Best products from r/ttcafterloss

Hello, all! This is my new username (formerly /u/infertilitythrowaway). I wanted to explain my new name, because it has a lot of meaning for me.

After our first loss, we donated a children's book to our public library in memory of the baby. The head children's librarian picked out a book she thought would be good: Hi, Koo!: A Year of Seasons by Jon Muth; it's a book of haiku for kids. A little bookplate was put in the front cover; it says "Presented to [library] in memory of Baby [last initial]. Love, Mama, Dada, and [#1]." The thing that let me know that this was the perfect choice for us was in the author's intro: "Haiku is like an instant captured in words." This is what I wanted--the brief time of my pregnancy, memorialized with the book. It was really meaningful to me to eventually go to the library and read the book. It was a way for me to do something positive with the loss, contribute to a cause I believe in (yay, early literacy!), and ensure our baby isn't forgotten. Whenever I check the book's status online, it is checked out, so I know people are reading and enjoying it, and that makes me happy.

Anyway, a while ago I asked the librarians to pick out a book we can donate in memory of our second loss, and they emailed me back this morning with their choice: Bluebird by Lindsey Yankey. I've asked that this one's bookplate read: "Presented to [library] in loving memory of Baby [nickname] by Mama, Dada, and [#1]. We will always wonder where your wings could have taken you."

In the midst of trying to hold back tears while confirming with them that this book is a good choice, I realized that the two books together make a good new username for me. They capture my sadness at our losses, my love for all our babies, and my hope for our future.

Thanks for reading my wall of text! I feel so connected to so many of you and wish I could give you all hugs IRL.

Dang it that sucks. It all sucks. All I can offer is my recommendation of Strong curves. I bought the book and there's very little or no discussion of new post-partum. (Co-author does have 2 kids and describes how she gained weight with pregnancy, but that's the intro and not part of the important part of the book)

I'm enjoying it because it's very focused on let's get fit, and not really focusing on the why you want to be fit. (for your own sake, to have an amazing booty, to compete in fitness, to do a different training program etc etc) It's still lady focused which is really helpful.

I'm putting it off as well. I read about half of Expecting Better back when I first started TTC. I had a friend that really liked "Happiest Baby on the Block."

If anyone is interested in communication for birth to 4 years (let me get on my soapbox), I highly suggest It Takes Two to Talk by the Hanen Centre. It's marketed toward parents of children with language delays, but it's helpful for everyone wanting to promote their child's language development. I teach the class to parents, and one of the things I consistently hear is "Why isn't this for everyone?," "I wish I knew this for my other kids," and my favorite: "I want to have another kid again and try this from the beginning!"

Oh! What an impossible diagnosis! It is tragic. My heart goes out to you.

My husband and I have been through a TFMR loss--for CHD and other issues. When I got my son's final diagnosis, I felt so devastated and so robbed. If you want the [many, many] details (and the kind responses from other TFMR moms) you can read my intro post here.

If you're deciding about induction vs. D&E, you might find this post from a few weeks ago, asking about induction experiences, helpful. The details of my experience and others are there. For other women, D&E is the better option, medically and mentally. Do what feels best for you.

After my loss, reading other people's stories helped me a lot. Ending a Wanted Pregnancy had a lot of helpful material (and they have a private Facebook support group).

Our hospital gave us A Time to Decide A Time to Heal, and our library had The Prenatal Bombshell. Both are helpful, non-judgmental guides for navigating this type of loss. The former is a short quick read that my husband and I did together. The latter is a more detailed book that covers everything including TFMR, perinatal hospice, having a child with disabilities, and what comes after these things.

Our hospital also connected us with a bereavement counselor who we/I have seen monthly (free). And we've also gone regularly to a parent support group for general perinatal loss. (The closest one specifically for TFMR is 2 hrs away from us, but you might live closer to one.)

I hope you and your husband take care of yourselves and each other this coming week. And remember, even if you're not sure about future children, this subreddit is still here to support you while you grieve...the Thursday thread was created explicitly for that.

I absolutely LOVED Tiny Beautiful Things. It is kind of a different read, as it's a series of advice columns done by the author Cheryl Strayed (who wrote Wild). I read it shortly after my MC, and it was quite perfect as there were two columns on MC/infant loss that were beautiful to read. I was bawling in the best way.

Agh! I'm sorry, love!

If it helps I can share what has been helping me, but of course we're all different. I take a lot of B6, and chew Gin-Gins. I also try to never get too hungry because that's when the nausea gets me. Well, that and swallowing vitamins. I don't know if any of this will be helpful — one of my friends had hyperemesis gravidarum and she'd have laughed at this advice. I'm sorry this is so awful!

I recommend this: https://www.amazon.com/Spatone-Apple-taste-vitamin-sachets/dp/B004S1Q0V0

It's awesome! You need to take 2 sachets daily and it basically tastes like apple juice (well... a very sour apple juice). I found it at a local health store. I'm vegetarian too and found myself having dizzy/faint spells in the first trimester and felt it was due to iron deficiency (I had anemia in the past so knew how it felt). I couldn't find any iron supplements that wouldn't make be gag/ throw up until I found this. Totally recommend it (unless you don't like apple juice haha). Also, apparently it's gentle on stomach and because it has added vitamin C it absorbs really well!

edit. at week 12 (after I've been taking this supplement for a bit) I had my first blood test and it showed good iron levels!

It primarily focuses on infertility, but I really appreciated what "Conquering Infertility" by Dr. Alice Domar had to offer. She was the founder of the nationally reknowned mind body center in Boston. The book provides so many helpful mindfulness strategies, I have been using them often, and they are consistent with what I have worked on with my therapist, too. There is also a newer free app called FertiCalm that Dr. Domar is a part of, and it has a number of recordings with her mini-mindfulness strategies, longer guided relaxations, and such. The app is free and requires minimal permissions (aka, they are not selling your data).

I bought these jeans and then a pair of khaki capri pants (why so hard to find capris!?) from Motherhood Maternity. I can't seem to find them again... I wear capris as my summer work uniform so I bought another pair. The jeans are a little baggy right now and I don't love bootcut but they are comfortable. And I like being comfortable. I picked up some graphic tees and tunics from Uniqlo and I think those will be good to tide me over.

I'm so sorry. Grief isn't usually linear and can come like waves. I love the book "miscarriages: women sharing from the heart" and highly recommend it as it normalizes a lot of the grief and feelings around loss. Counseling can also be helpful if that's an option for you.

Miscarriage: Women Sharing from... https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0471548340?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I’m so sorry. I also had very low amniotic fluid and went through a TFMR with my son at 21 weeks just three weeks ago. It’s a terrible nightmare, and I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself here.

This group here is a great resource for any questions you may have about what comes next. Someone recommended to me the book The Prenatal Bombshell. I skimmed some of it but we made our decision and I thought reading it would just make me feel sad.

This is really hard. Know that you don’t hand to go through it alone. Sending hugs and love to you and your family 💜

Hi Pointy, I'm so sorry you're here. I tx at 17w in December 2018 for chromosomal abnormalities. Lots of amazing posters responded to my post here seeking D&E experiences. I recommend reading through. I'm here if you want to PM me to chat, or if you have specific questions. Please reach out to this community for support along your way.

I second Poke that for me, the emotional part has been waaaay worse than the physical part. I actually couldn't believe how normal (physically) I felt the day after my surgery. The grief, though, has been consuming. I recommend this book. It's helped me immensely normalize the grieving/healing process.

As for shows - I always recommend another run through The Office (9 seasons on Netflix!) as well as The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

I don't think you will be. :) I highly recommend this book, as well as Tiny, Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed. They've helped me hold on to a flicker of compassion.
https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Infertility-Miscarriage-Neonatal-Loss/dp/143381692X

I used easy@home: https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Home-Ovulation-Strips-Pregnancy/dp/B00DOJG6RA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

You can find wondfos on Amazon too.

I gave my leftovers away to a friend when she visited/hosted Max's baby shower. At 36 weeks I thought I was in the clear and would never need them again.

Wow do I have so much baggage.

Amazon has them for extremely cheap. They are just little dippers without the plastic case and usually have pregnancy tests in the same box. I used these: Easy@Home 50 Ovulation Test Strips and 20 Pregnancy Test Strips Combo Kit, (50 LH + 20 HCG) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DOJG6RA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_.YoPDbZBRXCR6

I read this book while I was home alone. It helped validate some of my feelings and keep the scarier ones at bay: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1555913024/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1484573771&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=empty+cradle+broken+heart&dpPl=1&dpID=41x6Cz1hVkL&ref=plSrch