Reddit mentions of Having it All

>Aren't women just supposed to be hot? Isn't that the thing that's unfairly imposed on them by society?

>Whereas men have to be strong, manly, confident, competent, successful, funny, good-looking, talented, creative, interesting, etc.?

I think it's the opposite way round, the range of expected positive attributes for women is greater, and has been since the mid-20th century when middle class women started to have careers.

The way gender roles used to be, middle class women were restricted to the domestic sphere, while men inhabited the world of work, and both were expected to be successful only in their respective areas. But now, women have been in the workplace for long enough that to be successful in that sphere is also expected, but the domestic arena is still seen as the woman's preserve. This is closely related to the idea embodied by the phrase 'having it all'.

So a woman has to have quite a few masculine attributes, as well as traditionally feminine ones such as being a good mother and homemaker.

However a similar shift hasn't yet taken place for men, we are still only expected to succeed in the world of work and to have traditional masculine virtues, not to also raise two perfect kids, etc (because that's still seen as a woman's job). There are some signs things are changing for men, for example the expectation on men to look good is certainly increasing, but we are in nothing like the same position as women yet.