Reddit mentions of I Killed a Bunch of Folks

I skimmed your summary on Amazon. Have you noticed that every sentence begins with a dependent clause or prepositional phrase? It gets a little tiring. It's like how every movie begins with, "In a world where..." Maybe it's a fundamental flaw in your writing style that drives readership away?

Also, your opening sentence is incredibly long and describes instead of tells. You want something punchy in there to grab the reader.

Current: When eight-year-old June McMillan is taken from outside her school by an unhinged former mental patient who steals children named after the months of the year, she dissociates in a wondrous fantasyland she calls "Rainbow Bridges," where the shiny silver trout talk to each other in their special bubble language and the friendly beavers never, ever eat them.

Suggestion: The Calendar Killer ripped June McMillan away from her school bus stop. Unable to cope with her terrifying new world, she invents one in her mind called Rainbow Bridges, where conversations with shiny trout make her feel safe.

People aren't going to be drawn in by phrases like "unhinged mental patient" and "dissociates." Those are descriptions that conjures up bad horror movies and pop psychology. Show people what dissociation is like. Let people conclude for themselves from his actions what kind of person the killer is.

I'm a failed writer as well, so what do I know. You can see my crummy non-seller here: http://www.amazon.com/Killed-Bunch-Folks-T-L-Miller/dp/1411674162/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1393662372&sr=8-1&keywords=i+killed+a+bunch+of+folks

12 copies sold.

I gave up after this turkey, though, and went on to create a pretty successful e-commerce business (cookbookpeople.com) and am starting another. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and re-channel that creative energy into something people want.