Reddit mentions of Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months

Pick up this book immediately: https://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365/ref=sr_1_2?crid=YV792GQITCOB&keywords=dude+youre+going+to+be+a+dad&qid=1554477971&s=gateway&sprefix=dude+you%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-2

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It is really well written and addresses a lot of topics that you should hear about before it becomes an issue.

>he is fairly nonplussed and doesn't really seriously discuss it with me

This is going to be your biggest hurdle, you need to have an open line of communication. We don't have a perfect marriage by any means, but we've been together for 5 years (baby status I know) but we don't fight. We communicate and have discussions, it makes a HUGE difference and keeps stress levels WAY down now that I'm pregnant.

Anyway. I got him the book, Dude, You're Gonna Be A Dad. He's really enjoyed reading it. It goes through a lot of what to expect during each trimester, how to prepare for baby care, and most importantly (to me) momma care. It explains what we're going through physically and emotionally. It does a really nice job laying things out in terms that guys can relate to, or at least as closely as possible.

That's an unfortunate reaction from your husband. He probably doesn't understand that being supportive means being proactive.

I was browsing Amazon today for some journals and landed on this https://www.amazon.ca/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365. I'm tempted to get it for my husband this Father's day, but I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit of a gamble, given his reaction so far, though I'm hoping the humorous tone will lessen the blow of the "lessons". The fact that the author is a man might help with that (husband dealt a lot better with the news after he spoke with a newly minted dad about it).

Congratulations!!!

First off just pause your fears for just a moment and take in the feeling and enjoy it!

Second - Be there for her as much as you can, that’s your ‘other’ job now.

READ as much as you can - I like this book - Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months https://www.amazon.ca/dp/1440505365/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wRKEAb01K29SE

Watch YouTube videos - go to the appointments, ask questions, just overall be involved. Ask questions here! Read a lot of the posts - I’ve learned a lot from just being involved here.

You’re going to be fine - just enjoy the moment. I think everyone, myself included are going through a bunch of WTF holy shit moments.

Welcome to the club dude!

Dude, you’re going to be a Dad. Cannot remember the author, but the audiobook narration was solid. Felt super informative too. And has good quotes to start each section.

Edit: Found the link finally after work; Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months https://www.amazon.com/dp/1440505365/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_xatVBb21N3E69

Also, congratulations!! My wife is 12 weeks today, so I’m interested to see what others here recommend!

The two books I've read over the last 9 months are [Baby Meets World] (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Meets-World-Smile-Toddle/dp/0312591349) and [Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads] (http://www.beprepared.net/). Both have something different to offer.

Baby Meets World uses basic motions a baby makes - suck, smile, touch, and toddle - as launching points for baby care techniques. The author, Nicholas Day, examines current trends and opinions related to breast feeding, swaddling, pacifiers, etc. and historical practices along the same lines. The book is not good at telling parents what to do. It's strength is putting current trends in context, describing human development in the baby months, and offering often funny anecdotes about Day's own experience as a first time father. The big takeaway from the book is there are many ways to care for your child and you're free to choose what is best for your family.

Be Prepared, as the title suggests, is a how to book. Gary Greenberg, author of the Pop Up Book of Nightmares, offers up some something of a Boy Scout Handbook for early fatherhood. His guide is a sequential arc of a baby's development from the [baby's first day] (http://www.beprepared.net/samples_willnwont1.html) through his or her first birthday all with a good sense of humor. Greenberg describes various activities that will be both interesting to dad and help build baby's skills at different stages of development. I wish a second edition would come out to update some of the references, ditch the audio/visual equipment chapter (can be replaced with "Get a smartphone.") and add something about social media. A father friend of mine gave me this book and my wife and I enjoyed reading it on long car trips.

The one book I didn't like was the one my parents gave me: [Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!] (http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365) by John Pfeiffer. I've seen other people recommend it here, but, I really hate the tone of the book. My wife and I started hate reading it and, to Pfeiffer's credit, his writing did spark some important conversations early in the pregnancy. My biggest objection is the author's lazy portrayal of men as oafish self-centered douchebags - the kind that get you lots of karma in /r/cringepics. If the dad to be is an oafish self-centered douchebag, this book is great. The takeaway here is "Stop being a oafish self-centered douchebag! Step up your game and be a dad." I tend to see the men in this sub as already over that obstacle.

TL;DR [Baby Meets World] (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Meets-World-Smile-Toddle/dp/0312591349) = interesting read. [Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads] (http://www.beprepared.net/) = funny how to guide. [Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!] (http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365) = for douchebags.

I just graduated from predaddit to daddit.

Those pregnancy months are intense. The weeks after...even more so. What I would suggest is to assume she is right and work from there. Her brain is going through a ton of changes with hormones that continue on into after the child is born.

One thing to remember is that right now her body is growing a human. It sounds weird, but when I thought about it as, holy crap, she's got a human in there, I pretty much went with her thoughts.

However, names, etc. Definitely have discussions about those things. Some of the ways you used to talk about things, you might have to switch. For example; if you would have said, "That's a dumb name" she might not have reacted at all, now, it might be the thing that sets her off. Think about more diplomatic methods of disagreeing with her.


I statements work for this pretty well. I feel.... or I like...


Be prepared for her to disagree with your suggestions simply on principal.

There is a good book called "Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad" that might help you.

"Dude you're gonna be a Dad" has been the most enjoyable to me. http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365

I haven't read them yet, but I got this book and this book for my husband, they were highly rated.

My wife picked up Dude your gonna be a dad shortly after we found out. It is written in a really informal style, which put me off a bit at first, but as my wife read her books and we "compared notes" I realized it has alot of really good information in it.

I haven't read this one yet but it was recommended at one of our child birthing classes from this week: http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365

> how much he neeeeedddssss it

I would say you should explain to him that you neeeeeed him to respect you in this and to have some compassion.

I got my husband a copy of the Expectant Father and he's found it helpful and informative. If your guy won't listen when you explain what you need, maybe he'll listen if it's coming from a book. Or, no offense, I'm sure he's a great guy and has tons of redeeming qualities, but if he's as immature as this post makes him sound, maybe Dude, You're Gonna be a Dad might be more his speed.

Also, explain to him that pregnancy pulls crazy shit with our senses of smell, and for now you need him to either stop using his cologne or understand that he needs to wash it off before you can be near him.

But as far as meeting those neeeeeeds of his ... would it be nuts to take a trip to your local woman-owned sex toy shop to look for some toys to tide him over? There are some very classy men's masturbation devices out there, like tenga (nsfw) though they can get pricey. Maybe seeing that you still care about his sex needs would help him feel better, even if you're not able to drain his nuts yourself?

I used "dude, your going to be a dad!"

It's not a huge book and actually a pretty fun read with an overview of what's going on. Think of it as supplemental. Some good tips as well.

Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months https://www.amazon.com/dp/1440505365/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_kMfNzb5YTJK4Q

I picked up Dude, You're going to be a dad before our first was born. SHe's now 3, and we have a 15 month old. Its such a fun ride.. congrats!

I bought him Dude You’re Going To Be A Dad

Dude, You're Gonna Be a Dad!: How to Get (Both of You) Through the Next 9 Months https://www.amazon.com/dp/1440505365/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_KO6OBbA9N25J0

My husband was gifted this book by our best friends (who have kids). It opened his virgin-to-babies eyes. He learned a ton and we talked about what he was learning. I've noticed him becoming even more attentive to me and planning for our little family's future.

This was really the only good "Dad" book I read that did not make me lose sleep. http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1412723216&sr=8-4&keywords=dads+guide+to+pregnancy

I used this one. Helped me understand some of the stuff that was going to happen. That being said, I would suggest you learn to tolerate an extra sprinkle of crazy that your wife will exhibit. Congratulations and good luck!!!

https://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539975454&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=dude+you+are+gonna+be+a+dad&dpPl=1&dpID=51UysnNAM-L&ref=plSrch

Congrats! This is a good book for you for the next 7.5 months. It is not so much about what to do with a new baby, but I found it an easy and someone useful info for being a good partner in pregnancy.

Dude You're Gonna Be a Dad!

Mine has enjoyed "Dude, You're Going to be a Dad"

Yes! I bitched on here about my situation a while ago. I bought my SO this book and gave it to him when I found out I was pregnant, but he didn’t start reading it until recently (I’m almost 32 weeks). I had a major meltdown a couple weeks ago where I told him that I didn’t feel like he was being emotionally supportive. After having talked to friends and family, I found out that this can be normal for men.. and it does not mean they won’t be good fathers. I ended up signing us up for a childbirth class, as well as a baby basics class. We’ve had 2 out of 5 classes so far and he’s been attentive and will interact with me in class, which I didn’t expect at all.

Maybe he’s like my partner, and giving him that little push will help. Have you communicated any of this with him?

I made a little dad prep kit: an extra large 'Papa Bear' mug, Dude, You're Going to Be a Dad, Oreos (since we can't celebrate with wine!), and the tests in a heart polka dotted bag. He loved it!

Congrats!

I found this book to be really helpful and well written.

https://www.amazon.com/Dude-Youre-Gonna-Be-Dad/dp/1440505365/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=TDHWHW231P89TR81TDZ8