#256 in Books

Reddit mentions of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy

Sentiment score: 31
Reddit mentions: 65

We found 65 Reddit mentions of Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Here are the top ones.

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
Buying options
View on Amazon.com
or
    Features:
  • Harvard Medical School Guide to a Good Night Sleep
  • Lawrence J. Epstein, M. D. Past President American Academy of sleep Medicine with Steven Mardon
  • Expert Information, what a Harvard Doctor want you to know
  • Paperback 270 pg.
Specs:
Release dateNovember 2012

idea-bulb Interested in what Redditors like? Check out our Shuffle feature

Shuffle: random products popular on Reddit

Found 65 comments on Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy:

u/bitchimadorable · 60 pointsr/intj

It seems like there's some pretty deep wounds there. If I had to hazard a guess, he was probably pretty emotionally manipulative, am I right? So here's the thing- People who are good at emotional manipulation will leave you feeling COMPLETELY GODDAMN INSANE. They create almost a feeling of addiction in the people they manipulate- it makes no sense and you can hate the shit out of it but it still works. They do this by using intermittent reinforcement with their approval and affection, and our brains pick this up like it's crack. In the absence of being able to predict what actions will bring reward, we almost panic, and end up behaving in ways that don't make sense to even ourselves. People like that can take totally normal, healthy people and make them feel like they're going insane.

Breathe. It's your brain responding the way brains naturally responds to intermittent reinforcement in intensely stressful situations. Your brain has created this link that he will provide approval and affection if you can only get the pattern right, and you're trying to get that dopamine hit from his affection and approval by any means you can think of. You're not broken, you're not fucked up in the head, your brain is doing one of the annoying little things that brains do sometimes and you will be okay without him. I know that's really hard to fathom, but think of it like this: your dopamine rush when you got affection and attention from him was so strong that your brain is almost literally treating him like an addiction. It's not love, your brain has been conditioned by his manipulation into a state of obsession. Intermittent reinforcement is the strongest reinforcement pattern, and lasts long after it feels like it "should" have ceased.

I think it might hit NT types even a little harder than other types, because our Fi is so intense but very difficult to express and explain, and we pride ourselves so strongly on our rationality. We often lock our feelings up because they can be so vicious and blistering, so when we let anyone in and we get that first hit of approval, our brain kind of loses its shit and knocks us sideways and sucks the air out of our lungs. Our brains are so pattern hungry that intermittent reinforcement is almost irresistible- we want to figure out the pattern, we feel like we've almost got it, if only we could put in the last piece.

So, if you're looking for a hint as to what the pattern is, it's control. It's not random. He will give you a breadcrumb as long as he wants to string you along, dropping one every time you start to distance yourself even a little. Learn about the cycle of abuse, especially narcissistic abuse, and you'll find the answer there. From breadcrumbs to freezing out to love bombing, it's a pattern designed to fuck with your brain and make you lose your emotional balance.

You will heal. It will feel better, but the only way out is through. Face your inner emotional damage, whatever you've got, and learn more about your own emotional processing- enough to understand how you tick and what sets off this kind of reaction in your brain. Keep talking to your therapist. Start reading books on emotional abuse patterns and on psychology, find your pattern there instead of in him.

You'll be okay. You know at some level you will be. Soldier through and work on your internal stuff and you'll get there, and will be better for it. Use your brain to beat your own brain on this.

-----

Edit: OP, look up Complex PTSD and see if it strikes a chord. A good book if you're looking for one for is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, and resources for adult children of alcoholics would probably be pretty helpful. I would definitely recommend trauma therapy- it is probably your best bet for longer term healing, even if you do DBT first. EMDR may help, too, if you can find a therapist who works with it (many trauma therapists do). If you dissociate at all, try grounding techniques like this to get back to your more rational center. If anxiety is a big part of it for you, it's highly treatable with therapy focusing on tools and techniques to calm and ground yourself, and there are TONS of resources on the internet.

Your emotions may not make sense to you, but they aren't illogical, they exist to guide you and to give you information about the world. They may be out of proportion, but that's due to the thought processes you have and the story you're telling yourself. They're perfectly proportional to what your thoughts/self-talk are saying to you, so you have to adjust the internal dialogue to be more objective in order to make your emotions more useful and in proportion. Buddhism as a philosophy is great for helping with this, it's like the softer side of Stoicism with more focus on being kind and present. A good book on finding and correcting cognitive distortions (the self-talk that makes your emotions go nuts) is Feeling Good by David Burns (It's almost DBT lite).

u/MrCyn · 19 pointsr/newzealand

This book helped me a lot, about CBT which is a common form of treatment for depression.

Can help while you wait cos yeah our mental health situation is pretty shitty

u/theycallmebbq · 16 pointsr/TagPro

The first thing you should do is tell someone and try to get help. It’s actually great that your parents suspect that you’re depressed and have talked to you about it because the hardest thing about depression is just being able to talk about it with someone. Your parents can help you get set up with a therapist or a counselor to talk through things. Since you’re 18 you can also try to do those things yourself, but the most important thing you can do is definitely seeing someone about it.

If you don’t feel comfortable pursuing outside help I have a couple ideas. One thing you can do is PM me at any time and I’ll be happy to talk to you. I’m 10 years older and have been in your place. Another is to find a good book about all this. I think one of the best is called Feeling Good. It’s the only book that has been acknowledged as an effective treatment for depression. I would be happy to buy a copy and send it to you if you don’t want to pay for it.

I notice you didn’t actually say that you are depressed, but based on my own personal experience of struggling with some of these things over the last 10 years, and on some of the things you’re saying, I know you have some degree of depression. The thing is, that’s absolutely fine and nothing to be ashamed of. Once you ID it and know that it’s there, you can try to understand it and begin to deal with it. Don’t worry too much about labeling yourself though—you risk having your depression become your identity, when really you are so much more complicated than that, in the best possible way.

I don’t think your parents are trying to judge, or label you. Parents feel so helpless to provide for their children when they reach your age. They see you doing things and they have no control over it, and they worry, because they can’t just make it all better by being your mom and dad anymore.

Also, don’t panic about this idea of “straying from society” or becoming a recluse. You’re 18 at the moment, and life is long and abundant. If TagPro is what makes you happy right now you can keep on doing that and enjoy it in the moment. You also have to keep in mind that TagPro won’t always be here and that this could end at any time. It’s good to try and find as many things that you like to do as possible. 18 is an age where everyone is telling you who you are and what you should be, when you don’t even know yourself. How could you possibly know? How could anyone? All you can do is do things you like and live your life and hope you find it along the way. I only know a couple of people who are doing the thing that they thought they’d be doing at 18.

Just hang tough, stay positive, and find someone to talk to.

u/Caroline_Bintley · 15 pointsr/justneckbeardthings

>And I know how I must come off to others, like these pathetic creeps.

That's not how you come across in this post. You come across like someone who is struggling with a lot of self doubt and a lot of self loathing. I think many of us have been there at one time or another, even if to a much lesser degree.

I'm gonna give you some advice. Feel free to take it or leave it as you feel appropriate.

First, look into therapy. It sounds like you have a lot of intense anxieties rattling around in your head, and they're just going to hold you back. Just being able to talk to someone can be a huge weight off your shoulders. Plus, an outside perspective can help you see yourself in a more accurate light.

If you can't afford therapy, look into written exercises in Feeling Good by Dr. Burns. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps to spot the distortions in thinking that contribute to negative emotions like fear and self-hatred. It's not about skipping through a field of flowers and butterflies, it's about looking at your negative thoughts and being able to calmly, dispassionately say "Okay, my brain is being a dick again." You get practice replacing old patterns of thinking with more a realistic, rational outlook. I used it a few years ago for my anxiety issues and was surprised at how helpful it was.

Second, practice your social skills. If talking to people is nerve-wracking, start small. Begin with customer service workers. Say "Thanks!" to the bus driver as you get off at your stop. Or "Enjoy your afternoon!" to the cashier when they finish ringing up your groceries. These little interactions are usually safe because they are 1) Quick 2) With people whose job is to interact with strangers. As you get more comfortable, you can branch out into little bits of small talk. "Wow, the weather is NICE out there today. I hope you get the chance to get outside later."

As you become comfortable making brief small talk, look into ways to expand your social circle. Personally, I'm a big fan of structured activities. For instance, I was part of a science-fiction book club that was really great. We had something in common to relate over. Plus, everyone got the chance to give their opinion on the book, but you could be as brief as you wanted. We had the chance to chat a bit, but we had a central topic to focus on.

Dance classes, youth organizations, volunteer events, recreational sports are similar in that they give you the chance to meet new people but they're structured enough that none of you have to "wing it."

Third, be good to yourself. When you have all this negative self talk it's so easy to see getting better as an obligation or a penance. "UGH, I'm SUCH a screw up! I'm probably broken! I need to fix my shit or NO ONE will want to be around me!!!"

The truth is, you should work on getting better because you DESERVE to be better. You deserve to live a life free of crippling self-doubt. You deserve to be happy and content. You deserve to feel free to pursue relationships that will bring both of you joy.

When I was younger, I fell into this trap of mentally beating up on myself all the time. I was convinced I was a worthless fuck-up and that by being mean as shit to myself, I was somehow making the world a better place. The thing is, that turned out to be absolute bullshit. As I've learned to be more proactive in my life and more compassionate towards my inevitable setbacks, it's not just me who's benefited. I've become a calmer, more caring friend and partner. I've been able to offer more support to be friends because I'm not so overwhelmed with my own anxieties. Also, I think we don't always realize how much we look to each other for guidance. When you can be kind and accepting towards yourself, you make it easier for those around you to do the same.

Finally, online dating is a shitshow. If you are feeling low, this may not be a good time to be on Tinder. However, if you reach the point where you want to give it another try, get a profile review first. If you aren't getting a lot of matches, it might not have anything to do with you and everything to do with mediocre photos or a lackluster bio.

u/joshuazed · 12 pointsr/fatlogic

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the gold standard for depression and anxiety (and many other things as well). It works wonders for me. If your therapist does it, that is wonderful, but there are excellent books which you can use on your own. One of the core principles of CBT is that you need to work on your own to acquire skills to deal with your problems, reading and doing "homework" and mental exercises.

This is an excellent book, with a strong emphasis on anxiety. I recommend the paperback, so you can write in it (it has lots of worksheets).

This is another excellent book that I have.

u/mikkylock · 8 pointsr/SeriousConversation

Yes, and it helped me a lot. So if you are interested in starting on your own, you can read this book by Dr. David Burns. There's also a workbook or two depending on what you prefer.

CBT is all about learning how to change the way you think. Basically it's becoming actively involved in your thinking and feeling patterns. It is a good thing to do this with a therapist, because having an objective viewer on your thought processes is invaluable. That said, it doesn't hurt to get started on your own.

u/snoozyd87 · 7 pointsr/getdisciplined

Hi, 31M, fighting depression, acute social anxiety disorder and suicidal tendencies. I am doing good now. Had a scare a few months ago when a close family member fell really ill, and I really started to put in the effort to turn my life around. It is a work in progress, but I am doing well. My advice:

  1. Realize, first and foremost, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, everything is okay. If you are an Introvert, that is perfectly fine, in fact that is a cause for celebration. You see the world runs on profit, on selling you shit you don't need and is actually harmful to you, and you being introvert is bad for business. Being calm, self-aware, introspective means no more impulse purchases, no more stress-eating, no more constant sugar rush, and most importantly no more addictions. Good for you, horrible for selling you supersaturated soda, processed junk food and drugs.

  2. Realize that being shy and socially awkward is not the same as introversion. These often rise from our deep rooted emotions and conflicts, sometimes we are not aware of them. I'll give a simple example, I have lower back pain since childhood. I recently started exercising and found a fantastic fitness channel on YT. I realized that the cause of my pain was that my Glutes are terribly weak, and my Abs are weak too. My back hurts not because there's something wrong with it, but because it is overworked. My back has to put in 3 times the effort just to stabilize my core and help move my spine. Similarly, The real cause of all your emotional distress can be found, and healed, only when you start to exercise. Which means:

  3. Meditate. Common sense, buddy, just as nobody but yourself can gift you with a healthy and athletic body, only you can find joy and happiness in yourself once you clean out all that fear and anxiety in your mind. Of course, a good teacher or a good book helps, just as with exercise. Simple breathing meditation. Sit comfortably. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Focus on the flow of breath. The mind will wander. Gently bring it back. Try it, start with what I did: try to perform just 3 perfect cycles. If you want to understand the scientific basis for why Meditation works, read: The Mind Illuminated | John Yates, Matthew Immergut, Jeremy Graves

    Some more reading: If you want to know how meditation helps the mind, read the best book on cognitive therapy:Feeling Good | David Burns.

    For instructions on breathing and mindfulness meditation, there are many great resources online. Also check out /r/Meditation.

  4. The one thing, the one attribute that defines us and helps us most in time of need is Willpower. There is this reservoir of strength inside you, an untapped fountain of energy that will sweep away all the uncertainty, fear and pain once you tap into it. Read this: The Will power Instinct | Kelly McGonigal.

  5. Develop some good habits. Wake up early. Keep tidy. Meditate. Exercise. Eat healthy. Read. Habits play a crucial role in forming us, and many of these habits are critical to our success or failure. Read this: The Power of Habit | Charles Duhigg.

  6. Finally, find a goal in your life. A goal that fulfills you, gives you purpose, and makes you whole. We have a word in Sanskrit: 'Samriddhi'. It means physical, mental and spiritual fulfillment. An observation: your financial well-being is a key factor in your happiness, because it directly affects you and your ability to care for and help others. Understanding how money works and how to enjoy a steady and growing flow of income is a key skill that is often neglected. Yes it is a skill that can be learned and trained just like exercise, with just a bit of help from our old friend willpower.

  7. Lastly remember you are not weak, fragile, pushover or any of these silly things. You are good. You are beautiful, strong and confident, and don't you dare think otherwise.

    I leave you with this song: Get up! Be good. PM me if you need anything.
u/cursethedarkness · 6 pointsr/internetparents

What keeps people going is resilience. The good news is that it's something you can develop (and I know that because I've gone from having none to being pretty healthy). To get started, you need to do cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT teaches you about cognitive errors that lead to the problems you've been having. For example, "all or nothing thinking" leads you to think that once you've failed at one thing, that you're not good at anything. Without the cognitive error, you can see what's really happened. Maybe you didn't prepare well enough--that's something you can fix. Maybe you chose an endeavor that isn't a good fit for you, and you can use this information to figure out better fit. Maybe you didn't have a key piece of information. There are lots of reasons for failure that don't mean "I'll never succeed at anything," and finding out those reasons gives you the resilience to try again. And again. Sometimes you'll fail, sometimes you'll succeed, and you'll always be learning.

As far as how to go about CBT, seeing a therapist is always an option. But CBT works really well in book form. I highly recommend "Feeling Good" by David Burns. It's cheap at Amazon. Go through the exercises, and you'll see an improvement in your depression, in your resilience, and in your relationships.

u/datamicrohelix · 6 pointsr/ADHD

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy!! This book gives great tools and really helps you learn to sort through all of those crazy thoughts. There’s a specific chapter on “do nothingism” that specifically relates to the issues in this post. If you can’t afford to buy a book or can’t sit down long enough to read, there are sparknotes/condensed versions of each chapter all over the place online for free.

u/sometimesineedhelp · 6 pointsr/Meditation

It's a non-meditation suggestion, so I'm not sure how well received my suggestion will be, but this is the sort of thing CBT is really good at conquering... While it covers a lot more than just habitual negative daydreaming, getting in the habit of that way of thinking will just naturally cause those to lessen...

I'd suggest starting with either of David D. Burns MD's "feeling good" books http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404226616&sr=1-1 or http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1404226705&sr=1-1&keywords=feeling+good+handbook

u/BuddyDharma · 6 pointsr/Christianity

Cognitive behavioral therapy. Take the thought that makes you unhappy -- the idea that eternity makes your tiny mortal life meaningless -- and confront it rationally. This is REALLY hard to do with religion (ask me how I know), but consider that physical scale is not an indication of importance. Consider the humble mitochondrion. Also consider Matt. 10:29 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care." God is perfectly capable of extending intimate attention to any area of his creation.

Anyway, I'm not doing it justice. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy is a really good book on the topic. Or talk to your therapist/psychiatrist about it.

Anyway, hang in there.

u/vty · 6 pointsr/Austin

Ignoring the ad hominem, there is so much wrong with your post. Do you seriously think that doctors/lawyers don't get dumped because of their salary? You think that every single woman out there will put up with abuse, a bad relationship, boredom, or whatever typical complaint that breaks a couple up because of a higher than average salary? Yeah, some will, but if you think there aren't strong and intelligent women out there that won't .. I don't even know what to say. That's pretty misogynistic.

I wasn't trying to be a dick with my post, I was trying to give you advice- you sound like you've got some self esteem issues that you should work on. We all do, but being ignorant to them or lashing out at someone giving advice doesn't hurt anyone but yourself. For instance, I'm short and sometimes I let it get to me. I have to seriously kick myself in the balls a few times to build up the confidence to talk to a taller woman. I go to the Marquee all the time and I swear the average height of a woman at the clubs is 5'10, way taller than me. I had a problem for a long time where I'd make a snap-judgement and assume a woman who is 5'10 would sure as hell not want to talk to a dude who is 5'7. I mean, why, when she can talk to some 6'0 guy? I was making excuses for myself to keep me from the possibility of rejection, basically what you're doing with the whole money thing.


"Had the goods stolen from me," woah, dude. I can see the inner caveman in you just screaming "Thats my property!" Nothing was stolen from me, our relationship wasn't perfect and she found somebody that she enjoyed being with more. She's actually engaged now, and I'm happy for her. She's not a commodity to own or control, she's her own woman.

Anyway, the gist of my post was you're blanketing women with some ridiculous stigma because you had one woman leave you for a rich guy and maybe a few bad dates. I hope at some point you sit back and realize how ridiculous it is and how the only person being hurt by any of this is yourself.

There's a few books I'd like to recommend that are amazing and helped me out quite a bit. I used to be a very bitter/negative/snap-judgement person. I still can be from time to time, but I try to be cognizant of it.

Apart from cognitive behavioral therapy these helped me out a lot;

u/jherazob · 6 pointsr/TrueReddit

Your problem is not demography or sexual selection, it's your beliefs. Despite of everything you've said, even nerdy "ugly" people keep finding mates. You're seeing reality through some rather dark mental filters.

Go to your library, bookstore or Amazon and get this book. It's pretty old and small, so you can get it used for a couple of bucks. Then use it. It'll show you exactly why are you seeing the world through that dark filter, and why is it wrong.

At a glance the mental distortions you're showing seem to be almost all of the list, from overgeneralization, to discounting the positive, to mind reading, labeling.

There is hope, you're not stuck forever in loneliness-land, but you gotta do the work, and it does not require drinking the hate kool-aid from TRP at all. Change yourself and you'll change the world around you.

u/Aml2012 · 5 pointsr/howtonotgiveafuck

I highly recommend CBT; it helps you recognize and reframe destructive thought patterns. [Feeling Good by David Burns] (http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1426032635&sr=1-1&keywords=feeling+good+the+new+mood+therapy) is a great introduction; if you want to go further, I would suggest a therapist certified in CBT. Meditation is also great for breaking thought patterns.

u/FalseResource · 5 pointsr/Mindfulness

Something to chew on:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

-Book: Dr. Burns, Feeling Good-The New Mood Therapy

-Learning about CBT-Basics

-Cognitive-behavioural tools that anyone can use

-The Ultimate List of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Techniques

-Reddit CBT Top Links

-25 CBT Techniques and Worksheets for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy





Mindfulness

-HeadSpace

-Book: The Miracle of Mindfullness

-Sam Harris on Mindfulness


-In my option, mindfulness is something you have to practice to experience yourself rather than reading about. When I first started, I read countless articles on the topic and found websites/sources but it wasn’t until I began meditating myself and practicing mindfulness myself that it made sense to me. As a result, I deleted most of my sources on this front but the book listed made a lot of things click for me.

Edit: Also, thank you for asking about this. I brushed up on some old files to find my archive of information on this and it was fun to look through them again.

u/slack101 · 5 pointsr/bangalore

I had 5 sessions with Rachna Muralidhar at Athoz Center in Indira Nagar. Her therapy was based on mindfulness and ACT, I thought she was good. But after that I felt like I should give CBT a shot. There is this book which I've been using for a while : Feeling good: The new mood therapy. Its been helping a lot. And its been reducing the symptoms quite quickly. Apparently some people have done clinical trials and found that this book helps like some 70% of depressed patients or something like that (Although I haven't elaborately studied about this research). The author's mentor is a guy who's called the "father of cognitive therapy".

u/Barbi520 · 4 pointsr/Stoicism

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Kindle Edition
by David D. Burns M.D. (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars 1,518 customer reviews , https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

u/fireball8931 · 4 pointsr/Anxiety

A man cold is the common cold, but for men like me, it makes me completely useless. I use all my energy at work and then I'm done for the day. Which is worse when you have anxiety and depression.

Citalopram is an SSRI, (also known as Celexa) it's used to treat both anxiety and depression (as well as a host of other conditions)

I found that it takes more than just the SSRIs to deal with the What ifs.
They give you a boost, but it's like re aligning your brain. My Doctor recommended Feeling Good, the new mood therapy by Dr Burns (amazon link
(Note for mods: the Amazon link is not an affiliate link)

I managed to get the eBook for cheap and it has quite a bit of homework that helps train your brain to worry less about the What ifs and really analyse them.
Once you are able to fully realise what the What ifs are coming from, you are able to navigate life worrying about them.

u/xnsb · 4 pointsr/getting_over_it

The book Feeling Good (free copy here) guides you through exercises to tackle depression and low self-esteem, the kind of things that a therapist might get you could to do. I found it very helpful.

u/SneezeSpasm · 3 pointsr/intj

I believe that an INTJ mindset can be a tremendous liability when dealing with a depression because of our tendency to seek logical conclusions. Different mindsets like All-or-Nothing or focusing on a single negative aspect of a situation can quickly become an echo chamber for negative thoughts. The INTJ mind can easily run amok.

However, I also believe that our INTJ profile can use its disadvantage to its advantage because we gravitate towards systems. If we construct a personal mind-system that monitor our thoughts, the heavy cloak of depression can be lifted. Such mind-systems are discussed at lengths in the book, "Feeling Good by Dr. David D. Burns".

Dr. David D. Burns builds his practice upon the stoic philosophy which concludes that it is our thoughts that make the base for our feelings. So to know your thoughts is to govern your feelings and thus your depression.

A quick overview.

Feeling Good by Dr. David D. Burns

u/Plemer · 3 pointsr/mentat

Regardless of the premise, regular exercise, adequate sleep and CBT can all help with self-confidence and mental health.

edit: I found this book helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C/

u/Sideyr · 3 pointsr/intj

Brains are funny things and sometimes they need training, like any other part of the body. I would suggest either seeing a psychologist, or getting something like this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009UW5X4C which starts with a way to somewhat self-diagnose depressive thinking and treat it on your own with cognitive behavioral therapy.

Psychology is interesting to learn about regardless, even if you don't think you're depressed.

Another interesting read: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man%27s_Search_for_Meaning

u/dabarbarian125 · 3 pointsr/depressionregimens

I can’t say I’m 100% cured, but can I say that it does get better. If you keep working at it you will grow and get better at it.

I’ve written a post describing my advice that I’ve learned in my 10 years since my suicide attempt. Here’s a link to it.

As for self love, that’s a little different of road. I had a really bad “hate tape” playing in my mind for the majority of my life. A great place to start is the book Feeling Good by David Burns. The sparknotes version of this book is that we have thoughts that are designed to hurt our outlook (called cognitive distortions) and gives you good tools to identify and address these. I’m not a huge fan of self help books, but this is scientifically researched and written by one of the originators of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This combined with meditation is really potent stuff.

I believe in faking it until you make it. What I’ve realized is that what most people say about self-love is true and unhelpful. It feels inauthentic to say that we love ourselves if we truly don’t feel it. And it is precisely this thought process that kept me from truly loving myself. I force myself to say nice things to myself even when I feel like a crappy human being. Instead of self-deprecating, I over exaggerate my own ability and awesomeness. They end up being the same jokes just reversed (a cheeky “Oh I totally meant to do that” instead of a depressing “see how worthless I am”).

And I’ve found this to work. My brain is in the habit of self-love rather than self-loathing. If you do something enough it becomes your automatic response. Have you ever said ironically loved something so much (like a meme or a song) that you grow to genuinely love it? That’s how I developed a healthy relationship with myself.

What I’ve found is that loving yourself is simple and incredibly difficult at the same time. All those cliches about “just be your own best friend” and “go easy on yourself” are technically right, but ignore the amount of time, effort and failures that come on the way to that point. It’s kind of a 3 steps forward two steps back kind of thing.

Lastly there will be days when you just don’t feel it. This is when I reach out to people I love and care about for external validation. Again my brain wants to say “they are only saying that because you specifically asked for it”. And I say so what? Just because I asked my best friend to say nice things about me doesn’t mean he doesn’t mean it. We have a relationship built on trust; he would say tell me if something was wrong with me just as easy as what is right. The fact that he would do that for me speaks to how much he cares for me. I would do the same for him.

I can’t say that this is full proof or that it will even be relevant to your life (hell it doesn’t work for me all the time), but I hope there is some nugget of information that you can steal from this that might help you on your journey to self acceptance. Even if these aren’t the right answers for you, I can tell you that your answers are out there somewhere. Maybe they’re in you just waiting to be uncovered.

God bless:)

u/abowlofcereal · 3 pointsr/OkCupid

If a therapist is out of reach, perhaps some second-hand therapy might help. In my first session with a therapist he recommended the book Feeling Good.

It is significantly cheaper than a therapist and if you take time to read and do some of the exercises in the book, in all likelihood you will start to feel better about yourself. It's not specifically about relationships (though they are covered), but about depression and anxiety. Chances are if you're feeling down about your relationships you may also be feeling down about other stuff in your life too.

u/Mula_Bandha · 3 pointsr/GetMotivated

The one I'm reading :) Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy, by David D. Burns M.D.. It takes initiative but the first part of the book resonated with me a lot. Check it out

u/withoutclass · 2 pointsr/Meditation

Let me dispel what you've got going on here and shed some light that I hope you will find helpful.

I feel the same as you in many ways. I have had stretch marks all over my body my whole life. I had the same view, and I still struggle with body dysmorphia because of stuff exactly as you've described. When I sit my gut skin looks fat. I have nasty stretch marks all along my stomach for no reason. Shit happens and it can feel really bad, but you're the only one creating the problem. Here in lies the illusion, because you are creating the thoughts. You self perpetuate your own pain by dwelling, by self deprecating. None of this is healthy for you.

Therapists own. I used to feel the same way as you. I think there is this crappy stigma attached to seeing a therapist, as if somehow you're a weaker person or pathetic for needing help. It's a load of shit. You're seeing a therapist because you want to be better or you want to improve yourself. You're not weak, you're growing! Anyone that could look down on a person for trying to improve themselves is likely the type of person that wants everyone to be and feel as crappy as they do themselves. Heaven forbid someone try to improve. So get it out of your head that you're pathetic for taking steps to better yourself.

Body dysmorphia is not dumb, or pathetic, or sad. It is a real issue. Look at the words you are posting here my friend, it is crushing you, and for what? Illusion.

As far as wasting a professionals' time, that's nonsense. It is their job to help people. To listen and help you pull the wool from your eyes. Please make sure to take time and find a therapist that jives with you. Look at their website, read about their techniques, and even give them a call and ask them any questions you have. These people have made it their life's work to HELP PEOPLE, and unless you are some super advanced computer AI or dog, YOU ARE A PEOPLE. So quit letting thoughts get in your way of helping yourself.

Now about the "getting rejected a lot". That's life bro. It's sucks and can hurt, but the only person creating the "hurt" part is yourself. YOU are generating sad feelings, sad thoughts, and a hurt outlook over what happens. This is ILLUSION. It's not real, you've made it up and now you believe it. This is the core of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). This is why CBT meshes so well with meditation/zen/whatever you want to be interested in.


So please, get to a Psychotherapist. I mean a real therapist too, not a social worker, not someone that just wants you to "talk". You need to go to a full blown Psychotherapist, and one that specializes in anxiety, depression, and CBT.

In the mean time, you need to READ THIS BOOK. And I mean you NEED to. This book was written by the guys that pioneered CBT. It contains very helpful information that will bring to light what is happening in your mind. It will bring forth an awareness that you are not your thoughts and that the thoughts you are having can be rationally deconstructed and refuted. The book contains tools to help you realize the illusion of your thoughts, and that your mood, feelings, etc all follow your thoughts.

Once you dig into CBT, you will be readily drawn into the meditation community. To me, CBT flows extremely easily into meditation because of the way CBT approaches the thought process.

u/Robert_anton_wilson · 2 pointsr/OneY

Hi Scott!

Thanks for posting this here. I thought the article touched on a lot of points nobody really talks about.

Do you think self esteem necessarily needs to come from skills or attributes? Cooking, athletics, other mental tasks etc seem like skills.

I'm reading 'Feeling Good: the mood therapy by David D Burns' where he talks about self esteem emanating not from skills but from self acceptance.

Thanks again for sharing!

u/eddzr717 · 2 pointsr/Meditation

It's not meditation, but you might want to look into Cognitive Therapy. Feeling Good is kind of the intro to it that doesn't involve a psychologist.

u/jimboge32 · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Highly suggest audiobooks or if you have chrome on a computer and/or a voice assistant on a smartphone (Siri, Google, etc.) then use the Read Aloud/ Text-To-Speech features for books in the ePub format. Here's some links for these tools:

•Read-Aloud Features: Siri on iOS or Google on Android
•Online Text-To-Speech Program: Natural Reader (Free use for basic voice, sounds a little robotic but it's handy)
• Book Management Software: Calibre (can convert PDFs, Kindle format books to ePub. May not always work due to DRM and content formatting.)

Recommended books:
Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns, MD
(Amazing book for anyone looking to turn their mental health and lifestyle around with the power of cognition)

Mindsight by Dr. David Siegel, MD
(Another psych book dealing with various techniques for improving our mind-body-spirit connection from a neurobiological standpoint)

•.The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle
(The book has sort of a cult vibe but the overall message is about understanding who you are in the present and not letting your mind stop you from living beyond your physical capabilities)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
(Very down to earth guidelines about how to adjust perspectives that focus less on others and more on your own needs)

I wish you good luck and remember that everything you need is already with you.

u/ialan2 · 2 pointsr/self

If your parents are abusive it may be helpful to check out /r/raisedbynarcissists/ I think you may fit in well here considering your comment
> devalued anything and everything I did, showed 0 fucks about any of my interests

There is this thing called 'Cognitive behavioral therapy' that can help in these situations. Here's a book I have "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy " http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009UW5X4C/

u/dvs · 2 pointsr/SeriousConversation

Your friend is not wrong, but he's only half right. He's also framing how one deals with the negative aspects of life poorly. One should do their best to minimize the bad in life, or at least its effects. And, when possible, turn allegedly negative things to one's advantage. One should also do their best to maximize the positive aspects. A lot of it has to do with your perspective and what you focus on.

Everyone has to support themselves somehow. If the only available work is something unpleasant or undesirable, focus on what it affords you and put effort toward getting into a line of work you appreciate more. You can't prevent yourself from ever getting sick, but you can do everything in your power to stay healthy. Healthy eating, an active lifestyle, and getting regular medical checkups all have their benefits. If someone assaults you and you are permanently injured, you're going to have to cope with that, yes. But I'm sure any school worth attending will make accommodations for a student who was assaulted presuming they were made aware of the circumstances.

So, yes, you will have to learn how to cope with the bad things. But you also need to learn how to maximize the positive. Work towards a career you enjoy. Build friendships. Chase your dreams. All that. People tend to write off encouragement and positive thinking, and focus on the negative. But life is what you focus on.

If you struggle with this, I have a few recommended reads for you.

  • Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning". He was a holocaust survivor, and he writes about how even if you take everything else away from a person, they still have the freedom to choose how they react to their circumstances. If prisoners in a concentration camp can find ways to be generous and kind to one another and bring joy and love to each other, so can you.

  • Dr. David M. Burns' "Feeling Good". One of the first books written on Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), it's written in such a way that the reader can apply these therapeutic techniques to their own life. The premise is that our thoughts direct our feelings, and by learning to recognize cognitive distortions and correct our thinking, we can make large headway in dealing with depression. CBT subreddits and posts

  • Seneca "Letters from a Stoic", Epictetus "The Art of Living", Marcus Aurelius "Meditations". Three books by Stoic philosophers. Stoicism was to these ancient Greek and Roman philosophers what CBT is to modern psychologists. These three books contain some of the very best summaries of this school of philosophy. This isn't esoteric, inaccessible philosophy. This is wisdom directly applicable to the very sort of problem you and your friend are dealing with. /r/Stoicism

    I know this was an overly long response to your question, but I hope it helps. Learning how to cope well with life is one of the most important things a person can learn. I wish you, and your friend, well.

u/kaidomac · 2 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Sure, there's a whole set of books you should read on it, if you're interested Check out "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy":

https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C/

Also snag "Ten Days to self-esteem" by the same author, which is the workbook that goes along with it:

https://www.amazon.com/Days-Self-Esteem-David-M-D-Burns/dp/0688094554

The core concept of the books are that your thoughts create your emotions. How you feel is really how you think, which is a game-changing idea. So if you are willing to change the way you think, then you can subsequently change the way you feel. The workbook has you go through a week and a half of tracking what you think & then how you feel to help you identify your inner voice & see what you're actually saying to yourself.

It basically shows you how to recognize your self-talk. The thing with self-talk is that it is the voice inside our head that we use to think about things, and we pretty much believe whatever it says. So if fell off a bicycle once & never rode it again and every time you saw a bike, you think we'll that's dumb and I don't want to do that, you can audit that voice and realize that maybe you just need a little bit more practice to get good at pedaling & not falling over. In other words, you don't have to believe every thing you think.

So it basically teaches you how to recognize & control that voice by realizing that that voice exists and that it doesn't always tell the truth, and you can change how you talk to yourself in order to change how you feel. And thus, per your OP, you can adjust your thinking patterns to start improving your life because you'll be able to identify where you are shooting yourself down. Like when you start to do a task and quit, why does that happen? Do you feel bored? Do you feel it's impossible? You can use that inner voice to change how you think about that task and thus change how you feel about doing that task and thus actually push through & get that task done.

There's a cliche saying that your perception determines your reality, but that's pretty much how it works...what you think determines what you do. There's a great quote by Wayne Gretzky: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". If you tell yourself you can't do something, you can't make the shot, then you'll never try, which means you'll have a 100% failure rate. I saw a poster once that had a great explanation of the domino effect of how you think:

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

So yeah, definitely, by identifying the thought patterns you have, you can see where the kinks in your system are. I've gone through many of them over the years. Stuff like "why am I so overwhelmed all the time & don't follow through on all of my tasks or remember what all I'm supposed to do" led me to David Allen's GTD system. Wondering why I was so tired all the time & had a hard time pushing through hard tasks led me to improving how I take care of my body through sleep, diet, and exercise (although I'm still pretty awful at going to be early lol). Learning how to manage that inner voice, both in terms of not believing everything you think, and choosing to think in ways that will promote action instead of disable action, is a really powerful skill to develop.


u/BrianW1983 · 2 pointsr/Parenting

Have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Get this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

u/VicisSubsisto · 2 pointsr/insanepeoplefacebook

It's basically the only field of psychotherapy which has been able to compete with medication in clinical trials. This is the book my therapist prescribed, written by one of the founders of the field. The nice thing about self-help books is that you don't need a prescription or doctor's appointments, and they're often cheap. (Including in this case.)

The TLDR of it is that feelings are not absolute and originate from conscious and subconscious thoughts. Once the feelings take hold they can affect thoughts, which creates a feedback loop and makes the feelings stronger. By monitoring your own thought processes for certain distortion patterns, you can diminish or eliminate "bad" feelings before they start. However, the book goes much more in depth and explains exercises and techniques to help with this.

u/ellisftw · 2 pointsr/depression

I've been reading a book on Cognitive Therapy. The basic thought is that we create our unhappiness by continuing a cycle of negative thought. It's been helpful for me and studies have proven it is just about as helpful as drug therapy (according to independent studies).

Link here.

u/AD1337 · 2 pointsr/intj

Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns teaches you the basics of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), which is a great tool against depression and for, you know, feeling good.

u/BewareofHumans · 2 pointsr/philadelphia

It depends on your budget and your personal needs, but the best therapy option is CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). I'm going to throw a ton of info below for you or anyone interested with links throughout. Please DM if you have any more questions!

The very best trained in CBT you can find in Philly is at UPenn, who I have gone to for treatment with great success. They're renowned for their CBT program, you can't go wrong here, though they do not accept insurance, but you may be able to submit for reimbursement.
UPENN CBT: https://www.med.upenn.edu/cct/

However, from my personal experience, I found the greatest relief using Skype therapy. I must emphasize though, NOT through the trendy apps like 'better help' ...but through a private therapist who lives in Australia. It was much cheaper and incredibly effective - I once hit a point in my life where I could not leave the house, gave up driving, and only left bed to eat. I was pretty sure the next step on the list was death...after CBT therapy I've done a complete 180. Other therapists had unfortunately made my condition worse. I can't recommend CBT more if it's coming from the right source - psychologytoday.com will list 'cbt' therapists, but it's not the same or as in depth as a center with CBT as it's main focus.
(Please DM for the personal info of the therapist I used.)

Also, this self help book (clinically proven in double blind studies to help depression), is written by the founder of CBT. It's helped my brother and multiple friends through rough patches and helped to change their thinking before committing to therapy. It's called "Feeling Good, the new mood therapy" by David D Burns.

CBT BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

Lastly, there is a site available through Australian gov't healthcare program. They're mental health treatment is much more regulated, focusing on CBT methods. There are so many free worksheets tailored to specific concerns. It's an amazing resource and should be required reading for all humans!

CCI: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself


TL;DR: Click the last two links for inexpensive/free self help resources that are actually legit, and DM me if you have questions. I never had anyone help me or point me where to go and as a result suffered for over 10 yrs. I feel it's my duty to pass on what I've learned!!


u/soberingthought · 2 pointsr/stopdrinking

Therapy is super helping me right now and definitely helped me to build up the strength to get sober. I've got my weekly appointment this afternoon and I'm eager to get to it.

I'm thrilled with Zoloft, but I realize it's not for everyone. One of the old-timers around SD, /u/seeker135, mentioned this book helped him overcome anxiety without medication. I bought it yesterday but haven't cracked it open yet...I'm still chugging through SD's favorite, This Naked Mind right now.

Just as you feel I'm not arrogant, I feel you're not cheesy. Let's go out and be the best people we can!

IWNDWYT

u/bb0812 · 2 pointsr/Stoicism

Adding onto books, this one provided me the greatest amount of insights. Originally published in 1980 and have been reworked recently by the author in 2012. Tremendous amount of experience in it.

u/_sia_ · 2 pointsr/relationships

I think you and your girlfriend both have very high chances of meeting people who are better matches for each of you. There are fundamental cracks in the foundations of your relationship when you, all along, have been unable to efficiently communicate. Why try fixing something that never worked in the first place?

Break up and take some time and space to better work on your own issues. It's hard enough dealing with depression without trying to fix a dysfunctional relationship at the same time.

  • ^Mandatory ^plug ^for ^a ^book ^that ^helped ^me ^get ^out ^of ^my ^depression
u/Old_School_New_Age · 2 pointsr/stopdrinking

One item to pick up, just under the "general mental health" category is this book, which helped me change the way I looked at large portions of life. I despise self-help books, but this one is different. I actually felt better by the time I had finished the first chapter.

It may or may not offer assistance with your current situation, but it's a good read to make sure you're looking at life from the most positive (for you) outlook.

u/WildernessBillium · 2 pointsr/AskMen

Without knowing you, and comparing what you've written to what I've experienced myself, keeping occupied is the most critical. If I don't feel like I have something to work towards, tinker on, or otherwise focus on then I'm in danger territory and I need to make sure I'm on the ball on exercise, diet, and social life. If you're tired, distracted, puzzling out something your working on and looking forward to a party or something your brain probably won't have too much extra RAM left to worry. That's how it is for me at least.

If your in school, I would definitely seek out a counselor or your university's mental health clinic, or even a close friend of yours you trust that is open and understanding that you can talk to about your issues. I've found that vocalizing what I'm worried about instead of letting it roil around in my head all day often makes it so I forget about what I was worried about. I know religion gets a bad rap on Reddit but there is a Catholic Saint by the name of St. Ignatius of Loyola who struggled with anxiety and depression in the 1500's and his strategy for battling it was to give his worries a name. By identifying exactly what it was he was worried about and talking about them, he found he could either work to reduce them, or forget about them more easily. Anyway I digress...

If you're more of a reader I would recommend this book. It's been in print since the 70's and it can really help you identify some of the tricks and habits your brain can fall into that can make you feel miserable. Its geared more towards treating depression but many of the skills are applicable to anxiety as well

Finally, please feel free to DM me if you're ever in a pinch. I'd be more than happy to let you vent or share my thoughts and often, for me, writing what I'm feeling can help me make sense of them, to name them in other words.

u/metorical · 2 pointsr/gamedev

Hey theunknowngamedev,

I decided to delete my prior post and start again. Suffice to say I'm in a similar situation to you having spent 14 years trying to be a gamedev and I also quit my job so I could spend more time on it. My original post talked about the same problems you face but I've now turned my thinking around.

The thing that has helped me the most is writing a private journal. Whenever I get stuck I just open up the document and start typing. I ask myself questions and then try and answer as honestly as possible. This normally leads to more questions which I answer and so on and so on... This helps massively with my state of mind.

I was inspired by a successful game developer who did the same thing and actually published his journal Amazon Book

I'd also consider whether you're suffering from depression? I tried out a self help book and it helped immensely Feeling Good. At first I was really embarrassed to be reading this kind of thing but now I can honestly tell my friends that I felt really bad and had to dig myself out of a hole.

I hope some of this helps you!

u/lauvan26 · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Well, I'm currently struggling with GAD right now but a few years ago I was able to manage my anxiety and end my depressive episode with therapy, daily exercise, 9 hours of sleep a night, healthy diet and meditation. I noticed that major life changes are usual triggers for worsening my GAD (change=fear=anxiety). Also, if I don't get enough sleep my anxiety gets worse (and depression slowly creeps in) and I actually become physically ill. Two weeks ago I was in the hospital for dehydration because of gastrointestinal issues. I'm pretty sure that it was cause from getting only 3-6 hours of sleep a night for months/anxiety.

Therapy and meditation helped me a lot with dealing with past mistakes. It was great to have someone listening to me talk about my issues (prior to that I didn't have anyone who understood), it helped me to develop more insight about myself, it helped me notice negative thought patterns I had and how I made myself into "victim".

I realized that I am human and therefore I will make mistakes and it's okay. Whatever happened has already happened and there's nothing I can do to change it so it doesn't make any sense to ruminate on it. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was great to help me notice and change my negative thoughts.

Here a link about what is CBT: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cognitive-behavioural-therapy/Pages/Introduction.aspx

And here is a link for CBT worksheets. If you don't have access to a therapist or a therapist trained in CBT you can still get the benefits of CBT by doing CBT worksheet to help you realized how distorted your thoughts are: http://psychology.tools/anxiety.html

My old therapist also had me read "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy"
https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C?ie=UTF8&keywords=david%20burns&qid=1465227795&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1

After I did CBT, my other therapist introduced me to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helped me realize that thoughts are just thoughts. You are not your thoughts. Thoughts don't necessarily reflect reality. Even the good ones can be harmful if we are too attached to them. The best thing to is to not fuse with thoughts and feelings. Notice your thoughts but don't get attached to them (don't suppress them either). Notice your anxiety and notice where it manifest in your body (fast heart rate, headache, nausea, etc.). Give the physical sensations/emotions space but don't allow it to consume you. Always go back to awareness (this is where meditation is very useful). Procrastination/avoiding things that make you anxious will only cause more suffering and pain in the long run. You'll stay stuck.

The ACT method will not always make you feel better. That's not the point. It's about getting through the pain in order to have a more meaningful instead instead of hiding in bed. In addition, ACT puts a lot of emphasis on living life through your "values". If you live life through your values and commit to action, it doesn't matter what the outcome is because at least you are trying. You wont' feel like too much of a failure because you're working on life skills. You'll win no matter what.

Here is a pdf about more information about ACT: http://www.people.ku.edu/~tkrieshok/epsy888/act_cliff_notes.pdf

Russ Harris's book "The Happiness Trap" goes into more detail: http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841

The ironic thing about my GAD is that I have a lot of knowledge and I know what I need to do to get better, but I keep falling into my mind's traps. I don't talk to myself abusively like I used to (i.e. telling myself "I'm an idiot", "I'm ugly", etc.) and I'm not worried so much about things I have no control over (i.e. losing sleep over worrying about all the starving children in world, worrying about the state of the economy, etc.) But I still get caught with old thoughts, stories and feelings . They don't manifest like they used to. It's more hidden, more implicit. For example, I wake up in morning and I don't want to work. In the past, the thoughts that would filled my mind would be "I'm horrible at my job", "I'm going to get fired anyway" "Everyone is better than me" "I'm worthless". My heart would race and I would have a panic attack. Now, instead of thoughts I just have a feeling of mild dread/uncomfortable feelings, my stomach will start to hurt. I get a headache and my heart starts to race. Then I'll rationalize that I need to stay home because I don't feel well. Then I tell myself that tomorrow I will do everything I need to do. But I never do....thus begins the vicious cycle that is anxiety.

Anxiety is brilliant at disguising itself once you get past a certain point psychologically. It's incredibly deceptive and amazing at the same time. If we can just see anxiety for what is: a maladaptation of the fight-or-flight mode in situations that are not necessarily dangerous, we'll be okay.


Sorry for the long post.

u/mental_assassin · 1 pointr/NoFap

I know how that depression feels buddy, and it's crazy because sometimes you're so depressed you don't even care about fapping or sex. It's just your escapism manifesting in new ways. Mine takes all forms, from pain, to depression, to anger.

Currently reading this book, has been a great help so far, but it's a little early to tell: http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427407045&sr=1-1&keywords=feeling+good+the+mood+therapy

u/russilwvong · 1 pointr/suggestmeabook

David Burns, Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. Based on cognitive behavioral therapy, the idea that your thoughts affect your emotions. Good luck.

u/Yakob218 · 1 pointr/stopdrinking

Holy cow the things we can do to ourselves. Glad you're sober and being better to yourself. On top of meditation and exercise Feeling Good by David Burns M.D. has helped me out a lot.

u/othermatt · 1 pointr/MadeMeSmile

You could try this book

I've been working through it and feel like it's been helping. There's some evidence that using it on your own could be beneficial but it's probably better to use it with a therapist if you can.

u/riricide · 1 pointr/loseit

I second all the suggestions to get professional help with your mental health. This book was phenomenal for me in getting started.

u/codow · 1 pointr/suggestmeabook

Feeling Good by David Burns is the classic text for folks who know that they should be seeing a therapist but aren't for whatever reason. https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

If you're looking for something fictional, to just get you kind of out of that space, it depends on what you like but Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is cool, very light primer on spirituality without religion. Its essentially the story of Buddha (kind of). Great story!

u/parkaparkapark · 1 pointr/bipolar

My ex-fiance, who seems pretty determined to put labels on me on top of my bipolar, was really convinced that I had borderline personality disorder. I've talked to a few counselors and they really don't think that's the case, but out of wanting to do anything to feel better, I'd read some self-help books on borderline and I think the coping mechanisms might be useful. Namely, focusing less on "others-esteem" versus self-esteem.

In a different but related direction, I've got a friend that suffers more from unipolar depression, and he's very determined not to be in a relationship until he loves himself more, loves his own company, before he can consider himself "ready" to be in a relationship. I think he feels that he leans too much on his significant others for approval and feelings of self-worth, and I do that too. He swears by the book Feeling Good. It's a little corny, and the edition I have is from the 70s, but it seems to have stood the test of time, relative to other self-help books.

But this could be totally different from your case. But me, I personally can't stand myself and have a hard time finding fulfillment alone. I've been "dating" since I was 12 and am now 22, single for three months for the first time since pretty much puberty.

u/MindAlteringSitch · 1 pointr/ADHD

This is suuuper common, even among neurotypical people. In Feeling Good by Dr. Burns he refers to this as 'donothingism' and has a whole chapter full of ways to deal with it depending on your specific case. At the core of it is that you need to plan things, even if your plan is to watch a certain show or catch a nap then that is better than having a huuuge chunk of wide open time.

One potential cause for this is faulty assumptions about how much fun something will be. You try to think of things and decide they won't be worth it or that you won't enjoy yourself. Burns recommends an exercise where you note how you're feeling, then come up with an idea for something small to do. Write down the activity and then rate how much pleasure you think it will bring you on a scale of 1-100 (or 1-10 it's not a big deal either way). Go do the thing and then note how much pleasure you actually derived from it. This will help you objectively test the subjective thoughts that guide your behavior. This also works well if you think only certain things will be fun: going out with friends, doing something productive, etc. You can experiment and compare if you really do have more fun when you are with people or if it's simply having 'nothing to do' that is the not fun part.

Personally I like to have a book or other activity that I'm working on, which I can pick up whenever I have unstructured time and start to feel overwhelmed trying to pick something to do.

u/DownvoteAttractor_ · 1 pointr/india

Hello OP. Can I recommend you a book?

http://www.amazon.in/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

If you can't afford the book, here is a download link:

PDF

ePub

Getting married, making more friends won't lead you to a happy life. This book will teach you can be happy without having anything. This isn't some hippy Chicken soup for your soul shit. The author is a well known psychiatrist.

If you are gonna kill yourself, atleast give this book a try. Although the book is 700 pages long, the real content is about 350 pages.

u/7121958041201 · 1 pointr/CasualConversation

A therapist is going to be able to help you with this way more than anyone here (especially since apparently half the people here are suicidal). They're specifically trained for this kind of thing and can give you techniques, behaviors, medications etc. that are tailored just for your situation.

That said it sounds like your problem is concentrating on negative things. There are a lot of options to help with that. Mindfulness helps a lot and can be worked on with meditation. Keeping your life in general good order is another important step (exercise, sleep, nutrition, being social, keeping an active mind). After that I think the important thing is to identify what you really care about (your values) and stay busy working towards them. It's hard to be so negative when you're in the moment and things are going well in your life.

There are tons of books that can help too. Here's a fairly simple one that I enjoyed. Otherwise I'd recommend books on ACT therapy (e.g. "The Happiness Trap"), Stoicism (this one is good), Meditation ("Mindfulness in Plain English" is good and free), and CBT therapy (I like this one, though it's kinda long). "The Happiness Hypothesis" is another good overview type book.

u/arjungmenon · 1 pointr/IWantOut

This really depends. It has the potential to change things, but I think you'd have to put in some effort of your own as well. There are people that move simply hoping to improve their mental health. But moving is such a huge deal. Most importantly, you lose friends/community you have (if any). I think reading a book like Feeling Good, or going to a counselor (if you can afford) and working through some of the issues, could be bring more lasting, long-term relief.

u/DavesNotThere · 1 pointr/Buddhism

This isn't meditation related, rather it's about the back pain. I found CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) improved my moods enough to lower my chronic back pain. Feeling Good by David Burns is the book I read.

I'm also working thru Back In Control by Hascomm and Unlearn Your Pain by Schubiner.

Back in control is by a spine surgeon, Unlearn your pain is also written by a dr. Unlearn your pain focuses more on clearing up the mental stuff that leads to back pain and includes a meditation CD. I recommend all 3 books I've listed. Good luck, I know how bad chronic pain is.

u/khufumen · 1 pointr/lawofattraction

Your mind is playing tricks on you with worse case scenarios. I would highly recommend this book.

Question 1: if you don't cancel the thought and just let it pass, can it still come to be via LOA?

Answer: No, because you are not putting energy into it.

Question 2: why did my mind make that terrifying transition from "what if this horrible thing happens?" to "I am a victim of this horrible thing"?

Answer: Because you are asking a question that can only answered in the way you answered it. If you asked "What if I am raped?" then how could you possible answer that question without being a victim or imagining how it would feel like to be the victim?

u/vaz_ · 1 pointr/Meditation

I know exactly the feeling you're describing. I had to move back in with my mom for a few months last year and that is exactly how I felt... I couldn't get away from, well, them just living and doing their normal thing, which, after a decade living on my own in a completely different way than they do, was just unbearable. TV being on (the worst), dogs barking, occasional argument, tiring conversations, the Sims soundtrack coming out of my mom's phone, it was all driving me mad. I'd curl up on my bed in the dark with headphones on playing anything, white noise or rain sounds or whatever and doing breathing exercises just to get some mental space.

You're obviously really sensitive right now. You'll just have to find ways to cope while you're there, whether it's blocking things out with sound or earplugs, watching or playing or reading something engrossing, whatever. I don't know if there's really another way. I tried meditating to just "push through it" or make my brain at peace with it and I couldn't even start.

I felt tremendously better as soon as I got out of there and had a space I could call my own and control. Even if you can't do that right away, start making plans. It's not as financially smart as living at home but sometimes these things are more than worth it, even if you have to cut back in other areas.

It also sounds like you're going through a depression, especially based on your last paragraph. You need to realize that just because you can think of all those things at once doesn't mean you have to deal with them all at once... equating "I feel overwhelmed" with "everything is actually happening all at once and I have to deal with it all right now" is what they call a cognitive distortion (in cognitive therapy, which is possibly the best thing there is for depression). Cognitive distortions are what feed depression by making a feedback loop; luckily you can often break that cycle just by becoming aware of it.

I'm reading this book Feeling Good (which I've heard mentioned so many times before actually picking it up) which takes you through cognitive therapy concepts and so far I'm finding it really helpful... maybe you would too. If you ameliorate your depression (that I'm admittedly just assuming exists) your sensitivity will go down and you'll be able to deal with things a lot better I think.

u/rawrmaan · -1 pointsr/NoStupidQuestions

There's actually pretty recent overwhelming evidence that SSRI antidepressants have no effect at all other than the placebo effect.

If you want to feel better sooner rather than later, and avoid meds, I'd recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B009UW5X4C/ref=pd_aw_sbs_351_4?ie=UTF8&dpID=5176Hgp9x-L&dpSrc=sims&preST=_OU01_AC_UL200_SR200%2C200_&refRID=1SBFQJ3CP106QKQ42ZQZ

The technique used in the book is called CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). You can often do it all by yourself and it has very high success rates for people with depression and anxiety. Personally it helped me overcome some pretty serious anxiety.

Just want to make sure you know that pills are not the only option if you can't see someone tomorrow. In my opinion, pills are never worth it. Give the CBT a try, make sure you do the written exercises, and I have a feeling you'll be happy you did :)

u/swish1zero1 · -1 pointsr/socialskills

I would highly recommend reading Feeling Good

The good news is that anxiety, guilt, pessimism, procrastination, low self-esteem, and other 'black holes' of depression can be cured without drugs. In Feeling Good, eminent psychiatrist David D. Burns, M.D. outlines the remarkable, scientifically proven techniques that will immediately lift your spirits and help you develop a positive outlook on life.

Now, in this updated edition, Dr Burns adds an all-new Consumer's Guide To Antidepressant Drugs, as well as a new introduction to help answer your questions about the many options available for treating depression.

Recognise what causes your mood swings.

Nip negative feelings in the bud.

Deal with guilt.

Handle hostility and criticism.

Overcome addiction to love and approval.

Build self-esteem.

Feel good everyday.

u/SJWarriorPrincess · -1 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy-ebook/dp/B009UW5X4C

I 100% recommend this book. It's cognitive therapy in book form and no ones advice here can really help you, help her. She needs professional help, but this book can supplement that professional help while she waits.

Check out a used book store or buy on line.