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Reddit mentions of Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

Sentiment score: 6
Reddit mentions: 16

We found 16 Reddit mentions of Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. Here are the top ones.

Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
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Found 16 comments on Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life:

u/solidcheese · 6 pointsr/ADHD

In order:

  1. Vyvanse. I'm not a pill person...so this was a lifestyle change for me.

  2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketogenic_diet calms me down somehow. Not sure why.

  3. Alarms. Lots of alarms. I accepted that I have no sense of time.
  1. Focus on a good nights sleep at night, 7 days a week, consistently.
  • Melatonin to help me get to sleep.
  • Completely dark room to sleep in.
  • Ear plugs.
  • Air cleaner which I only mention because it adds white noise to the bedroom.

  1. Learning responsibility, accepting things as they are. These worked for me:
u/blyng · 6 pointsr/selfhelp

Thoreau: 'the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation'.

Anyway, I think your problem is that you need the world to be a specific way before you allow yourself to be happy. That is, if your expectations of how the world should be aren't how things are, you feel unhappy, disatisfied. Now, how likely is it that the world is going to conform to your expectations? Even the rich and powerful can't control all the events in their life. What does that mean? It means that you (and they) will likely be unhappy much of the time.

This lady, [Byron Katie] (http://www.thework.com/), addresses that. Her main idea is that the only way you are going to be happy in life is if you love what occurs in your life. She even has a book about it, [loving what is] (http://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371/ref=sr_1_1/179-8180109-1575332?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414516651&sr=1-1&keywords=loving+what+is+byron+katie).

Basically, what you are experiencing is one of the consequences of being self-aware; an aspect of the meaning of life question. Katie's answer is only one of the many that people have come up with over our existence. Lots of territory for you to explore. Think of it this way; our happiness is too important to be left to chance.

EDIT: add links

u/[deleted] · 4 pointsr/philosophy

If you're wondering HOW to not concern yourself with things out of your control (or to stop doing so), here are some resources that have helped me a lot:

Feeling Good by David Burns

A great book by a psychiatrist. Very funny to read and a lot of very effective real world techniques to reduce stress, anger, depression, etc. Burns is very practical and down to earth, and provides scientific evidence that the techniques in the book really work.

The Work by Byron Katie

Even simpler process than what Burns provides. Very philosophical and mind blowing (which is the point). She has a ton of free audios, videos and text available.

One of my favorite teachers is Eckhart Tolle. I hated religion for a long time and he helped me understand it better and let go of my anger.

There are many others, but these have probably been the most helpful for me.

u/blusbrother · 3 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

you are not in a marriage, you are in a horrible situation

“Oh yeah? Well I don’t see many men knocking down your door.”

this is his reflection of his own inadequacies he is a loser and knows it

buy this book move on with your life. it changed mine in about 2 hours (https://www.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371)

u/AufDerGalerie · 3 pointsr/askgaybros

A resource that’s helped me with accepting things as they are is regularly doing a process called “The Work” that was developed by a woman named Byron Katie.

She has IRL workshops you can go to—I have not gone to any of those. I have only read her main book and watched a bunch of her videos and listened to some of her audio recordings.

I regularly meet with a friend to do worksheets together (go to the “downloads” link and look at the “judge your neighbor worksheet” and “the four questions”).

My friend has gone to Byron Katie’s 9 day school for the work—I have not because it costs $6,000. You can definitely do the work without going to the 9 day school.

I think a lot of what Byron Katie teaches are things that one can also get to via psychotherapy or having a daily meditation practice. I think those are good things to do as well.

One thing about what you said in your post—you said you don’t like when people say that you will find a boyfriend because they don’t know for certain that you will. That’s true, they don’t. But it’s also true that you don’t know for certain that you won’t.

I think people who are able to be loving (towards themselves and other people) can find opportunities to give and receive love, and that no one is excluded from that.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk. xoxo

u/Sastira · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

Loving What Is
I Need Your Love: Is That True?
The Way of the Superior Man

My therapist told me to purchase and read these books. I did. These books, in addition to my therapy, were instrumental in pulling me out from where you are right now.
I once was at a point where I didn't leave the house. For a year. I barely left my room. I can empathize with your situation. Get those books, find a therapist, and try. It is hard, it sucks and it hurts, but it is worth it in the end.

u/MMeldrem · 2 pointsr/NoFap

Yes, I also have a minor case of Asperger's (now redefined as Autism on a severity scale). Sometimes I feel that there's nothing that can help Asperger's, but that's just if I'm letting myself be negative.

After 20 days or so, I definitely see a noticeable improvement in my openness with people, and my ability to express my true intentions when talking to people, even including complete strangers, to a degree. So keep at it.

However, one other major factor in my life right now is my practicing of mindfulness. Some people get into "meditation," and I quote it like that because I mean it as a formal meditation practice, where you physically sit down and do it, as compared to the meditation you can do in day to day life. I have done formal mediation sittings, and possibly I should make a point of getting back into those, but as long as you take time from your day and truly stop and do nothing, that can be considered the same thing.

Mindfulness, to me, is the process of taking a look at things from your heart instead of your mind. Letting things be and loving things exactly as they are (even if they are "bad"), so that you can then act out your life from your place of true intent, instead of from your reactive mind, which already confuses itself. I feel that being mindful of our actions and all things around us is one of the most useful ways of improving your happiness as an Aspie.

For example, if you are not where you "want to be" in your life, such as the conditions of no girlfriend, bad job situation, poor social life, etc., then the first step is to truly accept these conditions simply as they are! Whatever situation you are in, that is the exact place that you should start from since that is the only place that is reality. Just like if you wanted to travel to the other side of the world, at first it would seem like an daunting task, but if you lined up a car, plane ticket, hotel reservations, travel money, and a passport, then you could just take the steps one by one and go on your trip. The same is true with your life. You must start where you are, and with your life, "starting" from exactly where you are means accepting exactly where you are, deeply. From there you can take the next step openly and freely. If you don't accept where you are, your Autistic mind can easily get swept away in the "what-ifs" and the negativity. At least I know mine does if I'm not careful.

I know this isn't exactly what you asked, but it's what I can offer as advice as a fellow NoFapper/Aspie. I feel that mindfulness is extremely helpful with our condition. If you can do it right. There's no "right" way to be mindful, but I guess you can say there are wrong ways. At some point, if you can sift through the thoughts and sort out the ones that make you suffer from the ones that don't, then that is your answer. There are no right answers, there are only your answers.

Two books that have helped me on my journey are The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, which has been mentioned on NoFap before, and Loving What Is by Byron Katie (also mentioned before). The first is almost like one of the quintessential books on the topic, but can be a little more vague if you're not good at understanding "deep" stuff, although he does walk through some stuff in a pretty matter of fact way. The second is more practical look at things that utilizes a process known as "The Work" that helps you dissect negative thoughts and find out what is really true for you. And trust me, once you start acting out from a place of who you really are, and how you really feel, it's awesome!

It's not automatic. It's a work in progress. But it's great having another tool that goes with you. Whenever you have a "problem," you are in your mind, in your thoughts. Trust this. When something happens in the day, if you feel something's not right, you can apply some of the concepts, such as just coming back down to reality and feeling the energy in your body (Eckhart), or you can go through The Work and ask yourself, "Is that really true? Where would I be without that thought?" It's almost like you can be your own little Reddit, and answer questions for yourself! Lol.

tl;dr Mindfulness combined with NoFap can definitely help you see the improvements if you have Asperger's. It seems like mindfulness can help with NoFap, and vise versa. If you resist the urge, you are training yourself to be mindful, and if you can be mindful, you can resist the urge.

Here are links to those two books, if you are interested. If you'd like and can't afford, I'll buy them for you:

The Power of Now

Loving What Is

u/sovereign_self · 2 pointsr/awakened

For reference:

Worksheet and instructions: http://thework.com/en/do-work
Book: Loving What Is

u/Foxprowl · 1 pointr/AskReddit

This is what helped me. I struggled processing my daily life and starting showing signs of depression. My doctor made me see a therapist and the therapist prescribed be drugs. I didn't like the way the drugs made me feel so I looked for other means to help.

Loving What Is helped me understand my thoughts and I'm learning to accept reality while bettering myself. The book has a really good introspection technique that has transformed my way of thinking. I know it looks cheesy, but a lot of what this woman says helps and I find the process works.

u/Redequlus · 1 pointr/booksuggestions

I have read a couple of decent books that are kind of a spiritual/metaphysical approach to self-help. These aren't so much about self-confidence as they are about gaining a more peaceful perspective on your entire life, which in turn will help you feel more confident about yourself.

The first is called Loving What Is by Byron Katie. She discusses a method called the turnaround, where you examine negative beliefs about yourself, and sort of meditate on them to realize that they are not true. Then you start to replace them with more positive beliefs, and your perspective becomes a lot brighter.

Another one I liked is Work Sex Money by Chogyam Trungpa.. This one is about taking a sort of Western-adapted Buddhist approach to your life without traveling to a monastery or any of the garbage that people assume they have to do in order to be more peaceful. It provides very logical ideas for examining your life and taking the stress out of it, which will help you find more of your own identity.

Finally, this is a bit of a weird one, but A Course in Miracles is my favorite. I don't recommend this for personal reading, but if you can find a weekly group or something where they read this book, it can be an amazing resource for improving your life. The book goes against a lot of Christian beliefs about the afterlife and metaphysics, but it basically teaches that you are the only one in control of your life.

If these are too intense, maybe try Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Ken Wapnick. Sorry if none of these interest you.

u/NekoLaw · 1 pointr/TwoXChromosomes

Visit this website. And read this book.

That's the best advice I have to give about managing unrealistic expectations.

u/anonymousbjj · 1 pointr/bjj

For sure. It sounds so simple but it took me a long time of reminding myself to keep doing it. Something we have to keep remembering until it's habitual. I often find when I get frustrated with things it's just me worrying about something out of my control. For what it's worth this is an excellent book about it: http://smile.amazon.com/Loving-What-Four-Questions-Change/dp/1400045371/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1465221173&sr=8-1&keywords=loving+what+is

u/Kate-Capsize · 1 pointr/AskWomen

Cool then I think you'll get these! If you don't know them already.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is the most famous one. I read it over and over. He also has tons of videos on YouTube.

The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer is the same principles but in much plainer English.

The Work by Byron Katie is an actual exercise you can do to challenge your thoughts. You ask four questions, and it helps deconstruct your thoughts and show you how untrue they are. And once you know they're not true, they lose their power. She also has lots of videos on YouTube.

Check out the reviews or vids and see if any speak to you. Books saved my life, it's amazing how something that costs $2 (I get them used) can change so much.