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Reddit mentions of Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It

Sentiment score: 3
Reddit mentions: 5

We found 5 Reddit mentions of Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It. Here are the top ones.

Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
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Release dateJune 2014

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Found 5 comments on Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It:

u/TimePractice · 7 pointsr/IWantToLearn

>Lately I have been working out regularly, I have lost weight and my strength has increased drastically. But aside from taking care of my body which will give me confidence, and help me with mental health.

>I should have graduated this year but I had to take off a year to help my father with our business (which is doing poorly and is contributing to our stress at home). I feel a bit useless but I should be graduating in Spring 2020.

You have your shit together. You helped your family in a time of need and you're graduating soon. That is having your shit together.

> My mental health is in an okay state, I don’t get panic attacks or anything anymore. I just have mild moments of my anxiety trying to trick me into believing something is wrong with me.

>I also don’t have a proper sleeping schedule, some days I go to bed at 2 AM or 3 AM and wake up whenever I want.

These two might be linked. If you don't get enough sleep then you'll get anxiety. If it's just going to bed late and you're getting enough sleep there is nothing wrong with that as long as you're productive; which seems to me that you are.

Okay when it comes to anxiety here is a copy and pasted comment from all of the stuff I've been doing/ trying to do:


Things I'm Doing Now

  • Thought Records With A CBT app

  • Journaling

  • Mindfulness Meditation with Headspace App

  • 30 minutes of exercise a day. Mostly swimming which helps with timed breath.

  • Exposure therapy. I find ways of doing shit that scares the fuck out of me and getting use to it. This is fucking hard.

  • Councilling

  • Group Support

  • Talk to friends

  • No caffeine no stimulants.

  • Beta Blockers for high blood pressure (I want off of them)

  • I had to cut back on work and am trying to learn how to have lower standards for myself and to love myself.

  • I'm trying to get my hands on Universe Sandbox VR (I'm not really spiritual but space helps me feel that grander feeling and that's really good for anxiety.)

  • I also did the Jordan Peterson Self Authoring program. It was okay, but I wouldn't recommend past authoring for people with PTSD. It's just a writing exercise. I found 12 rules for life to be bad, but that's just my opinion. I personally don't recommend Jordan Peterson for dealing with anxiety, but his future planning and present authoring is helpful.

  • I also do no fap, but not really because I believe in all of the shit that r/nofap says. It's just a slight edge.

  • Asserting myself properly. This one takes time to learn. Some people with anxiety just can't say no. I always could and would fight with people, but that's not really being assertive.

    Things I Plan To Do

  • Diet Changes with clean protein(boneless chicken breast, chickpeas, beans, non fatty cuts of meat, salmon), carbs(greens, fruits, moderated startchy carbs), and fats (flax, nuts, fish). I also want to work on changing my gut bacteria. (A good note is sometimes your anxious because your blood sugar is low)

  • Finding new interests. I literally have nothing I like to do.

  • Potentially EMDR or hypnotherapy. (These are both controversial)

  • Been busting my ass trying to get a proper sleep schedule together. (THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT) Joe Rogan has a wicked podcast with someone that studies sleep.

    Resources

    https://www.anxietycanada.com/adults/creating-a-map

    https://my.headspace.com

    I like the Buddhist Society

    Books that I've read that have helped me

  • Rewire Your Anxious Brain: How to Use the Neuroscience of Fear to End Anxiety, Panic, and Worry (Explains the neuroscience of anxiety)

  • The ABCS of Coping with Anxiety: Using CBT to manage stress and anxiety (Explains how to deal with anxiety)

  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love (Talks about relationship anxiety. Super interesting stuff!)

  • Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It

    All of those books were written by academics and not just some asshole guru. Mostly phd psychologists, neuroscientists, and medical doctors.

    When it comes to your negative thinking:


    You're pretty fucking hard on yourself. Negative thoughts have purpose and ignore that power of positivity bullshit. Learn to be mindful and compassionate towards yourself because you're going to burnout if you beat the shit out of yourself. There is a mindful self compassion workbook by Kristin Neff Phd that you should pick up.

    You don't have to do all of the things I do. I recommend that you engage in some hobbies, talk to some friends, find community, and think about the stuff you did for your dad as meaningful. You have a lot that you've done and to be absolutely honest I'm a bit envious.

    Meditation will help with your sleep. Take breaks. Don't spend too much money, and just try to be understanding of yourself man. Talk to someone before mental health gets to be too much.

u/Crystal_Critter · 5 pointsr/relationship_advice

Buy this.

Read it.

Work on yourself. Stop downplaying your mistakes.

You and I are cut from the same cloth. You're going to keep running into this roadblock if you let your fears continue to get the best of you.

Good luck.

u/WhiteTigerZimri · 4 pointsr/limerence

It sounds like he probably has an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style, and has not reached a place in the relationship where he is becoming more secure - which most people do over time. Lack of secure attachment seems to prolong limerent feelings. It would be really helpful if he could find a therapist who specialises in attachment issues and developmental trauma, to help him heal.

I'd recommend checking out 'Attached' by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, as well as 'Insecure in Love' by Leslie Becker-Phelps.

This article is also a good starting point: How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship

u/NautilusShell99 · 2 pointsr/AskLesbians

It sounds like you probably have an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style. If you can afford to see an attachment focused therapist, I'd highly recommend it. If not, consider checking out the following books as they have a lot of great advice about this:

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Insecure in Love by Leslie Becker-Phelps

Love Me Don't Leave Me by Michelle Skeen

I've also found EFT tapping to be a very useful technique for reducing anxiety and managing difficult emotions, and you can learn it for free online.

u/Sunflowerfield1 · 1 pointr/actuallesbians

I'd recommend checking out the book "Insecure in Love". It's for people with an Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style: https://www.amazon.com/Insecure-Love-Anxious-Attachment-Jealous-ebook/dp/B00KBEHMJ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1506325595&sr=8-1&keywords=insecure+in+love