Reddit mentions of Shea Moisture African Black Soap Deep Cleansing Shampoo - 13 oz.

>And so it seems unnatural to force her to celebrate a country her maternal grandmother was born into just because of her skin colour, whether or not that country is part of her life.


The thing is, if she stands out and that makes her feel alien (and other people play into that actively or passively), then having something positive associated with her skin color can help her feel more balanced.

I'd say buy her books. Children's stories, and then later young adult novels written by Caribbean writers or set somewhere where there are many different colors of people. That will give her the knowledge necessary to develop the bonds with her ethnicity as she grows and needs them, and feel more average despite looking different. Read the books too, so you understand how her ideas develop, and can be more wise yourself.

Her hair:


African hair, being super curly, is more prone to dryness and breakage because oil from the scalp works its way down the shaft, conditioning it, much slower because of the curl.

That means that you don't shampoo it as often as European hair, perhaps only once a week depending on just how curly it is. You do use more conditioner, and specially formulated oils. You don't brush it necessarily, but comb it only with conditioner in it with a wide tooth brush.

The other thing is, you MUST learn to braid. For real. Take a trip into the closest large city, find an 'ethnic' salon
and beg for help. Pay someone to teach you to braid. And to give you better advice on her texture than people that can't see it on the internet can give you. You can also search you tube for tutorials. Her self-esteem is going to be crap if she can't learn to handle her own hair, and she only has you to learn from. Take trips into the city as often as you can until you have it down.

I would also go by http://www.reddit.com/r/blackladies/ and ask them for advice. Many more qualified people over there than here, most likely.

>she came across a lot of arguments and articles about 'natural' hair, and how/if it should be worn, and a few websites were basically saying it was racist to do stuff to it, and then my girlfriend freaked out.

Yes. But I have a piece of information that can simplify the matter for you. The chemicals used to straighten hair are unhealthy and can be a detriment to a child's health. Keeping her hair natural until she is 16-18 is arguably healthier, and then she can choose to style or perm or not in a way that honors herself and without you accidentally giving her any bad messages about being born the way she is.


Know that like red-heads in your corner of the world, people with curly hair (African or other) can be treated badly for it, socially and even professionally. (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/curl-products/untangling-curl-bias-in-corporate-america/) Chris Rock made this movie that can be a good introduction, though it is very US-centric. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213585/


Don't be afraid of knowledge! Being a parent is always scary!


Edit to add: order products from amazon until you can find cheaper local alternatives. Ex:
http://www.amazon.com/Moisture-African-Black-Cleansing-Shampoo/dp/B0038U4TQU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419110446&sr=8-1&keywords=african+hair+shampoo

http://www.amazon.com/Jamaican-Black-Castor-Protein-Conditioner/dp/B003CTVSKC/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1419110469&sr=8-2&keywords=african+hair+conditioner

http://www.amazon.com/Garnier-Fructis-Intensely-Leave-In-Conditioning/dp/B005GQ6HUK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419110498&sr=8-1&keywords=african+spray+in+conditioner

The spray-in stuff should help with styling in-between washes.

I used to use head and shoulder's every day too. I never really gave my shampoo any thought and I wish I had.

The problem that curly girl tries to address, is that there's this vicious cycle of sulfates and silicones. You use shampoo with harsh detergents (sulfates) to strip all the build up out of your hair. Then, you follow it up with conditioner full of silicones to replenish your hair's moisture, but the silicones cause build up and then you NEED to shampoo.

It takes time, but you follow the curly girl(/guy) method, your hair will find it's natural balance and not be so greasy. No-poo and co-washing are still too unnerving for me. So, I use a low-poo "Shea Moisture African Black Soap Deep Cleansing Shampoo Sulfate Free" and use a shampoo brush every 3 days. That shampoo and the shampoo brush help deal with dandruff.

I pin my bangs back the first day because my skin is oily and it greases up my bangs very quickly. Day 3 isn't my favourite (in terms of hair oil), but it's manageable and slowly becoming better.


Shampoo: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B0038U4TQU

Shampoo Brush: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00XUUKDXG

Video (CurlyPenny on Causes + Fixes to a Flaky Scalp):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY4427Ojt1w

Hi! Don't feel bad about all those years of shampooing and not conditioning. I was raised female, and still made that mistake. I'm 29 and didn't start conditioning until April of this year. I thought I was too greasy for conditioner!

On to your questions!

1. Nizoral is the bomb! I have scalp issues too-- my scalp gets super greasy, and I have eczema. Grease + sweat and dirt and debris = major issues with scalp eczema. If you want to pick it up at a store local to you, I find it's usually in the Beauty section. It's the only shampoo that's helped with my scalp issues, and the one sulfate in it is low on the list. Before I went mod CG, I loved the way my hair felt after washing with Nizoral, and hadn't had that kind of luck with a shampoo in a long time, despite trying all the usual dandruff shampoos (and some odd ones).
   
   If you want to totally ditch sulfates but still take care of your dandruff, you can experiment with Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat, or Shea Moisture African Black Soap Deep Cleansing Shampoo. I'm pretty sure there are more CG options I'm forgetting, but those are the ones that I remember off the top of my head. I've been experimenting with the Giovanni TTTT, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It seems fine with my hair, but my scalp seems to have issues in general with every tea tree product I try. It's often paired with mint/mentholatum, which is a skin irritant.
   
   
2. You can dry your hair with an old t-shirt (the softer it is, the more absorbent it seems, to me). You can scrunch your hair with the towel, and Curly Penny gives a pretty decent demo of this. You can also use a hair dryer, and the general consensus seems to be: use a finger diffuser (also called a bowl diffuser), use low speed/air, and low-medium heat and don't dry all the way with a blow dryer. You can also use a microfiber towel (the ones in the automotive section are cheaper, although they're smaller). Experiment to figure out which method works best not just for your hair, but for keeping your routine manageable.
   
   I get the best results with using a t-shirt to get my hair just dry enough not to drip, and then air-drying. But if I need my hair to be dry for some reason, I do break out the diffuser.
   
   
3. A lot of people swear by using a wide-tooth comb, with their head upside down, in the shower, with their hair full of conditioner. The conditioner does help, by providing slip so tangles come out easily and gently instead of causing hair to break or rip when you detangle. A wide-tooth comb reduces the likelihood of breakage as well.
   
   A Denman brush is this. As near as I can tell, it just means the bristles are spaced further apart, again to help prevent breakage and further tangling when you detangle-- but bear in mind that I don't really understand the Denman brush thing, either. It just looks like a brush to me. A wide-tooth comb has the bristles or tines spaced further apart as opposed to a fine tooth comb. I like a comb that has the tines almost chopstick-width apart. You can also just comb your hair in the shower with your fingers and your conditioner-- I like using a comb better because it feels more effective, to me.
   
   The other reason we don't comb after showering is because it breaks up clumps-- you want clumps if you want strong curls and good definition. Otherwise it can look stringy. I recently read someone talking about curly haircuts saying "ends need friends"-- and so they do, for curls to look right.
   
   I think this stuff is hard, and a lot of us just don't get good info on hair or skincare. Good luck to you.

Ugh, yes - it can be so tough! But I finally got a few budget-friendly products. In case you're interested, here it is:

• Shampoo: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0038U4TQU/ref=oh_aui_frsh_dp?ie=UTF8&fpw=fresh
  
  
• Conditioner: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B06XWFS2KM/ref=oh_aui_frsh_dp?ie=UTF8&fpw=fresh
  
  
• Leave In: Same as conditioner plus olive oil (or oil of choice)
  
  
• Products:
  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008Y9Y7UI/ref=oh_aui_frsh_dp?ie=UTF8&fpw=fresh
  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01EVQ39X8/ref=oh_aui_frsh_dp?ie=UTF8&fpw=fresh
  
  Everything is CG approved! This link has been probably the most helpful thing in helping me choose my products: http://isitcg.herokuapp.com/
  
  As for that haircut, I have an appointment on Saturday! Woo!

What sulfate free shampoo did you use? Seriously, I went through everything that you are describing. I gave up being no-poo and settled for being low-poo. I use Shea Moisture products, I think they're awesome. My curls have really come back to life and my dandruff/itchiness has really settled down. I wouldn't say it's completely gone, but it is definitely way better. Shea Moisture has a line specifically for dandruffy/itchy scalp but I only use the shampoo and the purifying hair masque. For conditioner, I use the restorative condtioner and just make sure to keep it off of my scalp. It can be kind of pricey, so at the very least I would suggest trying the masque, it feels so good when you rub it into your scalp and it rinses out fine with just water.

I use this one

You don't need a special "dreadlock" shampoo. I've never bought a single dreadlock-oriented product and I just hit the two year mark a month ago.

Look for "residue-free" shampoos. I mostly use Dr. Bronner's (I dilute 2-4 drops in a water bottle before I apply it). Neutrogena makes a residue-free shampoo, but it smells like Egyptian perfume so it's not everyone's cup of tea.

I also really like african black soap but it isn't technically residue free. It makes my hair feel amazing though so I use it every week or two. It also comes in a bar form like Dr. Bronners but I feel like the bars are difficult to manage how much soap you're using and I will always end up using way more than I need to.

I also did the twist and rip method and my locs are now a few inches past my shoulders. I wash with shampoo every other wash. The washes in between I use just straight water to scrub my scalp and rinse my dreads really well. I try to be very cautious of what I put in my locs and I pay most attention to rinsing well and drying completely.

Ninja edit: Forgot to add, I have been using argan oil to help hydrate my hair after washes. I usually spray some in while I'm drying my hair. There are a few different brands and mixes you can get, but this is the one I have been using. I looked for the one that didn't mention anything about detangling when I bought it (some of the others mentioned they help detangle, so I just avoided those but I'm not really sure how good/bad they are for dreads).