(Part 2) Best products from r/raisingkids

My son knew all his letters at age 2 as well. At 3 he was reading out street and shop signs, and now at 4 he can read simple books by himself. All we did was read books with him from a young age. He watches about an hour of TV/videos every day, stuff like Pingu or Dora or Thomas or kids' songs on youtube - none of which can be credited with teaching him to read, I think it was just reading with him.

Some of his favorite books (in chronological order):

• Classics like Goodnight Moon and The Very Hungry Caterpillar
  
  
• I See A Monster
  
  
• Funny Face - highly recommended, gave my two-yr-old a simple way to recognize and express his emotions
  
  
• Five Little Monkeys Jump on the Bed and other similar sing-along and/or play-along books, which greatly helped him begin to sight-read words.
  
  
• Catch Me, Catch Me, the first book he learned to read by himself. Simple rhyming text combined with his favorite theme, trains.
  
  
• That Rabbit Belongs to Emily Brown - his latest favorite: great story, great mix of repeating words and new/challenging words without ever going completely over his head.
  
  
  
  I'm a stay-at-home mom so we probably have more time to read with kids than families where both parents work. But even so maybe you can still try: we only read about one book a day on average, so making it a bedtime routine would put two-working-parent kids on the same footing as ours.

My point of view differs from the other comments that I've read in this thread.

I feel a lot of trepidation while reading most of the comments in this thread. I'm afraid that perceiving kids as "manipulative little monsters", or as having "discipline issues" because they resist their parents' attempts to make them go to sleep when they don't want to, will result in damage to the relationships between parents and children.

I hope that you will make a strong effort to understand what's going on for your daughter. What is she feeling when she is resisting bedtime? What does she need that she isn't getting? Is she scared of going to sleep by herself? Does she need to be closer to you to feel safe? You may be able to find out what's going on by talking with her about it, and possibly making some guesses for her to comment on.

You might find it useful try to see yourself in her position. What would you want Daddy to do? What would help you feel that Daddy understands you and wants to make sure your needs are met?

If you are interested in thinking about parenting in this way, then you may find this book useful. It has definitely influenced my thinking.

As a fellow Dad, I wish you the very best.

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and they are absolutely enamored with PJ Masks (streams on Netflix, 12 minute episodes). I'm happy with the amount of screen time they are doing now (1 or 2 half episodes every couple of days depending), but we've been moving it into other areas as well which is fun. We have impromptu PJ Mask dance parties to the theme song on Spotify, we drive the Owl Glider, Cat Car, and the Gekko Mobile around the house, and read all kind of stories in the 5 Minute Stories variant. Its been a great source of imagination for the kids, though they don't appreciate when I change the lyrics to "Night time, is the right time, for bed time!" Haha.

My (3-year old) son likes some traditionally "girly" stuff and has been getting some flack from other kids about it at school. His teacher and my wife and I talked about strategies (his teachers are awesome) and one thing we did was check out a bunch of books about being different.

Two of them pull pretty strong on my heart strings:

Neither

https://www.amazon.com/Neither-Airlie-Anderson/dp/0316547697

Jamie is Jamie

https://www.amazon.com/Jamie-About-Being-Yourself-Playing/dp/1631981390/ref=sr_1_1?crid=31CS9009VZAPK&keywords=jamie+is+jamie&qid=1570198131&s=books&sprefix=jamie+is+%2Cstripbooks%2C137&sr=1-1

They're both great. The drawings (of all sorts of odd hybridized creatures) in Neither are fantastic, as is the story. It is the "younger" book of the two.

But Jamie is Jamie brings me (a reasonably masculine man) almost to tears. It's about a kid (Jamie) that likes doing girly and boy-y stuff, and their classmates like Jamie a lot and have an interesting conversation about whether they are a boy or a girl, then decide they don't care.

But what really makes it special in my mind is that it doesn't end there--it shows how after that, the other kids start playing with whatever they actually want to, regardless of gender norms, and are happier for it.

I think it touches me because I can remember being a kid and having interest in some "girly" things--gymnastics, dress-up, cooking... but never letting myself do those things. I think books like this would have helped me try things I wanted to do but was afraid to, and I hope it is that way for my son.

You can do it! The first few weeks I recall the baby waking every 2 hours or so to eat. It gradually gets longer, and when they sleep for 5+ hours it feels like a miracle! Just remember, it's only a phase, they will learn to sleep through the night, and you guys will quickly learn what works for your little one. The 5 s's worked great for us, especially the swaddle and shushing(white noise), the other ones are side lying/stomach (when you're holding them!), swinging, and sucking. The book "happiest baby on the block, the sleeping edition" was great for me when I was first learning the ropes. I'm 10 months in and ours sleeps 12 hours with 1 feeding before I go to bed, it's a dream come true. You'll get there!

Edit:link to the book I referred to: http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Guide-Great-Sleep/dp/0062113321

I am so sorry this is so hard.

Here is an interesting article called that may help a bit:
"Parenting your strong-willed child".

Which I found when searching for this book: Parenting the Strong Willed Child

I have heard wonderful things about this book - seriously, it's been very helpful to a number of people I know who have intense kids.

EDIT: I've also heard good things about this one: Raising your spirited child

We purchased the EatingWell Healthy in a Hurry cookbook about 3 years ago and it has been a great addition to our routine. There are some great quick and healthy recipes in there. Some take longer than 30min, but most are pretty close. Family favorites include:

• Wok-Seared Chicken Tenders with Asparagus & Pistachios Current Favorite
  
• Almond Crusted Chicken Fingers
  
• Sweet and Sour Tofu
  
• Vietnamese-Style Beef & Noodle Broth
  
• Portobello "Philly Cheese Steak" Sandwich
  
• Warm Quinoa Salad with Edamame & Tarragon
  
• Beer-Battered Tilapia with Mango Salsa
  
  We generally do at least one stir fry (with a Zojirushi rice cooker that cooks the rice before we get home--worth every penny!) every week. We also try to use the crockpot at least once a week, but that usually means you have to cook 2x in one night, but we usually manage after bedtime.
  
  Edit: Just for reference we both work full time and have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. We generally eat out at least once during the weeknights. To limit the complaints, we usually let each kid pick out a dinner (the cookbook has great pictures btw) for the week.

There's no correct answer, of course.

Over time, my wife and I have used combinations of a nanny, grandparents, and day care since my son was two months old, as we both had to return to work for various reasons. In terms of his health and development, we have no complaints: he is thriving. That doesn't mean much, as I'd probably say the exact same thing if my wife were working at home, or if I was. He is in a full-time day care that he loves. There have been plenty of tears along the way, but your husband's view of day care as something out of Dickens is just wrong. He cherishes his little friends, the teachers, and the lessons he gets each day.

For me, an important factor is the total cost to the parent who stays at home. Some people have mentioned depression, etc., but I would focus on career issues. I'm in my 40s. With one exception, the women I know who stayed at home to raise kids are simply erased from the work place. Whatever their level of achievement before --- these are women I know with PhDs, MBAs, etc. --- they never manage to find a full-time job again. The stories (excuses?) are different, but the results are the same, whether they tried in elementary school or later.

The parental choices you make include what your life will be like after the children have come and left the house. If you have an advanced degree, or work in an area that you love, I would urge you to consider full-time or part-time child care. I don't know you, of course, or your field, but your remarks about part-time projects struck me as probably unrealistic. I'm a hiring manager, and the vast majority of the resume I see with side-projects do not lead me to hireable candidates. Many people fool themselves; don't be one of them.

You also mention living in the SF Bay Area. You two should plan out some realistic budgets that go out to school age for your two kids. As you've noted, many of our public schools are simply awful, in part due to the lingering disaster that is Prop 13. You may well have to move or use a local private school.

Finally, I strongly recommend the book The Two-Income Trap, written by now Senator Elizabeth Warren and her daughter. As you may know, Warren is a bankruptcy specialist, and she came about the topic of the book from an unusual angle: she was looking at why couples got into financial straits. The book is too long to summarize, other than to say that every couple needs to look thoughtfully at their real risks and their actual obligations. Genuine love of children is one element of the two-income trap, as the book explains.

Very reasonable and thoughtful, certainly. But is it objectively true? Some people go with a "seems to work for me" mode of thinking, and that's fine, but others, like myself, want to know the hard science and learn the truth about these things.

Simply put, the plural of anecdote is not evidence. While there may be lots of parents who appreciate his advice, there is little to no science supporting his opinions, and quite a bit of conflicting science negating it.

If you're at all interested in said science, I recommend picking up this book: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Reason-Evidence-Based-Approaches-Dilemmas/dp/041541329X

We just finished reading The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane (https://www.amazon.com/Miraculous-Journey-Edward-Tulane/dp/0763680907).

Our daughter had it read to her class (2nd grade), and liked it so much she wanted us to read it as a family. We all liked it so much we read the whole thing in 5 days. There are some sad parts (a little girl dies from an unspecified illness), but it's handled well, and overall it's a great book about a rabbit that starts out completely self absorbed, but learns how to love. There is some challenging vocabulary for a young child.

CSM says 7+:
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/the-miraculous-journey-of-edward-tulane

• Anything by Mo Willems.
  
• Anything by Eric Carle
  
• Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?
  
• Gossie and Friends Books (note: there is another box set that adds "Booboo", which is a great book, but they are too small 4" square books instead of the 6" squares).
  
• Go Dog Go. Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb. Hop on Pop. One fish, Two fish. Pretty much anything in the Dr Seuss early reader series.
  
• Goodnight, Moon.
  
• Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site.
  

This book covers this topic along these lines but in much more detail:

https://www.amazon.com/First-National-Bank-Dad-Foolproof/dp/1416534253/

I've found it to be super useful. The part about paying kids way higher interest because of their time horizon and inexperience is especially important for my kids.

Sorry this got caught in the spam filter. The gyrowheel looks pretty interesting.

We've got an attachable trailer with pedals & 3rd wheel, kinda like this:
http://www.amazon.com/WeeRide-96455-Co-Pilot-Bike-Trailer/dp/B003XNFMLS

I think it is helping my daughter with her desire to ride, because together we can go pretty fast & she can see how much fun that is. Also she can get used to the feeling of balancing on a bike and pedaling while I do most of the work.

The Wet Brush is good, or we have had good success run this one.

Boar Bristle Hair Brush set –... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01D3Y6WFG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Also leave in conditioner is key- honestly I buy a salon one! My five year old has waist length, thick hair so I need all the help I can get.

Do you have Instagram? Check out "takingcarababies". She offers different types of classes that you can pay for, but I have gotten SO much good, free advice just from following her posts.

I also second what people are saying about the blackout curtains and sound machines. I got these for blackout curtains--they are cheap and efficient. You want something that actually blocks all light, which most curtains don't do.

Original Blackout Pleated Paper... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000SDROMG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Seriously though, taking Cara babies. Its a game changer!!

Minecraft, you will have to help him get started.

Jumpstart online, great free or paid

my son loved this:
http://www.amazon.com/Fisher-Price-Fun-2-Learn-Computer-Cool-School/dp/B0015KVW56/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1342796646&sr=8-1&keywords=cool+school
variety of software options to go with it.

I can!

The main book in the article is "What Does a Princess Really Look Like?" and the link is: www.amazon.com/What-Does-Princess-Really-Brave/dp/1945448172

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It comes with a companion coloring book, "The True Colors of a Princess" and that link is www.amazon.com/True-Colors-Princess-Coloring-Book/dp/1945448369