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I get you, man. I was socially anxious for a long time because [I always thought that I would never be able to relate to other people because of how bad I was treated]. You can replace what's in the square brackets for whatever excuse you can come up with, the one you are seeing in there is mine.

It's our responsibility as grown ups to fix our parents' fuck ups, in other words, "our parents educate us but it is our duty to re-educate ourselves to meet our personal needs". No one is forcing you to stay the way you are. You must only live to meet your own expectations because you are stuck with yourself for the rest of your life until you die, it's only you and that little voice telling you that either you are a cool dude or a complete piece of shit. People can and will come and go therefore always make sure you are happy with yourself because that's all you have.

The past is not an excuse to remain stuck with who you are right now because the past should only serve as a point of reference for events that have happened as well as an opportunity to learn from mistakes previously made. How you feel about something isn't an excuse for perpetuating a negative behavior either. Negative feelings/attitudes can have an irrational foundation and these can make us generalize and hate groups of people or things altogether. When you feel something is shit, find something that's good about it and you will then become aware of an exception, continue finding more exceptions and suddenly you'll realize that things are not all black and white, these have shades of shittiness and goodness :D

If you want to take this to a deeper level you can even become aware that experiences or things are neither bad nor good. Things are either in a state that benefit us or not, the average person translates this into good and bad, but reality dictates that we have not much control in our lives because there are too many variables that can affect the outcome of our actions and decisions--therefore our plans either become successful like we planned plus or minus a few different things, or they weren't meant to happen given the unforeseeable variables. Plan for the long term but don't expect things to go right (prepare for the worst, plan for the best comes to mind). Accidents? Not actually bad, they just put your plans on hold, the the only thing you can really do is to wait for your body to heal up. You can train for a marathon and the day before it lose both of your legs, you can plan to buy cereal on the next day and be crushed to death by the cereal shelf HAHA. Unpredictability can seem like a bad thing but it's exactly what can lead us to make new discoveries or to win the lottery, suddenly it doesn't seem so bad, huh? We came into this world without being notified, we will leave without notice as well. You cannot afford to live in the past when the only logical choice is to make the best of what you have right now, this means that the only total control you have can only take place in your own head, do I choose to be angry or content? Being angry takes too much energy, trying to be happy takes too much energy as well, just try to be in balance. Being in balance means avoiding letting feelings of negativity go uncontrolled. Feelings stem from thoughts and thoughts can be stopped with a simple interruption or distraction. Anything after that is contentedness, anything beyond that, depending on how much work you can put into that can become happiness.

Don't be afraid to appear to be different to those who already know you, you know exactly what you are inside even if you claim not to know who you are. You are aware of your innate abilities, you are aware that your body has a preference for certain tastes, kinds of music, humor, or literature. You have been exposed to a lot of stuff, but in the end that stuff that you enjoy is naturally in tune with your body and if you had been raised differently chances are that eventually you would have come to enjoy that same stuff because we have a tendency to enjoy the kinds of things that we can come to recreate ourselves (thanks genes!). Having a good ear, having a good eye, having a good taste for something just means that with little training you could do that stuff yourself. My point is that just because you change something about your image or your personality, like your attitude or your clothes, it won't change who you really are, it will only change the way you interact with people and appear to the rest of the world. You aren't sacrificing anything, maybe a little part of your comfort while you are making a new change, but the fact is that there cannot be positive change without challenging ourselves. Are you afraid of something? Do it, expose yourself to it. We live in a world with human problems created by humans, for humans, there's nothing you can't deal with. You can adapt to all this crappy shit and overcome your fears if you ignore that voice in your head and accept that the great majority of your fears have no rational foundation.

Small talk is meaningless, it's only a way to bond with people, it's used to create trust by becoming predictable. Having beers or a smoke with someone in itself is meaningless, again it's the social meaning behind it that matters, when you drink with someone, or accept food from somebody you are telling them that you trust them. Alcohol in moderation is good, it relaxes you, alcohol in excess can be a lot of fun in safe environments, the same goes for drugs. Don't limit yourself to going to bars only, any place is a good place to meet new people if you know exactly what you want from them and have a brief idea of who they could be based on their looks, body language, possessions, etc. I did mention that people behave differently in different settings, but people are still people and you can play with them and make them behave differently whenever you want. Situations can only be bad if there's a good chance for them to get in the way of your goals. Could doing this drug totally fuck me up? Could jumping from this height fuck up my legs or spine? If jumping from planes is your thing and it makes you happy, by all means do it, you could probably die, but guess what? you'll die doing something you enjoyed--this is way much better than dying from a stroke while fapping as part of your 30-year-long daily routine. Set your priorities straight.

Prioritize the most important stuff in your life for the first half of the day, and be open to invitations and new stuff during the other half (or at least after work). Meeting new people will open you a door to a whole new world of opportunities. Hanging out with people might seem like a great fucking burden right now but the thing is, if you choose the right kind of people it will be just like being by yourself with extra bonuses. Turns out some dude you met has absolutely no respect for you? Cut him out of your life, end of story. Learn to say NO, people cannot guilt you into doing something you don't want if you are honest with yourself and know exactly what's good for you. There's compromising and then there's letting others take advantage of you. Be proactive, don't be a follower because followers don't get to choose, become good at something and you will attract like-minded people. Let your self-esteem be dependent on yourself and not on others because ultimately you are on your own.

You should definitely read this, I even read it myself when I thought I didn't need it and benefited greatly from it. You should definitely check out other books on body language, speech, and relationships. I can assure you that books on these last three subjects will change how you view and interact with people, demonoid and lots of file hosts abound with that stuff.

These are the resources that helped me:

After Psychotherapy -- Blog run by a psychotherapist. I particularly like his theory that the source of all mental illness is hiding shame. Find your shame and accept it. I haven't found an instance that debunks this theory.

Why do I do that? -- Book written by the same author as the blog above. Again, his insights are very helpful. I really enjoyed this book to help me understand other people so I wouldn't get angry at them. My issue is abandonment, so when someone does something to trigger it I A) know it's just a trigger, and B) know it has nothing to do with me personally because of whatever issue that person has. I haven't read any of his other books, but I would guess they would be helpful, too.

Attached -- Details of attachment theory. I personally don't like attachment theory too much, but my boyfriend thought this book was wonderful and that it helped him understand things better. My psychiatrist gave him this book after I brought him in for a group session. A lot of people believe in attachment theory, so I'd recommend reading it.

Jungian Psychotherapy -- I believe in jungian psychotherapy instead of CBT. How I view it, psychotherapy uncovers and heals your hidden shame, while CBT helps you to better cover it up. If you have serious problems, I just don't think CBT is going to work.

Now, the rest are more about borderline personality disorder, which I believe I have. If you have emotions that you feel just aren't regulated and keep bursting out, then you will likely benefit from looking at BPD resources.

Understanding the Borderline Mother -- This book changed my life. I got the book because of my mother, and after reading this realized I have BPD, too. I'm the hermit, based on her classification, and I'm even dating a huntsman! I had to keep putting it down as it blew my mind and made my world, my family, my past make so much more sense.

Putting the Pieces Together -- The author's account of working through recovery, what helped her along with details of BPD itself.

Books authored by Marsha M. Linehan -- She has BPD herself and is a psychiatrist, so she has intimate understanding in what the problems are and how to best fix them. She invented DBT.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook -- DBT is a type of therapy that focuses on emotion regulation skills. I actually haven't read this book -- I started doing so well, working on my mental health got lowered in priority. But, it's well recommended and could be very helpful.

I was in therapy on and off for 14 years. It wasn't until I started doing my own research into psychology and read all of the above that I finally started making huge strides in progress. I'm now pretty stable.

The body tries to protect itself by hiding things even from you. It make take awhile to widdle down those defenses so that you can self analyse thoroughly enough. Reread things and you may find you'll find "new" stuff.

It's a lot of work, but well worth it.

I would suggest buying some studio monitor headphones with 80 ohms and then getting a headphone amplifier to make them as loud as you need them to be but not loud to the point where there make your ears bleed. Not sure what your price range is buy these Beyerdynamic headphones where $200 bucks I have and they are absolutely wonderful pieces of technology and the best headphones I have ever used in my entire life.

This is what I have and use:

Headphones:

https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/DT250--beyerdynamic-dt-250-80-ohm-closed-back-broadcast-and-studio-headphones?mrkgcl=28&mrkgadid=3248788792&rkg_id=0&product_id=DT250&campaigntype=shopping&campaign=aaShopping%20-%20Core%20-%20Studio%20&%20Recording&adgroup=Studio%20&%20Recording%20-%20Studio%20Monitors&placement=google&adpos=1o1&creative=213185928374&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvvHGof-O3gIVrrSzCh0_DgFSEAkYASABEgJqY_D_BwE

This is also a very good alternative as well if you want to spend under $100 bucks,

https://www.amazon.com/Sony-MDR7506-Professional-Diaphragm-Headphone/dp/B000AJIF4E

(hey they look bland but these headphones are the industry standard for professionail audio positions and are sound almost just as good!)

Using a Headphone amplifier will greatly boost the signal of headphones as well please do not underestimate the importance of a headphone amplifier when using these types of headphones because they describe entirely the solution to your problem you are having.

TLDR: You need to buy a headphone amplifier and or studio monitor headphones. (imho studio monitor headphones are the best because it gives you a clear and flat signal that can be used easily with a headphone amp with a built in EQ)

You can do this for under 200 bucks but my setup is 350+

I am the invert of you (large bottom, small boobs)

Things that fit up top seem like they'd fit a toddler for the bottoms. Give SwimSuits for All a look, they have some decent things. This suit I bought and it's lovely. Has lots of room in the "cups" and it was stretchy with a small liner so nothing sticks through. Give Amazon a shot. If you or someone you know has Prime, order a few, try them on, and return them for free. Now, I have no idea your body shape, but if you're trying to find thing for larger cup sizes, try throwing in a "Plus" keyword into your searches, often times you find more modest things. Even if you're not a "plus" size lady, try hitting up Lane Bryant or Torrid, they carry swimtops in the larger cup sizes and generally they look pretty cute. Worse comes to worse you'll find a nice top with bottoms that are a bit big but that you could potentially mix and match with. Also, swimdresses are a godsend when it comes to modesty and sometimes you can find really adorable ones that are fashionable. Lastly, coverups are a great way to feel modest and comfortable if you're just lounging around on the beach and not actively swimming.

P1:

>nope - don't care about the feelings of the crappy parents. i care about the wellbeing of the children they're foolishly sending into harms way.

So then what are the options for a parent trapped in bad area, impoverished and with little hope for getting better for their children? You like to disagree with bits and pieces of what I'm saying and disregard the stuff you don't feel like thinking about. Go back and read what I said, don't just gloss over it for parts you think you can respond to. I specifically mentioned that the parents I an referring to have little to no choice in sending their kids away, it's the best they CAN do in some cases and if you don't respect that you have no right to speak to what kinds of parents they are.

>in that SPECIFIC instance, he's correct - but not correct in how he chose to interpret and act on it. equality is an illusion - every person is greater in some things, lesser in others. some people have beauty, some have brains, some have money, and some have influence. people at the bottom of the barrel typically have none of the above, and so have to rely instead on hard work.

No, he isn't correct though and neither are you. The Nazi ideology you've chosen to adopt here is rooted in a presumption about the natural state of things that has no basis in science. Yes humans are naturally competitive, but we are also biologically and naturally communal and you can find examples of that in nature now. There's nothing to suggest we cannot be entirely communal and equal in all things of material substance. Sure not everyone is "beautiful" as you say but that depends on the person you're talking to. In some cultures fat is seen as ugly whilst in others it's seen as beautiful. Actually I recommend the ethnography called Feeding Desire by Rebecca Popenoe if you want to learn more about this dynamic in the Saharan people Azawagh Arabs.

Equality is not an illusion, some anthropological work shows the existence of "aggressively egalitarian" societies. It's not only possible, it's a total reality and had happened all over the planet. What you believe about the sort of neo-Darwinian animal nature of people or their basic qualities is all entirely subjective and rooted in YOUR historical education, which was created by people like you who didn't fully understand the depth and complexity of different human cultures. There are differences but the adjectives you mentioned "greater" "lesser" "beauty" "brains" "influence" those are all entirely subjective to the people who are subject to this person. Money isn't subjective, but as we've discussed money is given by opportunity and is thus not something that describes a type of person but a state of being.

Hard work is not all there is to making opportunities for ones self, it just isn't. I can give you a plain example, New York Firefighters and EMTS and Officers until just recently were fighting for years for basic health care costs for the damages of 9/11. Now you tell me who works harder and is more dedicated to their job than first responders? You want to tell me why it took a social media crusade by one of the most popular late night comedians and thousands of people reaching out in advocacy for them before congress got their ass into gear and stepped up to help them? You wanna tell me why we need social media blowhorns to get people to pay attention to basic needs of the people? It's because people sit back and pretend everyone else just isn't working "hard enough" to get the lucky break they need. Nah, not the case.

We live in a country where it is impossible for some people to get ahead, even if they work their fingers to the bones, even if they die doing their job their families have to fight medical bills and tax collectors. That's so unamerican in nature it makes me physically sick. Don't talk to me about hard work, just because it may have worked out for you doesn't mean everyone else has it that way and you need to start opening your horizons a little bit and start examining the world around you or it will leave you behind.

>if you map out averages of ability across races, you'll see commonalities emerge. modern politics has forced the scientific community to surpress these studies, because it doesn't mesh with the thinking of the politically correct - but its THERE.

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Well that's just real convenient for you, your evidence exists but you can't show it to me cause the government suppresses it. Maybe the science you are referring to is just wrong, but I don't think you would have considered that because it doesn't mesh with your thinking does it? I'm not even asking you to conclude that it's wrong, I just want to see the sources you're using to reach this conclusion. Anything, a newspaper clipping, some kind of verifiable piece of evidence to show you're not just assuming that something you read about or heard once is true and that's what you've believed for the last forty years. Show me what's "there" and I can't promise not to rip to shreds, but I'll look at it.

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>shitler was wrong in using his power to try to exterminate what HE saw as lesser races. wrong in assuming they were lesser, wrong in trying to exterminate them.
>
>in todays society, we've gone the equally wrong direction of "dumbing down" everything to the lowest common denominator - removing the drive from any child to develop exceptional talent. which is deeply disturbing and sad :(

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I don't know who you're referring to. We still have Ivy League schools and a capitalist republic democracy, the only thing that's changed is those really smart children went on to realize the dumb ideas of the past were really symptomatic of a poor understanding of diversity. You should read "Ender's Game" it actually does a really good job in showing what it means to be in a team, and how different individuals, because of their differences make up for each other's shortcomings and that is what makes us better than a homogeneous population that would see a class of the "intelligent" and a class of the "underlings" no, that's not what matters. In some cases genius a nourished, in some it's revealed, in some cases genius is discovered long after a person has died. Human progress and the march towards Nietzsche's ubermensch is not a path of homogeneity or class dialogue, it's a path of endless diversity and modulation and specializations but also adaptations to new challenges and that requires the preservation of diversity.

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>instead we should return to separating out individuals by ability (regardless of race) and let each group focus on what they test best at. raise a group of super science brains. another of mental librarians. several groups of super athletes. PUSH them into being amazing :) and let them lead our future by inspiring others to what the pinnacle of humanity CAN be...

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Again, it seems like we agree on the direction and that's what diversity does by compensating for society's poorly placed institutional biases. There are no racial differences, and there is no one keeping everyone special, that's such a poor stereotype of what it means to be liberal. Liberalism is not about denying people who are gifted opportunities, it's about making sure the landscape in which gifted individuals find themselves is so level that they ALL have a REAL opportunity to achieve success. Sometimes genius is discovered and sometimes it needs a little push, sometimes great people are born and never see the inside of a book because of fascist and backwards social policies. We aren't pushing too far into the realm of homogeneity, we're discovering a new tactic for the embellishment of our future leaders. It's called equality, and it's the bees knees.

That's sounds a lot like having depression too which is a huge beast in and of itself. Deal with that myself too and it's a struggle to just be motivated to really even get out of bed. So I feel for the family friend.

I use Exercise Bands to help me drop weight. It can be done while sitting down comfortably and there are loads of exercise videos on YouTube (and DVDs) that show seated position workouts for folks like him and me.

Might also be wise to try finding other things that also interest him instead of feeling the need to eat to fill in the gaps. I know it's super tempting to just chow down on something, because it's easy and it's something to do that can be done easily for enjoyment.

Damn, that is very hard to deal with. I'm glad you made this post though, because it's important to vent, and look for solutions.

This is a good opportunity to perhaps invest this emotion into something greater that will help you overcome any feelings of insecurity you have that end up becoming apparent in your relationships even when you don't realize it. You mentioned gaining weight? Perhaps join a fitness club, start adjusting some lifestyle habits. r/fitness has some great resources, you'll be surprised how many of those folks started because of something like this in their lives. If you feel like there's something wrong with the women you're attracted to, I like this guy's book (also this article might be more related). The book kind of comes off as one those PUA things but it has some really valuable lessons on vulnerability, and the stem causes of manipulative behavior.

Just find an interest that you can dedicate time to and never forget that time is the best healer. The line is so fucking cliche but it is very real. Things feel shit now, and it isn't easy. But give yourself time to think things over, and allow yourself to be mad because that shit does not sound fun. But don't just stop trying to make yourself better. Good luck dude.

To perfectly understand the Sunni/Shia split takes a good amount of time and understanding of the political situation of the Arabian peninsula and Levant in the 7th century. However, I recently read a book that I think does a great job, doing it in a way that is easy to read and understand. The book is called After the Prophet, by Lesley Hazelton. I suggest you pick it up and read it if you are really interested.

Now for a quick summary, which in no way does the topic justice. The split boils down to a disagreement about how the Islamic community (Ummah) was to be led after the death of Muhammad. Sunnis contend that the leaders after the Prophet would be selected from among the elders of the community by the elders themselves. This resulted in the establishment of the Caliphate. The Shia believed the Muhammad's first cousin/son-in-law named Ali was the true successor. They viewed the Caliphs as illegitimate and not the true spiritual leaders of the community.

Eventually Ali became the fourth in line of Caliphs and leader of the community. However Ali was opposed by Muawiyyah, a man who was the son of one of the biggest opponents of Islam early on (this opponent eventually converted to Islam.) Muawiyyah and Ali fought in a civil war and eventually came to peace with each other. However, Ali was assassinated (by fanatics who did not agree with Ali making peace with Muawiyyah) and Muawiyyah's son Yazid eventually orders the killing of Ali's son, Muhammad's grandson, named Husyan. Muawiyyah goes on to establish what is known as the Ummayyad Caliphate which leads the majority of the Islamic world for a long time.

So what this boils down to is the Sunnis view Shi'ites as these misguided people who put way too much emphasis on the family of the Prophet as leaders. They believe that their Caliphate represents the true leadership of the Islamic world. On the other hand Shi'ites view the Sunnis as people who follow merely political leaders with no spiritual ties to the Prophet and that the Caliphate is a sham position that is far too often held by people who are corrupt.

You mentioned that the Shia are more open-minded, well I am not sure we can say that as a general rule. They are more open to US support because Iraq was a majority Shia country ruled by the Sunnis for decades, so in that sense they are more than happy to take our weapons and support fighting Sunnis.

Basic cooking is craftsmanship. A pro only needs a hunting knife and a kettle but I recommend you to buy a book, it's easier to work with in the beginning than scrolling through a website while the cooking water overflows. Here is an example. The book has step-by-step pictures for every recipe

Anyways, here is an easy recipe for a basic tomato sauce:

1 onion

1 garlic glove

2 red chili

2 tomatoes (optional)

1 tbsp (tablespoon) olive oil

3 tbsp tomato mark

2 tbsp balsamic vinegar

2 cans of tomato

1/2 cup instant broth

2 pinches of sugar

1 pound spaghetti

parmigiano

(basic stuff you'll need for many recipes and it's easily stored)

1. Take a sharp knife and cut the chili lengthwise in thin slices. The green stuff and the seeds are not needed. Give them to your cat or throw them away but don't touch your eyes. It will hurt.
   
   
2. Dice the onions and the garlic glove. I hope you don't need an explanation for that, but if you do take a look here: http://youtu.be/WW4r5GW-e7M
   
   
3. Take a pot or pan and heat up the oil over a middle flame. When you feel the heat (or use a droplet of water: when it crackles you're good to go), throw in the chili, garlic and the onion. Go to the next step when the onion turned translucent (it looks like glass then, - but it's not a brownish glass yet).
   
   
4. Stir in the tomato mark until every spot in the pot knows what's coming to it and deglaze the mixture with 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar (basically you just throw it in to lower the temperatur real quick but deglazing sounds cooler)
   
   
5. You've almost made it. Pour in the content tomato cans, the broth and the sugar and make sure it doesn't boil to much. 5 bubbles every 1/2 minutes are enough. Season the sauce the salt and pepper. Start with half a spoon and add another pinch until you're satisfied.
   
   
6. Cook the noodles
   
   
7. (optional) Cut the 2 tomatoes into small dices (cut in half and scoop out the giblet)

You just gotta know what you're buying. and spend some time on GSMArena comparing phone specs. Learn what RAM is. What SNAPDRAGON 625 vs 855 is, etc. etc. I bought 2 of these Motorolla Power G7 (the international 64GB model) from Amazon for $200 each. The phone, the case, and a screen protector and shipping all came out to like $214.

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They're literally almost as good as Samsung Galaxies, and have the same camera as the Galaxy S9 (my current phone) that I paid $900 for. It comes with Android 9 and has a 5k mAh battery which is ranked in the top 5 for battery life. A key difference is that the Motorolla phone has snapdragon 625 vs the 855 model that the S9 has, but you're getting an amazing phone for $700 less.

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THAT PHONE IS AMAZING. Here's the Amazon link for the one I purchased for my brother and dad. They both got the purple one.

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https://www.amazon.com/Motorola-Unlocked-Smartphone-International-Model/dp/B07QC3FF3Q/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Motorola%2BMoto%2BG7%2BPower&qid=1568297204&sr=8-3&th=1

Ok, ladies, time for me to promote one of my very favorite inventions: the P-STYLE!! Carry one of these with you in a plastic baggie and you'll never have to worry about sitting down to pee again. It's truly a miracle product. You can pee standing up, any where at all, and just rinse it off when you're done. I love mine. I wish I'd invented it. There are a bunch of different types of these things our there, and I tested several, but this is the one I fell in love with.

With all this said i want to go back tonight and look what led Stroud was drinking in the Amazon, some black derived liquid from some tree . I gotta find it on survivorman lol he said it's very good for heart haha.

You probably want something like this.

I was gonna link you pure curcumin at bulk supplements.com and grapeseed extract and black pepper extract (very dangerous be careful) on amazon.

You want this though

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K8QLGHN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_clg5CbYW15VDE

You can take up to 7g vitamin c in this way without diarrhea

Yes, it is. I'd go with the RGB Scart route then output to HD. That's the best way to get a great OEM picture.

Scart Hdmi to Hdmi Video Converter Box 1080p Scaler 3.5mm Co https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MUNIVRO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_KfzuzbMRK4ZT7

Look at this on eBay http://www.ebay.com/itm/172726306454

It may be expensive, but it's better than cutting up your game console. But I'm​ not telling you what you should do with your thing. It's your choice, but with the amount of Genesis/Mega Drives that were sold, the supply is dwindling. It's better safe than sorry.

On a PC?
For future reference: Rule of 3 regarding data.

1. 1st backup. On a Passport or similar 2.5" drive. Label it. Think of it as a working HD for your data. Connected to your PC only when working with applicable data. When not, turn it off or disconnect. If needed, this one can go with you but should be password protected.
   
2. 2nd backup. Same copy on another 2.5" drive. Updated any time your first is updated. Why? What happens when your 1st one gets f'd up? This one is in your room, maybe in an antistatic bag with its cords. Doesn't leave your home.
   If the 1st one fails and you lose it, this becomes your 1st and you buy another one to replace the 2nd.
   
3. Final original: This one is preferably kept off-site. Bank lockbox for example. Should your home get destroyed and you lose your PC and one or both backups you have a 3rd that is safe elsewhere. Should be backed up at least 2x a month.
   If you must move a file onto your PC that's fine, but when done, save and move it back onto your 1st backup. If applicable rename it with a date so you have various copies of a file for whatever reasons.
   This might help as well. One of the highest-rated most durable USB sticks:
   
   https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B077N5XR82/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. They are cheap and a godsend. I bought this one a month ago and I can't imagine how I've lived so long without one.https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JG2DETM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

hope this helps!

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https://www.amazon.com/HASKO-accessories-Stainless-Bathroom-Rustproof/dp/B0746XTSHC?keywords=suction+cup+shower+basket&qid=1537811713&sr=8-6&ref=sr_1_6