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Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!

My cat was super picky - fresh water every morning wasn't even good enough for him! I had a different fountain for a few years and recently got this one - stainless steel, and several options for water flow. https://www.amazon.com/PetSafe-Drinkwell-Multi-Pet-Stainless-Fountain/dp/B002SB91QS

It's super easy to take apart, just the cone and bowl, then the pump, spout, and tube connecting them. There's a filter around the pump to catch bigger things like fur and debris, and a charcoal filter just before the spout. It's pretty easy to clean, too.

As for hard water, my cat was spoiled - I would use filtered water from the fridge or gallon jugs at the grocery store.

A knife is always a good gift. You can get a fairly nice knife for $30, or a pretty decent knife for $15. If you don't feel like shopping online, you could even pick up a Gerber Mini Paraframe for $10 at Walmart. They're really more affordable gifts than you'd think.

The best part is, they're good gifts for everyone. If they're a knife enthusiast, they'll always be glad for another knife, they can always use a cheap knife as a beater knife. If they've never carried a knife, they'll give it a try and realize how convenient it is.

I gave my girlfriend the Gerber Mini Paraframe after she kept borrowing my knife. She scoffed at first, but tossed it in her purse, a week later she thanked me, saying how often it's saved the day. 3 years later, she still carries it in her purse.

I also have waxy ears and use olive oil drops instead of the hydrogen peroxide stuff then after a few days use one of these https://www.amazon.co.uk/AcuLife-Ear-Wax-Removal-Syringe/dp/B000SOJXGA/. It's disgusting seeing all the wax come out in the sink but feels pretty amazing as well and it works great.

This gives me an amazing idea for a reality tv show (or a prank youtube video). Have a giant party and put some ground up Ambien in the punch bowl. Have a bunch of video cameras taping everything that happens. Since lots of drugs have increased effects when taken with alcohol - the outcome would be some of the best television we've ever seen. Though it might just turn into a giant sugar-free jello orgy at a Trump rally.

Another fun idea: buy this cook book and make some creamy cookies. Have a dinner party with you, your BF, your parents and their parents. Have everyone shove the cookies in their rectum. The next morning, email both sets of parents and say you accidentally had them rectally ingest the Semen cookies that you were going to send to /u/Warlizard and are extremely sorry for the mix up.

Surprisingly, the answer to avoiding back pain isn't "remain as motionless as possible", but rather, exercise. (Genetic predispositions notwithstanding, of course.)

Also, make sure you're keeping your mobility as healthy as possible. For example, if you can't touch your toes without bending your knees, that's something you might want to work on. Another one is squatting down and keeping your feet flat on the ground.

Don't let the fear of what might happen stop you from doing something about it. My dad died at 55 from congestive heart failure, when I was 29. (His dad died similarly at age 54.) I just turned 56 this year, and have been quite a bit more active and focused on general health (not to fanatic levels). And yes, my dad's passing does contribute to some of the motivation behind what I do, but not significantly so.

You may not have chosen your genetics, but you can make lifestyle choices.

Btw, a lacrosse ball can help with keeping the myriad back muscles less chronically tight. I mentioned this in another post, but check out Becoming a Supple Leopard.

I personally use this with no attachments.


My strategy is squat over a mirror, and when trimming right side hold the trimmer in your right hand and bring left hand across and to the right side pulling your cheek "open" so that it makes your skin tight where you are trying to shave. Best of luck!

Can I suggest a shampoo brush? Has absolutely changed my life with my curly hair and I've heard nothing but good things from others. So easy to get to and effectively clean the scalp through thick and curly hair

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076Q6442Z/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_1NtFDbRTHYDDG

You should get her the Kama Pootra at some point ;) Great for that private reading room. I got this for my better half for christmas, when we had decided on no gifts and I said "can't do that". It's the butt of a joke at all times and everyone who visits us finds it funny. I even put in a bit of toilet paper as a bookmark :D

https://www.amazon.com/Kama-Pootra-Mind-Blowing-Ways-Poop/dp/1402237146

Those two ingredients actually make me break out on the back of my neck. Switched to a sulfate free shampoo recently, love it.

This is the one; http://amzn.com/B008TYO2KI

Save yourself and get him one of These. It'll make a great stocking stuffer this year.

For the finger sucking: My four year old doesn't suck his fingers while he's wearing [Thum] (http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/thum-b-sucking/nail-biting-liquid/ID=prod922-product) . The only trick is consistency. If that turns out to be too weak, Mavala Stop has better [reviews on Amazon] (http://www.amazon.com/Mavala-Stop-Biting-Sucking-0-3-Fluid/dp/B0000YUXI0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413493717&sr=8-1&keywords=thum) but it sounds like it might be too strong in some cases.

I've got this one: https://www.amazon.com/Squatty-Potty-Refresh-Toilet-Attachment/dp/B00SLLK6RM?ref_=ast_sto_dp It works well and was easy to install. It's made by the same people who make the Squatty Potty, which I also recommend.

Yeah well Clint Eastwood looks fabulous in his shawl:

https://www.amazon.com/Eastwood-Fistful-Dollars-Poncho-Aluminum/dp/B01ITNXD80

book recommendation for ya https://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-Right/dp/0805091742 - it definitely has a bunch of military references too. checklists are amazing

For some reason, whenever I swim, I get crazy amounts of ear wax buildup over the next couple of days. I used one of those Japanese ear picks for a while, and it helped, but then I discovered this glorious device. Fill it with warm water, shoot it into your ear, and repeat. The first few sprays probably won't produce much, as it needs to soften up the wax a bit first, but then big chunks of wax start coming out of your ear and suddenly you can hear so much better. It's the most satisfying thing ever.

The photos in the Amazon reviews are disgusting, but they'll give you an idea of what will be coming out of your ears.

Bro

http://www.amazon.com/Nordic-Ware-Microwave-Egg-Boiler/dp/B0007M2BN0

Shit is a MIRACLE. 4 perfectly soft-boiled eggs in 7 minutes 10 seconds. BRO YOU ALMOST HAD IT YOU JUST NEED SOME GUIDANCE DON'T FEEL DOWN.

Nicely said. If you like this prose, the UK Amazon reviews of Veet for Men are right up your alley.

If you are going to use one all your life, don't buy a rechargable trimmer that uses a battery. I recommend a corded trimmer like this one

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https://www.amazon.com/Wahl-Professional-Classic-Clipper-8685/dp/B00011K2BA/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1543289423&sr=8-3&keywords=peanut+wahl

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I use it for my beard, unlike clippers for your head this one doesn't harm your skin when you use it without cover/guide.

It is totally a thing! Just check out these awesome reviews !!

BAKblade 2.0 PLUS - Back Hair Removal and Body Shaver (DIY), Easy to Use Curved Handle for a Close, Pain-Free Shave Wet or Dry https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071JSSF8T/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Dbj.Bb45D89HM


You're welcome

OP, you may be interested in a book called "When the Body Says No". If you read it and find that what it says feels true in your own experience, you may find a path to heal your auto-immune disease challenges. https://www.amazon.com/When-Body-Says-Understanding-Stress-Disease/dp/0470923350

I'm pretty sure David Thorne is the one writing them. Also check out the reviews for Veet hair removal cream for men reviews.

I thought it was him when I read them and they reminded me of his style. Then I read this piece by him that actually mentions the hair removal bit.

https://www.amazon.com/b-Comfort-Applicator-Digital-Tampons/dp/B00NJNJCJA

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These. They're surprisingly easy to use, although I'm on the cup these days.

https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_4?crid=3AJ7YJ0LXPL3V&keywords=gummy+bears+sugar+free&qid=1568927296&s=gateway&sprefix=gummy+bears+s%2Caps%2C341&sr=8-4

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The amazon reviews are interesting.

I do have an actual microwave egg cooker.

It has a metalic insert that protects the eggs from the microwaves. One time that insert fell out, and boy did I get a surprise.

Use this next time and see if he still laughs

Like this: (Might not be entirely work safe. Depends how uptight they are about descriptions of putting hair remover on genitals)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

Get him a baKblade and he can do it himself...
BAKblade 2.0 PLUS - Back Hair Removal and Body Shaver (DIY), Easy to Use Curved Handle for a Close, Pain-Free Shave Wet or Dry https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071JSSF8T/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_JQl.Bb6QXMVQB

A Healthy Alternative

well there is this cookbook...



http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

I use this: https://www.amazon.com/Acu-Life-Ear-Wax-Removal-Syringe/dp/B000SOJXGA/

works well for me.

Next time go for Veet for Men instead. The Amazon reviews seem to suggest it should be fine for your needs.

I agree. We used this on our kid and he stopped. Available on [Amazon] (http://amzn.com/B0000YUXI0).

sounds vaguely familiar.... http://www.amazon.com/ss/customer-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=?_encoding=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0

For your new business

But wait, there's more

this was the first thing that came to my mind

An oldie but a goodie https://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

very relevant

http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

This will change your life. Guaranteed. Just take 10 minutes to read this, PLEASE

Obligatory

Although it's sold for men, you might consider VEET next time. Just read the reviews, particularlly A. Chappell's http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK

Reminds me of this hilariously unfortunate product review by A. Chappell. link here

Going to put this here Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes https://www.amazon.com/dp/1481227041/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2vG9Ab2BKMYEE

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

http://www.amazon.com/Veet-Hair-Removal-Creme-200ml/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=sr_1_5?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1376271714&sr=1-5&keywords=veet

Read the customer reviews from A. Chappell. and Randy Amarus

1. My username belongs in your username.
   
   
2. There are ways to make someone swallow without knowing https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041 - great for when the mother in law visits!
   
   

From someone else with waxy ass ears:

Hot shower, let some water flow in so everything softens up, then use a wax removal tool instead of a q-tip. These are designed to scoop out wax, q-tips basically just push it further down (which can cause an impaction, which isn't pleasant).

If things get bad, a warm saline rinse works wonders, use a syringe and preferably have someone else do it to you. It's really hard to do yourself.