Best interpersonal relations books according to Reddit

Reddit mentions of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Sentiment score: 18
Reddit mentions: 36

We found 36 Reddit mentions of Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides). Here are the top ones.

Nonviolent Communication A Language of Life 3rd Edition Life Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships
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Length6 Inches
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Release dateSeptember 2015
Weight0.91932763254 Pounds
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Found 36 comments on Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides):

u/myexguessesmyuser · 103 pointsr/AskMen

Non Violent Communication is an excellent read. Don't let the title put you off, it's a crash course in conflict resolution and extremely easy to follow and apply.

u/adelie42 · 21 pointsr/quotes

According to Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication), it is because we don't teach it. We still have feelings and needs, but often time as children we are left feeling as though feelings and needs are selfish and shameful. But because they still exist it ends up being expressed in tragic ways.

Or if it is really bad, you end up a "Nice Guy" (making secret contracts and hoping to get what you want without ever actually telling anyone what it is).

u/PrellFeris · 6 pointsr/introvert

Introvert who likes to dance here.

Honestly, you sound judgmental and condescending. It's okay for you to not like these things, but it's absolutely fine for your girlfriend to enjoy them. There is nothing morally wrong with getting drunk and dancing to loud music with a bunch of your friends.

Are you afraid of her cheating on you or something? Are you afraid of feeling "lame" or left out? Then you need to say that directly, not go on an insulting passive aggressive rant. A decent girlfriend can enjoy dancing and support their partner who doesn't enjoy it (and, you know, not cheat, etc.)

Trust and strong communication skills are essential to healthy relationships.

I can actually bring up some recommended reading!
Nonviolent Communication and Taking the War Out of Our Words are both excellent books on clear and effective communication and I can't recommend them enough.

I'm sorry if I've come across as harsh, but your words were pretty harsh, too. In order to feel more secure in your connection to your partner, you're going to have to trust them enough to feel safe opening up to them.

I do hope this helps.

u/ASnugglyBear · 5 pointsr/suggestmeabook

Get yourself some audiobooks and a bike. Physical activity helps settle your nerves and gets you out of the worrying about other people's opinions.

If you had a controlling or abusive parent, I'm sorry, and with distance and boundaries between you and them, some of this constant over vigilance will diminish over time. (That is a common cause of this sort of over vigilance)

Here are some audiobooks I suggest for your rides:

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy

The 7 Habits of Self-Loving People

Gifts of Imperfection


Here are some paper/kindle books also in this vein:

Non-Violent communication is about talking to people intimately, baring yourself vulnerably to them. It's about not demanding things. It's also about talking to yourself with similar kindness and gentleness (which you're likely not doing)

The Tao is Silent is a mathematician playing with accepting ideas, some of which are vaguely influenced by Taoism. The chapter on Dogs and Free Will I always found personally very freeing.



u/Tolingar · 4 pointsr/polyamory

Nonviolent communication does not mean that there is abuse, it is a method of communicating detailed in the excellent book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. It is a method of communication that focus word choice to try to remove negative values from your communication. If you have not read the book I highly recommend it, along with The Usual Error another communication book, this one focusing on how to effectively listen to understand, and communicate to be understood.

u/peppermint-kiss · 4 pointsr/polyamory

The following strategies and resources are those that have proven particularly useful to me. I hope they will prove useful to you as well. I think it's helpful to approach them like an academic subject - take notes, analyze and dig deeper, look for related resources. Take your time on it and approach it like a continuing education process.

Self-work:

u/MrMichaelz · 3 pointsr/hsp

Maybe the crying stems from being overwhelmed by your emotions and thus a bit too carried away.
I use several techniques to help me not get "up there" too much. Focusing on my breathing can be one of them, paying attention to my posture is another, directing my attention to body parts (especially the feet) and bodily sensations... I use several, but the general purpose is to re-ground myself.

Another explanation could be that you are unable to express your feelings in a way that would be satisfying to you (or maybe even that you are judging yourself for your feelings).
You could look into NonViolent Communication (this is a nice introduction), I found it to be a great tool to learn self-compassion and expression.

Good luck out there, I bet you are a beautiful person.

u/JakeAndBake · 3 pointsr/AskGaybrosOver30

Nonviolent Communication. It sounds a lot like physically beating people up but I was angsy af when I was younger and this helped me find empathy, get to the root of conflicts and find mutually beneficial solutions.

u/tomtomdam · 3 pointsr/blackpeoplegifs

I sense that your main objective when coming across these situations is to resolve conflict, in other words offering closure. Am I interpreting that right? This can be helpful in cases where people seem to be stuck in a rut. And I see where you are coming from with regards to offering insight, as it can be disheartening to see that people are not taking in your requests or the information you provide, despite your honest and good-willed intentions.

However, in my opinion, here lies the difficult part - recognising people's feelings and needs, and connecting the two together. For example, a person could state "You never listen to me". A simple response would be to dismiss it and say "Yes I do!" which would then be followed by "No, you don't!"

Now, by using this technique, you could instead offer understanding by replying to the first statement: "So you feel upset/frustrated (feeling) because you want to be heard and understood when we talk (need)?"

Yes, this requires guesswork, yet listening is a skill, meaning it takes practice to make it work. It might even take multiple attempts before you reach mutual understanding. In that case you could ask "I'm confused as to what you mean. Could you tell me what you're feeling and what needs aren't being fulfilled?" After identifying feelings and needs, a connection is formed between you and the other speaker, which can then give you the comfort to offer requests without a negative reaction.

There's so much more I could say about this line of communication. I would encourage you to read the book 'Non-violent communication' by Marshall Rosenberg, if you are curious about resolving conflict in a cooperative yet honest manner, while passing on the closure you want to offer to others.

EDIT rephrasing

u/JaskoGomad · 3 pointsr/rpg

I'm intrigued by the book. Here's one for you.

Thanks

u/YouAreSalty · 3 pointsr/xboxone

I suggest then that you two read the two following books

https://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322/

https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/

Suggested by MS CEO, Satya Nadella. I read them, and they solidified a lot of things that were helpful in dealing with issues like this.

u/SpiritHeartilly · 3 pointsr/LifeProTips

Just get the book. Nonviolent communication. If you like that one, start from there.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, 3rd Edition: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) https://www.amazon.com/dp/189200528X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_TLbJxbZ26R038

There are some PDFs floating around too.

u/dogwoodcat · 3 pointsr/fosterit

Another great read is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg. It sounds ridiculous until you try it, but it works wonders.

u/sf_guest · 3 pointsr/relationship_advice

Sounds like you're being pretty hard on yourself. Here's a few thoughts from someone who was also pretty hard on himself:

  1. Stay away from Red Pill / MRA / PUA, they prey on vulnerable guys. There is no value there.
  2. Work on yourself, and I don't mean go to the gym. I mean stop beating yourself up. If you can afford it, a therapist is very helpful. Here are a few ideas of things you can do yourself:
    1. https://www.amazon.com/Men-Women-Worthiness-Experience-Enough/dp/B00D4APD3M
    2. https://www.amazon.com/Will-Change-Men-Masculinity-Love/dp/0743456084
    3. https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X
    4. https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520
  3. Hang out with friends, it's OK to not be in a relationship, even for a long time. Putting extra pressure on yourself isn't helpful.
  4. Consider reading this: https://johntreed.com/products/succeeding. I've found it's a pretty good field guide to life. If nothing else it's an interesting deep dive on how someone else managed their dating experience.

    You'll be amazed at how hard women find it to find a great guy. You can be that great guy.
u/PeteMichaud · 2 pointsr/relationship_advice

So, this is a complex topic. You can certainly ask her to change her phrasing, and if she did that consistently, then the problem wouldn't surface anymore. But the problem isn't the way she phrases things, it's your reaction to your own interpretation of her phrasing that hurts you.

You can imagine someone else in the world who wouldn't mind her phrasing, or would even like it--for example, they might interpret it as active listening, like she's really involved in trying to understand what you're saying, and that feels good.

But even if you do interpret her phrasing the way you do, you also can choose your own reaction to it. Let's say you interpret it as disrespect. You can get angry or frustrated about being disrespected, but a different person might not be bothered in the slightest about being disrespected.

Professional counseling can help you with either of those intervention points, and with others as well.

But sure, it's perfectly possible and reasonable to ask your partner to help you by making a change--but notice how I said that. It's not about you controlling you them so they stop being bad. It's about you making a request of them to help you have an easier time even though it's not their fault or responsibility.

If you are interested in ideas like that, I VERY HIGHLY recommend this book: http://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1459293673&sr=8-1&keywords=nonviolent+communication

Good luck!

u/contents_may_vary · 2 pointsr/aspergers

I have not found one specific book that caused a huge improvement in my social skills, rather small bits from lots of different types of books have slowly helped me improve over the years:

u/kilgoresparrot · 2 pointsr/askportland

I can recommend Allies in Change, they have a couple of locations and offer a few different approaches to counseling (group, couple, individual). Not sure about cash pay pricing, but it might be worth giving them a call to see if you think they have something that would be a good fit for you.
I also can't recommend the book Nonviolent Communication highly enough. It should be required reading for humans.

u/conekt · 2 pointsr/bisexual

There are a few books that are considered standard reading for poly people

u/tanukisuit · 2 pointsr/nursing

I don't know of a website off hand, but whenever I trained to work in psych, we had to learn about "nonviolent communication". Here is a book that looks like it'd be a good tool: https://www.amazon.com/dp/189200528X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_U1qkDbNXYW8YB

Just look up that terminology, there might be some CEUs too.

u/fjla72fhgs · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

For those of you who like a coherent "system," try Non-Violent Communication (NVC):

https://www.reddit.com/r/nvc

https://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/aboutnvc/4partprocess.htm

​

It's a 4-part process where you:

- "observe" what you see (non-judgmentally and non-analyzing).

- identify how you feel (this is probably the hardest part)

- tie this feeling to a "need" you have

- last: make a request

It works whether both parties or just one party does it.

​

There is a whole book on it which is worth reading and I consider it a life goal to spread this technique to others. Book link: https://smile.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships-dp-189200528X/dp/189200528X

​

​

u/trhaynes · 1 pointr/IWantToLearn

I have a simple and perfect answer. This is incredibly helpful, I cannot recommend it highly enough:
https://www.amazon.ca/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X


There is an audiobook version, which is a pretty quick listen. I think you will find it helpful and very practical.

u/c-r-u-x · 1 pointr/asmr

I'm currently reading his book 'Nonviolent Communication' and it's profoundly changing my life. The cover promotes as one of the most useful books you'll ever read and for once that's not at all bullshit.

Also check out this workshop of his on YouTube if you're interested.

u/chrisoffner3d · 1 pointr/de

Ich versuche mich in nuancierterer Betrachtung und verzichte gerne auf "wenn ich X höre, wird mir schlecht", aber den Kommentar fand ich auch bedenklich. Nicht aber, weil Sascha Lobo so ein böser Kerl ist, sondern weil das wunderbar aufzeigt, wie unbeholfen wir alle in puncto Kommunikation sind.

Das mit Abstand praktisch nützlichste Buch, das ich jemals gelesen habe, ist Marshall Rosenberg - Nonviolent Communication. Kann es jedem nur wärmstens ans Herz legen. Marshall Rosenberg erklärt darin, wie und warum wir uns oft - selbst mit besten Absichten - auf eine Art und Weise ausdrücken, die das vollkommene Gegenteil der von uns erwünschten Reaktion provoziert, und beschreibt Methoden und ein System, um effizienter zu kommunizieren.

u/BoozeAndHotpants · 1 pointr/JUSTNOMIL

The hardest part is to detach emotionally from them and their expectations. It’s really difficult, even when you know you need to. Just remember, they aren’t sitting there trying to please YOU with their words and actions, they are expecting you to please THEM. Intellectually, you know you aren’t responsible for their emotions. In practice, if you are a compassionate person, it is really hard to look someone you care about in the eye and say something you KNOW will disappoint them, even if you say it compassionately. All I can tell you is that it gets easier with experience, and it is quite liberating.

I’m going to suggest the book Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It’s not a quick or easy read, but it changed my life. This book gave me the tools to have difficult conversations and feel like I honored all parties involved, including myself. It gives you a framework to use that can break communication logjams, and also helps you focus on what is important in a conversation.

I also highly recommend any YouTube video, podcast or book by Brene Brown. I listen to and read Brene Brown when I need some courage when dealing with my own JustNoMom.

https://smile.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication

u/NintenJoo · 1 pointr/LifeProTips

Read this:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

https://www.amazon.com/dp/189200528X/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_NnNMybPJ98JS1

u/BloodInMySaltStream · 1 pointr/AskMen

Please do! But know this comes from years of working together and learning how to COMMUNICATE. Oh for the love of christ, please communicate. Talk, even about sensitive subjects. And if I can also say something else, check out this book - very helpful:
https://smile.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493063192&sr=1-1&keywords=nonviolent+communication

u/phoenixrising8580 · 1 pointr/family

I’m going to be honest here. Maybe stepping up around the house might help. Sounds like your dad is stressed out at bare minimum and showing that you are a team and in this together might help.

He obviously feels disrespected when these tasks don’t get done and to be honest with you if one of my teenagers hung up on me mid conversation they would loose their car keys. That being said the context of that conversation was bullshit.

Maybe saying something like “dad I am so sorry (brothers name) forgot to do (item). I totally get how frustrated you are right now. You have a right to be irritated, right now I’m at ( xyz activity ) if you still need to vent when I get home I would be happy to continue the conversation. I have to get back to my obligations here right now “


I highly recommend a book called non violent communication for diffusing people like this

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) https://www.amazon.com/dp/189200528X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_GOZCDb87YW2D3

u/20182019_Throwaway · 1 pointr/Divorce

This is super helpful; I am on hiatus in trying to repair communication with the ex, but if I try again I will use the FYI RR method.

​

I've used methods learned from this book and then gray rock but that was not enough to stop the bids of arguments from the ex (high conflict.)

u/hammer-head · 1 pointr/Dogtraining
  1. It sounds like your roommates don't take this as seriously as you do. I'm no good at diplomacy and getting irresponsible people to be responsible, but I think that's going to be as important as any dog training advice you'll get from us.
    Consider skimming Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg for some practical communication advice so you can get your point across without creating an air of hostility. I described the process in a previous comment here.
  2. Separation and time sounds really smart. Consider also specific socialization training for both of them – the Pomchi needs to learn to be comfortable around the Pomeranian, but the Pomeranian also needs to learn how to initiate play with the Pomchi and when to take no for an answer.
    The best way to do that, I think, is for them to get a lot of experience around other dogs before letting them loose on each other, ideally at a dog park, or with dog friends you make on your neighborhood walks. I'm not experienced enough to offer specific advice here, but YouTube is your friend!
u/onethelight · 1 pointr/exmormon

the fiance alienated his intended source with accusations and insults. using non violent communication would have been a more effective choice if the intent was to solicit self reflection and change.

let me make clear, this by no means is is said to negate how what she said was fucked up...

u/anonf99 · 1 pointr/travel

This isn't really related to travel, but good job getting a few weeks sober! You might be interested in a book called Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I found it incredibly helpful to develop a vocabulary of needs and to understand how those relate to ways I feel, like sad, despondent, excited, optimistic, and everything in between.

I also think it provides a good framework for understanding my own values, and allowed me to take responsibility for my own life. It was helpful to understand that I am responsible for my own happiness, and that I am the only one who can give power over my happiness to someone else (like an ex, a boss, parent, or anyone else who you think is bringing you down.)

I was not paid to write this :) , but sharing something that I think might be of value in the long term. It is good to practice some self-empathy. You will always have ups and downs, but here's to hoping you can be kind to yourself.

u/titspussybutnodicks · 0 pointsr/worldnews

Wow... that escalated quickly. Here’s a great book you might want to get.