Reddit mentions of Persistence Of Vision

> i hope that your tinder match comes through. she sounds like a satisfying time in many ways

We talked for a half hour on the phone tonight. We kind of let our hair down, each behaving with a bit of abandon, not fearing the other's inner criticism. Amazingly she cursed a lot, but in a dignified fashion somehow. I'm still unsure what she thinks of me, but I think it was good that neither of us was on pins and needles. A good sign; a basis of trust.

> you & i are likely in same age bracket, 40s?

I'm in my 50s but look 5-10 years younger. I listen to metal and post-rock and live in Bushwick, the so-called Brooklyn "cutting edge slacker hipster art world center" haha (though they think I'm an oldster and call me sir, which I hate). But OTOH, I don't really "belong" in the social milieus where most of my high school and college peers ended up (variously, country clubs, gated communities, upper echelon urban professional circles, farms in the middle of the nowhere). But in any case, you and I do seem similar in outlook.

>My mentality is likely different from other women my/our age. once i divorce, i won't eagerly seek an 'ultimate partner' (already found it, but alas, unavailable). is there such a thing?

I think that's smart. I could discuss the query "is there such a thing?" for hours—but not here, not now. It's something I've thought a great deal about, starting around 1977.

>the secrecy is difficult for me, too, though SO and I practice polyamory of sorts, we're not out about it. one of our rules is 'the child knows nothing, meets nobody', and i'd like that to change simply because i hate lying to her about who i'm spending time with or talking to via phone. and lying to her caregivers about why i'm going out of town for a week for work, when actually i'm meeting AP. and my APs/Bfs don't seem real or authentic if i'm keeping them secret.

Yes, all those issues together, ouch, that's complicated and burdensome. I can understand why it's beginning to wear on you.

> how is it that you've practiced poly previously but not in this relationship? and that's not an option? i didn't go through to look at your comment history and don't know if this is something you've touched on before.

I just don't have the time for poly anymore; that was a bit of sea change when I turned 40 and became a more committed artist. As far as my SO, when I met her, she had half a dozen sex partners. For awhile there was a discussion of joining another couple for a weekend of fun, but we determined that I might potentially get jealous to the point of feeling hurt. (It didn't help that the woman I was in love with was banging seven other guys and that it was taking months for her to see how much I loved her.) I don't like my jealous side, but sometimes it's there.

I think a more interesting question would be to challenge me on something I wrote earlier: "QuirkyGuy, just what the hell did you mean by meta-poly?"

In the late 70s I lived in a small west coast town among a tight social circle committed to the polyamory tenets of the short story "The Persistence of Vision" in the book of the same name by John Varley. Although the novella is ostensibly about navigating the transcendent, as well as exploring the question of whether physical disabilities can free people, the setup is that the protagonist of the story visits a community of completely polygamous/polyamorous people to learn more about how they live.

They have "transcended" jealousy by instituting the following practice: whenever someone gets jealous for some reason, feeling that they're not getting enough sex (or love), the rest of the community descends upon the person, usually most of them naked, and the group makes love to the jealous person until the jealousy just melts away. There are some other very sexual details to the story that make it quite the enjoyable romp, but I don't want to give the whole thing away.

In this town that I lived in, we were committed to these tenets—if not completely in practice, then certainly in theory as well as in the spirit of things. For example, if a woman came to visit me and I didn't have time for her because I had to study, my roommate was usually there to make love to her. If I was feeling extremely lonely on a particular night, TWO women would come to visit me and stay the night. But the circle has to be very tight, and all the members well versed in the basic tenets and intents of this lifestyle, for it to work. When a new member joined the circle, we usually initiated them by having a slumber party and reading the entire novella aloud to them during the night while we cuddled and caressed them.

I've always believed that this was in some way philosophically and ultimately different (i.e., more supportive and healing) from the way most groups (I have known about) practice polyamory, and especially different from the lais·sez-faire, free-wheeling practices of NYC sex clubs like Trapeze.