Reddit mentions of How To Fall Out Of Love - New Revised Second Edition

I too got dumped out of nowhere without any real explanation. I'm going to skip the "time does its job" speech because every second feels like torture for you. Time does its job but you don't want to rely on it. So here's what I personally did and continuing to do.

I can certainly give you some advice on what I did to get me out of my pit of despair and onto the road of becoming happier by myself.

1. Run, run a lot. Running (and working out) releases endorphins that is going to make you feel wonderful and helps deal with the stress and sadness you're dealing with. Not only that, running is going to help you get into shape, which I recommend doing too. You now have all the time in the world to think about her constantly and the only way you can stop that is to occupy yourself in a healthy way. I emphasize running especially because you have no excuse to not to. It's free and at doable literally the second you step out of your house. No excuses.
   
   
2. Read. Read books whenever you can. Reading is going to help keep your mind healthy and active compared to throwing all your time into video games, tv, etc. Don't like reading? Well, make yourself read anyways. You'll love it, trust me. I'm going to throw in a starter for you. It's a self-help book that I found very useful and I wish I had found right after my break-up. I started reading it a couple weeks ago and it's helped me tremendously. The title is cheesy, I know. It's not the typical motivational type of book that makes you hate your ex. It's a step by step therapeutic method based book that helps you practice exercises and understand your feelings and actions. How to fall out of love.
   
   
3. Become more open-minded. One of the things always holding me back was that I didn't have an open mind to explore everything. I was always held back by judging something too quickly and what not. Take the time to explore a new thing or old thing that's come across your life where you didn't take the time to try out. Here's a silly example, but a example nonetheless; I was always quick to the pull the trigger on not wanting to explore music genres. All I had was metal and hard rock and that was it. Nothing else was comparable and was shit. When i started opening my mind more, I started to listen to other types. I've always had an issue with pop music and it always made me mad to listen to. Now, I turn the radio on and hear the same stupid lyrics but I can enjoy the beats they have and laugh at their cheesy retarded lyrics. I'm still not open-minded to listen to country though, fuck that. Lol.
   
   
4. Be friendly. You must already be a really nice lady or a bad one. I don't know you but you know you. And I know there was always room for improvement on me being a better human being. Venture and fill that extra room you have. Help people. Make others happy whether it be a mother, sibling, uncle, friend, or a complete stranger on the streets. With what life already throws at you constantly, there is no necessity for negativity you to add onto that. Learn to become calm and rational. Learn to be less judgmental and helpful to others. Just like how you're suffering right now, there are billions out there who have their own struggles as well. Expecting the world to suddenly become nice is silly, but don't you think YOUR world that you live everyday would be nicer if you could be friendlier and influence others to do the same?
   
   
5. Date yourself. You've had the wonderful experience to learn what kind of person your ex was and the moments you shared with him. Now it's time you do that with yourself. Miss going out with your ex out on a fancy dinner date? Take yourself out for a fancy dinner date. Want to take your ex to a movie? Take yourself to a damn movie date and hog the fuck out of the popcorn. You literally need to Treat Yo Self. Take the time to really appreciate who you really are and do things for YOURSELF. You are now your best friend, soul-mate, and lover (lol).
   
   
6. Explore new hobbies and activities around you. This is pretty self-explanatory. It helps you stay active, pick up new things to do, and potentially meet new friends.
   
   
7. Branching off of the last sentence, make new friends. There's always room for new people to meet and it's one of the most interesting and wonderful things you can do. Before you posted this, you didn't even know of my existence. You didn't even know of all these things I'm typing. isn't that the coolest shit that a complete stranger is helping you out? Your ex was one of the many people you will meet to share a wonderful life with. Whether it be an amazing friend that goes does the coolest shit with you like; skydiving, diving, rock-climbing, etc. To another guy who shares a portion of his life with you and gives you love and comfort. Or maybe a girl to do the same. Who fucking knows? Life throws curve-balls at you all the damn time and it's one of the coolest shit ever. You literally don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, isn't that just crazy?
   
   
8. Life may feel like it was at its peak and is now over, but it's not. You've experienced of the most wonderful AND painful things you could. Take the time to remember the memories you've had in the past whether they were great or bad, you survived them on your own and you should appreciate it.
   
   
9. Don't beat yourself up, please. In the end, all you have is yourself and you know that for sure. From the day you were born to the day you die, you are always going to be with you. Rather than despising your existence, learn to love it. YOU are the only person who always has the chance to be good to yourself. This is weird to write in that kind of perspective form but you get what i mean. Learn to stand up for yourself and making yourself happy, and no other person or thing can push you into a hole ever again.
   
   
10. Eat your vegetables, lol. Seriously, you need to eat healthier. Throw the junk food away and replace it with fresh meats, poultry, vegetables, etc. Not only is it going to make your body healthier but you'll feel much healthier and happier. You know there's always room for improvement in this area, don't come up with excuses why you can't.
    
    I think this is a good place for you to start. One thing I highly recommend is do a one-time bargain with your depressed side. It's no use fighting it right now. I totally understand that. Pick a free day you. Whatever day works for you. (I picked a Sunday night). Get into your pajamas, get a tub of ice cream, turn on Netflix (or whatever you prefer), and cry and indulge yourself away for the night. You deserve it. Let this be your final cry before a start to a better you and lifestyle. And do not have another night like that. This isn't a do it every once in a while type of thing, this is to bargain with your depression so you have no excuses to start the next day.
    
    Listen, it sucks ass right now. I know it does. But it does get better. Time helps and all that bullshit but the true source of you getting through this is if you help yourself and not waiting for time to do its job. Grab the bull by the horns and ride it into the unknown.
    Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to pm anytime about anything. Whether to chat up or for some advice. :)

Your assumption that everyone is on the take is just wrong. I've lived a long time, met a lot of people in a variety of locations, and the one thing I can tell you for sure is that there are many more good, kind, helpful people of both genders (or all), than bad. Most people just want to get along in their lives, and understand the golden rule, "Treat others how you wish to be treated by them."

The thing is, people live up to our expectations. If you expect people to lie, cheat, steal, those are the people you'll notice and gravitate towards. If you expect them to be decent people who will help if asked--and who will often volunteer without being asked--you'll notice those people.

Yes, people make mistakes. We sometimes mistake our own intentions, or come across situations that change our minds about other people, but that's part of life, which will never quite follow the life scripts I mentioned. And yes, there are those who will use anyone and everyone--but you know them by their actions, not their words. 'Trust, but verify' might be a better approach than 'mistrust everyone.'

This may sound counter-intuitive, but I was once in a relationship I had a hard time letting go of after it ended. I spent my fair share of time wallowing, but eventually knew I had to let go and move on. A book I found, "How to fall out of love," has simple cognitive behavioral exercises that helped me identify and change my own negative thought patterns.

The reverse side of that, of course, is that there are also simple exercises that help you make better choices in pursuing the next relationship. (Google 'cognitive behavioral therapy' for a broader view.)

No one's perfect. We all struggle, even those labelled as 'normies' and 'Chads'--you just haven't seen their struggles because you're focused on your own, and it's easier for you to think, naturally enough, that their life is just easy. It isn't, though.

That's why you got such a kind response from /u/ceDrowRanger. She recognizes that life is hard and you're struggling too.

Good luck to you!

I liked the book "How to Fall Out of Love" - Deborah Phillips & Paul Judd

Not specifically redpill, but it might give ya some new ideas.

The methods are good for all parts of life. Helps to see how our thoughts and beliefs about a situation create our emotions. Good practice for developing mental control & strength of mind.

I highly, highly, from-personal-experience HIGHLY, recommend the techniques in the book, [How to Fall Out of Love] (https://www.amazon.com/How-Fall-Out-Love-Revised/dp/098558100X) by Debora Phillips.