Reddit mentions of I Cannot, Yet I Must: The True Story of the Best Bad Monster Movie of All Time Robot Monster

> Have there been ayahuasca users or tourists who ended up committing suicide?

u/NicaraguaNova Valued Poster April 14, 2019: "This morning I woke up to the news that there has been another suicide at an ayahuasca retreat center in Peru. This is my open letter to the ayahuasca community, we need to be more honest and attentive about our experiences at these centers. We need to do better. It is not my intention to bring negativity onto the subject of ayahuasca, on the contrary I love this community, but we need to learn from these mistakes." Ayahuasca retreat suicides - We need... www.reddit.com/r/Ayahuasca/comments/bd1avb/ayahuasca_retreat_suicides_we_need_to_do_better/ (w/ vid /www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvShu0lxlOw linked)

(@ the youtube page) Link to suicide note on FB from the shaman at Blue Morpho - https://www.facebook.com/MalcolmRossi... (for info): Nov 19, 2018 reddit thread (Acknowledgment: u/neilini123 OP) with 41 replies, Head Shaman of Blue Morpho Retreat center in Iquitos Peru just commit suicide www.reddit.com/r/Ayahuasca/comments/9yjjut/head_shaman_of_blue_morpho_retreat_center_in/

Link to the post on facebook about the suicide at Rainforest Healing Center - https://www.facebook.com/rainforesthe... Link to reviews page for RHC, including posts by an ex-facilitator - https://www.facebook.com/pg/rainfores...

Related info - (youtube vid, Oct 12, 2019) Nelson Deschene AYAHUASCA suicide BEWARE/DANGER owner William Feldman "Rainforest Healing Center" www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvC9MCjCWiw

As I study what facts I can garner from the liveliness in endless spin that 'bodyguards' proprietary interests in 'community' discourse - questions in evidence are what I mainly discover like mysteries as yet unsolved - with no clear answers.

Sounds like you might be finding out yourself what I mean, stumbling onto key questions you realize - whatever the answers may prove to be (if they can ever be obtained). Merely in the course of some directed investigation of your own, kicking over internet rocks and boards to see what's under them ... including a fog of obscurity surrounding certain little incidents or events in the intrigue as it's been gathering and developing, apparently deepening as it darkens apace. E.g. the ESC affair.

But answers or no - so far - good solid questions beat any 'rush to judgment' or jumping to conclusions from preliminary, incomplete info. Questions as discovered/detected (not 'divined' from intellectual 'principles' of 'what would make sense' etc) - vitally chart key points of entry into a discursive maze of mirrored funhouse walls. The topsy-turvy web of intrigue, rabbit holing and so on is likely no 'mere coincidence' - as if accident or simple twist of fate.

More likely a routine matter of obfuscation and obstructive manipulation - a la 'confusion, diversion and misleading indicators deliberately sown' - in service of human exploitation (e.g. Vallee, MESSENGERS OF DECEPTION).

As I study this I have trouble keeping sympathetic thoughts at bay of poor ROBOT MONSTER (alas, "I knew him, Horatio") at a certain constant consistent sound of lowest pitch underlying and unifying the entire dyscursive symphony - like an ominous ostinato - echoing the fatal futility Robot Monster's 'must but cannot' predicament, his fate.

And ROBOT MONSTER was his own - well, not exactly 'man.' But individual, sole agent of whatever kind. As such whatever he was or tried "to be or not to be" - he didn't even speak in pluralizing 1st person voice of communitarian 'We Must, We Must, We Must Build Up The Bust' - exerting expressly the de-individualization that pervasively typifies any cult - or subculture 24/7 - to everybody from everybody, one for all and all for one - all from 'community' to 'community' all the time.

As if 'sageproof' (rather than foolproof), 'safely' secured from any risk of 'can do' success (even as a 'possibility') poor ROBOT MONSTER worded his hopeless dilemma of bankrupt prospects - oh the futility: "I must, but I cannot. How to calculate that? At what point on the graph does the Must line intersect Cannot?"

(I've only seen the movie; not read the book I Cannot, Yet I Must: The True Story of the Best Bad Monster Movie of All Time Robot Monster www.amazon.com/Cannot-Yet-Must-Story-Monster/dp/0692576622 )

Even with all his might focused on the destruction of every last hu-man (and hu-woman) ROBOT at least understood it fell upon him to TCB personally, individually - as tasked by his jerk Robot boss "Guidance Ro- Man" giving our poor evil protagonist a scant 24 hrs to wipe out the hu-men - 'or else' be 'eliminated' (as an inept failure to the conquest-of-earth Cause). Such 'duty' of necessity was nothing ROBOT MONSTER could speak for in any 'group' capacity - or delegate to a 'community' in which each member as an 'instant friend' of all and sundry 'on board' - speaks in 'we' terms not 'I' - "We Must Do Better (We Can't Go On ...").

If an individual could competently speak for anyone but himself individually under circumstances of relational subversion, ethical manipulation - values obfuscation masquerading as clarification, urgently insistent - wouldn't it be nice? Almost a Beach Boys tune.

If communitarian exhortions 'we' must do better, FYI broadcasts from 'us' to 'us' - on 'our' behalf - could somehow enable 'us' to address issues, as desperately wished - maybe blood could be squeezed from a stone. And squeezing blood of conscience from the entitlement of stoned subcultural exploitation - would be possible at least.

But even admonitions 'to us, from us' of most credible maximum sincerity - have no such potential, in part for a fatal failure to grasp human reality in its 'devil of detail' nuances.

Or so I conclude thus far by comprehensive analysis of this entire situation - based in whole evidence, the good bad and the ugly; no 'cherry-picking' or 'playing favorites.' Nor any taking prisoners e.g. 'We Got This, We Can Do This' - no comfy POW quarters for any 'community' pretensions with fingers crossed behind their back 'for the best.'

For whatever reasons, be they 'good reasons' or merely - explanatory (clearly albeit 'for better or worse') - wouldn't it be awesome if, say, the Mafia could 'take charge' of all this crime oozing out of its 'rogue elements' giving it a bad reputation - threatening its stranglehold on business it's been moving in on for years so carefully staging its 'entryism' (infiltration) of whatever industries, labor unions and economic 'controlling interests' to get hold of the reins and crack its own whip on what problems it creates - problem creator-and-solver in one.

Maybe we could have a Trump administration look into its own misconduct and there'd be no need for any 'external' concern to take a look at like some watchdog oversight with no dog in any of Trump's vested interests.

A US House of Reps wouldn't be needed to conduct any 'impeachment' hearings - the POTUS could straighten himself up to fly right, cease and desist whatever abuse of power, high crimes and misdemeanors. The show could go on, giving the public what it wants. As indeed any grifter with his carny operation will affirm, on PT Barnum principle about fools and their money being soon parted, 'can't stop the music' - ze show must go on. Und - it vill.

(from one among few articles I find on internet bringing any better-focused perspective than that of a 'community' to bear on 'all this'): < The shaman [Don Lucho] told Foreign Correspondent that Mr Dawson-Clarke's death was "his destiny". Foreign Correspondent also tracked down British ex-pat Andy Metcalfe the tour operator who organised and facilitated his trip. He also denied responsibility. "I don't accept blame for what happened," he said. "We had well over 1,000 people on retreats before Matt came along and no incidents whatsoever." ... >

< Tour operator says 'shit happens' ... Mr Metcalfe now runs his own ayahuasca retreat called Gaia Tree Retreat, servicing hundreds of foreign tourists each year. Asked if safety standards had improved since Mr Dawson-Clarke's death, he replied: "It's not very easy to get first aid training in Peru, in Iquitos, so ... it's not really possible... I don't want to say not possible; it's not easy." >

< When deaths do occur at retreats, those in charge are rarely made accountable... some tourists never return home. > Ayahuasca: Grieving parents issue warning to backpackers after son's death on jungle drug retreat Mar 14 2017 www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-14/grieving-parents-issue-warning-on-ayahuasca-danger/8345808