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We are having my cousin read A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton. It's super cute!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0740763083/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_MadsNQTIcpK7X


The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice.
Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur.
She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur.
She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur.
For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides,
I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place.

For Bridesmaids, we gave:

• A personal, handwritten note in a card, thanking them for being a part of our day
  
  
• Tote bag personalized with their first initial (the rest of their gifts were inside)
  
  
• Himalayan rock salt candle holders with peach-scented tealights
  
  
• Bottle of their favorite wine
  
  
• Stemless wine glass that said "Liquid Therapy"
  
  
• Gift card to their favorite store
  
  
• A fidget spinner that said "Thanks for putting up with us! ~ Love [Our initials] (This was more of a joke gift and because we wanted to "date" the wedding with something silly)
  
  I also gave each one an additional personal gift or two:
  
  BM 1 (Also FSIL):
  
  
• A geode bottle stopper (we have a shared interest in geology and she loves wine)
  
  
• A keychain that said "Not sister by blood, but sister by heart"
  
  BM 2 (BFF): She and her husband had told us they were expecting over dinner by asking us "if they could bring someone to the wedding," so we ran with that:
  
  
• A personalized onesie that said "I was the 'Something New' at WaitForIttttt and WaitForItttttDH's Wedding"
  
  
• A bottle of sparkling cider labeled "Before Baby" for her to enjoy in her wine glass until she gives birth
  
  MOH (Cousin but like a sister):
  
  
• A butterfly-shaped jewelry box that said "A Sister is a gift to the heart"
  
  
• Two bouquet charms (I put them in the jewelry box) with photos of her Mom and Dad who passed, so they would be with her at our wedding and she could use them again one day when she gets married
  
  I also paid for their hair and makeup, but I didn't really consider that part of their "gift" (even though I didn't require them to get hair and makeup).
  
  For Groomsmen:
  
  
• A personal, handwritten note in a card, thanking them for being a part of our day
  
  
• Bottle of their favorite alcohol
  
  
• Fun shot glasses. We found ones on Etsy that were themed to shows they liked (Game of Thrones one that said "Crows before Hoes," a Darth Vader one that said, "Who's your daddy?", etc.
  
  
• A gift card to their favorite store
  
  
• A fidget spinner that said "Thanks for putting up with us! ~ Love [Our initials] (This was more of a joke gift and because we wanted to "date" the wedding with something silly)
  
  BM:
  
  
• Also got some art books from Japan that we knew he wanted for a while
  
  Parents:
  
  
• We had paintings made from their wedding photos. They were a huge hit!
  
  Edit: Forgot our readers and flower "girls" (who were adult men). We also got them all their favorite alcoholic beverages and fun shot glasses.

Optimistic guest list & budget first.

• Optimistic guest list:
  All the family & friends you would love to invite if money and space were no object. Get them all in there, all the cousins, first cousins once removed, second cousins, grand aunts/uncles, family friends, college friends, high schools friends, etc. etc. Use this as your first draft to start narrowing down later for your final list. It's helpful to start noting who are "Must Invite"s, "Really Want"s, and "Not Necessary"s now, but this step can wait until later - Labeling sounds harsh, but if you have a first draft of 300+ guests and can't afford that, then you have some tough decisions to make sooner or later, and no one needs to know they were ever even on the first draft as a Not Necessary.
  
  
• Initial Budget:
  First part is to figure out: Who's paying? Your parents? Your SO's parents? Both parents? You guys? A combination of contributions? Have the money talk. It's only awkward if you make it awkward - there are plenty of resources online that will help you approach this subject with your families.
  If you decided to go with paying for it yourselves, start figuring out how much you each can put away each month. Set a rough timeline (e.g. Fall 2018), find out how much you can save by the end of that timeline. Not comfortable with the number? Time to consider pushing the timeline out and seeing what that number would look like.
  
  This is really to get a sense of the amount you can afford. The step after this is researching your options.
  
  

1. Sit down with your SO and discuss what sort of wedding you'd like.
   
   A courthouse wedding?
   An intimate 20-person wedding at your favorite local pub?
   A grand Catholic Church wedding with 200 guests at a swanky downtown hotel?
   A wedding on a ranch?
   A rustic barn wedding?
   A tropical destination wedding?
   
   
2. After getting an idea what you'd like you can begin researching the cost of that kind of wedding. Ask people you know who have weddings that you liked; if you ask respectfully many are just fine sharing what their budget was.
   
   If it turns out the wedding you really wished for is way out of your price range, then by now you should start being able to assess the cost in your area. You can pivot and go a different route for something that's in your budget, or begin prioritizing things as are important and less important to you to decide where you can slash your budget and save costs. (e.g. Save ~$400 by going with paperless Save the Dates and Invitations, do Online RSVPs, get a pre-owned wedding gown, etc.)
   
   
3. Begin slimming down your guest list - one of the simplest ways to cut costs, and one of the most difficult things to do.
   
   ---
   
   I'm getting a little ahead, don't be overwhelmed - you'll learn things in stages, and the more you learn the more questions you'll have. You'll start getting a feel for the terminology and things may begin to feel a little more comfortable.
   
   Some thoughts on the Initial Budget
   
   

• If your families offer to contribute a monetary sum, beware: if your families are drama prone or manipulative they will use this against you. They will feel entitled to not only having their opinions and suggestions heard, but have them acted upon regardless if it's what you wished for your wedding. You can, and should, set boundaries early - but it will not change anything if they have a history of acting in such a matter.
  
• Do not go into debt for your wedding. Do not take out a personal loan. Do not put massive charges on a credit card that you aren't able to pay off in a timely manner.
  
  Other, less stressful, starting points:
  
  
• Start browsing Pinterest for theme and color ideas, dress looks, cakes, venue decor, bridal hair, etc. You'll end up forgetting about 98% of these, but it's a nice way to fill the time.
  
• Pick up some planning guides or books; one that is recommended here is A Practical Wedding. Start reading or check out articles online to get a sense of what all is involved.
  
• Lurk Weddit! And post! Ask questions, contribute in conversations.
  
  Small advice: When you're browsing options and upset at settling on something due to price, schedule, practicality, etc. remember this - your guests will never know what an option could have been, they will only know what you went with. They will not be comparing the options, and have no chance to be upset. Don't get hung up on something out of reach.

Pretty ring! If I were you, I'd put the band away and save it to use for a wedding band. Then your to-do list is one down already.

You don't have to do a dance reception. You also don't have to invite everyone you can think of. If you keep it small, and are very selective about what traditions are important to you (e.g. maybe cake is a must-have, but it's not important to you to have a ballgown), then you can definitely do it for 10k. Maybe an outdoor ceremony followed by dinner at a ritzy restaurant? Or a church ceremony with a champagne brunch? A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene was really helpful when we started planning - you should both read it. Throw it on your Christmas list - my mom LOVED being able to buy me something wedding-related so soon after our December engagement last year. :)
I'd also highly recommend planning as a team. People say that your engagement is indicative of how you'll function in your marriage. It kills me to see posts of brides who feel isolated and overworked because their partners aren't interested in helping at all. The wedding is not a surprise party for the groom!

Edit: I should also add that the dedicated email has been awesome. We both put the account on our phones, so when a vendor emails back, we're both in the loop. We also set up a Google voice number to give out at expos and venue open houses. It forwards to my number and makes it easy to screen cold calls, but I can still answer calls from important vendors.

Congrats!!! Your ring is beautiful!

When I was planning I found A Practical Wedding (the website and a book) to be super helpful. I used this one: A Practical Wedding Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating the Wedding You Want with the Budget You've Got (without Losing Your Mind in the Process).

Also, if you are interested in very particular etiquette questions and being fairly traditional, then the Emily Post Wedding Etiquette book is pretty comprehensive.

Keep in mind you may be able to find some of these books at your local library, and there is tons of info online as well. In terms of forums/boards, anecdotally I feel like the WeddingBee and WeddingWire boards (which sometimes pop up if you Google a certain question) lean pretty traditional/old school picky, whereas this subreddit is (in general) more open-minded/contemporary.

Checklists on websites like The Knot, WeddingWire, Zola, etc. can be helpful to stay on track (but don't hesitate to delete any items that don't apply to you). I found this big picture flowchart from APW to be grounding when I first started planning, and then when I felt ready I dove into the more detailed checklists. Happy planning!

Congrats!

Establishing a budget is such a weird process. You have no idea what things cost, and when you reach out to vendors, they always want to know your budget.

What I did was start with a baseline. I knew there was a community on reddit called Weddingsunder10k. Because that seemed to be a huge separator, I started there and called that a budget-conscious wedding.

Then I started researching the cost of different things, starting with the venue. It helps if you create a draft guest list first, so you can get an idea of how many people you'd like there, and thus how many people you need to accommodate/feed etc. I made a spreadsheet using google sheets and contacted venues that had listed prices that were no more than half of that $10k budget I was starting with. Realistically I don't think a venue is going to be half of your budget, but that was the best place for me to start.

A really great tool is joining a local wedding planning Facebook group. Mine has posts from couples all the time looking for a specific vendor within your budget. A quick google search can also tell you the average prices of different vendors in your region. Prices may be a bit shocking at first, but know that these are people who are making a living in the wedding industry, and the hours they spend on your event go beyond just the event itself. I highly recommend checking on Jamie Wolfer's channel on youtube. She's a wedding planner that has videos on a huge variety of topics, including budgets. You can also search this sub for "budget breakdown" or "budget recap" posts to get an idea of the average cost of things.

I specifically chose to have a 2 year engagement so that I could save up enough to have the type of wedding I wanted. I looked at how much we could realistically put away each month, and how much that would add up to across the length of our engagement. It hasn't been a straightforward process- I've been temping and haven't had steady work for a while- but it helped us to break down exactly how much we need to be putting away each month.

The greatest tools I've found in planning are: A Practical Wedding Planner (book), Jamie Wolfer's Youtube Channel, Guest Perspective and Budget Breakdown posts on this sub, and Google sheets. I grabbed Offbeat Bride's spreadsheet templates and edited accordingly.

Can commiserate about mom being overbearing.

My advice to you (based on your description of your mom maybe this isn't a good idea—but it's what I wish I had done about six months ago) is to have a "boundaries" conversation with your mother. Tell her that you appreciate her input, but that you are going to be making final decisions on things, and she's going to have to deal with it. Nicer than that, but you know. Something along the lines of "all you want is for me to happy, right? Okay, well, I will be much happier if you let me make my own decisions like an adult."

It also might be worth mentioning that weddings are just DIFFERENT now than they were whenever she got married. Trends, and "traditions" come and go, but none of it really MATTERS other than what you want to do, as long as you can afford it.

I also recommend reading A Practical Wedding, and for further reading, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. These books cover the topics of how when people talk about wedding "traditions", they're really only talking about things that have happened specifically in the Western world, mostly in the last 50 years. Brides didn't even wear white until about 100 years ago. The most historically "traditional" wedding you could have would be in the best dress you already own, with some flowers picked from your front garden, and it would take place in your living room.

I can't tell you how many times my mom pulled the "tradition" card during my planning and I called bullshit. It's liberating—try it!

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text...got carried away.

Ok, let's hope the reddit gods let me format this properly on the first try.

It took me a total of 2 weekends to do this. One with my MOH making the pocket folds and gluing on the gold mats. A second to glue the invitations, insert the cards, and do the belly bands and wax seals.

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Pocket Folds

• Recollections Signature Shimmer Paper in 12x12 -- $0.69/sheet but we bought them during a 40% off sale. I forget what color I got but it's the black shimmery one usually at the end of the aisle
  
  
• Sample Pocketfold from CardsandPockets.com
  
  
• Edge Punch Stamp
  
  
• Tombow permanent and temporary glue This glue actually worked VERY well and apparently can be dried and then removable or you can glue wet an it is permanent. WARNING: it is very permanent. I used exactly 2 tubes for 75 invitations.
  
  I ordered a pocketfold sample from cardsandpockets.com and my MOH unfolded it along the glue lines to make a template. Then we traced it (backwards) onto the back of the shimmer paper. You're supposed to use a paper scorer but she used a butter knife and a ruler to score the folds on the pocket folds. Once they were folded I stamped the edge of the smaller side of the pocket fold. About 10 pockets in we realized they would look better if we stamped the inside pocket too, so we started tracing straight across the inside pocket instead of in a V shape.
  
  The most difficult part of this process (unless you're me and don't want to be trusted with drawing and folding straight lines) was that the 12x12 paper was JUST too small to have enough paper for the outside of the pocket to have a fold in it. I'm not sure I explained that well but basically you need to glue in 2 small pieces of paper so that your pocket can be an envelope and not just a flap of paper. So my MOH had cut out a ton of skinny chevron-shaped pieces of paper from the pocketfold scraps. Finally we glued the chevron pieces onto the flap and onto the card.
  
  If you've done everything right, the middle panel measures 5x7, the right panel is 4x7, and the left panel is 3x7. The 4x7 side is where the pocket is, and your cards should be 3.5" wide. Your border punch will go on the 3" side
  
  -----
  
  For the gold matting I used 12x12 open stock glitter paper from Michael's located in the same aisle as the shimmer paper. They have tons of different glitter colors and I think the one I used was champagne. These are $1.99 each but you get 4 mats (4 7/8" x 6 7/8") out of each 12x12 sheet. When you do them right you wind up with these 5" gold squares that seem like a waste to throw out but we never found any use for them. You could probably make these 4 7/8" x 7" but they need to be slightly skinnier than the 5x7 mat otherwise they won't fold properly.
  
  I placed glue in the corner and glue them into the middle of the mat.
  
  --------
  
  After we did that we sat them under text books overnight so they would flatten out nicely.
  
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  INVITATION DESIGN!
  
  My childhood friend and awesome artist, Alyssa Bermudez, designed the invitations. I'd seen a few samples I liked and she has recently gotten into making invitation sets, so I asked her to do ours. She was so incredibly accommodating to my pickiness but was also really on target with what we wanted.
  
  If this violates the sub's rules I AM SO SORRY let me know and I will take out this plug for her but she did our set for free and I would like to thank her with some publicity.
  
  Invitation was printed on 4x6 paper so you could see more of the gold matting
  
  Travel/Registry card on 3.5 x 7 paper
  
  Weekend Events card on 3.5x6.25 paper
  
  RSVP front and back. I went double-sided post card on 3.5x5.5 paper which cut down on costs in 2 places. 1) a postcard stamp is less than a letter stamp. 2) we didn't need envelopes.
  
  I did all of our printing through CardsandPockets.com on Crystal paper. You could save money printing yourself but I didn't trust myself to cut down paper or print properly so it was worth paying for those to be done. Their proofs were $5 a piece and I could have gone without a proof for all but the invites but still worth it. ALSO they sent me like 20 more of each print than I ordered so order the exact number you need, there will be plenty of extras.
  
  -----
  
  Envelopes I also did through cards and pockets. I ordered their sand envelopes in A7 and paid for return address printing. They send you a proof of that via email. My MOH did all of the calligraphy in a sharpie which turned out better than any of the ink we tried and went faster than ink and pen calligraphy.
  
  ---
  
  Belly Bands and Gold Seals
  
  
• Recollections Signature Shimmer Paper in 12x12 I think we bought white
  
  
• Outop Vintage Retro Wooden Alphabet Letter Initial Wax Classic Sealing Wax Seal Stamp (T)
  
  
• Shappy 10 Pieces Sealing Wax Sticks Flexible Glue Gun Wax for Retro Vintage Wax Seal Stamp and Letter (Gold)
  
  
• Glue gun that will only ever be used for wax glue sticks
  
  For the belly bands I used some more of the Michael's open stock shimmer paper. I used a big paper cutter at work and made 1"x12" strips. The only problem is that the wax seal is wider than 1" so it would have sealed the belly band to the envelope and I didn't want the pocketfold being ripped after all of that work. So here's how I did the seals:
  
  I got a flat piece of aluminum foil to place the hot wax on. The stamp sat in a cup filled with ice, I dried it off on a rag, and then stamped the hot wax. The ice on the stamp made the wax cool faster and kept each subsequent stamp from being tacky. I saw this on YouTube and it made the biggest difference because the metal stamp did get really warm. Then I placed the aluminum foil in the freezer and was able to peel of the seals no problem.
  
  Each belly band got folded and glued down, and then a seal was glued onto the belly band with the same Tombow glue.

More info below!:

I used this gel: https://www.amazon.com/Dri-Splendor-Silica-Gel-10233/dp/B077GVZ1ML *I bought 2 bags at a chain craft store, but the cashier only rang up one. I went back in when I realized what happened and they just told me to keep the second bag and thanked me for my honesty. So I had two bags but only paid for one.

This Tupperware bin: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00PG0DUZQ/

And this shadow box: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NASEI8Y/

The night of the wedding I kept my bouquet in water in a vase. The following afternoon when we got to our “mini moon” Airbnb I set up the flowers in the gel. I put a small layer of silica, then a few flat leaves of greenery, then another layer of gel, then my bigger blooms. For the flowers that were more open, I tried to fill them with gel and then place them in the container on their side so that they’d maintain their shape. Otherwise I mostly laid them face down. This might have smushed them a little flat, but I didn’t mind because that’s how I wanted them displayed in the box. I just did layers of flowers and gel until the bin was full. I’d say it took about half of my bouquet, using all the big blooms that weren’t super super delicate (I just tossed those super super delicate ones because they’d fall apart), and almost all of the tougher smaller blooms. I cut the heads off each flower leaving a tiny bit of stem to use as a small handle.

I let the bin sit for about 2.5 weeks. Then I opened the bin and spooned gel back into the bags it originally came in. I was really careful to do it slowly and carefully so that I wouldn’t damage the flowers. They’re very brittle and delicate, but sturdy enough that I could unearth most of the bloom by spooning the gel around it, then pulling up on the bit of the stem that I left. I dug out all of the flowers before placing them in the box. The annoying thing is that little beads of gel get into the crevices of all the flower petals, so I used a toothpick to fully remove all the beads, but even still missed a few.

Once I had them all out, I arranged them in the box, trying to pack them densely enough that when I moved the box to stand it upright, they wouldn’t shift. I ended up clipping some bits from the other bouquet that I hang dried (upside down, in a room with little/no sunlight, 2.5 weeks) to fully fill it. It was really nice to have that extra bouquet to use for filler so I’m really glad I brought a bridesmaid bouquet home too. Most of my flowers were on the smaller side because I wanted a lot of texture in my bouquet. It probably helped that all of my blooms were on the smaller/shorter side...if you have larger blooms you may need to squash them more, put them on their side, or just use a deeper box.

Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas! :) Here are a couple things I liked in my planning:

1. Wedding Planning for the Busy Feminist - Practical and funny and very useful day-of timelines. Also a great appendix of vendors, designers, etc. https://www.amazon.com/Wedding-Planning-Feminist-Amanda-Pendolino/dp/1980821887
   
   
2. The Knot's Planning Binder - Great for organizing contracts and business cards, I liked their color swatches for choosing coordinating colors. https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-binder/dp/0770433367
   
   
3. Budget Savvy Bride Wedding Planner & Organizer https://www.amazon.com/Budget-Savvy-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-Checklists/dp/1623159857
   
   
4. K Company Smash Book - My sister in law gave me this - a great place to collect all sorts of mementos as you're planning your special day! https://www.amazon.com/K-Company-30-659391-CompanySMASH-Wedding/dp/B007HONAV8/
   
   ​

My favorite gift I got myself is the "Diamond Dazzle Stick." I also got it as a stocking stuffer for my brother's new fiancee.

https://www.amazon.com/Connoisseurs-1050-Diamond-Dazzle-Stick/dp/B00459VM6I

​

If you know she plans to get engagement photos taken, you could get her a gift certificate (or a homemade one so she can redeem it wherever she wants) to get her hair and/or makeup done for the photos? Ooh when I first got engaged I was obsessed with having my nails on point all the time so in general if she likes manicures you could get her a gift card to her local nail salon!

​

You could also give her cutesy homemade coupons for things like "good for 1 hour of helping you sift through vendor reviews on the Knot" or "good for 1 hour of listening to you vent about wedding stress."

Seriously, just buy the A Practical Wedding Planner It lines out everything, keeps you in check, and explains why things are the way they are. WW and the Knot can be really catty and awful.
The wedding email address is a godsend. It was nice to have everything in one place for easy searching.

My number one tip is to figure out how many people you realistically need to invite. Seriously, it's nice to know what you expect and what your family expects so you can start planning around that. You don't want to fall in love with a venue that can only hold 50 people if you need to invite 200 of your closest friends and relatives. I actually made our families give us tiered lists of 1) Family 2) Friends who are like family 3) Friends so we could get a good rough estimate. Knowing family expectation(if you are including family at all) will save you a ton of drama down the line. Once you have a rough number you can start making everything else fall into place.

Haha I think we're all rookies here, but I got lucky in the sense that I OBSESS over every little detail before I'll make a decision. It's normally pretty annoying in everyday life, but I guess in this case, it was helpful. I also bought a planning guide from A Practical Wedding - honestly, it's been pretty helpful so far, especially with getting started, and pointing out things you might not normally think about. Just curious - around what time are you guys planning to get married? Just thinking we may be able to help each other out along the way, sharing info and whatnot.

Thanks!

Vellum

Navy envelopes
The envelopes were high quality. They are very matte and tended to show fingerprints, so I got in the habit of washing my hands before handling. Problem was solved!

Wax stamp
This was a custom order, the seller was great in accommodating the changes I wanted.

First wax purchased
This wax was really easy to use and foolproof. The gold wasn’t very metallic or pretty though. When I ran out I ordered a different brand and the color was absolutely gorgeous. Kind of bummed I didn’t use from the beginning. I will say that it did smudge more easily and there was more of a learning curve.

Hope this helps!

I cannot afford a wedding planner. The thing is, people did in fact manage to get married just fine without them. I am however EXTREMELY fortunate to have very willing helpers, all of whom have either planned a wedding or gotten married, and thus they all know what to expect and how to help. And I'm personally a very crafty person so I'm not scared of DIY projects, and I'm very organized so I'm confident everything will go well.

If you want a stress-free planning process, where someone literally just lets you make decisions within your budget, they can be worth it. My friend had one for her wedding, and she did help with planning a LOT, especially since my friend had to plan her wedding from afar.

It's 100% possible to plan a wedding yourself in 8 months. You just have to figure out the venue and date, and then after that everything else kind of falls into place based on those parameters.

I recommend looking at this wedding planning book: A Practical Wedding Planner: A Step By Step Guide to Creating the Wedding you Want with the Budget You've Got (without losing your mind in the process)

It really helped me out, tbh, to make the decisions I needed to make about the wedding. I think it might give you a more realistic idea of all the different ways to plan a wedding, and how to best go about each step.

The beginning was very difficult--trying to lock down ideas, a budget, guest list, and vendors... Then about two months before the wedding (when a things dependent on a timeline started rolling out), my stress kicked back into high gear.

I feel very lucky that I have a supportive family and bridal party, but FH just...doesn't. I'm kind of resentful on his behalf, tbh. Spending so much money (which we have) is also something I don't feel so great about. I tried to roll with punches and keep things low-key, but I can't help but feel like the ante has been upped hardcore. I'm afraid and stressed that expectations won't be met and somehow the day will be RUINED.

I get married on September 30, and I really, really, really wish we had just eloped. </vent>

But! You asked for advice. Here's what I'd recommend:

1. Choose a long engagement. This helps you plan and save $$.
   
2. Make a shared email account for you both to use and contact vendors.
   
3. Google sheets are your friend! Keep lists of people you've contacted, their quotes, etc. It's easy to forget since vendors won't get in touch ASAP, or some will be pushy, etc.
   
4. Prioritize early and often. Make decisions and move on.
   
5. Hire a coordinator. Ours was the best money we've spent this whole process.
   
6. Don't procrastinate!
   
   I'd also recommend reading one of Meg Keene's books about wedding planning.
   
   And finally...congratulations!

Many wedding invitations are already in larger/heavier envelopes than regular mail—the seal will make it weigh more but if done properly, won't make the thickness of the envelope exceed the ¼ inch maximum requirement at the USPS (can't speak to other countries—or to international rates).

I send sealed envelopes through the mail all the time with no issues.

Definitely use mail-safe wax as it's designed not to crumble upon interaction (as true sealing wax is). For speed, you can use glue gun sealing wax (any "glue gun sealing wax" will be supple enough to survive the USPS), but the quality of the wax is often not as good.

As to hand-cancelling, which is NOT necessary but can be requested, it's free. You just tell the postal worker at the desk that you'd like something hand-cancelled and they do it. I've never done it with more than a few letters, though.

Consider also using the seals for your thank you notes! I've received a number of thank you notes sealed with the new last-name-letter and absolutely love it :)

First off, there is no perfect. We're lead to believe every wedding decision should be magical. Wow that's a lot of pressure to feel divinely inspired about minutia. In reality, you're simply planning a party and celebration of your relationship. That practical view doesn't make it any less wonderful!

Just remember that you can't make a wrong decision because there is no rigid, celestial plan - we're all making it up as we go! Some choices will matter to you more than others. It's really okay if you don't care about table linens, programs, or boutonnieres. Go with something you and your FH likes and move on happily.

I'm not sure how far into wedding planning you are, but the first thing you may need to do is get a general sense of the type of wedding you want. It's really hard to make decisions about little stuff when you don't have a big picture view in mind. I read A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene and it really helped me to envision the type of wedding I wanted.

Good luck and congrats!

We also started some of the planning stuff before we announced to everyone that we were engaged and I think we really needed to sit down and hash out some of the hopes and dreams we had about the wedding (the A Practical Wedding book was super helpful in this aspect) because we had some mismatch in our ideas. We both thought that the other wanted a much more traditional wedding than we actually wanted and we might have planned a different wedding that neither of us would have liked as much if we hadn't spent some time thinking and talking by ourselves with no family input before acting (and touring venues before paying).

If you've already had some really honest convos, great, if not, maybe you should take some time to luxuriate in being engaged and figuring out what you want before jumping the gun.

Congratulations.

If you just got engaged yesterday, I would take a few steps back and take some time (even a short time) to enjoy being engaged.

I also recommend you purchase this planner which will guide you through the process and encourage the two of you to start with the most important things.

https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Planner-Step-Step-ebook/dp/B012271KZW

It will give you answers to all your questions.(like how much having 14 in the wedding party will cost you = 28 people at the rehearsal dinner, 14 wedding party gifts, 4 tables to accommodate the wedding [arty and their SO's etc.

Readings-wise, I do my requisite duty to support Edward Monkton's A Lovely Love Story, full text available online here, also known as "the lovely other dinosaur story."

Lighting the Beacons is possibly my favorite movie scene of all time, from a cinematic perspective, but the music isn't quite my personal taste for a wedding processional. But that's me! If you want to stick with LOTR, what about the Rohan theme (long version, short version) or Concerning Hobbits? And I would love to go to the wedding where the full party or bride walks in to Misty Mountains Cold.

For readings, we will use 1 Corinthians 13 and the dinosaur story. I will probably walk in to something from the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack, but I bounce back and forth on what. "Skyfall" by Adele is an outside contender. We have no wedding party; FH hasn't decided yet whether he'll walk down the aisle with his mom, use his own music, use the same song I do, etc.

We'll walk out to Hooked on a Feeling; that's not a question. :)

I purchased the Knot's binder. Though it's been supremely helpful at keeping me organized, make sure she takes some of the info it includes with a grain of salt. For example, it has wonderful budget guides. However, it accounts for expenses that don't gel with everyone's vision for their wedding day...she should feel free to edit the tools it provides, or not use the ones she doesn't need.

Also, A Practical Wedding has been a wonderful resource to keep me grounded and focused on what matters to my FH and I.

Yes! It isn't easy (I get a bit too impatient) but I have had success with a simple hand steamer. You can get them for very inexpensive on Amazon (I have something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Lemontec-Portable-Handheld-Powerful-Capacity/dp/B07DHWW23K/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1549574672&sr=8-4&keywords=steamer+clothing+handheld Good luck!

You are in great shape with inroads on some of those things already! The rest of it -- just start jotting down notes. I found it helpful to deal with things in clusters, like "people we need to hire" and "stuff we need to buy" and "things we need to make", instead of a huge flat list. One chunk at a time.

The Practical Wedding book was quite helpful too, particularly the first couple of chapters on how to get started and how to handle the inevitable list of things the wedding industry says you need to do. I really heartily recommend their philosophy of "sit down with your fiance and figure out the desired vibe of the wedding before you do anything else." It helps the other decisions fall into place. (No, we don't need sparkly chandeliers or an uber-beaded ball gown for our casual vibe wedding.)

Aw, thank you!!

I really like the look of crepe and tissue paper flowers. And the supplies are super cheap too. I actually made rose buds from the Lia Griffith site but used tissue paper instead (those are the hand drawn templates I made in picture four).


I've been using the exquisite book of paper flowers and Paper to Petal. The Exquisite book has really pretty flowers and good technique. I don't love most of the flowers in the Paper to Petal book but it has good info on technique. Based on these two books, I've also made up my own flowers too.

I'm gong to go a little different than some of the other commenters here because i'm going to assume he's not normally like this and you want to marry him because he's generally a good partner and a great guy.

​

I'd recommend getting the A practical wedding planner and going through the first chapter together. The first exercises are writing a "mission statement",laying out your individual and joint priorities for the day, and then going through and circling/crossing out things that you do/don't care about.

​

get on the same page together and set some boundaries for wedding planning. For example with my fiance if he's not in the mood/too overwhelmed in life to wedding plan he tells me that it's up to him to restart the conversation better. I know it's not me and we'll have the conversation later.

​

​

alsooo as someone who's backpacked through europe pretty extensively I can say that you CAN do it pretty cheaply, but that does mean setting a daily budget for food (depends on the country how much you'll need) and if you stay in hostels it can be $20-40 a night (depends on the country!) but that might not be the most romantic if you're sharing a room with strangers for a good deal!

I would try getting a large barreled clipless curler and practicing with it.

I obviously don't know exactly what your issues are with curls, but I also highly, highly, highly, highly suggest a product called "Lottabody." I have very, very fine hair that will not hold curl without it. It works better than any sprays or creams or mousses I've tried, and it doesn't make your hair crunchy. https://www.amazon.com/LOTTABODY-Setting-Professional-Concentrated-Formula/dp/B000S08FPY

I'm not good at makeup either. But I find that using high-quality products does help and I don't try and reinvent any wheels. Like, I can put on bb cream, eyebrow powder, mascara, and lip product. I don't do it every day (I'm not really a makeup person and my skin is generally pretty OK), but I look reasonably good with it on. Again. Simple.

I've just started reading their book (this one, not sure what the new book is like) and it actually has a ton of suggestions that are really helpful.

My favorite one: print out one of those ridiculous lists of things you need to do during wedding planning--you know, one that includes color coordinating everything and "searching for the right calligrapher." Take a pen and cross out all the things you don't need or want at your wedding (probs the calligrapher). Then go through what's left on the list, and circle the things you truly care about. For us, it was good food and a pretty venue that fit all our guests. Everything you haven't circled (for me, flowers, linens, colors) becomes a lower priority, and you have officially released yourself from stressing about those things. I've found this single activity incredibly helpful, since the wedding industry wants you to feel like every little detail must be agonized over and perfected.

Oh also, they have a mantra, "you won't remember how your wedding looked, you'll remember how it felt." And I like that.

It's a lot. I picked up some books at the library and just started to read a bit. I think this one has been good along with the planner: https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=Meg+Keene&qid=1571852948&s=books&sr=1-2

I like that they provide some guidance on figuring out the big picture and moving from there.
I also downloaded their spreadsheets and the knot app. They have a checklist option which seems nice and not overwhelming. And you get the bonus of feeling like you make progress. It's like 'look at dresses online' or other smaller easier tasks.

Take at least a month and just enjoy being engaged. Spend time being happy with your finace. Casually read wedding blogs and books if you feel like it. Just relax and enjoy it for a bit!

Recommended reading: A Practical Wedding Planner

I don't have any experience to offer because I'm pre-engagment even and just stalk these wedding boards (for now) BUT I highly recommend www.apracticalwedding.com and also her book which is coming out very soon, because it isn't just about wedding planning, it is also about navigating the emotional terrain that comes with getting engaged, wedding planning, and even being newly married. Sounds like some of your friends could have used a guide like that.

I Like You
http://www.vanessawhartoncelebrant.com.au/a-super-cute-reading-i-like-you-by-sandol-stoddard-warburg/

https://www.amazon.com/Like-You-Sandol-Stoddard-Warburg/dp/0395071763
and

A Lovely Love Story
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=89EzCFxPJxg

https://www.amazon.com/Lovely-Love-Story-Edward-Monkton/dp/0740763083/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DDN9Z990FTHQR8QK3YN3
Are adorable.

Bonus: ALLS is about dinosaurs!! (Though you may want to customize some of the language about shopping or whatever to suit your personalities, since it's a bit gender stereotyped.)

I just got this story for my FH for our engagement-versary, and I think it would make such a cute reading. It's called A Lovely Love Story, and it's ADORABLE and funny (you can read it in full here).

Edit: added a word or two

I used about three boxes of this silica gel. You can get it at Michaels too.
Https://www.amazon.com/Activa-Silica-Flower-Drying-Pound/dp/B001H7D0LQ

I did the dry method, so no microwaving the gel, and I left them in for about two weeks. The roses turned out really well but my hydrangea fell apart quite a bit. That's probably because I waited a couple of days after the wedding to do it and hydrangeas are really tempermental.

I used this shadow box and removed the inner insert and frame because the flowers were a little too tall. I just used hot glue to attach the flowers to the frame. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00NASEI8Y

Hope that helps. Good luck!

What about a wedding planner book? https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155 I've heard great things about this one.

Could go a little fun/silly and buy her one of those tumblers or mugs that say things like "Bride to Be" or "Does This Ring Make Me Look Engaged" or something.

Could also do one of those coupon books. "This Coupon is good for One (1) Hour of Wedding Planning Assistance" or "This Coupon is good for Fifty (50) Hand-Addressed Envelopes" or stuff like that?

Definitely look into it! I really recommend the glue gun wax too (just make sure you get a full-size, low-temp glue gun, not the mini versions). Much easier to control the wax amounts than with a spoon, and a lot faster. And if you like doing crafty type stuff, I honestly think it was a lot of fun making them all. :)

My future sister in law got us a bottle of champagne, a small cake to split, and bought me a bunch of bridal magazines - at that point I was so excited to get the magazines because planning was really just getting ideas and having fun with it. I'd get a few of those!

Now that I've been through the rigors of getting engaged and planning a wedding, I just bought the book version of A Practical Wedding for another friend who's temperament is similar to mine (see: is a fellow worrying introvert!)

I got a few wedding books and guides as gifts, mostly from the Knot, and while they were fun and helpful at first the timelines were kind of unrealistic and the budgeting pages, while there, just sort of assume you have $50k to drop on your wedding and want to do everything by the book. I wished I'd had a guide like A Practical Wedding earlier in the process!

I have an ebook of this, not the hard copy, but I am finding http://www.amazon.com/The-Wedding-Book-Big-Your/dp/0761139605 to be very, very thorough. The reviews about it not being helpful for small weddings are a bit off-base, too, so even if your wedding is smaller/more affordable I think it's still helpful. You'll just have some sections to skip if your wedding is less complex.

I actually find it overwhelmingly comprehensive at the moment, but it has brought up things that wouldn't have occurred to me. There are two pretty detailed timelines, one for a year-long engagement and one for shorter engagements, and for each vendor there's a checklist of things you should ask them about. I guess there's a companion ring-bound organizer, too, if you're into that. I haven't personally bought it so I don't know how helpful it is, but based on having read some of the book I like the author's approach and she knows her stuff.

A practical wedding book? It’s a big favorite. And depending on budget maybe a gift card to restaurant/takeout place. To help with planning exhaustion or just need a date but ‘saving for wedding’

Edited to add:
A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738215155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6trIDbQVC7HA8


This one is not a ‘planner’ but a guide.

Awesome! That sounds like it might be perfect! This one is what I was eyeing. We're having the ceremony outside and the reception in a tent about 50 yards away, so while not really elegant, we were thinking of entrusting someone to move it from the ceremony site over to the reception area after people start to disperse. It's in a public area so we have the opportunity of troubleshooting ahead of time to make sure it will work.

Those are very cute ideas!

Our wedding is coming up, but I've been way ahead of the game thinking about what to get for next year. I won a free boudoir shoot last summer, and intended to give him a couple of the prints on our first anniversary. But then I got them back and couldn't wait to show him! So now I have a few ideas:

• Filling out the book 642 Things About You (That I Love) or something similar. I've seen a couple of similar books.
  
• Painting a watercolor to go with the bulbasaur I made him this past Valentine's Day.
  
• This scratch off map, since we plan on travelling on our anniversary every year! I think this one is my favorite.

I got this Dazzle Stick from Amazon right after we got engaged. Best purchase I've made on Amazon in 2017, and since then have ordered it for each of my friends who have recently gotten engaged. 10/10 would buy again!

Wow just wow. Has she done anything for the wedding? Early 2019 is around the corner. What you have listed is tacky and crazy. I think you need to flat out tell her that her wants sound a bit unrealistic. Sorry but she does sound like a bridezilla. She is going to get mad at you and friendships are sometimes lost over weddings. Yes it’s tacky to invite people to a shower and engagement party and not wedding. Send her the book a practical wedding planner. Maybe she will get some hints.
https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Planner-Step-Step/dp/0738218421

The first wedding book I bought was "A Practical Wedding Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating the Wedding You Want with the Budget You've Got (without Losing Your Mind in the Process)."

I love the website and the book has been really helpful (though we're only really just getting started). I like how down to earth they are, how many different options are covered (many of which I didn't think about), the checklists, sample spreadsheets... it's great!

I just posted this on a different thread but theknot.com has an awesome binder with a timelines and super helpful guidelines on what a typical wedding would include. I would be lost without it. Right now it's only $18!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0770433367/ref=sxts1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483151154&sr=1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65

hi! i am all about planning as well. i have two wedding planning books at home. 1 my sister gave me so i cant really give that one away but the other... im PRETTY SURE is this one: https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-binder/dp/0770433367/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=38MC6XSKE7A1A6S3Q5RG

if you like it (and it was the one i can give away - i can check tonight) you can have it. just pay for shipping.

Not OP, but I have used Dr Georges Dental White Gel based on a video that Jaclyn Hill posted, and I think its great. Supposedly its the same stuff as crest white strips, but you use a tray so that it stays in better, plus you get a lot more gel for a lot less $$. I'd recommend this to anyone who isn't going the dentist route.

I'm also fairly recently engaged and am really enjoying the A Practical Wedding Planner - there are some really useful exercises up front about helping you and your partner decide your emotional goals for the wedding, what does and doesn't matter to you, and then how to proceed with making your vision a reality.

Unfortunately I found that throwing money at things reduced my stress by a lot, so that’s what I did. If you’re trying to keep the cost down, I highly recommend this book this book

It helps remind you what is important and what you don’t care about and helps you stay true to it the whole way through. When it gets close to your date, suddenly EVERYTHING seems important 😂

Oh, I know exactly how you feel! It does get better!

1. Make a (preliminary) guest list to get an idea of what you need out of a venue. 2. Fantasize with your FH about what you two want in a wedding 3. discuss budget, with whomever that may involve (just FH and/ or your families) 4. find a venue that fits. Everything else becomes more clear after those items have been addressed. Truly. We did #3 and #4 around the same time- I ended up making a spreadsheet that detailed pricing, pros/ cons, and other details/ needs that were important to us for the few venues we were considering, along with others that we weren't that stoked on to provide different views of pricing in our area. Once we had a venue and a wedding date, it really did become more real and more straightforward.
   
   As for books, I purchased a few, and only one has been useful- A Practical Wedding. I didn't use the planner binder I purchased- I just ended up making a big GoogleDocs spreadsheet so I can access it whenever I need to.
   
   You've got this.

I was lucky enough to find an Ion Tailgater on clearance for $30 at work, so I'm going to be loading up music on my iPad and putting a friend in charge of playing the right tracks at the right times. It also has a mic input so we'll be able to use it for the spoken parts of the ceremony as well. This thing is loud and sounds amazing!

Glad I could help! You should buy the book. It has wonderful, adorable illustrations.

I really liked this book to help me sort it how to start: A Practical Wedding Planner: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating the Wedding You Want with the Budget You've Got (without Losing Your Mind in the Process) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738218421/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_atc7CbD04JD17

I have a solitaire on a yellow gold band also, I love how classic and classy the look is.

PSA: Check your local library! I borrowed the kindle version of the original book for free and am picking up a copy of this wedding planner tomorrow.

Edit: Forgot to say that I am almost done with the original and love it so much that I am going back for the planner!

Go to amazon and buy this book. My co-worker bought it for me and it has helped me so much in my planning. Also, pinterest works wonders for organizing all of your ideas and your bridal party can look there and learn what you are envisioning for your special day! :) I hope this helps!

The Knot has a great book to walk you through all the stages of wedding planning and answered a lot of my questions. I've found it to be super helpful!

https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-binder/dp/0770433367

Got it from Amazon, $8! I got two if that helps!
Beautiful White Elegance Window Sheer Voile Scarf 56" X 216" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BUSPD4E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_9jI29Umx3PbNI

This reminds me that I've been forgetting to clean mine for the past few weeks... I normally clean it every two weeks or so using one of these and I'm always so impressed by how nice my ring looks afterwards! I'm sure a professional cleaning does a better job; but this is a nice, easy way to do it in between!

Buy this book! It was my favorite resource. I was able to plan my wedding in less than 6 months.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wedding-Book-Big-Your/dp/0761139605

First, parents, then I asked my only sister to be my MOH, called my best friends and bridesmaids... then told the world on facebook.

Dr. George's Dental White Gel https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003GU46VK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_uJ9YBb07H5BCP

I’ve been using this stuff for years. It’s definitely a little harsh, but effective. If I use it too much, my teeth get a little sensitive. BUT it’s cheap and really works. I always get compliments on my white smile. Sensitivity goes away after about a week if you overdo it.

A Practical Wedding is one of the best resources my fiancée and me have found. The advice will help to keep you from getting caught up in the consumerist frenzy that is wedding planning in 2016. There's a general book on the ideas and an actual planner to help with the specifics.


Edit to add: And the wedding mission statement /u/PartOfIt is referring to is the idea that you figure out what type of wedding you want. Here's a good write-up about one couple's.

My best friend is already married and she gave me a copy of A Practical Wedding Planner: https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Planner-Step-Step/dp/0738218421 and it was really helpful.

The knot used to send out binders like that but I think as they got more popular that went away. Maybe they still have the papers on the site you could print?

Edit: Looks like they're out at theknot.com but amazon has some! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0770433367

Also, if you are going the speaker/Ipod route then I highly recommend this one

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00SNBCBGE?psc=1&ref=yo_pop_mb_pd

I bought it and it's very loud, bluetooth or cord to connect, easy to use, comes with a mic, and has 50 hours of battery life (obviously can be recharged)!! It's also super reasonably priced...I couldn't believe it!

A Practical Wedding Planner! Fun to flip through even while you're not "actively" planning just to start brainstorming ideas. Write things down that you like – I have a Wedding Planning Note in my Notes app and a physical notebook! Or, if you don't want to buy the book, the website has a lot of great resources too. https://apracticalwedding.com/

This is what i do:

First, i soak the ring in hot water + liquid dish detergent for 30 mins. Then, i use a pen with a soft brush to scrub all the nooks. Had my ring for a couple of years with no issues so far. I don’t think you need anything really strong - a lot of those machines are unnecessary. A good professional Cleaning once a year helps as well.

Connoisseurs 1050 Diamond Dazzle Stick https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00459VM6I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_71VfAb0DBPCZY

I'm going to be DIYing as many paper flowers as I can. Flowers are crazy expensive but I love them and want my wedding to look lush and whimsical.

So I got two books, The Exquisite Book of Paper Flowers and Paper to Petal.
Im also thinking of having one large flower for my bouquet, like this

Congratulations! Bask in the engagement glow and enjoy the brainstorming before diving into the planning full force.

I would also read: https://www.amazon.ca/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155

I read this before any planning and it helped so much. Not sure how much it might cross over with the other reading suggestion. If you have a Kobo, the ebook is only 2.99$

You should consider checking out this book: A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration. It walks you and your partner through thinking about what kind of wedding you want and has some great exercises to help. It also has a great companion book that's about more of the vendor side of planning things, but I'd consider starting with this.

Beautiful White Elegance Window Sheer Voile Scarf 60" X 216" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BUSPD4E?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf


I had to iron/steam them but they worked great

We are getting married Nov 7, 2020 and I have lost about 40 lbs since we got engaged!!!! My ring was getting super loose, but I didn’t want to get it resized quite yet, as I still have a bit of weight to lose to get to my goal. I got this from Amazon for $5.99 with low expectations. But it works PERFECTLY and is so comfortable, I hardly even notice it’s there. Just wanted to recommend to anyone in a similar situation!

How sweet! Here’s a few things my family and friends gifted us:

• wedding countdown sign (at first I thought this was silly, but we actually look forward to updating it!)
  
• A Practical Wedding Planner
  
• mr. & mrs. ring tray
  
• ring bling wipes
  
• personalized Christmas ornament with our engagement date
  
• wine bottle and wine tumbler set (perfect for picnics!)

Agreed to cuts! We didn't want to do it, but once we cut kids, got strict with plus ones, cut grandparent's siblings/their kids (we're only inviting OUR g-rents, aunts/uncles, and cousins, not our parents' aunts/uncles/cousins) and ditched some work friends (and now a year later we don't even work with most of those people anymore!) we were able to get down from over 180 to about 125. All of those people add up really fast!

Another book recommendation that I really enjoyed was A Practical Wedding.

So, there's nothing wrong with getting a book if you're a pen/paper kind of organized (I am too, I HAVE to write things down). Yes there are tons of online resources but some people just need to write things down and that's totally fine. But that book is from 2004 which is 12 years old, and just looking at the cover I can tell it's probably a veryyyyy traditional book. Yes I judge books by their covers.

If you want something a little more modern I would suggest getting one of these:

• A Practical Wedding
  
• The Knot's Planner
  
• AstroWed this one is very modern
  
  

It sounds like you guys need to have some hard conversations about your expectations for your wedding. What elements of your wedding are most important to you? Food? DJ? Decor? Flowers? Dress? Vows? Pick 2-3 over all, and he should too, and the rest you should give and take on. Best book for this is the Practical Wedding: https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Planner-Step-Step/dp/0738218421/ref=asc_df_0738218421/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312111910505&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5774776307917924467&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021482&hvtargid=pla-420687546454&psc=1

Here is the Amazon link to the book. It's a pretty short read, and it makes some great points about the many cultural issues and expectations surrounding weddings (and how many of them are kinda bullshit).

"A Lovely Love Story" is so cute for a light-hearted reading. One of my favourite little books.

I have The Knot Wedding Planner and Organizer binder. It's amazing. It has checklists, to do lists, questions to ask each vendor, timelines, etc. Best money that I spent.

I don't know if I'm missing something here, but this doesn't look odd to me at all. I actually like the gap. If the ring moves around so that the little stones don't align with the big stone maybe you could bind the two rings together. You can try using ring size adjusters first if you want to save money instead of going to the jeweler and having them permanently connect them: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M0OX3EW/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I bought this around valentine's day and I am chugging away at it little by little to give to FH the night before the wedding. Some of the prompts are really cute and it's really great with ideas if you're stumped.

My sister-in-law sent me this when I got engaged and I found it helpful :)

Thanks!

The California poppies are based on this tutorial, but using double-sided crepe instead of tissue paper. The big fluffy white flowers are coffee filter flowers from this tutorial with a fringed center added. All the rest came from a lovely coffee-table paper flower crafting book, Paper to Petal.

I was you 6 months ago.

I first started with "costofwedding.com" to understand what the average cost of weddings were in the area I was going to get married to decide what I should expect for budget. Then determined if that budget was right for me.

I also highly highly recommend A Practical Wedding's book. It's recommended a lot on this sub, but I found it literally life saving. It helped me first decide what I wanted out of my wedding, what were the areas I wanted to put my money into, and then how to get started.

this will be weird advice, because I found it weird too, but just start moving forward. I had no idea what I wanted my wedding to look or feel like. But I found a venue that met my logistical and financial needs AND then I loved the look and feel of it. I start basing other decisions on that aesthetic and now I'm 4 months later with a photographer, DJ and a cake!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DHWW23K/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_1?smid=A15UHOP7S2PCN9&psc=1

I liked this steamer. My recommendation is that you try to put a cheese cloth or a clean cotton sock over it so waterspots don't get on the dress. Usually tap water works fine, but sometimes it can leave a lot of mineral deposits in the steamer--so if you have distilled water (you can get it from the grocery store) then that's better.

This, and keep in mind that you don't need to do everything they have on their list (it can be overwhelming).

I also highly recommend this book (since I don't see that anyone else has already posted it): https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Planner-Step-Step/dp/0738218421.

Prioritize what's important to you (theme, food, music, dress, whatever YOU and FH want out of YOUR wedding, etc.), make a to-do list, delegate and you'll be good to go!

I have RA so my hands are different sizes depending on how well I’m feeling, so I use a plastic ring adjuster pretty much permanently. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M0OX3EW?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share is the one I use and it’s worked really well, comes with different sizes adjusters.

I would recommend waiting to re size until your weight has stabilized. Getting the ring re sized multiple times can weaken the ring.

Not sure how much the fabric you're buying is, but I bought 7 of these curtains off of amazon for $4 each. You have to order one at a time for free shipping, but cheap is cheap!

i bought this book, i got it cheap second hand, and i found it really helpful.

Take a breath. Focus on the man you love. Step 1: Read this book and website. It's all going to be ok!

You have plenty of time to deal with this. Ask for help when you need it. Take time for yourself when you need it. You don't need to have a bridal party. I am not having one and I feel I've spared myself a lot of stress or at the very least, I know my to-do list has been shorter! I think the jealousy is something that will fade with time. You could always talk about upgrading in the future, but give it more time.

You might like this book too. The author has done a lot of work with brides who experience anxiety.

This. I had two tiny white gold spheres put in the inside of the ring and I did develop a callus. Luckily it is in the inside of the finger fold, so no one sees it and it did stop the ring from spinning.

I use this for cleaning. You have to wet the pen and rinse it out but the long but firm bristles help for the cleaning of an elevated or intricate setting.

This book has the most beautiful paper flowers I've ever seen. Some are really complicated but all are stunning.

http://www.amazon.com/Paper-Petal-Whimsical-Flowers-Craft/dp/0385345054

Hmm. I have gotten:

• a robe, a necklace. and a straw/water tumbler with my name on it
  
• a bracelet in color of our choice (worn on day of). she also paid for makeup and part of our dresses.
  
• a gift bag of various items: moleskin bandages, diamond dazzle pen for the engaged/married gals and fuzzy socks for the single gals, yeti tumbler with our names on them, and heartfelt book/journal of what my friendship means to her.
  
  I'm getting my sisters/bridemaids a little ring with an airplane on it, because 1. we hate excess, impractical stuff 2. it's significant because I live far away, and i'll be writing something about how we're always sisters no matter the distance.

Check this out! I’m a huge list person and this has been really helpful for me.

First: Congratulations!

Second: There's a binder that The Knot has released. Here is the link. You won't be sorry!

Seconding the recommendation of APW and the APW Planner. Also the original APW book ( https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155 ), I think it’s focus on the philosophy of what a wedding is would be particularly helpful for OP.

I bought one of [these jewlery cleaning sticks] (https://www.amazon.com/Connoisseurs-1050-Diamond-Dazzle-Stick/dp/B00459VM6I/ref=pd_sim_201_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQKFFYBX4TKJHHSJV1H7) and love it. I also try to get it cleaned at the jeweler every 6 months.

I bought The Knot's wedding organizer and have been really happy with it.

https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wedding-Planner-Organizer-binder/dp/0770433367/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485185444&sr=8-1&keywords=the+knot+ultimate+wedding+planner

I really liked The Wedding Book. Lots of lists and even stickers in the back to use as tabs!

Here's my set. The wedding band is a quarter size smaller than the ering, and they're not perfectly flush. It doesn't really bother me, but I also plan on getting a separate stackable set since we're using those as the "special occasion" rings. Another option you have is to get a spacer to give a little cushion between them.

We also did wax seals for ours. We used glue gun sealing wax, which was lots easier than the melt with a candle stuff we started off using, and looked just as good.
https://www.amazon.com/Gold-Flexible-Glue-Gun-Sealing/dp/B00F737X1E

My first thought when seeing your comment was that you were my (now) husband! Our invites http://imgur.com/a/ZdnYR looked almost identical to yours except for a different letter on the wax.

OP, I would also recommend sealing the inside envelope and then putting them in a regular envelope on the outside. Use the 68 cent (US) stamp and ask the post office to hand sort them. We heard of no issues with broken seals. We used this wax, which you put in a hot glue gun. It was extremely quick and easy to do. We have a recommendation for a glue gun too if you're interested!

It is size 6 but its a tiny bit loose (not easy to come off but shifts on my finger most days), currently waiting on an order of ring size adjusters from Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/GWHOLE-Adjuster-Silver-Polishing-Cloth/dp/B01M0OX3EW

We're also having a backyard wedding in MD and considering getting a speaker with a microphone. Something like this.

Hence you already have a speaker, if I were you, I would go to a local Audio equipment store, Target or Walmart, buy a mic, plug it into the speaker and see if it works. If doesn't - return it and try other options. OR, buy a speaker with the mic, use it and then return it.

Another inexpensive idea to add to the arch or to cover the crosses on the bar is some draping. You can find some inexpensive scarves on Amazon, link below for example. Not sure if this fits your vibe at all, might be too much for your taste! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BUSPD4E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2wYwDbNFFRAZF

It's the first or second chapter in this book, which also includes plenty of actual wedding planning stuff.

Was it this one?

We were planning on getting a tailgate speaker and then selling it on Craigslist afterwards for whatever we can get for it ($50?).