more, but I find that going overboard on sourcing something tends to bore people rather than make the point. That an unborn human is a human and is alive is not a matter of philosophy. It is a matter of fact. What you decide with regard to those facts is a matter of philosophy, but the bare claim that unborn humans are humans and alive are facts and are settled.

I am not sure if there is a better source out there, but he did write a book that gives some insight into his legal reasoning that you might find helpful:

"The Tempting of America" Robert Bork

http://www.amazon.com/The-Tempting-America-Robert-Bork/dp/0684843374

I saw this on nytimes.com and thought, oh, this should be good (/s), and then I saw Ross Douthat was the writer. I doubt he's pro-choice.