Reddit mentions of Marshmallow Test, The

>he io non ho mai avuto è la forza di volontà e la dedizione necessaria per intraprendere

La volonta' e' la variabile che piu' di tutte puo' predire il successo; c'e' un libro interessantissimo su questo, che describe uno straordinario esperimento, durato decenni.

Chi - da piccolo - era disposto a sacrificare qualcosa nel presente per ottenere un vantaggio nel futuro ha avuto veramente una marcia in piu' nella vita, e in genere si e' rivelato piu' felice ed ha avuto piu' successo sia nella professione che nella vita in genere (meno divorzi, meno dipendenza da droghe o alcool)..

Questo per dire che la determinazione e' una virtu' importantissima, e anche se tutti noi ne abbiamo una dote in partenza, PUOI COLTIVARLA.

Leggiti questo libro, poi cambia un po' per volta, senza fretta, il modo in cui fai le cose.

I know this doesn't directly address your questions, but I think that this information might be more useful, since you're thinking about your "parenting" skill.

First of all, I don't think you should be on a subreddit where people share stories about parents for actual parenting advice. Parenting styles, and their effects, is an active field of research and there are some evidence-based resources. In particular, I would recommend the Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self Control. If you don't want to read the whole thing, skip to the last chapter for steps to implement these practices. A great counterpoint to Amy Chua is Angela Duckworth, who is also Chinese-American, raised by strict immigrant parents. In particular, Duckworth is a psychologist who has studied resilience in children, so she is actually qualified to comment on parenting from the perspective of a researcher, as well as a parent (in contrast, Chua is a lawyer). Some of Duckworth's early research is in the Marshmallow Test, but she also wrote Grit: the Power of Passion and Perseverence. If you're just interested in a very simplified description of parenting styles, here's a nice webpage from Vanderbilt University, but there are multiple sources online. I would recommend sticking to websites affiliated with universities and medical organizations for advice.

In particular, the American Psychological Association has written about "tiger" parenting:

> Tiger parenting is a little different than authoritarian parenting in that tiger parenting includes high levels of negative parenting (e.g., strict rules) and high levels of positive parenting (e.g., warmth and support)...

> Using samples of Hmong, Chinese, and Korean American parents all aimed at testing the new theory of “tiger parenting.” ... Overall, these studies showed that parenting in each of these cultures is a mix of power-assertive type parenting and supportive parenting. The purely power-assertive type of parenting described in Chua's book was not common.

In other words, Chua's self-described definition of "tiger" parenting is considered "purely power-assertive" and actually quite rare among Chinese Americans and Asian-Americans in general.

> Although there is a popular perception that the secret behind the academic success of Asian American children is the prevalence of “tiger moms” like Amy Chua, we found that children with tiger parents actually had a lower GPA than children with supportive parents. In fact, children with supportive parents show the highest GPA, the best socio-emotional adjustment, the least amount of alienation from parents, and the strongest sense of family obligation among the four parenting profiles. Thus, our findings debunk the myths about the merits of tiger parenting.

Ahh you beat me too it. I'm reading the Marshmallow Test right now and they really ran this test with a lot of variables to really understand paticnec and self control.
Addictions were also found to be common in the test subjects with little patience.

I agree with you 100%, because soft skills or "non-cognitive skills" are often more indicative of future success rather than intelligence. See Walter Mischel's research. He is most famous for the Marsmellow Test:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Marshmallow-Test-Mastering-Self-Control/dp/1469249081

Also, I highly recommend:http://www.amazon.com/How-Children-Succeed-Curiosity-Character/dp/0544104404

I am glad your wife could help you despite your upbringing.

Have you read the marshmallow test, about the study of self control and craving-inhibition?

Do you ever look at videos of emphysema patients to motivate yourself to stay on the wagon?

I wonder if you have read The Marshmallow Test. It's about delayed gratification and intelligence :)