(Part 4) Best products from r/seduction

>I have decided that there is no use just being on the sideline and complaining about all the 'Chads' get the girls so easily.

Fuck ya. The "chads" are guys like you who just decide to take action and responsibility.

Based on how you described yourself, I already have a bunch of advice I could give you for general development. I'll finish with that but address some of your specifics first.

>Bystanders might think that I am a creep, and call the police on me. Even if they don't call the police, they might still judge me for my actions.

If you approach women in a dangerous, manipulative, or frightening way, sure. I'd happily call the police if I were witnessing a girl being sexually assaulted. Fortunately for you, this doesn't sound like your goal. If what you want to learn is how to boldly and honestly meet interesting women, nobody is going to call the police or label you a creep. Their judgments mean nothing, and once you get good at this, their judgments are usually formed out of respect or jealousy more than anything else.

>Her boyfriend might show up, and beat me up in rage.

If you simply introduce yourself to a girl and honestly express your interest, her boyfriend would have to be a fucking agro psychopath to beat you up over that. People say "hello" to other people all the time and it usually doesn't end in a fistfight unless you're hitting on some frat bro's girlfriend in the middle of his house during a kegstand.

>She might make fun of me, and she just so happens to be friends with people that I know.

I understand where you're coming from, but this is nonsense. Once again, especially once you get good at this, being able to boldly and honestly approach women will get you more respect than anything. This only tarnishes your reputation if you try to hurt people or manipulate them. Even when you start out and don't have a fucking clue what you're doing, the worst that will happen is some girl will think for maybe a few minutes about how you approached her, then forget about it and go on with her day. You still come out with a victory, because you'll be practicing and learning, and ultimately the "loss" doesn't mean anything at all.

>She might not reject me, and I wouldn't know what to do when that happens.

A great concern to have and this is the most fun to work on. We'll get there.

To summarize why you shouldn't have these worries: virtually all of the negative consequences are either wildly unrealistic or entirely imaginary. This understanding will be solidified through experience. On to point 2.

>There is a lot of debate of whether looks matter or not

There's not. They do matter, but some debate how much and in what capacity.

>This nose is the biggest thing that brings my confidence down.

I won't lie man, that really sucks. The thing is, and this translates to all manner of things, you shouldn't worry about it for another moment if you can't change it (until you get the surgery). Until you can do something about it, you should only be focusing on the rest of your appearance in regards to what you can control. Your worries about your mouth and eye symmetry are a bit silly. Trust me, they don't mean as much as you think. Like I said, you can't do anything about it, so it's time to stop worrying about it.

>What can I do to improve my looks?

Lucky for you, us guys have it much easier than girls. Your foundation will be good exercise/diet to get your body in order, a wardrobe of stylish and most importantly well-fitting clothing, and good hygiene/personal care (i.e. good haircut, clean body, etc). There are entire posts on all of these subjects and we can get more specific as necessary.

>How do I improve my confidence?

This is the simplest but also the most difficult part of the journey. No matter what the marketers try to tell you, there is no magic bullet for confidence, and it's not some kind of aura that you get before you start your development.

Confidence comes from Competence.

I always explain it like this. When you first got your permit (or license, or whatever you need to start driving where you live), you were likely not confident with your driving skills at all. Trying to "get confident" before actually getting in the car simply doesn't work. You had to get in the car, which probably made you anxious, you had to drive it around, which was probably nerve-wracking, you probably did a bunch of things wrong, and you likely sucked at driving for some time. Even still, you continued to drive, learn, and practice. A year or two down the road, you became confident in your driving ability. You can now get in a car without immediately fearing death or worrying about the laws and rules and where the controls are, and you know without much worry at all that you can get yourself from point A to B.

I could use similar examples for learning sports, instruments, whatever. I hope you get the idea.

Confidence is earned through consistent practice. If you want to be confident in your appearance, you need to put some work into your health/fitness, wardrobe, and body language. If you want to feel confident in your ability to approach girls that you've never met, you need to practice approaching girls you've never met. If you want to feel confident in bed, you'll need to get laid.

Hope this is a good jumping-off point. I really despise the /r/ForeverAlone and /r/Incels communities for their relentless bullshit and I love helping people escape those groups.

I'm happy to get more specific with anything, so let me know if you want me to continue with something in particular.

Here's some other material to get you started that I very highly recommend you check out:

• [The Alabaster Girl] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KCWX6DY/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) by Zan Perrion. This book might illuminate your mindset and help you see beyond a lot of the poisonous bullshit that is said about women in the subs you're coming from. Women and your interactions with them can be fucking amazing once you get some experience and some new mindsets and this book will help you understand this.
  
  
• Both of [Mark Manson's] (https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Manson/e/B00BIJOMOC/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1494696182&sr=1-1) books are fantastic and must-reads. His entire [website] (https://markmanson.net/) is excellent as well and the articles make great reads/listens during smaller bits of free time.
  
  
• [How to Win Friends and Influence People] (https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People-ebook/dp/B01N5FH4OK/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1494696331&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+win+friends+and+influence+people) is essentially the holy grail of books on social interaction. It's not geared towards female relationships, but it will help with your general social anxiety.
  
  
• James Marshall's speeches from the 21 Convention, like [this one] (https://youtu.be/33rsHCWgISI), are all superb and great for listening while doing chores/cooking/etc.
  
  There's plenty more you can get into, but what's more important than the material is starting to actually work on yourself. Lots of beginners get so bogged-down in readings and even in the subs that they don't actually put any work into their development, so don't forget to start the processes.
  
  

I am obsessed. Here is my current collection:

Most of these you can find on thepiratebay / etc, but I own a hard copy of all of these except for The Mystery Method, which I read probably 5 times before I found Magic Bullets (actually don't own that either, just the pdf). I'll add to this list if I think of more.

Must Reads:

Magic Bullets - Savoy ==>> [Torrent] it's expensive!

• This book is so excellent. It's like a PUA encyclopedia. It walks you through the process, and cites every major text along the way.. none of this "my way works best" crap, but not afraid to make judgments either. For pickup books that employ some form of the M3 Model (however loosely.. which I think means: everyone except Ross Jeffries), this is the authoritative text. If you have an approach that is proven, important, and credible, then it is probably cited in this book.
  
  Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion - Robert Cialdini
  
  
• I got this book because it is #1 on this list. Turns out, it is the modern version of Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends and Influence People (see review below).. only this time, it's by someone who knows a thing or two about applied psychology (which either didn't exist back then, or was too under-developed to matter). This guy freaking went undercover as a used car salesman, working with fundraisers, etc. Interestingly enough, I bought this book in the same order as The Game, and in chapter 1 Strauss mentions reading Cialdini's book to prepare for a trip to Belgrade with Mystery, which was his formal introduction into the PUA community.
  
  The Art of Seduction - Robert Greene
  
  
• I'm not done with this one yet, but I will say this: if you have a conscience, don't read this. It really is a fascinating study of seduction, but it does focus on seduction as a tool to victimize people.. That said, unlike your typical pick-up type book which does not bother to categorize gamers' personality types, this book categorizes different "types" of seducers. This is extremely helpful because you can figure out what type of seducer fits you best, and what things you need to focus on to improve your game.
  
  How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie
  
  
• This book has sold over 15 million copies. It was originally written in 1937, but has been revised once or twice since it became the best selling self-help type book of all time, which it probably still is. He walks you through the basic principles of how to motivate people.. what works, what doesn't.. etc. Fun, easy, captivating read. It looks thick, but I think I unintentionally read it cover to cover in one sitting the first time I read it in college.. so it's a quick read.
  
  
  Should reads:
  
  The Game - Neil Strauss
  
  
• I think this is one of the best selling pick-up type books. I liked reading it, but it was less of a tutorial book and more of an autobiography.. it does get the job done though. It also is a very entertaining read, and if you doubt that PUA stuff actually works, this will prove to you otherwise because Strauss was a very timid and ugly mofo, but he fucked Jenna Jameson.
  
  The Mystery Method : How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed - Mystery, Chris Odom, Neil Strauss
  
  
• This introduced me into the world of PUA my senior year of college when I inadvertently stumbled upon a torrent of it (I was probably looking for something to jerk off to. How poetic). I downloaded it just to skim through it skeptically, but this book eventually introduced me to a whole new world. This is an excellent staple / beginner's text, even though I now recommend Magic Bullets because it is so much more objective and inclusive of alternate styles and approaches along the way.
  
  How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed - Ross Jeffries
  
  
• Not done with this yet, but Ross Jeffries is a freak (not meant to be insulting to him). I have no doubt that his methods are effective, but they are very different. And he really seems a bit evil, as opposed to merely mischievous like most other PUAs are. I haven't decided how incompatible, if not just different, his methods are with the Mystery / Strauss crowd.. but then again, I have never field tested any of his methods myself.
  
  Truth in Comedy: The Manual of Improvisation - Charna Halpern, Del Close, Kim Johnson
  
  
• A close friend of mine who studied improv in New York lent me this, and I forgot about it until recently -- but it is a very short but brilliant book about comedy. I'm listening now to David DeAngelo's Cock Comedy series, and I realized that almost everything he's saying is straight out of this little text. It's not really something essential for pick-up, which is why I wouldn't put it in Must Reads, but it is excellent nonetheless.
  
  
  Meh, they're alright:
  
  The Pickup Artist: The New and Improved Art of Seduction - Mystery, Neil Strauss
  
  
• You can definitely get some good stuff out of this book, but the whole thing comes across as an excuse for Mystery to brag about how awesome he is. He seriously spends an entire chapter (maybe more) telling a story about him bragging to other PUAs. He does deserve it though, the man is the single most influential PUA ever, if not the most successful in the field.
  
  Rules of the Game - Neil Strauss
  
  
• This is one of those books that you read once a day for 30 days, and write down statements of intent right in the book like "it is my goal to lose my virginity before my next birthday in 3 months." Probably good for beginners, but I skimmed through this after having been gaming in the field for several months.
  
  Haven't read yet:
  
  What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People - Joe Navarro, Marvin Karlins
  
  
• This looks really good.
  
  NLP: The New Technology of Achievement - NLP Comprehensive
  
  Easy Mind-Reading Tricks - Robert Mandelberg, Ferruccio Sardella
  
  Palm Reading for Beginners: Find Your Future in the Palm of Your Hand (For Beginners (Llewellyn's)) - Richard Webster
  
  There are also some good videos out there (links are to torrents. these are all several hundred $$):
  
  
  Excellent Videos
  
  The Annihilation Method - Neil Strauss
  
  
• I met a guy who said he was looking around his apartment for things to sell so he could afford the $375 this costs. apparently he didn't think to check thepiratebay ;)
  
  Mystery and Style
  
  
• The videos of Mystery in here are just excellent. It's very interesting to see Mystery actually interacting with other people (not in a set), since he is the god of pick-up.
  
  Decent Videos
  
  Psychic Influence - Ross Jeffries
  
  
• This is interesting.. I'm not much of a Jeffries guy though, mostly because he's the most oddball of the group, and I haven't studied his material enough.

Try this one:
https://www.amazon.ca/You-Are-Not-Your-Brain/dp/1583334831

It helped me a lot, and at the same time I was starting to use Headspace, an app to learn mindfulness meditation.


One good trick I did: AudioBooks while training. I train for marathon so that means I have a lot of time to listen to those kind of things, might as well use this time to grow!

I've seen "Influence" recommended by someone else, it is a great book also! A lot of book on influence, selling tactics and the ilk are really good, as long as they are used in the right way; It’s not meant to “manipulate” someone into something, but for you to put yourself in the shoes of the “potential client”, understand her needs and try to fulfil them. It’s all about getting a win-win for everyone (sometimes, a win-win situation is also not wasting your time with someone!)

I also read a lot about the difference in male and female. The psychology of both genres differs in some key points that are real logical when you understand them! Like the need to feel safe, for instance, before a woman will “connect” and before you even think of escalating.

One last book I highly recommend, “Emotions Revealed” by Paul Ekman, about recognizing emotions (in yourself as well as the others). Dr Ekman is well renowned on the subject of psychology and the research of emotional intelligence.

Last one, for the road, cause I tought of it while I was writing: The Emotional Life of your Brain By Richard J. Davidson. A neuroscientist approach on how you can take control of your brain, how you can shape it for your needs and reprogram your “filter” to enable you to go further!

Hope this helps!

Yessir, that's a good way of putting it.

>May I ask how you worked on your social skills and networking?

Absolutely! First I read a bunch of books and articles, which I'll list for you below. Second I got a job that requires a lot of social interaction. And third I made a very dedicated effort to do more social things.

(Wow, I didn't realize how large this list was going to be. So I'm going to very highly recommend the first three books and just say that everything else is going to be beneficial, but not really necessary. You don't have to go nearly as deep as I did to get good results.)

How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Talk to Anyone
What EveryBODY is Saying

---
Never Eat Alone
The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense
Argumentation and Debate
What to Say When You're Dying on the Platform
The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking
The Art of Framing
This article
This documentary on body language
This video on body language
This ebook
/r/socialskills
This website
This video
This video
This video
A lot of Craig Ferguson interviews (especially the lady ones)
Etiquette

To be honest: I'm not a great fan of weed. It amplifies psychological problems like anxiety or depression. I had my fair share of them and one important step to recovery was to quit (If you are interested r/leaves).
If it hinders the process? I don't know to be honest and frankly there could be no answer on this question, because it could depend on the person.

What you could do about your thoughts is pausing Transformation Mastery for a while and reading this book: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy .
This book will help you get rid of these thoughts and will give you a jump start.
Another one, which is not nearly as important as this amazing book is: You Are Not Your Brain.
And if you're really really ambitious this one The Happiness Trap too.

If you can't afford these books pm me.

You probably should forget about pickup until you fix your inner issues. I'd recommend checking out books on self-improvement, maybe like this and following their advice. Get yourself into situations that help you build self esteem and rapport with both sexes, like maybe a casual coed sports league.

Good luck man, from the sounds of it you still have a pretty long journey ahead of you. I started from a point similar to yours and overcame it, so it's definitely doable.

Be worth trying to establish if she’s found her ‘quiet’ confidence. I wrote this with women in mind but I think it’s equally relevant to men. Good luck https://www.amazon.co.uk/ENCHANTING-ME-Romantic-Emotional-Intelligence-ebook/dp/B07SKGB3WZ/

What helped me a great deal about paying attention to small thing is actually really meditation. If you want a good introduction to meditation, I can recommend you this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Tranquil-Mind-Introduction-Buddhism-Meditation/dp/0958416613/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536056406&sr=8-2&keywords=nairn+tranquil+mind

I was incredibly shy, insecure, needy. But then I saw a documentary around 2006 about dating coaches called "Charm School." I was fascinated. I moved to Montreal and practiced 7 nights a week for about a 2 years. Then I returned to Vancouver and worked for a local coaching company. Today I still am a coach for my own company.

The whole story is in my book.

I started with Ross Jeffrie's Speed Seduction. Then Mystery, and pretty much everything I could get my hands on. I tried a few routines but mostly it was the epiphany that the more I practiced, the better I got. Experience was the key. I practiced hard and never quit.

Mostly I used improv ability, and am a big fan of Tyler and RSD.

I read this a few years ago. It's excellent and very entertaining (I actually read this somewhat abridged version).

However, keep in mind that this guy frequently ended up in prison, got kicked out of pretty much every country in Europe, had sex with little girls, almost had sex with his 6-year-old daughter, almost had sex with his daughter who was of legal age at the time, kidnapped a married couple with his band and stranded the man on an island, then took the wife and gangbanged her, and other questionable activities.

He's obviously a great person to read about, but it's hard to see how one can draw inspiration from him.

I know one called "The rules," but haven't read it. Does anyone want to write a review?

Homepage,
Wiki of the book,
Amazon

It would be interesting to see what would happen if a girl was playing by the rules and a guy was playing the game.

a good book for mens clothes is
The Handbook of Style from Esquire

Its cheap, comprehensive, and easier than educating yourself by reading random articles on a subreddit or a forum.

I know 2 that are worth the read.

• What Every BODY Is Saying - An ex FBI agent's guide to speed reading people - Joe Navarro
  
  
• The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease, Allan Pease

This this and this, if you ever want some more reading material.