Reddit mentions of My Secret Garden

I recently had a fun chat with a woman I'm seeing.

I texted her the table of contents of My Secret Garden, a book of women's fantasies, and she sent me back the ones that turned her on. One was "Force me." Next time she came to visit, she mentioned she was hungry and wanted scrambled eggs. So I put a pillow on the floor, and when she got to my place, I told her that her job was to kneel down and suck my cock while I cooked her eggs. (Forceful yet thoughtful. That's how I think of myself. :-)

Point being, men can be educated if you give them a chance. (Later I scrambled her eggs a different way...)

They needed someplace to put My Secret Garden

I agree with you. Men don't know better than women, and we should listen more. I think it is toxic to assume we have to be dominant, ripped, assertive and have lots of money just to be valuable to women. You're right on about that. And I think if you want to really listen and understand women go ahead and listen to their words, but ALSO listen to their entire being. Listen to their body language, tonality, choices and ACTIONS. Observation of actions especially will lead to a more clear understanding of what women respond to and what they like.

Also by the way: https://www.amazon.com.au/My-Secret-Garden-Nancy-Friday-ebook/dp/B00GS4V1QE

This book has many womens most vulnerable revealings. If you really want to understand women this might be a good place to start as the things they wrote in were anonymous so there's no holding back :) Good luck on your journey, and I apologise for coming off as confrontational and aggressive earlier. I think we're on the same page about becoming better people and understanding women more.

Check out this book to have a better idea about sexual fantasies and how they can be very "fucked up" but still not mean anything in particular (like someone liking the thrill of sex in public because of the possibility of getting caught, it doesn't mean they WANT to get caught - so because of some childhood experience someone might get a THRILL out of getting caught by a relative, a daughter, a son, but still that does not imply sexual interest in the person). Sexuality is complicated, so let's not jump the gun and assume the dude is sick, but at the same time it doesn't hurt to get someone to talk with the daughter and educate her about sexual abuse (be it from her father or anyone else).

I don't have many readings on the subject yet, only some light experience. The books I am going to read on the subject include Playing Well With Others, The New Topping Book, and My Secret Garden. An online quiz I took also helped me get a bit of a better idea of my preferences with BDSM. It's fairly extensive, so expect to see questions regarding the extreme side of things. Some people just dig it like that, and those are their preferences.

I would also recommend checking out the comic Sunstone by Shiniez on DeviantArt. It's lesbian BDSM, but you can get an idea of equipment you might use or ideas you could try out. The Secretary with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good movie to check out too, and there are other movies I plan to watch that supposedly have BDSM.

Final note: Don't take anything Fifty Shades or similar with any seriousness. It's up to you to read/watch it, but the writing is really bad and it has a piss poor representation of the BDSM community anyway. While I'll admit that the story pricked my interest of BDSM, I can honestly say there's so much more material out there which paints a better picture of it all.

I didn't get that from porn.

From "My Secret Garden" which was a woman's attempt to collect and document the fantasy lives of American women. She found, basically, that the bulk of women had and needed some pretty freakzoid fantasies to get off. The best story I read was about the woman who had to fantasize about fucking Mick Jagger.... while actually fucking Mick Jagger.