Best products from r/thebachelor

I will be that person for you, lol. For reference, I have normal to oily combination skin and am prone to occasional breakouts.

AM routine:

1. Cleanse with Amorepacific Treatment Cleansing Foam (Note: This isn’t an actual foam but more of a cream cleanser, so it’s poorly named, but that’s its only flaw.)
   
   
2. Tone with Son & Park Beauty Water
   
   
3. Moisturize with Peter Thomas Roth Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Cream Moisturizer
   
   
4. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen. I like the Murad City Skin Age Defense Broad Spectrum SPF, but only because I work from home and seldom have to go outside during the week. Otherwise, it’d be too expensive for daily use, and I’d recommend something more affordable like Canmake Mermaid Skin Gel UV, Biore UV Aqua Rich Watery Essence or Perfect Face Milk, or Skin Aqua Moisture Milk.
   
   PM routine:
   
   
5. Cleanse with Amorepacific
   
   
6. Tone with Beauty Water
   
   
7. Moisturize with Cloud Cream
   
   
8. Treat eye area with Murad Retinol Youth Renewal Eye Serum
   
   
9. Treat lips with Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask
   
   Once per week:
   
   
10. Drunk Elephant TLC Sukari Babyfacial followed by Drunk Elephant Marula Oil
    
    Also once per week:
    
    
11. Herbivore Blue Tansy AHA + BHA Resurfacing Clarity Mask , also followed by the marula oil
    
    Three things to note:
    
    
12. Many people double cleanse at night in order to more effectively wash off the impurities of the day. Personally, I’ve found that the Beauty Water does a pretty good job of picking up what my cleanser has missed, but if you do decide to go the double cleansing route, you’ll probably want a cleansing oil or balm to start with, so that it’s not too drying. I’ve heard that Farmacy and Tata Harper have some good options.
    
    
13. I’ve heard that retinols are the key to anti-aging, but I haven’t found one yet that I’d recommend (other than the eye serum). I tried the Kate Somerville RetAsphere Night Cream but didn’t love it. So if anyone has any suggestions, I’m all ears!
    
    
14. The Drunk Elephant items are really pricey, so if you’re looking for a dupe, you can try products from The Ordinary. I haven’t personally tried either of these yet (going to finish up my DE products and then give them a whirl), but I’ve heard great things about the brand, and it’s so cheap that even if you don’t like it, you’re not out too much money.
    
    Dupe for the Drunk Elephant Sukari Babyfacial:
    
    http://theordinary.com/product/rdn-aha-30pct-bha-2pct-peeling-solution-30ml?redir=1
    
    Dupe for the Marula Oil:
    
    http://theordinary.com/product/rdn-100pct-cold-pressed-virgin-marula-oil-30ml?redir=1
    
    There are also minis of some of these products at Sephora or on the brands’ own websites — that way, you don’t have to invest too much money off the bat if you’re not yet sure. Sephora also has a great return policy (which I will be utilizing for that retinol) and will give you samples of any of their products if you just go into a store and ask! (Somehow I did not know this until just recently.)
    
    Hope that helps!

You could get a cookbook by Ottolenghi (https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ottolenghi); he's a master of vegetable cookery. Jetpens is a super cool site with awesome stuff for artists and stationary enthusiasts (https://www.jetpens.com). Another option is a beautiful book of an artist's work. I'm also an artist and love impressionism, and Monet is my favorite artist. My boyfriend recently got me this beautiful book with pictures of Monet's gardens in Giverny (https://www.amazon.com/Claude-Monets-Gardens-at-Giverny/dp/1419709607/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1525149442&sr=8-5&keywords=giverny+book); he's also gotten me an Impressionist and Monet textbooks. So depending on what kind of art your friend enjoys, perhaps a book about it would be a good choice. Your friend sounds a lot like me, and I have loved all of these gifts. :)

DO IT! This is the one we put on our registry and got today! Lol I made frozen pizza on it and it was AMAZING! You could probably find one for cheaper but I love that brand- if you look through the page it’s hilarious lol, and they included an amazing note 😂 aaaaand also yes the pizza stone is great haha!

I’ve been reading Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You by Sam Gosling and it is very interesting. I think people on this sub would like it since we all like snooping around and dissecting information haha. It’s almost like MTV’s Room Raiders but from a doctorate in psychology’s viewpoint. There’s subconscious meaning behind what types of pictures you hang on your walls and even which walls you hang said pictures on. He can go through someone’s room and paint a pretty accurate portrayal of their personality without ever meeting them. I would think it would be a good read if you’re dating around and want to get a better feel for someone haha. I’m only a few chapters in but it’s very interesting so far!!

I found out about Snoop because it was mentioned in another book I’ve been reading Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat by Hal Herzog. It’s a book on anthrozoology and talks about the history humans have had with animals, and some moral conundrums we have about them. Are we instinctually afraid of snakes or is it learned behavior? Do people really look like their dogs? (This one was interesting! Human couples that live together start to develop similar facial structures. That’s not true with dogs. We don’t start to look like our dogs but we may pick dogs that look like us. Women with shorter hair are more likely to adopt dogs with perky ears instead of floppy. And students were able to match humans with their dogs with a higher accuracy rate than they would by just random chance). Why do some cultures eat bugs but we think that’s gross, or why do some cultures eat animals that we keep as pets? They talk about the infamous trolly problem and replace it with animals and you can see your own morals start to shift and be questioned. With humans you’d think it’s better to pull the lever to save 5 lives instead of 1... but now replace that problem with 5 birds vs 1 dog and see if your answer is still the same. Very interesting.

Edit: oh oh! One more. And Then You're Dead: What Really Happens If You Get Swallowed by a Whale, Are Shot from a Cannon, or Go Barreling over Niagara. The author did an AMA on reddit which I found interesting so I bought the book and read it in a day. And the chapters are set up so you can just flip around and read what you’re interested in. My favorites include what happens if your window falls out of an airplane and you get sucked out, how many bees you’d have to get stung by at one time before you died (1,500 honeybees), and what happens if you’re in a free falling elevator (jumping won’t do anything. Lay down flat on the ground to disperse the impact... and because if you’re standing up once the elevator stops your intestines will continue to fall and impact themselves out your bottom. And then you die).

When we started dating, we were mono but we discussed both being pansexual and I let him know early on that if he wanted to explore that, I was okay with it, but we had to be really open and honest and communicative/respectful. As time went on and we were exposed to more sort of radical thinking and embracing ourselves more in the comfort of a stable, loving relationship, we decided to fully go for it. It helps to have literature to read together too- there's some great books like More Than Two that could help guide the process, if you want to approach it with your partner :)

I've posted this before, but don't waste your time on sugar bear hair. Order this instead: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OJOFX2S?psc=1

It's the same thing, but for 10 bucks. I'm on my second bottle and my hair definitely feels better, plus they're delicious.

Target and Amazon sell these! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004QK7HI8/ref=psdc_172665_t2_B00JC9J2NQ They're super-easy to set up. Just make sure you hang it from the top of the wall so you can get better signal. I have one and my parents do too and they've been great.

Attached is also really good if you like the Attachment Theory.

I found it pretty helpful in understanding some of my behaviours or just recognizing them and how to look for a secure person. I usually would find someone secure “boring” or too nice but looked at them differently as someone worth pursuing:)

https://www.amazon.ca/Attached-Science-Attachment-Find-Keep/dp/1585429139/ref=asc_df_1585429139/?tag=googlemobshop-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=293019384127&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5508430617889597947&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9001627&hvtargid=pla-436644332348&psc=1

I have an anxious attachment style too, and initially I thought it was a bad thing. What I like about this theory is how non-judgmental it all is. Your needs are your needs. I NEED more security and validation from partners, so I NEED to look for someone who is capable of giving me that. Secures can do that, while avoidants cannot.

If this interests you at all, I HIGHLY recommend the book “Attached”

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01DW94S3A/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

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And yes, I do actually like it a lot! It looks good on my wood floors and with my furniture. It's better quality than you would think for such a low price, TBH.

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Edit to add- when I bought it, it was $86. Seems to have gone up in price. Maybe it will be on sale soon? Either way, its not a bad price for a rug.

I bought these for a costume last year, but wear them to work now because they’re very comfortable surprisingly. Very similar, but a d’orsay

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077XPZRNF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_dRo2DbBXRQYTT[these ](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077XPZRNF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_dRo2DbBXRQYTT)

Amazon has a super cheap one just like this! https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B077HPR2HK/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Don't waste your money

Go to duane reade and buy black soap. I haven't used anything else in 5 years.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/SheaMoisture-African-Black-Soap-Ounces/dp/B00QU12NIA/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_194_tr_t_2?_encoding=UTF8&refRID=A7754F9Q7Z1AWT718H59&th=1

It's the best

edit: if I use anything else, I'll break out a tad within a few days. You don't need to spend a lot of money on skincare, that's totally a lie.

I'm obviously getting to this quite late, but had it bookmarked for a while to check out. :)

I agree with the points you made here, OP, and I think it's so important to consider these factors and influences before we judge the women. Because of how we are socialized, I am someone who has been guilty of judging Hannah B way more than I have judged Caelynn. Caelynn's way of coping has been more similar to mine and is definitely the more "socially appropriate way" even in how she didn't bring it up until she was forced to address it because Hannah B brought it up. Add to this that Caelynn is more contained and more eloquent, and I naturally sided with her in the beginning. Reading your very insightful and well-written post made me call myself out on what I've been doing recently when I watch scenes with their feud. Hannah's reactions have made me uncomfortable, but I completely agree that their (often edited!) behavior shouldn't make us believe one over the other.

I highly recommend this book if you haven't read it yet- I think it's right up your alley! https://www.amazon.com/Dance-Anger-Changing-Patterns-Relationships/dp/0062319043/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1476654196&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dance+of+anger

I’m nearly done with my second round right now. You’ll be fine! Order this!! It’s seriously a lifesaver and so much better than aquaphor

https://www.amazon.com/Vanity-Planet-Ultimate-Cleansing-Bombshell/dp/B015Q4MDB8/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1541030536&sr=8-3&keywords=ultimate%2Bskin%2Bspa%2Bvanity%2Bplanet&th=1

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$31 with free shipping if you're an amazon person

Yes absolutely! This is the one I have:

Luxe Bidet Neo 120 - Self Cleaning Nozzle - Fresh Water Non-Electric Mechanical Bidet Toilet Attachment (blue and white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A0RHSJO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_8P1NDbV5YWW78

It’s great, a little intense at first but you get used to it! I miss mine when I’m not home lol

No need for power outlets or complicated setups. These bidet attachments fit on almost any toilet and simply tap into the fresh water that goes into the toilet bowl. You can add it in a rental apartment no problem. It's not warm water but that doesn't really matter. Almost all of my friends have these now and everyone swears by them.

Wait, it gets better. A couple of the other photos are literally the first one photoshopped into different backgrounds: https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Skeleton-Halloween-Costume-Masquerade/dp/B07X1Z687H/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?dchild=1&keywords=qerhod+women%27s+skeleton&psc=1&qid=1570810414&sr=8-1-fkmr0

You gotta get this shit, it's chapstick gold. The only thing that keeps my lips attached to my face.

I also use this overnight lip mask every night. And I do a homemade sugar scrub (put a little bit of coconut oil on an old toothbrush, sprinkle sugar on it til it's fully coated, gently scrub lips) whenever my mouth has hella dandruff.

I've only been on Accutane for a month, but so far, so good with this routine.