Best products from r/sleeptrain

I can't speak to the No-Cry or Ferber methods because I am not well read on either, I can just tell you how Happy Sleeper works. (very brief, totally incomplete explaination. I highly recommend getting the book.)

Starting at about 2 months, build your naps around a 90 minute wake cycle, regardless of how long the naps are. As soon as baby wakes, start the clock. Around 75 minutes, start the nap routine (an abridged version of the bedtime routine). 90 minutes, down for nap. After a few weeks of this, the timing should start to sync up and you'll start to see your baby's natural rhythm take shape and form a schedule.

Bedtime (lights-out) should be 7-7:30, so start the bedtime routine earlier to prepare. Bedtime routine should be the same every night, so baby can learn the predictable progression of steps and pick up on cues that say "ok, its bedtime, I know what this means and I can relax because I know what happens next.") Ex. Feed->Bath->Massage->Song->Bed (drowsy but awake).

Once down, utilize the Soothing Ladder, a progression of intervention steps that help avoid overhelping and give your baby the chance to start learning self-soothing without expecting them to do it all at once. You might rush in to sooth your crying baby by picking them up when all they may have needed was a little shushing. You work your way up the ladder as needed and again, your baby begins to predict the steps and feel more confident about what to expect. Example of ladder steps would be:

7. Feed
6. Pick baby up and gently rock
5. Jiggle baby in bed
4. Your touch, pat on the head, tummy rub, etc.
3. Replace pacifier/lovey
2. Sound of your voice, talking, shushing, etc.

1. Your presence in the room.
   
   You work your way up the ladder, spending only 10-15 seconds on each, but not skipping steps. For instance, you may find baby is calmed just by a little head pat instead of a full pick up and rocking.
   
   At about 5 months, the "sleep training" can begin because baby now has the cognitive ability to self-soothe, they may just need help building the skills. (I will be ultra brief here because my LO only turned 5 months today so we haven't tried this in practice yet.) Naps should still be on the 90-minute wake cycle until about 6-7 months, then you can shift to a time-of-day schedule.
   
   Bedtime success hinges on the early bedtime and consistent bedtime routine. The change here is ditching the Soothing Ladder and moving to the Sleep Wave. The goal here is to pass the baton of soothing to your child, but assure them that you support their independence. You come and go in a reliable way, responding to your baby in a way that is responsive, predictable, consistent, which becomes hypnotic.
   
   Sleep Wave steps:
   
   
2. Put baby down drowsy but awake. Give baby a pat and say your "goodnight script", which should be the same every time you leave the room after this point. Ex. "Its time for sleeping. Mommy's right outside. I love you."
   
   
3. 5-minute check. If baby starts to cry (really cry, not fuss, grunt or whine), wait 5 minutes. Go into the room where the baby can see and hear you, say your script and walk out. The check is only to let baby know you're there. Limit the visit to 7-10 seconds.
   
   
4. If baby is still crying, repeat step 2 exactly. If baby stops crying, start the clock over again and wait another 5 minutes if they cry again.
   
   
5. Wake-up time should be 11 hours after bedtime. Before this 11 hour mark, use the Sleep Wave to go back to bed, but after 11 hours, greet your baby and let them know its morning and give lots of morning cues (open the blinds, smile, etc.). This will help reaffirm the circadian rhythm and help baby determine the what it feels like when its time to wake for the day versus when they need to go back to sleep.
   
   What sold me on this method is the way it explains this approach as balanced. On the one hand, you want to support the need for closeness and help in a way that is nurturing, lots of touch, skin-to-skin and eye contact. On the other hand, you want to support their need for separation and independence with exploration, mastery persistence and confidence. Attunement holds both of these approaches in a balanced way that is supportive of both these needs for baby (and you!).
   
   Hope this wall-of-text was helpful. There's so much that is worth reading that isn't in this post, so if this resonates with you at all, I highly recommend you pick up the book. It really spoke to me and I haven't been able to put it down! Best wishes and happy sleeping!

We would usually break a day down as such when she was 3/4 months (wikka wikka waaa....get it? break it down?.....the sleep regression hit me hard.)

wake: 6AM

Feed boob.

play on mat for about 40 min so I could pump. Don't bother to change out of PJs but do take off owlet and sleep sack.

(Her awake window at 3/4 months was about an hour and a half, but in the morning I found it best to put her down within an hour. )

6:40AM offer boob. Then change diaper and do quick stretches as the music and physical movement signals nap is upon us. Then put on owlet and back into sleep sack, then we head on over to her crib/ bassinet (I had my husband build the crib in our bedroom halfway through 4 months because she is a LONG baby and grew out of the Halo). we turn on the night light and owlet, then read The Going to Bed Book EVERY time - again same sounds lets her know it is nap time - then i have a short song I hum while rocking her into the crib (like 20 - 30 seconds) where lights go out and turn on the sound machine at the end.... I'm out. Takes all of 10 minutes from start to finish if she doesn't want to eat.

(we do this still at 6 months. same routine - works like a bloody charm. No matter where I am if I do it she will nap with no tears 9/10 times.)

The key is to start the nap routine and put baby down BEFORE their unique wake window is closed. An overtired baby will not go down on their own, or without a fight.

8:30AM wake and boob. Time to change diaper and put on some real clothes! Then we do our SparkBabies activities for the day.

9:30AM Offer boob - then nap routine commences. Diaper change, clothing change back to PJs, stretches - move over to crib, turn on Owlet and night light, read same book and hum a little tune sound machine on and out goes the lights by 9:50 so they have time to fuss it out a bit or just chill to sleep by 10AM.

11:00AM Boob and change back out of PJs.

12:00 NOON Offer boob - you know the drill now. Out by 12:20

1:30 PM Wake up and boob it - change and go play!

2:30 PM Offer boob - nap it out by 2:50 PM!

4:00 PM Wake up wake up it's time to boob, chhhhhhhaaange...and play!

4:30 PM Cluster feeding begins...offer boob.

5:00 PM Offer boob and nap it out by 5:30 PM.

6:00 PM Awake and change, time to boob it out and play! Offer boob whenever fussy from here on out!

7:00 PM Bedtime routine starts.

I set everything up beforehand - but we begin with a bath with some nice lullaby music (instrument only) with minimal play - this is soothing, but fun times. Then I bring her back to her change table where we dry off, get some lotion on, put on her owlet and onesie/sleep sack. You want dim lighting for everywhere but the bath. Then I go to the bed (her crib/bassinet was beside me) where it is DARK except for a very dim night light and nurse her while quietly reading Harry Potter. I nurse her last personally so she gets a full feed, but the trick is I am so terrible at transferring her to her crib/ bassinet I always wake her up. You want to MAKE SURE baby is not totally asleep before putting them to bed. Hold them in seated position 5 minutes after finishing boob and gently rocking them back and forth (like....as if you were rocking in a seated position) is a good way to gently rouse them a but, as well as get gas out. Then put them down drowsy but awake, turn on sound machine and peace.

​

It takes time....each nap and bedtime give it 5 minutes before going back in, or do 10 or 15 if you feel like that works better for you. The first night she fussed/cried for 9 minutes. Now she goes out on her own in 3 minutes or less, and puts herself back to sleep when she wakes (unless really hungry, we're not night weaning). We're down to 3 naps a day at 6 months, I know when she sleeps and so does she - it took a long time to get here but you can. It's totally possible!

​

Good luck!

First off my son never had a 4 month sleep regression. He slept as you describe until 7 months when nursing to sleep took longer and longer and I trained him to put himself to sleep after his book.

To address your points:

1. Not really a problem is he's not sucking to sleep. Soon you will want to be brushing his teeth after the bottle though so keep that in mind. Ideally you should be able to just plop him in the crib after his book, but personally I went from nursing to sleep to plopping in one night of 40 minute CIO, so I don't think it's a huge deal.
   
   
2. Moms on call sleep training advocates extinction CIO at 12 weeks, at the same time you drop the swaddle. I'm in the Facebook group and lots of people are successful and happy with this. I'd read the whole method though.
   
   
3. yes I think this is how people do it, but no experience personally.
   
   
4. No, drop the swaddle at the same time. Baby needs to be able to scooch around to find his comfy spot and suck on his hsnds to self soothe.
   
   
5. yep, bye bye paci
   
   
6. I used MOC and Weisssbluth for my kids sleep and both are adamant about the importance of an early bedtime. 8 on is actually a late bedtime past the newborn stage. Weisssbluth recommends enjoying morning time if you get home late, but denying a baby the 11 hour night they need is harmful. He goes into this topic specifically and basically says it's better to see your kid only 2 bedtimes a week than keep them up late so you can see them after work.
   
   As for sharing a room These slumber pods are super popular in the MOC group, throw a sound machine in there and you should be good to enjoy your apartment without disturbing your baby.
   
   SlumberPod Privacy Pod for Traveling with Babies and Toddlers: Easy to Set Up Blackout Dark and Private Sleeping Space - Canopy Compatible with Graco Pack 'n Play, Lotus Travel Crib, Baby Bjorn https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L38P8DM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ayHODb4ASTDQ5

My daughter has ALWAYS been obsessed with putting things in her mouth (fingers, pacifiers, cat food, chair legs--you name it!). As she got older, I noticed that she REALLY liked to suck on the little satin-y tags they put on stuffed animals/bibs/clothes. I had seen taggie blankets before at Buy Buy Baby, so I got on Amazon and bought this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01BX7N1AO/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

We started introducing her blanket at quiet/sleep times when she was around 5.5 months old. I would just hold it between us and sometimes encourage her to suck on the tags or put it near her face.

She always liked the blanket, but it definitely has taken some time for her to attach to it. I do feel like stuffing it down my shirt so that it smells like me has made a difference. She seems to settle quicker and cuddle more with it when it has my scent.

I think it's definitely not too early to introduce an item during bedtime/feeding times even if she is not sleeping with it yet. You can still teach her to associate a certain item with mom, warmth, and sleepiness even if she's not taking it to the crib with her yet. :) Also, as far as the age thing goes, I think it depends on your baby and your comfort level. My daughter has always been really strong/mobile and I think she would have been OK with a lovie at 3.5-4 months. But...I am super paranoid and I knew I'd kill myself looking at the monitor every 2 seconds, so we waited a bit longer. Good luck!!

> My daughter is about a week shy of 4 months. Over the last week or two her sleep has turned to complete crap. She went from 1 or 2 wakeups per 12 hour night to waking every hour or two and needing a lot of help to go back to sleep.

Look up "4 month sleep regression". What you're talking about sounds like this very common sleep regression, although the pacifier is likely exasperating it. It will pass, though!

> She wants it to fall asleep but can't keep it in her mouth so she freaks if she wakes up and it's gone.

Also common. Most pacifier babies go through this; they just have to learn. You may want to look into getting a Wubbanub (or, if you don't use the Soothie brand of pacifiers, look up the Nookums Paciplushie, which is like the Wubbanub but is compatible with all pacifier styles). It helps with learning how to keep the pacifier in their mouths, and makes it easy to find if they lose it, etc.

> What should I do about the rolling? When I lay her on her back she immediately rolls over. I'm hoping that if she's drowsy enough she won't but what if she wakes up and rolls.

Leave her! If she can roll to her belly, she has lost the SIDS risk of belly-sleeping. Just be sure to put her on her back when you put her down to sleep, but leave her if she rolls. Read the seventh FAQ here for the official SIDS "safe to sleep" group about this. Just make sure you stop swaddling now that she can roll.

> If we're doing Ferber and she ends up on her belly do we leave her there to cry? Roll her back every check? Do we need to wait until she can roll back to start sleep training (oh god, say it ain't so).

We used Ferber when transitioning out of the swaddle at 4 months, for the same exact reason you're considering it. Like your daughter, mine uses pacifiers to fall asleep and, like yours, would flip onto her belly and start crying... or lose her pacifier and start crying. When we Ferberized, we would leave her on her belly after she flipped their on her own, but put her pacifier back in during the checks.

> Should I get some kind of sleep sack that leaves her arms free?

Yep. We used the Halo brand, but pick whichever works for you. When we transitioned, we actually used a regular swaddle but kept her arms free (so, just swaddled from torso down), then switched to the sleep sacks when she got used to having her arms free. Some, however, swear by the Zipadee Zip, so you may want to check that out.

> She sucks on her hands and I want her to do that and self-soothe since we're dropping the pacifier.

Just out of curiosity - why are you dropping the pacifier? She will eventually learn to put the pacifier back in - believe me. I've been exactly where you are. She will figure it out, don't worry. Also, it is much easier to have a toddler quit a pacifier than have a toddler quit sucking their hand/fingers/thumbs. I was a finger-sucker until I was 12 (seriously) and my husband was a thumb-sucker until he was 10. You can't take away a kids' fingers! And, with the Zipadee Zip, they can still use their hands a bit to hold onto pacifiers - my friends' kids do it! But, the same company also makes a "flying squirrel", which is the same as the zipadee zip, but the hands and feet aren't covered.

I don’t have any experience with this yet (LO is 6mo.), but I do have friends who have had great success with a light up clock for their toddler. They set it for the time that it’s okay for her to come out of her room/quiet time is over, and if she wakes up before then she plays with the stuffed animals in her room.

Good luck, and congrats on the addition to your family!

Mirari OK to Wake! Alarm Clock & Night-Light https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EAHSBV4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_cWk6Cb6J4JHED

1. Probably not. Cut yourself some slack, it's the first night. It really depends on what your goals for sleep training are right now. For me, I wanted my baby (6 months) to go to sleep on her own and link sleep cycles without my help. I'm not worried about night weaning right now. This means I put her down and don't go in to feed her until 5 hours have passed, then feed every 3 hours after that (only if she wakes). If she wakes up after 6 (no matter when I last fed her) but before 8 (when we start our day), I bring her into my bed and we cuddle for a couple of hours. My kid is pretty chill so this really hasn't derailed sleep training at all, she pretty much just wakes up to eat until the early morning. Right now it's a nice compromise between totally independent sleep and cuddle time with my sweet babe (plus I get to sleep in).
   
   
2. She wears long sleeve pjs and a sleep sack. Sometimes I use a zipadee zip if it's colder (I live in northern Canada so YMMV). I keep a lighter and heavier sleep sack handy so I can add or reduce layers based on her temperature at feedings. My monitor tells the temperature too, which helps.
   
   
3. I put a Sophie the giraffe teething ring (not the giraffe!) in the crib with her, so she has something to touch and hold onto if she wakes up between sleep cycles. I often watch her on the monitor grab it and wave it in the air, which is pretty cute. When she's a few months older I'll give her a small stuffed toy if she seems to need it, but this works for now.
   
   
4. Your boobs will regulate. Hand express a bit to relieve pressure if you get uncomfortable.

Good job so far! Like most people were saying, don't pick him up and don't do check ins if he's not crying. The first two nights are the hardest and then it gets so much better. Have you thought about getting a video monitor to give you peace of mind? You can see them in the dark too. I love ours:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00ECHYTBI/ref=pd_aw_sim_75_of_27?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=HCRNTD85FVE65V3AX9W0
I think he will find the best sleeping position on his own. My girl prefers sleeping on tummy with her face in the mattress. At first I would go in to turn her but then she'd go back to the same position. It really freaked us out, so we bought a breathable mattress. It's been two months and it's still her favorite position. Hope tonight goes better. Keep up the good work!

My husband was sort of opposite, but I think it helped having a to-the-point guide for him to read. He took charge of it after reading (more skimming) through this book about how to care for your child's health. There was a section about the importance of sleep for babies, along with an overview of a few sleep training techniques. He picked timed checks, and just went for it. It was harder on me, but he sort of held my hand and we got through it together.

It was this book: Taking Care of Your Child: A Parent’s Illustrated Guide to Complete Medical Care https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738213497/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ceMSDbXDT64P6

A little off topic but relating to setting up baby to be a good sleeper; I highly suggest a lovey. The best baby sleepers I know have one and introducing it early during feeding, or when you're supervising naps/sleep, can really set the baby up to find comfort in the lovey and self soothe later. Pick your own but something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Angel-Dear-Blankie-Brown-Giraffe/dp/B000WFPWUQ

My wife and I just transitioned our 4 month old daughter from swaddle to the Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit. We need to build up more data, but based on the limited usage it's worked out considerably well. This may not be the answer you wanted, as it is another item to buy and eventually transition out of again, but we've been happy with it, especially since we're getting more sleep. Full disclosure, we've only been using it two days but we have seen markedly improved nap and nighttime sleep already. She still has a strong moro reflex that would constantly wake her up when unswaddled. The sleepsuit virtually fixes the issue,allowing range of movement but still limited enough not to wake her.

We ST my son at 7 MO and never had to retrain. Maybe after an illness there's a night or two of bad sleep (since I often let him sleep on me in our glider if he's sick) but it never warranted full re-training. For my family, it was the best decision we ever made. 26 MO now and still sleeps very, very well. We used The Happy Sleeper method and it worked wonders for both naps and nighttime sleep.

I started my girl with her lovie around 5 months old. This is the one we use, it's light and breathable even if it winds up over here face which made me feel better. She loves to rub things on her face when she gets sleepy. Since then, i bought another pack to just have around. So glad I got these! She adores it and goes to bed with it every night, only for bedtime.

Milliard on Amazon is soft and fits regular cribs perfectly. Baby has slept on it since 4 months old and is now 10 months. I bought a second one for crib at Grandmas house because I love it so much. Plus it comes with a cover built in to protect from diaper leaks or other spills.

ETA link: Milliard Crib Mattress and Toddler Bed Mattress | Hypoallergenic + Waterproof Encasement | 27.5"x52"x5" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EV79VRQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_UdnyCb5BMG06P

She's safe, in her crib, in a loving home. She's having a tough adjustment, but she's not irreversibly broken.

What other sleep cues does she have besides the pacifier? Like routine, white noise, stuffed animal? If she just moved to a crib, she might also be adjusting to a new space. Anything else that might be going on, like teething?

We went through a pacifier battle a little younger, after I had to put it back 5 times between midnight and 1AM. She got over it and back to normal in a few days, but at 5 months, your daughter is probably more attached to it than mine was at 2 months.

Is there any difference in cry time or intensity between nights 1 and 10? No experience going from extinction to something else. It sounds odd, but I felt 100x better when I gave her a little pep talk explained to her what was happening before I headed down stairs, not sure if you are already doing that.

If you get truly stuck, I would try Weisbluth's book. It has step by step on all the sleep cues, and there's a section at the end dedicated to problem solving that might help.

I don’t know if this is applicable to you, but we picked Baby’s Only Whey Protein formula, because supposedly it is very digestible and easy on the stomach for babies. We fully switched around 7 months and didn’t notice any sleep problems or tummy troubles... good luck!

I’m a sleep consultant and always have my clients use real white noise for their baby’s to help them stay asleep.

It’s also a positive sleep cue. This is the one I use.

HoMedics, White Noise Machine, Sleep Sound Machine with 6 Nature Sounds and Timer, Spa Relaxation, Sleep Therapy for Home, Office and Travel, SS-2000G/F-AMZ Silver https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A2JBMRE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_PlD5Ab5TRDGVT

This sounds silly I know, but my little boy loves pressing buttons. We got him this mobile and took the actual mobile part off. The little bottom part is four buttons, a night light and each button plays a song. We lay him down and he's drowsy, he pressed the buttons and falls asleep. The baby monitor goes off in the night with him waking randomly then pressing them and going back to sleep - maybe something like that sort of distraction would help?

We bought this and it legit saved our lives:
EasyGo Products EGP-BEDTENT-002 Space Indoor Dream Tent - Children and Adult Use -Daytime Play & Portable Privacy Shelter, Twin https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G8PKC8B/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_UaFRDbETZB0S8

We set up her pack and play inside and put her white noise machine underneath. GAME CHANGER.

Our guy has always woken up early. We started using one of the Mirari OK to Wake lights around 14 months. The light turns on at a time you set. So you can at least try to explain that if the light isn't on yet, he should go back to sleep or play in his crib. It felt like when I came in must seem arbitrary to him otherwise because he would always wake up at a slightly different time. We set it for 6:45. All this said, he still tends to wake up early and wail after a while. I think we just have a baby that doesn't sleep that much. But we at least have something to stick to and it has helped. I walk right in after the little light has turned on so he builds that association. Amazon link here.

I don't know the age/size of your LO, but we wouldn't have gotten naps down at ALL if it weren't for the Magic Merlin Sleep Suit. We only got about 2 weeks out of it before baby learned to wiggle out (and then flip over!), but IMO that's what kickstarted our nap routine. Bedtimes is a different story :)

Worth the cost, for us, anyway. You might also be able to find it used.

I would purchase this book. https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Sleeper-Science-Backed-Helping-Sleep-Newborn/dp/0399166025/ref=nodl_ We used this method to sleep train our 6 month old daughter. It goes over weaning night feedings and check-ins for crying are never longer than 5 minutes! It’s a great book and I feel definitely suits all your criteria and needs.

Edit. If you don’t want to purchase the book, research sleep wave method.

We use a pack n play with this SnoozeShade + white noise


SnoozeShade Pack N Play Crib Canopy and Tent | Breathable Netting Sleep and Cover Shade | Award-Winning & Mom-Designed https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007BADUH2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_4xFRDbEH1AAPY

You can always use Snoozeshade for a pack n play to darken the sleeping area and do crib hour.